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“My Parents Don’t Like Me”: 35 People Share The Most Hilariously Unfortunate Names They’ve Heard
Parents should work hard at choosing a name for their child. It can impact the baby's life well into adulthood, too.
"There is a reason why baby name books are extremely popular," said David Figlio, who at the time was the Orrington Lunt Professor and Dean of the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University.
"We're always trying to think about the first bit of a child's identity and so if we as a society pay a lot of attention to names it makes a lot of sense that people's names might influence how they think about themselves and the way in which people might think about them."
But things don't always go to plan. Researchers discovered that one in seven parents admit they made a "terrible mistake" with the name they chose for their child.
In an attempt to find out what they sound like, we discovered a thread on Reddit, started by a person who goes on the platform by the nickname PlsDontBanMe. They asked everyone "What name screams 'my parents don't like me?" and got over 4,000 answers.
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#1
There was a girl in my high school named Chastity.
She didn't even know why it was ironic when she got pregnant at 16.
RELATED:
#2
Met a girl called Constance Paine. Really had to wonder what her parents were thinking.
#4
Phelonie - that poor child.
#5
I know several.
Used to work in a jail and we had a regular inmate whose first and middle names, legally, were Baby Boy. Spring Green (first name, last name) also came in frequently.
My mom worked with a doctor…Doctor First…Doctor Safety First. But don’t worry, his parents didn’t just hate him - his sister was named Ladies.
#6
I had a neighbor with a little girl named Commodity. i dont think she disliked her kid, she was just really dumb.
#7
Abcde-supposedly pronounced Absidy. Some might remember that this made the news a few years back.
#8
I once met a little girl named Tilapia. I swear I’m not making this up.
#9
i knew three guys from school and their parents were a******s. parents had klan stuff up in their living room on display and everything. they gave all of their kids names that started with A, and middle names that started with S, so their full initials would be A.S.S. they thought it would be hilarious, and proudly commented on this often. needless to say i felt bad for those kids. who gives all three of their kids those initials, let alone one of them?
#10
Thurman Murman
#11
If their first name is the same as their last name.
William Williams, Michael Michaels, Daniel Daniels, Glen Glenn, John Johnson, etc.
#13
Anything ending in -aiden, using an "X" in place of "cks" (Jaxon vs Jackson), intentional misspelling of names, forcing the kid into a life of correcting the pronunciation of a name that is easy to pronounce when spelled normally, and really just anything stupid that they named a kid because it's "unique".
#15
I am the third of four boys My mother really wanted a girl and when she was pregnant with me she pinned all her hopes on me being a girl. This is before sonograms were common. When I came out a boy she named me Curt. Not Curtis or Kurt, Curt. Which means rude.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
You have to stretch at this one being a bad name. I've known a number of Curt's over the years and none of them have ever had an issue with the name.
#16
Gunner. Not Gunnar like the Scandinavian name, or Günther like the Germanic version, but Gunner like the English word for a person who is shooting at someone.
#17
Nevaeh
Lydsylou 1 year ago
It's a really sweet name I think I just don't like the fact that it's literally.heaven backwards.
Mabelbabel 1 year ago
What's wrong with name Heaven? Why does spelling it backwards make it a better first name? Heaven as a first name is quite pretty, although Valhalla would be even better.
GlitterPanda 1 year ago
That's just as bad as a kid I met named Alucard (Dracula spelled backwards)
Suby 1 year ago
First time I heard it I thought it was Nivea. Who names their kid after lotion?
Violet Smith 1 year ago
I actually met a woman named Nivea once. I had the same thought.
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Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
My sister's name is Navah (One version of Norman, our grandfather's name).
Roan The Demon Kitty 1 year ago (edited)
I had someone actually once try to tell me (a half Irish person) that it was the same as the name "Niamh" but with a different spelling. I told them to shove their dumb tragedeigh name up their a**e.
Wondering Alice 1 year ago
I've met a few, they are always trouble. Says something about the parents i think.
