Person Gets Told Off For Disciplining SIL’s 2 Young Kids, Allows Them To Wreak Absolute Hell At Home Next Time They Babysit
Everyone has their own parenting style, but some take this to such an extreme that they make sure no one but them can discipline a kid. Which is all well and good until they need a babysitter.
This is the precise situation one teen ended up in when their brother asked them to babysit a niece and nephew. A pretty normal family request, until the kids started trashing the brother’s house. Naturally, OP tried to give them a time-out for trashing their parent’s house only to later be yelled at by their brother. So the next time OP was asked to babysit, they got comfortable and relaxed as the kids wreaked havoc across the house.
Disciplining children is often best left to the parents, but some take this concept too far
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A teen took a babysitting job only to get yelled at for trying to stop the kids from wrecking the house
Image credits: Avi Waxman (not the actual photo)
Image source: Cakey-Cavy
Parenting strategies are ultimately up to the people actually raising the child, but this assumes there is even a strategy in place
Image credits: Monstera (not the actual photo)
Parenting is one of those topics that has a thousand methods to fit a thousand circumstances. Every culture, demographic, and philosophy has its own ideas of how it should be done. So a parent telling someone that only they have the right to discipline their child is, on the surface, understandable and maybe even preferable. While there are certain acceptable norms that vary from country to country, the role of raising children is not really something that should be approached democratically. However, it’s vital that whatever choices are made, they are actually designed to raise a child and not just a side effect of lazy parenting.
OP’s choice of a time-out is an age-old classic that many readers might remember from their own childhood. For those that never experienced it, a time-out is when a child is forced to just sit in a separate area, a room, a chair, or even the corner and just do nothing for a set period of time. Being “grounded” is a variant of this, the word itself originating from aviation where a pilot was forced to stay on the ground. Often this would be a result of weather or maintenance requirements, but sometimes pilots, like children, would be grounded due to poor behavior. The time-out uses a number of different psychological methods to punish the child for misbehavior. First, there is good old FOMO (fear of missing out,) where the child feels sadness at not being able to hang out with friends and do stuff.
Sending kids to time-out is a tried and true discipline method
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Many adults might think that sitting in silence for an hour or two sounds perfect, dreamlike even, but research shows that it’s an effective way to make a child calm down and start to assess why they are in the predicament they find themselves in. However, some behavioral specialists think the method has some significant flaws. First, it does not actually make the child more likely to avoid the problem behavior, it just teaches them that they shouldn’t be caught by an authority figure. It is also very passive, not helping the kid develop any conflict resolution skills or communication methods or even talking through the events to better understand what they did wrong and why they are being punished.
More shrewd, contemporary parents may have noticed the other flaw, that a lot of kids don’t mind “sitting around,” as long as they have internet access. But all of this discussion is somewhat moot, as the parents in OP’s story didn’t seem to have a parenting strategy at all, just some unrelated feeling that it was their job. OP notes that Nick and Mya are a force of chaos, ignoring all orders and just tearing the house apart. While this could be a novel parenting method that Casey and Mandy were trying out, they also seemed very unhappy at the results of their own children’s behavior later in the story, indicating that they don’t actually want the chaos they have done anything to prevent. To quote the Simpsons, they have tried nothing and are all out of ideas.
Readers wanted to get some follow-up on the whole situation
Others agreed that OP was not to blame and the parents really need to sort out their priorities
For future reference. Kids can go in time out for one minute per year they are old. A 2 year old goes in time out for 2 minutes. A 5 year old for 5. You get the idea. No one can convince me that breaks rules of gentle parenting. Sometimes kids just need a "cool down" period before you can talk to them about what's going on in their little heads. Mandy sounds awful and her poor kids are suffering the consequences of that awful. Eventually they'll need to learn how to live in the real world, where the word "no" is something they'll need to take seriously. You're 17 and with how she seems to think, Mandy isn't going to listen to your insight because "you're just a kid." I hope the grandparents can push back on Mandy about how she's setting her kids up for failure. You're wise beyond your years but I don't think she can see that. I wish you the best of luck :)
It's been a hot minute since I took developmental psychology, so I could be wrong on how things are done now. I feel the need to point that out because I don't have kids, so parenting/babysitting advice is outside of what I feel super comfortable about giving online.
Load More Replies...There doesn't seem to be clear agreement on what exactly the term means. Quite a few parents who say they're doing "gentle parenting" do interpret it as not saying no to their kids or disciplining them when they misbehave.
Load More Replies...For future reference. Kids can go in time out for one minute per year they are old. A 2 year old goes in time out for 2 minutes. A 5 year old for 5. You get the idea. No one can convince me that breaks rules of gentle parenting. Sometimes kids just need a "cool down" period before you can talk to them about what's going on in their little heads. Mandy sounds awful and her poor kids are suffering the consequences of that awful. Eventually they'll need to learn how to live in the real world, where the word "no" is something they'll need to take seriously. You're 17 and with how she seems to think, Mandy isn't going to listen to your insight because "you're just a kid." I hope the grandparents can push back on Mandy about how she's setting her kids up for failure. You're wise beyond your years but I don't think she can see that. I wish you the best of luck :)
It's been a hot minute since I took developmental psychology, so I could be wrong on how things are done now. I feel the need to point that out because I don't have kids, so parenting/babysitting advice is outside of what I feel super comfortable about giving online.
Load More Replies...There doesn't seem to be clear agreement on what exactly the term means. Quite a few parents who say they're doing "gentle parenting" do interpret it as not saying no to their kids or disciplining them when they misbehave.
Load More Replies...
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