I have a hard time seeing going through a closet in a designated guest room as 'snooping'. Isn't that where guests can keep their stuff?

my bio mom did this when we had our condo. she bought a bed for it and dresser and everything. then we got pregnant and that bed was the first thing to go bc we had to have a crib and changing table. pretty sure she was hella salty we decided to have a kid before she ever got to stay in the room

I’d repurpose the room. Home office with a daybed. Plant room. Or redecorated in a style that you know she would hate

I agree with the people who say you should repurpose the room into something else, maybe a real office or workout room. Put enough stuff in it so the room does not in any way resemble a guest room. I definitely see mom planning to move in at some point.

You’re fortunate that your mom is still here. Maybe just ignore her words

It seems to me that most people have a crappy relationship with their parents and are ridiculously petty. I would love to have my parents visit and I will tell them myself; "That is your room".

Either there isn't enough context or the daughter is just being over dramatic. Nothing in this to indicate it's not just banter.

I think overall we need more context on the relationship. Almost nothing in the world is black and white. With very little to go on it seems like the daughter is overreacting HOWEVER since she has mentioned there is a history of her mother stepping on her personal boundaries, there IS clearly a deeper story. So it would be wrong to consider this an isolated incident. I'm inclined to say the mother is wrong simply because she was asked not to call it that and still does... that's a boundary crossed regardless of whatever is going on.

I agree with OP. I had same issues with my mother in law. She claimed a room in my house. Even openly spoke about having the empty bedroom next to it to convert into living room for herself. When my daughter's would come to stay from other states, she'd ask me if they were using 'her room's. I always said of course they are. I might add, we have a 5 bedroom house, since girls left home we ended up with 4 spare bedrooms. One of which I turned into a craft sewing room. We still have 3 rooms if family visit or want to stay over. No way was I giving into mother in law. I don't have her over at all now unless my husband is at home. She even took it upon herself to drive out to visit one day with her guests to show off my home, she called on the way to say to expect her. I stopped her there and then saying it wasn't a convenient time for her to visit time as I was busy. Needless to say she chose not to talk to me. That was pure bliss. 😉

Nay, she ALREADY had her last stay in it.

So what? It's your MUM. Be glad she's still around and comes to visit. My dad, every time he visits, wants to stay in my gite (holiday let) because he likes it so much. I do have a guest room, but I always make sure he can have the gite when he visits. It gives him (and me) some privacy, and that's fine. We have breakfast in my kitchen in the morning, and spend the day together, but in the evenings he prefers to go to my gite, and that is perfectly fine. He keeps calling it "his French house". And? Big deal.

Wow!! So many petty people! While she visits its her room. OP better figure what the real issue is. Our guest room is always called guest room and when someone stays in it is called their room. You really need to get over yourself girl.

This is not just about the room. It can't be.

Maybe the OP's mother is not trying to be controlling. Maybe she's just trying to stay a part of her daughter's life (and is possibly struggling as an empty nester). If there is no harm, I'd let her continue calling it her room, and keep letting her be a part of my life. As someone who has lost her father, my only regret is not spending more time with him because you cannot get back lost time/opportunities.

I don't get it. This is a vain and immature power struggle. It's your mom. She comes over a few days of the year. Stays in the room. Calls it her room. Packs and leaves. As a mother, let her have the joy of claiming something that belongs to you as 'hers'. You are not giving her a ownership legal letter! Let her be happy about telling her friends that her daughter has a room for her that she gets to stay in when she visits! It's 'her room' About the snooping.. where do your guests keep their stuff if not the closet? A polybag on the floor? If you think something is not to be shared don't keep it in the shared guest room. If kept, then let the guests use it. Weird to have your parents over but be possessive over a wee bit of space. She's just wanting to belong. Let her. It costs you nothing. Op has some unresolved issues that need therapy.

I miss my mom id love to have her alive for one more sleepover 😪 , this is a weird power trip thing.... idk why it matters to either of them!? Lol

I’m so happy to read these comments! As I was reading OPs post I kept thinking to myself “ya ok, so? I was waiting for the problem but as far as I could tell, there wasn’t one. Especially the closet part! Most of my guests hang their clothes in mine. Glad to see I wasn’t the only one!

When she dies, sooner than you would like, you will long for her to be in "her room." She wants to feel welcome. She wants to tell friends "my daughter keeps a room for me." Let it go. You are being really petty. This in no way actually affects you. When you have another guest they still get to sleep there, no matter what she calls it.

What did OP call the room she used when she was growing up in her mother's home? I strongly suspect she referred to it as "her room". Adult children seem to have a hard time grasping that after 18 plus years of parents sharing their entire lives and spaces with their kids, that it's hard to just flip the switch and no longer want and have that same level of comfort with your children. It's not an intent to control, but just to remain in a similar familiar and close arrangement/relationship that they've shared with their kids for many many years.

I mean unless this is stemming from something else I'm not seeing a big deal. She isn't always over making it impossible to actually have other guests and what does she do with her stuff if she isn't allowed to use the closet. Technically when she is staying in it is her room for the moment. There is something that isn't being said so this post sounds ridiculous but that's just me....***shrugs***