ReallyConfusedAboutEverything 1 year ago
I knew someone called nevaeh, everyone always called her neve
Definitely a Human 1 year ago
I've even seen a misspelling of this to be even more unique. Nevayah.
Stephanie Did It 1 year ago
I met a Neveah at our daycare and pronounced it as it's spelled: Ne-vey-ah. Was firmly corrected by the horrified mom. This little girl would quietly announce, from time to time, "I'm a real princess." Poor kid is doomed.
Violet Smith 1 year ago
I'm curious - how did the mom want it pronounced?
Load More Replies...
Eva-Katherine Smith 1 year ago
I've seen this name everywhere and I just can't pronounce it, can someone please help.
#18
Newt Gingrich.
Imagine having a baby, looking down into its precious face, and saying deadpan to the nurse, “Newt Gingrich. Put that on the birth certificate.”
#19
Going with Chinese dialect of Hokkien here..
Someone named their child "Siew Kia" which isn't a bad name or anything in the language/dialect.. but the family name was Yao (and in Chinese names, the family name comes first)
This made the poor sod "Yao Siew Kia" which meant "baby beast" (or small animal not in a good way and is used as a derogatory term and swear word in Hokkien)
Poor guy
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
I concur, because Hokkien is my mother tongue and the literal translation for Yao Siew Kia means "Demon child" aka naughty, nasty kid.
#20
“First Name” Junior never felt right with me. Feels narcissistic to name your child the same as yourself. It’s like he’s never gonna carve his own identity he’s always gonna be known as an extension-sequel of you
Igor914624 1 year ago
I am the fifth generation with the same name. It caused confusion with creditors and such for years. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It was really funny when the Army tried to digitize all the BUPERS files while I was in. Suddenly I had stuff on my service record from the battle of Gettysburg.
#23
Any name that's written using their syllabic pronunciation. I know of a kid whose name is Kahydiynn. Like what the f**k?
#24
Used to know a kid in school named Richard Ryder (Rider?) Not sure how the last name was spelled
#26
A boy named Sue.
NetworkMan 1 year ago
Ooof Goth Demon, go digging around online for Johnny Cash, you might get the reference. 'And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him... Bill or George! Any-damn-thing but Sue! I still hate that name!'
#28
When the firstname/lastname combination does not work for a name.
Prime example-- North West (Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's daughter). She's either named after a direction on a map or a defunct airline (as if Kimye would fly commercial).
#30
Mine. My first name has an "r" in it. Both of my patents needed speech therapy to say that letter. I COULDN'T SAY MY OWN F*****G NAME UNTIL F*****G HIGH SCHOOL!!! There's a reason I use my middle name. I genuinely think it was spite because I was an oopsie baby. Bullied relentlessly for years, including by my first ex and a famous comedian's nephew.
#31
Any name that is an alternative spelling or fake-Gaelic name.
Like “Jaxon” or “Graclyn.”
Kobe (she) 1 year ago
As long as it is not Jhackxsonn or Ghraeclynn , I don't have a big problem with that. Names and spelling evolve naturally. Image we would still spell our names like they did 500 or even 200 years ago...
#32
Last name was Hunt, and they still named him Michael. The poor kid.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
This sounds more like a Simpson's joke than something that really happened.
#33
My aunt swears that at the hospital a woman named her child A*****e pronounced A-sho-lee
#34
Any name intentionally given by parents that's a character from entertainment. Your kid is not a pet, car, boat, or bong.
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago
Very much depends on the name. That AITA a couple weeks ago about someone whose sister/SIL wanted to name their kid Luffy? Definitely not. People who named their kid Harry, Ron or Hermione after the Harry Potter books/movies? Not nearly as bad.
#35
A first name that rhymes with your last name.
What do you think ?
Trillian 1 year ago
When I think of all the time I spent choosing names for my kids: names that were not too popular but not extremely rare (because often rare names are rare for a reason, namely they are ugly), easy to spell, sounding good with their last name, not make stupid/offensive initials, and some parents are just: Eff that.
