Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

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Losing a parent can very negatively affect a child’s life. After all, they lose a person who was meant to raise them. Luckily, some children have other people in their lives who can help them to grow up.

Today’s story focuses on a woman who lost her dad when she was little. Fortunately, her uncle stepped into father figure shoes. And so, it’s no surprise that she asked him to “give her away” during her wedding. But this caused some tension in his marriage.

More info: Reddit

Should an uncle give away his niece during her wedding if she asks him to?

Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

The author’s niece lost her father when she was little, and ever since then, he was basically her father figure, even though his wife wasn’t a fan of it

Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

Image credits: Fernanda De Freitas (not the actual photo)

Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)

Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

Image credits: u/GladResorts

When the girl grew up, she asked him to “give her away” during her wedding, but his wife said it was a bizarre request and he shouldn’t do it

The original poster has a niece who lost her father when she was really young. Early parental loss might result in a kid struggling with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-esteem, and many other mental health disorders, including prolonged grief. It can become so bad that it interferes with a person’s daily life and causes problems with other relationships.

To talk about the complications that come with losing a loved one, Bored Panda reached out to certified EMDR Therapist Khalida Himes. Check out her Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube channel.

She reiterated our idea that the death of a loved one, like a parent, can disrupt a person’s life and mental health. But she also mentioned that the way a loved one passes can significantly influence the way a person grieves. For instance, if someone is dying from a terminal illness, people around them can prepare for their loss, no matter how dreadful that sounds. Yet, when a death is unexpected, coping with it can be way more challenging.

Bringing all of this back to today’s story, at least as much as the OP wrote about, he didn’t mention how the niece’s dad died, nor did he mention her struggling with anything like prolonged grief. Maybe it’s because he always helped her mom raise her. After all, having reliable people in one’s life can surely help a person deal with grief. Just as our interviewee said, it’s important to “have your pain witnessed — we need someone to acknowledge our loss [and] pain and just witness where we are and ‘sit with us in the darkness.'”

The OP and his family lived about 10 minutes from his sister’s home, so he tried to be as physically present as possible in his niece’s life during her childhood. Yet, not everyone in the man’s life was very happy with this arrangement. For example, his wife.

Over the years, the couple had quite a few arguments due to this. While he didn’t clarify in the post, we can only guess that the woman felt that him taking care of his niece made him neglect his own children.

But he was not only physically taking care of his niece — he was also sending his sister money for around a decade. Granted, it always came from his personal account, so he had full liberty to spend it how he wanted. And he chose to help his sister raise her daughter. Quite a noble investment, isn’t it? Yet, the wife wasn’t pleased with this either.

Now that the OP’s niece is a 26-year-old woman, she is getting married. And so, she asked her uncle to give her away during the wedding. This custom comes from thousands of years ago.

Basically, women used to be viewed as the property of their fathers. It was his duty to find her a good husband and transfer her ownership to him. Sounds terrifying, doesn’t it? Well, luckily, nowadays, the tradition usually isn’t taken literally.

Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

Image credits: Abi Greer (not the actual photo)

Now, a bride chooses whether she wants to be accompanied by someone on her way to the altar. If she wants this, it can be either one of both of her parents or any other person she feels comfortable with. Essentially, this way, she gives a person she loves a part in the ceremony.

For the bride in today’s story, this person was her uncle who helped raise her. Ultimately, he likely is the main father figure in her life. Yet, it doesn’t mean that she completely forgot about her late father. Khalida mentioned that when people move on with their lives, it doesn’t mean they don’t miss the late loved one: “Moving on does not mean that we forget about our loved ones. It simply means that we eventually learn how to reinvest in life without them, and the grief becomes less frequent over time.”

So, it is beautiful that the woman in the story has a father figure in her uncle. Yet, her asking him to “give her away” didn’t make his wife happy. She thinks it was weird for the niece to even ask this.

Apparently, she was the only one who thought that it was weird. When her husband posted about this situation on Reddit, people there were confused as to why she thought this way. They pointed out that she should be proud of her husband for taking care of a child who was left fatherless.

Yet, there were some who questioned why the wife was so frustrated with this arrangement when it sounded great from the outside perspective. To one commenter, he answered that his wife had given him her reasoning. She feels that he’s closer to his niece than his daughter, but he claims that it’s not true.

Well, we don’t want to assume the worst about some strangers, so we really hope that this theory isn’t true because it would paint the whole story in a very different light, wouldn’t it?

It also just simply seems weird to her that he would go to the wedding as a father figure while the mother figure there is his sister.

Anyway, in the end, the couple needs to find a way for this whole situation to feel good to both of them. Yes, being a father figure to someone who lacks it is good, but it shouldn’t ruin your life (or marriage) either.

He told her he’s gonna do it no matter what she said, and when he posted about it online, people there were left wondering why the wife was so weirded out by this whole situation

Bride-To-Be Asks Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Which Leaves His Wife Creeped Out

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

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What do you think ?

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Alexandra 4 months ago

Per the update: so happy this man will walk his niece down the aisle. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. There have been instances with no one walking the bride, the father walking the bride, the mother or the brother or even both mothers or both fathers and a sister or friend walking the bride down the aisle. For God's sake, why can't people just be happy for someone else???

44points

Ouss Ben Aziza 4 months ago

Deep rooted insecurity that they refuse to share out of fear of being judged. Is my guess!

28points

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Bored something 4 months ago

I agree. My aunt gave her daughter away as her dad had passed away before. I didn't have aisle and wasn't given away (because I'm not property!) Just because traditionally the father gives the bride away doesn't mean there is no other way to do it. In this case he seems like he did what he thought was right, unfortunately his wife didn't agree with him. I would guess that there was deeply rooted insecurity and probably jealousy going on. Maybe she felt like her family was suffering because he was split between the two time wise and financially. Even if he didn't neglect his family, depending on the wife, if it isn't 100% all the time it's never enough.

7points

MadRatter 4 months ago

My sister was debating whether to walk down the aisle alone, as she thought the idea of a man giving a woman away to another man was old fashioned. I just told her it was her choice and no matter what, I'd stick by her. Our dad ended up walking her down the aisle anyway. I am happy she chose that. The old man looked so extremely proud.

1point

millac 3 months ago (edited)

I'm thinking the wife is pissed because this is yet another thing being taken away from her family and her kids. Their dad getting the special experience and all those feelings while walking his daughter down the aisle for the first time was supposed to be reserved for his own daughter, and now even that is getting stolen. When it is his daughter's turn, it won't be as special and unique. Wife is having problems articulating it, because its complicated and messy and she in the middle of it, he hasn't listened on any of the previous times she's said he's been neglecting his family, and she knows she'll be called a bad person if she complains. Dad also *shouldn't* be "loving both equally". That's not fair to his own kids. They deserve 100% of a dad, not 50% of one, and it seems like he catastrophically failed at giving all kids involved 100%, let alone his wife.

-1point