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“That Child Was So Scared”: Woman Hits Her Daughter’s Bully’s Mom In Front Of Her Child To Make Sure They Don’t Do It Again
Being bullied is not a fun feeling, but what’s even worse is when someone doesn’t believe you or nobody defends you. It happens a lot at schools when bullies don’t get punished and are just allowed to continue their behavior.
But this mom who was bullied herself was not allowing the same to happen to her children and when she went to meet her daughter’s bully’s mom, she wasn’t hesitant to become physical and threatened to do it again in front of the student who didn’t leave her child alone even if it wasn’t right.
More info: TikTok
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A video of a mom went viral as she told her experience of confronting her daughter’s bully’s mom with physical violence
Image credits: glacier_heart
Naquavia Brown has 95.2k followers on TikTok and shares various videos of her participating in viral trends, dancing, telling stories and showing her kids, mostly her daughter. Turns out that the teen that frequently shows herself on the account was being bullied at school and the mom just recently found out.
The daughter first went to her dad as she knew that her mom would have a “different” reaction. But the dad wasn’t going to hide such a thing and told Naquavia what was going on, and her first instinct was to meet with the bully and their parent.
The woman shared her interaction with the mom on TikTok and it went viral with 4.8M views, probably because nobody expected to hear about physical violence in a conversation concerning bullying. Not only did it go viral on TikTok, but it blew up on Twitter as well when user Jasmine K. shared it.
The mom recently found out her daughter was being bullied at school and arranged a meeting with the student and the parent
Image credits: naquaviabrown
What happened was that the bully’s mom started saying, “Are we really in here arguing about a bald-headed little—” and wasn’t given an opportunity to finish her sentence when Naquavia, horrified at the mom’s comment on her daughter’s appearance regarding her alopecia, “popped her.”
Then the TikToker turned to her daughter’s bully and threatened to beat her mother every day if the student ever bothers her daughter again. It seems that the solution worked as the daughter never complained about unfair treatment anymore, although we are always told that violence is never the answer.
This led the mom to believe that this is a good way to solve the problem and gave other parents advice: “Y’all have to start beating up parents in front of their children so that the children know to leave people alone because their mama can’t help them.”
The bully’s parent wasn’t taking it seriously and was going to demean her daughter when Naquavia slapped her
Image credits: naquaviabrown
In a follow-up video, Naquavia responded with a stitch to some other TikTokers calling her a bully and saying they were sorry for her daughter. The videos are not available anymore, but the mom’s response still is.
In that video, she expresses that she wasn’t wrong for what she did and even the police didn’t arrest her or put her in jail. In fact, she believes that the bully’s mom should be arrested for knowing her child is a bully and allowing this behavior to continue.
The woman has three children and she feels that it’s her responsibility to stand up for them because she remembers how she was bullied for years and nobody cared enough to do something even after she tried to take her own life multiple times.
Turning to the child, she said that she will do it again if the bullying won’t stop
Image credits: naquaviabrown
Parents including physical violence when they are trying to solve a conflict is not usual and feels wrong as you wouldn’t teach your child to be violent. But could this behavior be justified? Violence doesn’t come only in its physical form and you are allowed to defend yourself, matching the level with the other person according to Andrea Borghini, who has a Ph.D. in philosophy. He shares his perspective on ThoughtCo.
He says that “The most plausible justification of violence is when it is perpetrated in return of other violence.” And in mild versions, “to a punch you may be legitimate to respond with a punch; yet, to mobbing (a form of psychological, verbal violence, and institutional), you are not justified in replying with a punch (a form of physical violence).”
But if it’s not a mild version, “in the name of self-defense, violence of any kind may be justified in reply to the violence of any other kind, provided there is a somewhat fair use of the violence exercised in self-defense.” So the question is if the bully’s mom words were cruel enough to justify the violent reaction?
Image credits: naquaviabrown
Although the philosopher would justify violence in some scenarios, but Miranda Banks, a performance psychologist, never recommends violence because more often than not it escalates the situation.