Kim 1 year ago
Right. The endless ”can my get get bullies for this name” seem to just be a challange to some parents
Load More Replies...
TOM HOLLAND 1 year ago
I go to school with a girl named Treasure. That's a fine name. But the girls last name. Is hunt. Her name is Treasure Hunt. And she always gets called to the office.
Louplou 1 year ago
Birth announcement in local paper was Holly Caust, I actually posted on fb at the time I was so flabbergasted!
Lydsylou 1 year ago
I present Nick Cannons kids: Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Moroccan, Monroe, Zion Mixolydian, Zillion Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Legendary Love, Onyx Ice, Zen, Halo Marie.
Lydsylou 1 year ago
Other mad celebrity kids names include: Apple and Genesis - Gwyneth Paltrow; Malibu Barbie - Trisha Paytas; Audio Science - Shannyn Sossaman; Kulture Kiari and Wave Set - Cardi B; Strummer Newcombe - Julia Styles; Wilde Wolf Fife Alexander - Maximilian Cooper; Blue Ivy, Sir and Rumi - Beyonce; Pilot Inspektor - Jason Lee; Denim and Diezel - Toni Braxton; Marmaduke and Huckleberry - Bear Grylls; North, Saint, Chicago, Psalm, Stormi, Aire, True, Tatum, Mason Dash, Penelope Scotland, Reign Aston, and Dream - various Kardashians ( I'll admit that a few are actually alright names); Row Renggli and Grey Oliver - Morgan Stewart; Lyra Antarctica - Ed Sheeran; Shanda Lear - Bill Lear; Rocket, Rebel, Rogue and Racer - Robert Rodriguez; Raddix Chloe Wildflower - Cameron Diaz; Rosalind Arushka Arkadina Altalune Florence - Uma Thurman; Mint - Romee Strijd; Kal El - Clark Kent; Bronx Mowgli - Ashlee Simpson; Seargeoh and Sage Moonblood- Sylvester Stallone; Gravity Blue, Slim Easy and Rumble Honey - Lucky Blue Smith; Olympia Lightning, Thunder, Saint Leo - Usain Bolt; Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie, Heavenly Hiraana Tiger Lily - Bob Geldoff; Oonagh - Amber Heard; Buddy Dessert - Brie Bella; Sno FilmOn Dot Com - Chief Keef; Ode Mountain - Jena Malone; Nakano Oceana - Wilmer Valderrama; Ever Imre, Onyx Solace and Winter Mercy - Alanis Morissette; Summer Moon Honey - Scheana shay; Shakira, Chosen Sebastian, Sovereign-Dior Cambella, Camidas Swain, Cashmere Saint and Caesar Lorenzo - Cam Newton; Osian Lark Elliot - Milla Jovovich; Prince Michael Jackson and Prince Michael Jackson the second - Michael Jackson
Load More Replies...
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago (edited)
Trashy names = trashy parents. Period. I would go no contact to try and not inherit their stupidity. Edit: wrote dads instead of parents.
Nancy Doughty 1 year ago
Once worked with a woman whose first name was Malaria. While working at the county jail, came across an arrest report with the offender's first name was Bastardo.
DC 1 year ago
Of all names big and small, those that use a creative orthography suck the most. Trashedeigh is, although certainly somewhat true to those named so, just not a name you want to read on your passport. It's a tragedy to your parents to have you ... ok, I get that many, if not even the majority of, children were conceived by accident, including me, and I'm ok with that ... but ... that's a tad above, huh? Ok, THAT name, I haven't read in this list, but still - I've read it. There are people who are ... so...
liam newton-harding 1 year ago
Captain Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache (1884-1917). The first Tollemache is pronounced differently from the second, as is the third, from the fourth.
DrBronxx 1 year ago
That's a not uncommon name in Japan, but in pronunciation only. Written down its Reiji.
