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New Mom Complains About MIL Not Buying A Car Seat On Her Own Dime, Gets A Reality Check Online
One great part of being close with your extended family is the ability to use them as free childcare, particularly if both parents are working. But it’s important to understand that free help doesn’t mean that you now have on-call servants.
A woman asked the internet if she was wrong for refusing to buy her MIL a car seat after she enlisted her to drive around her newborn. Despite her husband offering to find and deliver the car seat, the woman insisted her MIL do it herself. Netizens were quick to call her out for her behavior.
RELATED:
Getting family to help you babysit is nothing new
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But one mom wanted her MIL to drive her baby while refusing to buy her a car seat
Image credits: Erik Mclean / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Reddit
Image credits: Lina Kivaka / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Childcare can be expensive and hard to find
For those who are not familiar with car safety rules, the mother is not talking about a literal car seat. This is something most cars come equipped with. A child safety seat is something that is specifically designed for infants and kids of various ages. For infants and toddlers in particular, this sort of equipment is absolutely mandatory.
So the mother, for some reason, insisting on maintaining her dubious, moral high ground over this topic is beyond entitled. Yes, it would be more convenient if the MIL simply used the existing seat, but this means a constant juggling of it. Even if the other grandmother does most of the babysitting, there is no doubt that the MIL will end up looking after the child again.
As so many commenters noted, this mom is getting not one but two basically free nannies. Not only does she have a trusted person to perform childcare, but this trusted person even has a backup. This even includes a backup car and driver. Most parents, particularly of a newborn, would kill for this sort of opportunity. Looking after a child, driving it around and all the other tasks are by no means easy, this is why a stay-at-home parent can be considered a full time job.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The mom seems to want to pick a fight over nothing
Instead, this mom is willing to give up an entire caretaker and instigate an argument with her husband over the fact that she won’t buy a car seat. It’s clearly not a question of money, the husband seems ready and willing to buy one. After all, as so many readers noted, free childcare is very valuable.
This mom would no doubt “make back” the cost of this car seat in free childcare. Getting this seat is an investment and it creates a decent amount of flexibility for the future. Being antagonistic over some sort of misguided pride is an ugly and short sighted. Having family in your life, willing to help is worth its weight in gold. Maybe it comes with some additional stress and strings attached, but free is free.
After all, at some point, the grandmother might be busy or incapacitated. Setting aside the fact that “using” your parents for free childcare can be questionable, if they are willing, then why not. This mom needs to understand that the vast majority of the population has absolutely no interest in looking after your kids, so you should cherish and support those who do. Parenting is a wild ride, so it can always be useful to have some help.
Most readers thought she was absolutely in the wrong
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What do you think ?
lenka 7 months ago
Wow. We only ever asked family to baby sit on rare occasions, like weddings or our anniversary. Even then, we always supplied everything the baby needed. Car seat, bed, pram, bottles food etc. It should never be the responsibility of the babysitter to provide those things. I can see why the MIL in this case does not want to babysit.
Alexandra 7 months ago
Perhaps unpopular, but I am of the firm opinion that, if you decide to have children, you should not count on other people (grandparents) helping you out on a regular basis. Every once in a while is okay, but not, as I see with some, 2 days a week every week. Why? Because such an arrangement quickly turns into an obligation and an obligation has the nasty habit of taking away any joy you found previously in doing what now has become a chore and let's face it, if the grandparents are not that young anymore, looking after a young child can be exhausting. Of course if grandparents volunteer, that's entirely different, but you should never take their help for granted. Some say that it takes a village to raise a child, but that argument is often used by those who want to lay claim to someone else's time and effort. A child is primarily the responsibility of the parents; the parents bring up the child.
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SillyPandaBunny 7 months ago
The level of entitlement is shattering any records previously held. She had a 78 year old babysitting? She thinks it’s ok to not pay her and make her pay for the car seat and now she wants the MIL to do the same? You should really need a license to have children. The husband is also the AH, how does he not know the model of the car seat for his own child? I can’t believe her comment that it’s ok because it’s the happiest the grandma has ever been. This entitled mom sounds like a nightmare. I hope she’s using birth control now.
LadyHermit 7 months ago
License, psychological exam.... the whole shebang, you're so right. It's entitled parents like her who perpetuate her species and makes other people dread parenthood.
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MaggieMay85 7 months ago
Obviously MIL doesn’t feel comfortable with putting in the car seat and taking it out. If she really didn’t want a car seat, when you offer to get one, she would decline. When MIL dropped off the kid, why didn’t parents grab the car seat? OP just hates her MIL. I think it just comes down to that.
Amused panda 7 months ago
Exactly. Unless MIL dropped the kid of with the grandma, and neither were comfortable removing the seat it doesn't make sense. Especially since she claims MIL doesn't want to keep any baby stuff in her house or car, you'd think she would have been eager to wait a couple of minutes for one of the parents to remove the car seat from her vehicle.
Load More Replies... lenka 7 months ago
Wow. We only ever asked family to baby sit on rare occasions, like weddings or our anniversary. Even then, we always supplied everything the baby needed. Car seat, bed, pram, bottles food etc. It should never be the responsibility of the babysitter to provide those things. I can see why the MIL in this case does not want to babysit.
Alexandra 7 months ago
Perhaps unpopular, but I am of the firm opinion that, if you decide to have children, you should not count on other people (grandparents) helping you out on a regular basis. Every once in a while is okay, but not, as I see with some, 2 days a week every week. Why? Because such an arrangement quickly turns into an obligation and an obligation has the nasty habit of taking away any joy you found previously in doing what now has become a chore and let's face it, if the grandparents are not that young anymore, looking after a young child can be exhausting. Of course if grandparents volunteer, that's entirely different, but you should never take their help for granted. Some say that it takes a village to raise a child, but that argument is often used by those who want to lay claim to someone else's time and effort. A child is primarily the responsibility of the parents; the parents bring up the child.
Load More Replies... SillyPandaBunny 7 months ago
The level of entitlement is shattering any records previously held. She had a 78 year old babysitting? She thinks it’s ok to not pay her and make her pay for the car seat and now she wants the MIL to do the same? You should really need a license to have children. The husband is also the AH, how does he not know the model of the car seat for his own child? I can’t believe her comment that it’s ok because it’s the happiest the grandma has ever been. This entitled mom sounds like a nightmare. I hope she’s using birth control now.
LadyHermit 7 months ago
License, psychological exam.... the whole shebang, you're so right. It's entitled parents like her who perpetuate her species and makes other people dread parenthood.
Load More Replies... MaggieMay85 7 months ago
Obviously MIL doesn’t feel comfortable with putting in the car seat and taking it out. If she really didn’t want a car seat, when you offer to get one, she would decline. When MIL dropped off the kid, why didn’t parents grab the car seat? OP just hates her MIL. I think it just comes down to that.
Amused panda 7 months ago
Exactly. Unless MIL dropped the kid of with the grandma, and neither were comfortable removing the seat it doesn't make sense. Especially since she claims MIL doesn't want to keep any baby stuff in her house or car, you'd think she would have been eager to wait a couple of minutes for one of the parents to remove the car seat from her vehicle.
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