She told Bored Panda that “It ends up in the place where the biggest/strongest is likely to win. Or the one with the weapon. Whilst it is undeniable that the threat of violence can be enough to keep actors from acting (see the case argued for keeping nuclear weapons), it is a far riskier strategy than others.”
Another thing to consider here as well is the legal issue of assault. The psychologist added, “I’m not sure that the little girl would feel so good if her mom were charged with assault.” But this wouldn’t be the only thing to affect the teen in such a situation.
Although Miranda believes that the girl’s first reaction was relief and she was thankful for her mom defending her, “The problem is that the mom didn’t teach her little girl how the little girl could win battles – other than to ask her mom. That’s not building resilience or independence or effective problem-solving strategies. It’s employing a ‘goon’ to fight your battles. It just happens to be mom in this case.”
Overall, the expert believes that the way the mom handled the situation was wrong, “Children look to adults as role models for how to live. If violence is enacted or condoned, then another child grows up believing that violence is the best answer to a problem.”
This was what it took to make the bullying stop and Naquavia advises others to take the same actions
Image credits: naquaviabrown
You can listen to the mom telling her experience in the video below
@naquaviabrown Who was wrong in the situation #fyp ♬ original sound – Naquavia Brown
Miranda doesn’t agree with the method that the mom chose to defend her daughter, but she does understand her, “My heart goes out to both the little girl and her mom, despite my comments on her mom’s attack on the bully’s mom. It looks like the little girl’s mom simply didn’t know what else to do to stop the situation. This is a lack of education for how to effectively tackle bullying behaviour. I fully understand the mom wishing to protect her little girl. Absolutely totally get it.”
Understanding someone doesn’t mean you agree with their actions, “What is evident is the need for effective education for how to tackle bullying for both children and adults. If not, violence escalates; becomes vengeful… and boundaries can be crossed in moments when emotions run high with consequences that no one would wish for.”
Most people both in Naquavia’s TikTok comments and in the Twitter thread thought that the mom was justified in this situation and only few saw wrong in the woman’s actions. They were on the mom’s side because in their experience, sometimes it’s the only thing that works and the only thing that leads to some kind of change. Others considered the mom’s reaction to be assault and were weirded out about her threatening a child. They also added that an adult should have more self-control.
We would like to hear your thoughts. Was the mom right for using the method she did to stop her daughter from being bullied? Do you think her reaction was too strong and there was no need to put her hands on another person? Let us know in the comments.
People in the comments were impressed with how the mom stood up for her daughter and considered it to be appropriate given the situation
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What do you think ?
Peppy Piplup 2 years ago (edited)
At the risk of getting my account suspended, but does anyone else feel disturbed about a grown woman threatening a child like that? Edit: Oh, never mind. I thought I was going to get downvoted for this comment.
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
Assault and battery is assault and battery, no matter whether or not OP’s child was getting bullied. It is illegal. OP should get arrested for punching the other kid’s mom. It doesn’t matter how badly her child was getting bullied, OP escalated the situation to violence, and that makes her a criminal. We should not be applauding and lauding a person who responds to words with violence. What lesson did her little girl learn? It’s okay to hit people and physically hurt them if you don’t like what they say. Reacting with violence makes you just as bad, if not worse, than the bullies.
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Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago
This is not the society I want to live in. We need to have peaceable means actually work.
Sherman Von Gee 2 years ago
But you're cool living in a society where kids are being tortured by other kids on a daily basis n the parents of that child are condoning it? I'm not saying she handled it perfectly. But honestly... I am so sick of these stories. I'm sick of hearing stories about children LITERAL CHILDREN taking their own lives because of bullying. I'm sick of seeing kids lives get ruined by bullies. I'm sick of seeing schools not do s**t about it. I was bullied so bad I had to change schools. I got to my new school n within a year 6 more students from my old school transferred ALL BECAUSE OF THE SAME 3 GIRLS BULLYING Them! Before we left the first school My parents tried to do a mediation w/ the school n the families of the girls but the parents defended their kids n denied they'd ever do such a thing. The school backed up those kids. All of the kids who left including myself were on financial aid too. The bullies were all rich a*s kids who were spoiled as f**k (1/2)
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ZeroCapacity 2 years ago
I have a couple issues with this, one being this lady went on the internet and confessed to assault. This has to be one of the dumbest things I have heard in a long time. The second was an "adult", and I use the term for lack of a better one, basically threatend a child and then bragged about it. Yeah I get her child was bwing bullied, but that is no excuse to threaten a child. This person belongs in front of a judge and possibly jailed, not just for societies safety but her own child's safety as well.