Load More Replies... DrBronxx 1 year ago
My daughter has a name that is not necessarily common, but is well known, in my country. However, if you're from another country (for example, in the country where I currently live), it is difficult for people to pronounce if they read it, or spell it if they hear it. She is going to have trouble with it, but all of the people I know with names like that, they sometimes go through a period as a teenager when they don't like it, but they've *always* ended up liking that they have a name that is a bit different. I haven't tried to name her with some ridiculous name, but with a name that reminds her of her cultural heritage. She's going to grow up in my wife's country, and it's important to both my wife and I that she has as strong ties to my country as she can (until she grows up and decides on how strong she wants her ties to be).
Mila Preradović 1 year ago
In my (Slavic, south-east Europaean, absolutely non-english related) country, locally famous pop-singer named her baby boy Bloom. :o
Load More Replies... CD Mills 1 year ago
I have a common name with an odd spelling and was named when no one really spelled things 'creatively'. This led me to think that my teachers were all stupid because they couldn't spell my name correctly. I was around ten when I realized that my name was different than the normal spelling when I had thought before that my spelling was the right/correct/only way to spell my name. I never got a single personalized item as a child, my brother Jeff on the other hand... This was when 'personalized items' were whatever was in the bike plates, keyrings, and mugs in very pre-internet times.
Der Kommissar 1 year ago
As heard in Northern Calif. wine country; " Chardonnay, please don't do that "
Jeff (He/They) 1 year ago
I once saw a kid at the park named 'Anesthesia'. Not Anastasia, anesthesia..
Auntriarch 1 year ago
One of the first babies born to a mother offered anaesthetic was in fact called that
Load More Replies...
Yettichild 1 year ago
There were two brothers I went to high school with named Forest Pond and Sky Pond. I also had a Dr. Named Kimberly Iller so she was Dr. K. Iller
Der Kommissar 1 year ago
Knew two brothers named Lake Trout and River Trout
Load More Replies... Isa's left eye 1 year ago (edited)
I've seen many in my time: 4 brothers named Ezekiel, Zach, Zim, and ZOMBIE, Meth, Paysleigh, Nixon, and Princess-Aimee are a few
The CareTaker 1 year ago
To be fair my middle name is JAET, and it's said as JET, yet no one has ever had trouble saying it, although they have problems saying my first name a lot
athornedrose 1 year ago
knew a kid who's last name started with an 's', named paul michael. PMS for initials on a young boy is just as cruel as you think it is
Lex Sandberg 1 year ago
In Sweden we have laws what we can and can't name our children. It can't be a brand name or a name that can induce obvious bullying or disgrace (like Hitler or poo). It goes before a commitee and gets reviewd before accepted. And you have to do it before the child turns 9 months old otherwise you get a fine for every month beyond that. It happend to my sister. She and her husband could never agree on a name in time on any of their 4 children. Just continued to call the child baby lol.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
My second cousin’s last name is Dodger. His twin daughters, now pushing 40, are named Brook Lyn & Holly Wood. He knew damn well what he was doing and their birth announcements were miniature baseball bats with their names & vitals etched in.
Der Kommissar 1 year ago
Good thing he didn't name them Chavez or Ravine.
Load More Replies...
Kevin J. Henning 1 year ago
Meet the twins. Cliotus and Clitoria. They have a sister named Fallopia. This name thing is really going off the rails. Bring back "Bob!"
Der Kommissar 1 year ago (edited)
I once worked with a guy who loved Cadillacs. His wife got pregnant, so Eldorado if a boy, Seville if a girl,,,
Load More Replies...
Papa 1 year ago
I have a couple: a coworker whose last name is May married a young lady named April, so her full name was April May. And before my time there was a family near where I live with a bunch of girls, and no boys. They said toward the end they ran out of names so they started numbering them; the last two were named Ada and Nina.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
A month ago I took a cab and the name in his Id was River Ridge Mendez (can remember 2nd surename) We live in Perú, not in an english speaking country.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
I have a cousin with a surname for a given name. If a Chinese bloke introduces himself as Buchanan, he's my family.
Trillian 1 year ago
When I think of all the time I spent choosing names for my kids: names that were not too popular but not extremely rare (because often rare names are rare for a reason, namely they are ugly), easy to spell, sounding good with their last name, not make stupid/offensive initials, and some parents are just: Eff that.
