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Some nice guys aren’t actually nice, that’s for sure—they’re secretly so-called ‘nice guys’ who hide who they really are and can't ever take 'no' for an answer. Folks who seem polite, mild-mannered, friendly, and genuinely kind one moment can do a 180 and transform into angry, spiteful, and downright toxic people the moment things don’t go their way. Especially in situations involving romance and rejection.

‘Nice guys’ are more than happy to keep up the illusion of fake niceness, but they often show their true emotions and insecurities when rejected. And then their inner beasts come out. Beware anyone who’s within range! But let’s look at some specific examples, shall we?

TikTok user Keiren Benjamin features and voices stories about ‘nice guys’ that he finds online, including a very viral one about a woman getting stalked by a random guy after she went hiking. You’ll find the stories below. Let us know if you’ve ever been in a similar situation before, Pandas.

Fitness expert and entrepreneur Jack Bly gave Bored Panda some advice on improving for the better, the importance of having perspective, learning to self-reflect, building genuine confidence, and moving beyond a victim mentality. Scroll down for his thoughts.

#1

Nice Guys

Nice Guys

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Berry Budgie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last message makes me want to circle back to when he said they were similar athletically…

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Bored Panda asked Jack what advice he'd give those guys who seem to be stuck in a constant victim mentality and see themselves as being wronged by society and those around them. The expert said that people should start off with small tasks and minor victories.

"Do one thing and progress at it to prove you’re not a victim. Lift weights. Help someone. Advance your career. Have a successful relationship," he said. "When you’re successful in one area you build confidence in yourself and that will translate to all of your life."

He added that we need time to adjust to the positive changes we're making in life: "Your brain needs proof around your new identity."

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    #2

    Nice Guy Is Mad That I Have Guy Friends

    Nice Guy Is Mad That I Have Guy Friends

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    #3

    Patience Is Rare Nowadays

    Patience Is Rare Nowadays

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay so first of all...brilliant last line by her. Secondly, he waited 9mins...there are songs longer than 9mins.

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    A lot of so-called 'nice guys' pretend that they have a lot of confidence in themselves, however, that illusion can quickly shatter when they're faced even with small challenges or if things don't go as they envisioned. When their expectations aren't met, 'nice guys' tend to get angry at those around them. That's something an actually confident person would never do: they would accept being rejected and simply move on.

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    However, true confidence is a skill that we can all learn, though it will take time, patience, and persistence. "Confidence comes from repetition and mastery. The more you do ANYTHING, the more confident you become. The good news about this is everyone is capable of earning confidence," fitness expert Jack told Bored Panda that this applies to all facets of life.

    #4

    I Genuinely Can't Tell If This Is Satire And I'm Just Too Hopeless To Pick Up On It?

    I Genuinely Can't Tell If This Is Satire And I'm Just Too Hopeless To Pick Up On It?

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    #5

    A Comment On A Post About A Woman Begging Her Stalker Of 5 Years To Leave Her Alone

    A Comment On A Post About A Woman Begging Her Stalker Of 5 Years To Leave Her Alone

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is heartbreaking, clearly he is clueless about how his ill conceived actions are destroying her.

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    Jack explained that it's important to reflect about yourself and how you can improve your life, especially in cases where real-life doesn't match up with how you view yourself.

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    "Responding to failure is all about the story we tell ourselves. Do you tell yourself that you are a failure? Or do you tell yourself you failed, have now gotten feedback, and know how to get better? It’s all our perspective," he said.

    #8

    Thinks He's A Gift From God

    Thinks He's A Gift From God

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    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My man there's reasons why single women are the happiest out of married/single men/women and you're all of them

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    ‘Nice guys’ very often embody the traits that some professionals consider to be examples of toxic masculinity, especially with regards to attitudes toward women. ‘Nice guys’ tend to lash out at women when rejected or think that they owe them their attention just because they happen to like them. According to British psychotherapist Silva Neves, toxic masculinity is a “general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny.”

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    The expert told Bored Panda that toxic masculinity is “a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.” Silva said that these ideas include the suggestions that men should never be ‘weak’ or ‘soft,’ that they shouldn’t ever feel vulnerable, and that they have to “always be winners.”

    “Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the psychotherapist explained.

    #11

    Nice Guy

    Nice Guy

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    #12

    Didn’t Answer His Text For A While… I Never Met Him And We Had Been Texting For A Few Days

    Didn’t Answer His Text For A While… I Never Met Him And We Had Been Texting For A Few Days

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    “A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” Silva noted how healthy masculinity differs from toxic masculinity.

