Unless a person lives in a homestead or a very remote area, they’re bound to share a fence with a neighbor. This doesn’t seem like a big deal to most. However, when the time comes to make changes to it, opinions start to diverge, resulting in neighborly disagreements.  

When Redditor pleasedontrefertome’s family replaced their old retaining wall separating the properties, their entitled neighbor started criticizing it, saying it was too short. Despite not having substantial enough claims as to why the structure should be changed, she threatened to call the city, which left the family completely baffled.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with its author, who kindly agreed to tell us more about it.

If not handled properly, sharing a fence with a neighbor can be a great source of friction

Image credits: jm_video / envato (not the actual photo)

This family did everything right and still faced backlash from neighborhood Karen

Image credits: PeoplecallmeBUCK / reddit (not the actual photo)

Image credits: pleasedontrefertome

“She’s causing all of us unnecessary stress over something that legally can’t be resolved to her liking, and I don’t appreciate that”

The author of the story tells Bored Panda that what inspired them to take this matter online was the need to vent about the situation without risking exposing the neighbor publicly. “While I may dislike her at the moment, she doesn’t need to be attacked publicly.”

While there are no updates yet, the author shared with us the reason they decided to avoid the neighbor. “I decided not to interact with her because she’s causing all of us unnecessary stress over something that legally can’t be resolved to her liking, and I don’t appreciate that.”

But even if they were open to compromise and restore peace with the neighbor, the Reddit user informs us that the wall can’t be extended far enough for her to be content due to their local laws. “So there’s really no point,” they add.

The author also shares that, at this point, they don’t care whether or not the neighbor will let this matter go. “She’s shown us that she’s willing to go nuclear with no care for how it affects us, so I will never see her the same way.”

A fence can become a source of friction if it’s not handled carefully

Image credits: maxx99bx / reddit (not the actual photo)

If a person owns their home, it makes sense that everything on their property belongs to them. However, as we get closer to the property line, the space gets more transitional. If a fence or wall separates the properties, it becomes a shared feature even if technically only one of the neighbors owns it and has paid for it. In the end, the fence benefits both parties and defines both of their private properties. 

As evident in the Reddit user’s story, a fence can become a source of friction if it’s not handled carefully. Since ownership and rights of physical barriers can be vague and complicated, it’s better to follow a few simple rules so minor disputes don’t develop into bigger issues. 

The best way to ensure that no dissatisfaction arises from one’s fence is to know everything about it. This starts by finding out the property lines and whether the fence is on your side of the property, the neighbor’s, or the line itself. Such information may be unknown to new homeowners who bought the house when the fence was already on their land. Therefore, they may need to have a land survey done to establish the boundaries. Knowing this information can also be helpful when defining the responsibilities concerning things like trees hanging over the fence that invade a neighbor’s space.

It’s additionally important to educate oneself about the specific requirements for the height, style, and other aspects of fences. Most homeowner’s associations and neighborhoods have particular criteria that are beneficial to know so one avoids breaking the law or offending a neighbor.

Fence etiquette can prevent neighborly disputes from arising

Image credits: Jarritos Mexican Soda / unsplash (not the actual photo)

When a person is familiar with their property line and the local requirements, they should start practicing fence etiquette that will further prevent neighborly disputes from arising. The first rule is to respect the property boundaries, as knowing where your land ends isn’t enough. This means not letting the fence exceed the line without discussing it with a neighbor and getting their permission. 

Subsequently, an individual who plans on changing something should alert their neighbors about it, no matter if their local government requires it. Even if the fence sits right on your property, modifications to it should be shared before it, as nearby residents will appreciate the heads-up about the plans that might have an impact on them. 

The kind of fence one is choosing to install is also important and should be considerate of the neighborhood style and its residents. The respectful thing to do would be to blend yours with the rest so it doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb. When installing the property barriers, it’s additionally worth thinking about ‘the good’ and ‘the bad’ sides of it. The former one should face the neighbors. But it’s even better if both sides of the fence are finished and look nice so both parties aren’t distracted by the look of it. 

Finally, when it comes to maintenance, the best bet is to not insist on sharing the expense. The laws around it are too vague and difficult to enforce, so if a neighbor is not too keen on it, it’s a good idea to walk away. But if they are willing to chip in, they should get the right to impose their opinions on how the work is done. Overall, each neighbor should strive to find a compromise that works for both parties. Otherwise, if not handled properly, fence disputes can escalate quickly and be emotionally taxing. 

The author provided more information in the comments, while readers offered how they could find a way out

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