Kim 1 year ago
Right. The endless ”can my get get bullies for this name” seem to just be a challange to some parents
Load More Replies... TOM HOLLAND 1 year ago
I go to school with a girl named Treasure. That's a fine name. But the girls last name. Is hunt. Her name is Treasure Hunt. And she always gets called to the office.
Louplou 1 year ago
Birth announcement in local paper was Holly Caust, I actually posted on fb at the time I was so flabbergasted!
Lydsylou 1 year ago
I present Nick Cannons kids: Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Moroccan, Monroe, Zion Mixolydian, Zillion Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Legendary Love, Onyx Ice, Zen, Halo Marie.
Lydsylou 1 year ago
Other mad celebrity kids names include: Apple and Genesis - Gwyneth Paltrow; Malibu Barbie - Trisha Paytas; Audio Science - Shannyn Sossaman; Kulture Kiari and Wave Set - Cardi B; Strummer Newcombe - Julia Styles; Wilde Wolf Fife Alexander - Maximilian Cooper; Blue Ivy, Sir and Rumi - Beyonce; Pilot Inspektor - Jason Lee; Denim and Diezel - Toni Braxton; Marmaduke and Huckleberry - Bear Grylls; North, Saint, Chicago, Psalm, Stormi, Aire, True, Tatum, Mason Dash, Penelope Scotland, Reign Aston, and Dream - various Kardashians ( I'll admit that a few are actually alright names); Row Renggli and Grey Oliver - Morgan Stewart; Lyra Antarctica - Ed Sheeran; Shanda Lear - Bill Lear; Rocket, Rebel, Rogue and Racer - Robert Rodriguez; Raddix Chloe Wildflower - Cameron Diaz; Rosalind Arushka Arkadina Altalune Florence - Uma Thurman; Mint - Romee Strijd; Kal El - Clark Kent; Bronx Mowgli - Ashlee Simpson; Seargeoh and Sage Moonblood- Sylvester Stallone; Gravity Blue, Slim Easy and Rumble Honey - Lucky Blue Smith; Olympia Lightning, Thunder, Saint Leo - Usain Bolt; Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie, Heavenly Hiraana Tiger Lily - Bob Geldoff; Oonagh - Amber Heard; Buddy Dessert - Brie Bella; Sno FilmOn Dot Com - Chief Keef; Ode Mountain - Jena Malone; Nakano Oceana - Wilmer Valderrama; Ever Imre, Onyx Solace and Winter Mercy - Alanis Morissette; Summer Moon Honey - Scheana shay; Shakira, Chosen Sebastian, Sovereign-Dior Cambella, Camidas Swain, Cashmere Saint and Caesar Lorenzo - Cam Newton; Osian Lark Elliot - Milla Jovovich; Prince Michael Jackson and Prince Michael Jackson the second - Michael Jackson
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago (edited)
Trashy names = trashy parents. Period. I would go no contact to try and not inherit their stupidity. Edit: wrote dads instead of parents.
Nancy Doughty 1 year ago
Once worked with a woman whose first name was Malaria. While working at the county jail, came across an arrest report with the offender's first name was Bastardo.
DC 1 year ago
Of all names big and small, those that use a creative orthography suck the most. Trashedeigh is, although certainly somewhat true to those named so, just not a name you want to read on your passport. It's a tragedy to your parents to have you ... ok, I get that many, if not even the majority of, children were conceived by accident, including me, and I'm ok with that ... but ... that's a tad above, huh? Ok, THAT name, I haven't read in this list, but still - I've read it. There are people who are ... so...
liam newton-harding 1 year ago
Captain Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache (1884-1917). The first Tollemache is pronounced differently from the second, as is the third, from the fourth.
DrBronxx 1 year ago
That's a not uncommon name in Japan, but in pronunciation only. Written down its Reiji.