    Someone who has a healthy masculine attitude, according to the expert, “embraces gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people. Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”

    #13

    He Just Wanted To Treat Me Right

    He Just Wanted To Treat Me Right

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    Call Me Mars
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He just could have left it at "understood, thanks." But NOPE! He couldn't!

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    #14

    Others: Women Don't Owe You Anything Him: False

    Others: Women Don't Owe You Anything Him: False

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    Titas Burinskas
    BoredPanda Staff
    Verified
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I have studied women for quite some time" sounds like a medieval illustrator trying to convince someone he has seen all of those exotic animals he has drawn.

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    #15

    Damn Her For Not Accepting Gifts From A Total Stranger

    Damn Her For Not Accepting Gifts From A Total Stranger

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about you see a girl sitting alone at the train station and just leave her alone.

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    Silva, the British psychotherapist, believes that it’s important to redefine masculinity and how we understand ‘male success.’ “We also need to change the image of 'male success'. So, basically, we need to change society at its core because toxic masculinity is part of a faulty system of thoughts. That will take time, but it can start with all of us doing our parts about it,” he mused.

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    One of the things that can help, Silva believes, is having more representations of men “who embrace their emotions, talk about them, and show them crying, laughing, or hugging” in real-life and various forms of media. The key point here, the expert stressed, is that men become more in tune with their emotions, instead of repressing them which can lead to a whole host of negative outcomes for them and everyone around them.

    #16

    This Guy Randomly Messaged Me After Nearly 2 Years And Is Mad That I Still Don’t Want To Date Him

    This Guy Randomly Messaged Me After Nearly 2 Years And Is Mad That I Still Don’t Want To Date Him

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    #17

    Nice Guy Was Sympathetic About Her Gma Dying But Passive Aggressive On N*des That Never Happened

    Nice Guy Was Sympathetic About Her Gma Dying But Passive Aggressive On N*des That Never Happened

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    Pamela24
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gosh, the internet is full of tits, can't you just search for some?! And also therapy, while you're there?

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    #18

    My Friend Sent Me This Dm That She Got And I Can’t Not Post It Here

    My Friend Sent Me This Dm That She Got And I Can’t Not Post It Here

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    “Better education is definitely key but it is also down to all of us to challenge it by not allowing toxic masculinity to keep going. It means that we all have to actively challenge misogyny and homophobia,” Silva said that some people still turn a blind eye to hatred. The process of change and a more compassionate, respectful, and inclusive world, he said, is long, exhausting, and an ongoing fight between competing ideas.

    #19

    Man Had A Chance And Blew It

    Man Had A Chance And Blew It

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    Jess Thompson
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m starting to see that all these men are what they say they hate about women - illogical, over emotional, mood swings, too much talking, desperate, jealous…

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    #20

    A-Hole From My Old High-School Posted This Unironically Lmao

    A-Hole From My Old High-School Posted This Unironically Lmao

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    #21

    Comment On A Meme Of A Girl With Cleavage Talking About Her Necklace

    Comment On A Meme Of A Girl With Cleavage Talking About Her Necklace

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    Bron
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How to say “I’m a misogynistic POS” without saying “I’m a misogynistic POS”

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    #22

    Worst Selection And Placement Of Emojis I Have Ever Seen

    Worst Selection And Placement Of Emojis I Have Ever Seen

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    #23

    A Gentleman Among Us

    A Gentleman Among Us

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    ForgotMyPWSendHelp
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Repeat after me: You are not owed the benefir of the doubt. You are not owed a chance. If someone does not like you, THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU. They owe you exactly nothing! Get over yourself!

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    #24

    “Cr**gy Night” (Sent To Me By My Friend)

    “Cr**gy Night” (Sent To Me By My Friend)

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    #25

    My Brother Posted This On Snapchat Lol

    My Brother Posted This On Snapchat Lol

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    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nobody asks that anymore. This guy is stuck in like 1992. People either date until they find someone or they stay single and casual.

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    #26

    Dating Without Sex Is Like Being Put On Trial, Who Knew?!

    Dating Without Sex Is Like Being Put On Trial, Who Knew?!

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    #27

    Ta For Goading Him But It Was Funny

    Ta For Goading Him But It Was Funny

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    #29

    We Met Once. He’s 37

    We Met Once. He’s 37

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    Mama Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he wants to compete with her past relationships. What a jerk!

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    #30

    Posted Byu/Cecinestpasunlogin 23 Days Ago Silver2 Reaction From “Friend” Of 5 Years To Me Leaving A Party With A Ons- Additional Context In Comments

    Posted Byu/Cecinestpasunlogin 23 Days Ago Silver2 Reaction From “Friend” Of 5 Years To Me Leaving A Party With A Ons- Additional Context In Comments

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