I was 17 went I left home for college. The night before I moved into the dorms, I was terribly distraught and tearful. Before this, I'd never been away from home for more than a week. My mom held me and rocked me! I love that memory. (And FYI, I was almost 6 feet tall -- but not too big for cuddles!)

I don't care how old my son is, if he needs a hug and I have arms he will get a goddam hug

At least the mother is trying to make things right, and she listened to people's opinions about it. That part makes me fairly happy ^^

My mother did this to me when I was about 15 years old. Never forgave her, and I shut off even more than I was already doing. For me, it's definitely a core memory. And not a good one at all.

So. You tell her she is too old for cuddling, nad then you try to force-cuddle her as a hug for goodnight? How f*****g stuoid are you? Children have needs and right, you just wave your "I'm a parent and you do as I say" - wand as everyone else who should think twice before having children. Can't you see your double standards here?

I'll be 56 this year, mom passed away in 2019, and I wish I could cuddle with her just one more time.

She did get this wrong, but she’s not an AH. This is absolutely fixable with an apology and hugs

Oh, poor kid. This will prob stay with her forever no matter how much the mum tries to make up for it. Why could ahe have consulted anyone if she was that worried inatead of rejecting her daughters need for love and cuddle.

I'd rather have a close bond with my daughter, with lots of motherly daughterly affection than a cold, unfeeling, tense relationship I have with my own mom. The choice is up to the parent. But each petty decision may take a long time to undo.

The trauma from being rejected by your own Mother for wanting love at this age is usually hard to come back from. I hope she posts an update to let us know how or if her daughter received her apology and her "extra cuddles and kisses". And I am so lucky my 69 year old Mother allows me to clobber her with hugs and love. As a matter a fact, I ran to hug my aunt a few days ago when she was visiting my Mom too. I'm 45 BTW lol! I gave her the biggest kiss on her head too. And my oldest Son, at 19, still climbs on my lap and manages to snuggle up to my arms and I eat it all up! One day he won't come around too much or will be busy with a gf so I take full advantage! Also, having a younger, Autistic Son makes me realize how important all this love is because unfortunately my youngest doesn't show affection all that often. But when and if he does show it, I welcome it as well with lots of excitement!

Yep!!! I agree with everyone here on everything. Your probably one of the biggest AH I've read about on any post I've read. That was me when i was younger. Being denied affection. It didn't turn out well. Long story short, I turned to violence. I became mean. I rejected any affection like that, all due to a parent rejecting me. It took a long time to get over it, and I'm still not over it. It's a core memory that told me I wasn't worthy of affection. I still have issues with this and still turn to fighting to justify this. I have kids, and I never deny them this type of affection. I'm never mean, or disrespect them. I still to this day, when he needs it, snuggle my oldest boy, and he is pretty masculine. But he loves it. As long as my kids want snuggles, they'll get snuggles. And just to clarify something, I'm a man, who loves his children with all my heart. So I truly hope your happy with your decision as a mother. This might not be fixable. I hope you don't take this the wrong way.

It absolutely blows my mind that OP didn't think to research this, reach out to her community, or talk to a therapist/doctor/child psychologist about this to see if she was doing the right thing before telling her kid to "get off" of her. Not ONCE did she consider what her actions might do to her kid. Blazing AH. I'd be shocked if her kid hasn't permanently lost trust in her after this. And showering her kid with affection now might be unwise. I'd not want the contact and we shouldn't normalize love bombing. Cuddles with your kid are a PRIVILEGE which she may revoke at any time. Think about that the next time you go to do or say something hurtful to her because you think she isn't meeting some arbitrary standard for maturity (set by a rugged individualism style society that takes health kids and turns them into damaged, isolated adults.) Owning your mistake+trying to minimize the damage is your only hope, but make sure to respect any boundaries set by your kid.

My kids are 16 and 20. I would commit CRIMES to get them to cuddle me.

GOOD for that kid, maybe she should have never talked to you again! I am a 7'4 36-year-old man, and my Tiny sickly 5'1 mom still has me curl up by her and lay in "cuddle" in her lap, out of her 3 kids, I'm the only one that does it, A mom telling there child there too "big" for any kind of affection or "love" is just pure evilly wrong....I had lost my real mother to a bullet right in front of me, You know Im never never gonna miss a moment to hug this mom

You're never too old. I'm 40 and still cuddle my mum, that woman sounds awful. Who in earth deprives their child of affection?