Load More Replies... DrBronxx 1 year ago
My daughter has a name that is not necessarily common, but is well known, in my country. However, if you're from another country (for example, in the country where I currently live), it is difficult for people to pronounce if they read it, or spell it if they hear it. She is going to have trouble with it, but all of the people I know with names like that, they sometimes go through a period as a teenager when they don't like it, but they've *always* ended up liking that they have a name that is a bit different. I haven't tried to name her with some ridiculous name, but with a name that reminds her of her cultural heritage. She's going to grow up in my wife's country, and it's important to both my wife and I that she has as strong ties to my country as she can (until she grows up and decides on how strong she wants her ties to be).
Mila Preradović 1 year ago
In my (Slavic, south-east Europaean, absolutely non-english related) country, locally famous pop-singer named her baby boy Bloom. :o
Load More Replies... CD Mills 1 year ago
I have a common name with an odd spelling and was named when no one really spelled things 'creatively'. This led me to think that my teachers were all stupid because they couldn't spell my name correctly. I was around ten when I realized that my name was different than the normal spelling when I had thought before that my spelling was the right/correct/only way to spell my name. I never got a single personalized item as a child, my brother Jeff on the other hand... This was when 'personalized items' were whatever was in the bike plates, keyrings, and mugs in very pre-internet times.
Der Kommissar 1 year ago
As heard in Northern Calif. wine country; " Chardonnay, please don't do that "
Jeff (He/They) 1 year ago
I once saw a kid at the park named 'Anesthesia'. Not Anastasia, anesthesia..
Auntriarch 1 year ago
One of the first babies born to a mother offered anaesthetic was in fact called that
Load More Replies... Yettichild 1 year ago
There were two brothers I went to high school with named Forest Pond and Sky Pond. I also had a Dr. Named Kimberly Iller so she was Dr. K. Iller
Der Kommissar 1 year ago
Knew two brothers named Lake Trout and River Trout
Load More Replies... Isa's left eye 1 year ago (edited)
I've seen many in my time: 4 brothers named Ezekiel, Zach, Zim, and ZOMBIE, Meth, Paysleigh, Nixon, and Princess-Aimee are a few
The CareTaker 1 year ago
To be fair my middle name is JAET, and it's said as JET, yet no one has ever had trouble saying it, although they have problems saying my first name a lot
athornedrose 1 year ago
knew a kid who's last name started with an 's', named paul michael. PMS for initials on a young boy is just as cruel as you think it is
Lex Sandberg 1 year ago
In Sweden we have laws what we can and can't name our children. It can't be a brand name or a name that can induce obvious bullying or disgrace (like Hitler or poo). It goes before a commitee and gets reviewd before accepted. And you have to do it before the child turns 9 months old otherwise you get a fine for every month beyond that. It happend to my sister. She and her husband could never agree on a name in time on any of their 4 children. Just continued to call the child baby lol.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
My second cousin’s last name is Dodger. His twin daughters, now pushing 40, are named Brook Lyn & Holly Wood. He knew damn well what he was doing and their birth announcements were miniature baseball bats with their names & vitals etched in.
Der Kommissar 1 year ago
Good thing he didn't name them Chavez or Ravine.
Load More Replies... Kevin J. Henning 1 year ago
Meet the twins. Cliotus and Clitoria. They have a sister named Fallopia. This name thing is really going off the rails. Bring back "Bob!"
Der Kommissar 1 year ago (edited)
I once worked with a guy who loved Cadillacs. His wife got pregnant, so Eldorado if a boy, Seville if a girl,,,
Load More Replies... Papa 1 year ago
I have a couple: a coworker whose last name is May married a young lady named April, so her full name was April May. And before my time there was a family near where I live with a bunch of girls, and no boys. They said toward the end they ran out of names so they started numbering them; the last two were named Ada and Nina.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
A month ago I took a cab and the name in his Id was River Ridge Mendez (can remember 2nd surename) We live in Perú, not in an english speaking country.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
I have a cousin with a surname for a given name. If a Chinese bloke introduces himself as Buchanan, he's my family.
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