Very similar situation for me. Ex was mad when he found out the kid didn't get his last name. It's actually part of what held up him going forward with the divorce. My son has my last name which makes sense for school, activities, appointments. His dad has seen him a handful of times in 8 years.

Wtf… Was he gone for 3 weeks because he was being restrained in Abusive Idiots Anonymous meetings?

Definitely nta, just wondering what the names are lol :) congrats on twins!

What a horrible situation for that poor woman. I hope she has plenty of loving and caring support. She’s better ensure he pays child support for those kids. It’s best they have her name. One of my nephews has his father’s last name, he hasn’t been in his life and I know he would like to change his name. In a way, she is lucky to have escaped that relationship. He’s a tool.

He bailed, he failed, send him to the trash heap, get a restraining order, and buh-bye.

Ditch him. Do you want your children have an example of a man like that in their lives? Now way! The faster you walk the other way, the better off you and your babies will be. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know how tough it is being a single mom with an entitled sperm donor. Sending you love and good vibes!

I deduce that the reason he wanted zero custody was to avoid paying child support or have any responsibility for the kids. You are not the a*****e. He needs professional help and you need a restraining order. Nip this behavior in the bud now or he will continue to harass you and those precious children. Talk to a lawyer. Serve him papers outlining exactly what his rights are as a zero custody parent. What a piece of c**p. Good thing you gave the kids the surname of their only real family. Best wishes to you.

guy is an asshat! per OP he wanted kids then reality set in so he jumped. now he wants them to have his name, a literal branding that these are his kids. good for her as she will be there for them. the name game is crazy when it comes to marriage & kids. i didn't take my ex's name & was married for 32 yrs. my son has my name, not his although he is bio dad. my reasoning is too long to put here but it was never an issue w/my ex bc as he said, 'i'm on the birth certificate'. only issue was when my son went into service bc they said he had to have his name hyphenated. it's an ego issue for this guy and nothing else.

Someday I am going to see an article written professionally and the shock just might kill me. He wasn't upset that his wife named the children, he was upset that his ex girlfriend named the children. They were not married. They were engaged, that's another name for shacking up and never planning to really get married.

OHFUCKNO , he should NOT get any visitation or other "parental" rights, not even being married to that waste of atoms assholevirus dickweed+!!! Not my business/obviously her decision but that's what I would choose! Well, if he'd still have to pay child support somehow. Not sure exactly how that works tbh.

This is just one of what will be a series of situations where you will be the only reliable parent. I am a teacher. Some kids end up with a parent who drops in and out of their life. The child would be far better off if the parent either jumped into or out of their life for good. Whatever happens, be sure you remain the reliable parent.

I would not allow him to be alone with the kids. He sounds like the type that would do something to them just to hurt you.

...and you care what he thinks why?...OP, congrats on your new babies & get on w/ being a good mum. Please pursue Mr Wonderful for as much child support as possible- your kids will thank & respect you.

My sister changed her daughter's name to our last name and added our dead cousins name as a middle name. Her baby daddy contested the name change and woooo-boy, was that a fun courtroom to be in. The judge was having NONE of it. Baby daddy got stuck suckling air like a fish and his dad was one comment away from contempt of court. It's smart to keep records in case of further custody battles

Ok, afmedic85-PROVE IT. Take your time, fucktard asshat+.

The only thing it sounds like he wanted was to continue his name. He had a business trip and suddenly changed his mind? Apparently he got a taste of single life with no attachments and decided he preferred that. He wants little to do with these kids except name them. You're the one who's raising them, caring for them, providing for them. They don't need to know their father so don't use that excuse, they can decide for themselves when their older if they want a relationship with a man who shows very little care towards them as children. A friend of mine gave her child the last name of her boyfriend. He vanished 4 years ago, hasn't contacted them since (we know he's alive from acquaintances), when asked why she doesn't change his last name and she responded that she wants her son to have a connection to his father still. Why? The father doesn't care enough to even call on his sons birthday, why do you care this much.

Why even she has to ask the internet for this? You do what you want to do, no one and even the missing morron, coward sun of a b@@tch ,

My father and mother did not have the best of relationships. I was not a planned pregnancy. My father was bent on all his kids having the same first initial "D". My oldest brother and sister were named with D as their first initial. My father let my mother name my other brother because, as we found out later, he was our half-brother...not his. My mother was supposed to give birth to me while my father was away on an out of state job. He gave her instructions to name me Dawn. Instead, she named me Carol after my Aunt. Thanks mom! I hate when parents name all their kids that way. "Hi..these are our kids...Tabitha, Tommy, Theresa and Tucker....." *shudder*