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Mom Asks If She’s Being Unreasonable For Thinking About ‘Canceling Christmas’ At Her In-Laws, So As To Not Disrupt Son’s Daily Routine
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Mom Asks If She’s Being Unreasonable For Thinking About ‘Canceling Christmas’ At Her In-Laws, So As To Not Disrupt Son’s Daily Routine

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Christmas is a festive period for bonding with friends and family, and leaving the stress of modern life behind. However, as one confession on the British parenting forum Mumsnet shows, sometimes it’s the get-together that’s causing tension.

In it, user HallieM93 explains that her main concern nowadays is her 20-month-old son’s sleeping troubles. The woman wants to protect her toddler’s routine from the chaos that sometimes comes with the joyous occasion.

However, that means changing the family’s plans and leaving her in-laws early, a move that, she believes, would disappoint both her relatives and partner.

This woman wants her family to have a nice Christmas, but she’s afraid that her toddler won’t be able to relax and get some rest

Image credits: J carter

So she wants to cut short the visit at their in-laws

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Image credits: Liza Summer

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Image credits: HallieM93

The mom’s worries are understandable. Toddlers should be getting 11 to 14 hours of sleep a day. It’s how the little ones grow! Typically, they collect all those z’s through a combo of two one- to two-hour naps during the day (or one longer afternoon nap as they near age 2) and a solid 10 to 11 1/2 hours at night. Many toddlers drop from two naps to one between 12 and 18 months, but some do not until they’re 2.

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Most tots sleep best when they’re tucked into bed by 7:30 or 8 p.m. at the latest. Turning in on the early side ensures that they have the opportunity to log the number of sleep hours she needs to feel well-rested (especially since many parents can expect a wake-up call between 6 and 7 am). Although, young kids who go to bed before 9 p.m. tend to fall asleep faster and wake up less often during the night.

Not all toddlers experience a sleep regression (struggles with their positive habits) similar to that of OP’s son, but many do. Toddler sleep regression generally occurs between 18 months and 2 years of age, although the exact timing can be different for each child. The good thing is that most of these cases last for only a few weeks at a time, and it’s likely that pretty soon the little one will start sleeping through the night again.

The most common causes of these problems include going through big life changes, such as potty training or a new sibling, fears and night terrors, and separation anxiety.

Experts say that a set bedtime routine is one of the best ways to help toddlers sleep better; doing the same things in the same order every night helps teaches them what to expect and calm down. So if this woman believes that at this point, such measures are needed, is she really being unreasonable? Tell us what you think in the comments below.

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The mom elaborated on her concerns as her post gained traction

And the reactions were mixed; some said she is actually being unreasonable

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While others thought she’s free to put her child’s well-being first

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones saying YABU obviously have never cared for a child with developmental/intellectual disabilities. You don't just "get on with it". This mom is being very considerate of her family by considering what's best for everyone and her child's safety. There's always next year to try again. Why subject the whole family into a stressful situation just so her and her baby are present? She can post gifts, cards and do Christmas portraits to send out to the family. There's always an alternative solution. It's sad she felt she would feel selfish for being a responsible mother and make decisions based on maternal instincts.

Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an autistic adult, with autonomy and a fair amount of control over my environment to prevent things like sensory overload, and Christmas always causes me to meltdown and/or be out of commission for a fortnight afterwards, given the sheer amount of noise, socialising, and pre-Xmas stress. A few hours' afternoon visit definitely seems the smarter option here.

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Stephaniep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Christmas at multiple houses and overnights in New places with a toddler is HELL we did it once and then decided we would never do it again. No overnights, only visit one set of family, and see the other set another day. It's been so much better for all of us

Mad Dragon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A few Christmases after our daughter was born, my husband and I made the decision that our Christmas was going to be spent just us at our house. It was too much to try to coordinate all the visits to multiple families on Christmas Day, and it took a lot away from our enjoyment of the holiday. So now, we visit family on Christmas Eve or the day after (and video chat on Christmas), but Christmas Day for our little family is spent enjoying our family.

Load More Comments
StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones saying YABU obviously have never cared for a child with developmental/intellectual disabilities. You don't just "get on with it". This mom is being very considerate of her family by considering what's best for everyone and her child's safety. There's always next year to try again. Why subject the whole family into a stressful situation just so her and her baby are present? She can post gifts, cards and do Christmas portraits to send out to the family. There's always an alternative solution. It's sad she felt she would feel selfish for being a responsible mother and make decisions based on maternal instincts.

Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an autistic adult, with autonomy and a fair amount of control over my environment to prevent things like sensory overload, and Christmas always causes me to meltdown and/or be out of commission for a fortnight afterwards, given the sheer amount of noise, socialising, and pre-Xmas stress. A few hours' afternoon visit definitely seems the smarter option here.

Load More Replies...
Stephaniep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Christmas at multiple houses and overnights in New places with a toddler is HELL we did it once and then decided we would never do it again. No overnights, only visit one set of family, and see the other set another day. It's been so much better for all of us

Mad Dragon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A few Christmases after our daughter was born, my husband and I made the decision that our Christmas was going to be spent just us at our house. It was too much to try to coordinate all the visits to multiple families on Christmas Day, and it took a lot away from our enjoyment of the holiday. So now, we visit family on Christmas Eve or the day after (and video chat on Christmas), but Christmas Day for our little family is spent enjoying our family.

Load More Comments
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