Jared Johnson 2 years ago
It's always so easy to criticize when you're standing on the outside. The more unheard you are/feel, the more you'll escalate. School did nothing. The bully's mother talks c**p about her kid. In my book, as a parent, whatever the charge in front of the law, I'll wear it with a freaking badge of honor. As parents, you set boundaries for your children. If you don't, someone else will now or later, and odds are you're not going to like them neither is it going to be pretty. Violence is never the solution is such a c**p thing lol. Why are the poor Ukrainians even fighting then? When violence is what you speak, violence is the only thing you'll understand. Sure what she did may be illegal, but I'll never equate legality with what's ethical or what's right.
Load More Replies...
Peppy Piplup 2 years ago (edited)
At the risk of getting my account suspended, but does anyone else feel disturbed about a grown woman threatening a child like that? Edit: Oh, never mind. I thought I was going to get downvoted for this comment.
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
Assault and battery is assault and battery, no matter whether or not OP’s child was getting bullied. It is illegal. OP should get arrested for punching the other kid’s mom. It doesn’t matter how badly her child was getting bullied, OP escalated the situation to violence, and that makes her a criminal. We should not be applauding and lauding a person who responds to words with violence. What lesson did her little girl learn? It’s okay to hit people and physically hurt them if you don’t like what they say. Reacting with violence makes you just as bad, if not worse, than the bullies.
Load More Replies... Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago
This is not the society I want to live in. We need to have peaceable means actually work.
Sherman Von Gee 2 years ago
But you're cool living in a society where kids are being tortured by other kids on a daily basis n the parents of that child are condoning it? I'm not saying she handled it perfectly. But honestly... I am so sick of these stories. I'm sick of hearing stories about children LITERAL CHILDREN taking their own lives because of bullying. I'm sick of seeing kids lives get ruined by bullies. I'm sick of seeing schools not do s**t about it. I was bullied so bad I had to change schools. I got to my new school n within a year 6 more students from my old school transferred ALL BECAUSE OF THE SAME 3 GIRLS BULLYING Them! Before we left the first school My parents tried to do a mediation w/ the school n the families of the girls but the parents defended their kids n denied they'd ever do such a thing. The school backed up those kids. All of the kids who left including myself were on financial aid too. The bullies were all rich a*s kids who were spoiled as f**k (1/2)
Load More Replies... ZeroCapacity 2 years ago
I have a couple issues with this, one being this lady went on the internet and confessed to assault. This has to be one of the dumbest things I have heard in a long time. The second was an "adult", and I use the term for lack of a better one, basically threatend a child and then bragged about it. Yeah I get her child was bwing bullied, but that is no excuse to threaten a child. This person belongs in front of a judge and possibly jailed, not just for societies safety but her own child's safety as well.
Jared Johnson 2 years ago
It's always so easy to criticize when you're standing on the outside. The more unheard you are/feel, the more you'll escalate. School did nothing. The bully's mother talks c**p about her kid. In my book, as a parent, whatever the charge in front of the law, I'll wear it with a freaking badge of honor. As parents, you set boundaries for your children. If you don't, someone else will now or later, and odds are you're not going to like them neither is it going to be pretty. Violence is never the solution is such a c**p thing lol. Why are the poor Ukrainians even fighting then? When violence is what you speak, violence is the only thing you'll understand. Sure what she did may be illegal, but I'll never equate legality with what's ethical or what's right.
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