You are never too old for hugs and kisses from your loved ones. I still hug both of my parents and I am 37 years old. I hug all of my family. Age doesn't affect love. Like someone else said, she should be happy that her preteen daughter wants anything to do with her, let alone cuddle with her. This will be a core memory, but hopefully she can make things right.

My mum did this to me when I was that age. I was "too big" to be shown affection etc. That messed me up for years. As an adult, I bristle when people touch me. Please apologize to your baby and give her a hug.

i'm over 40 and still cuddle with my mum lol

........I'm 26 and I still cuddle with my mother because I'm a human? We're social creatures and she literally gave birth to me and we're very close? Too old for cuddles isn't a thing.

I sat on my Nana's lap into my late teens. Since she's been gone, I'm no longer comfortable with physical affection, as only she & I were that sort in my family.

Not an ah, just the worst parent ever. As an adult with a similar experience, you will never know the damage you have done to her. Great job mom

Not an a$$hole but definitely made the wrong choice. Never push your kids away.

Yeah she's the ah lol tbh, maybe I'm not the one to talk about it because in my case my parents were never that affectionate with my siblings and I to begin with. I guess they saved themselves and us the "you're too old for this" moment, and the result is that now I'm not a very touchy person and I get uncomfortable with that kind of contact from other people. But if my parents were actually the cuddly kind and one day they just told me that I'm too old I'd feel very bad and ashamed, and I even fear this girl will have even bigger problems from now on than if they never allowed her to cuddle in the first place.

My daughter is 15 (almost 16) when we are sitting down on the couch, she still cuddles or holds my hand. Sometimes when we are out, she will hold my hand as well. I use a wheelchair now and honestly, I think sometimes she does it to let me know I'm okay. I will hold her hand and cuddle until the day I die. I wouldn't ever want to think of a day being the last time.

When I was 11, my mom was pregnant with my younger brother. She was and still is, a huge cuddler. She invented what she called "the nest." She'd lie on the couch, and we'd get into the space created by her legs. Her kids are too big for this, but her grandkids like it now.

"My daughter isn't old enough to know if she's straight or not" trust me, she is.

She is a mom, she is also a human. She made a mistake and try to make amend, as it should be! And yup, 27 and still cuddle with my parents and siblings! I remember I was in a dark state of mind for some times around 22, could still climb in bed with my mom for comfort!

NEVER NEVER too old for cuddles. Poor kid! :-(

Once I was at a party where there was a lot of Moms and their kids. As per usual the Moms were all together talking and the kids were running around playing. One tween came by to touch base with her Mom and briefly sat on her lap and hugged her. After her daughter left, I said to the Mom how lucky she was to still have that with her daughter. My daughter had cut me off long ago. A few other Moms chimed in their agreement with me. The Mom blushed and was so thankful she still had a kid who wanted to touch her.

What a Sh***y parent. Seriously.

I am in my late 40's. My mother and I have had strained relations at times. Even now, I will climb up on the bed with her and rest my head next to hers and just talk or watch tv. Just being present with her. I could not imagine not being able to be close to my folks. Hugging my dad is one of the most incredibly comforting things in my life. I believe its their ability to show love and warmth that has made me the caring person I am today.

My daugther is 17 and always comes up in my lap for cuddles when she is a bit tired or sad. She is the lovliest- I never did that with my mom and I count myself lucky

This one hits me hard. As a young girl growing up my Mum had untreated postpartum for years. I have no memories of cuddling her at all as a child or teen. I now have an 11 year old daughter who loves cuddles from me and her Dad and I'm never ever going to tell her to stop.

27 here and I'll gladly take cuddles from my mother. I'm actually autistic and she's one of the only people allowed to hug me besides very few other people including my wife and my sister. You're never too old for affection from your parents.

There comes a *size* where how you approach it may need to change because you could hurt someone flopping into their lap. But the actual act is incredibly benign and this was a weird boundary to put up.

I’m jealous of the people who jump on their dad’s lap for hugs as adults. My parents didn’t hug me, we shook hands before bed at night. Physical affection still makes me uncomfortable, as much as I want it.

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Definitely could have handled it better. Although cuddling to a degree isn't bad despite one's age, this sounds like a red flag, and she should probably see a therapist just in case there's an underlying reason..