Society functions under the assumption that we’ve all accepted its rules. Money has value because we’ve been told that it does, and we abide by the law to avoid negative consequences. But that doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to question anything. In fact, the only way that progress ever occurs is through speaking up about the flaws in the system.
Reddit users have recently been discussing some of the societal standards they have a problem with, so we’ve gathered their thoughts down below. Enjoy reading through their responses, and be sure to upvote the things you don’t consider to be normal either.
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That people’s feelings are more important than the truth.
That we need to be tolerant of other cultures, religions, ideals, etc. always.
No, there are some objectively terrible beliefs out there that only exist because people insist it’s their culture or any of the above mentioned.
Slavery, child marriage, marriage rape, stoning homosexuals, hating a group of people because you’re supposed to, considering a sector of humanity lesser because they’re not the right color/ gender etc etc etc.
"iT's jUSt mY opiNIoN!" No, it's not just an opinion...basic human rights aren't "opinions".
tipping culture.
You as a employer should pay your employee enough, balancing the cost of your service with his salary.
Men can not be abused. Men can not feel emotion. Men are supposed to slap on some bootstraps or, however, it's called and take it "like a man." Its disgusting.
Be a man. You must be swift as the coursing river
Healthcare being tied to employment. I don't want to be trapped to a job I hate just so I can get my prescriptions. I have enough savings and low cost of living so I could totally do a part time job but no.. 40 hours for insurance.
To expect to know things that are not taught to you growing up. Taxes, laws, basic medical care, even from what cleaning chemicals you can mix to how long food lasts in the fridge. Instead public education is geared towards making sure a students mindset is ready to be another cog in the economic machine.
"Education" today is too focused on passing standardized tests to secure funding for the school, rather than properly educating children and young adults about the world they are about to enter.
Honestly? For individuals to be their own community. That's why so many people are suffering. We're a social species, we're supposed to help each other, but instead we're all just struggling along because society says it's disgraceful to "be a burden upon others".
Ridiculous. We need more empathy and less ego. More connection, less loneliness.
There is nothing selfish about asking for help and needing to rely on others. Even the hermits and most solitary people benefit with a little interaction with people once in a while, no matter how much they show they hate it. People go absolutely mad when isolated. Doesn't matter how introverted you are.
That it’s acceptable to let someone die if they don’t have the money to pay for care
that being a virgin anytime past like 16 is abnormal
The concept of virginity and purity needs to stop. There is nothing wrong with not being a "virgin" as well as nothing wrong with being one. The whole concept is outdated
This. Society attaches baggage either way. You shouldn't shy away from sex, but you shouldn't start on anybody else's terms or schedules.
Load More Replies...I wish the youth realized how empowering it is to wait and giving themselves that choice to not bend to coercion and manipulation. No one is going to love you more because they got off on you in a few minutes. It's like when you're a kid eating lunch at school and someone begs for your fruit roll up, offering you their sandwich, saying they'll be your friend. Lies. (Please don't cherry pick what I'm saying. I know about the exceptions. I'm not referring to that.)
I waited for marriage. Got married at age 34. It's nice knowing my husband is the only man I've been with.
Load More Replies...also, normalize asexuality and aromanticism! amatonormativity (the idea that everybody loves in the same way and that everybody needs to be in a romantic and/or sexual relationship) is toxic for many people. Humanity is diverse.
Thank you-yes to all of this. The amount of times I was told I was broken. The amount of times I’ve had my own damn mother and therapists treat asexuality as a mental illness that can be fixed with pills or forced sexual encounters. It’s damming and so outrageously hurtful. It makes me feel like less of a person when people make fun of asexuals and infantilize them. I’m thought of taking my own life when people refused to believe me that asexuality isn’t a mental illness. That’s why I will always stand with all members of the LGBTQ+ community even if some won’t stand with me. Sexuality is a spectrum. To any ace who feels sad, scared, or unloved- you are valid.
Load More Replies...There's a lot of data about sex education and how that affects young people. In those countries with age appropriate sex and relationship teaching in school, there are lower rates of teen pregnancy, lower rates of STDs, and in general, a higher age at first intercourse. Teaching children about sex enables them to make a decision about it, and feel more confident in themselves about when, with whom, and how. And another statistic- those countries with proper sex education in schools, there's a much lower rate of young people saying they felt pressured into sex the first time, and a higher rate of people saying they enjoyed their first sexual experience. In countries with no school sex ed, young women are more likely to report they regretted their first time, didn't enjoy it and felt pressured. Abstinence isn't sex ed-teaching kids about sex gives them the tools and knowledge they need.
sexuality is a personal matter ..it's no business for the society to judge or demand. ( sexual abuse excluded for sure)
Purity culture makes it even worse for abuse survivors, because you know you're already tainted and you don't have that pure, pristine body for your husband. Society is getting a bit more compassionate, but I have certainly had guys choose to not see me again after they found out about that part of my life.
Load More Replies...Virginity means NOTHING. It’s doesn’t have any reflection on who you are.
I waited til i was 28. Had a ONS. Never met someone who wanted to share the time with me. I am almost 34 now and still single, never had a relationship. For some its just not possible. Edit: Can confirm no medic professional believes you, if you say you have no sex. I am sexless since my first time. I don't miss it. So i am probably grey ace or ace and thats absolutely okay.
I was so young when I was 16, I could not imagine being ready for a sexual relationship. It’s weird and dangerous that there’s pressure to lose it while you’re still a child.
I was a virgin until I was 23. Really wished, at the time, that it was 16.
Some idiot downvoted me for saying how I felt when I was young.
Load More Replies...I am asexual, and I don't think I'll ever have sex, because it makes me uncomfortable. Doesn't make me abnormal, because virginity isn't a thing. Also, I would say 16 is wayy too young to have sex anyway, especially in this age of prawnography, where it is so easy to see these videos where violence against women is normalised and where the pleasure of the man is the most important thing.
I think losing your virginity by 16 was fairly common (which is very different than universal) back in the 80s, but the pendulum seems to have swung back the other way since then. I don't think anybody in touch with reality ever thought that is was abnomal to still be a virgin after 16.
Load More Replies...People confuse "uncommon" with "abnormal". The first is statistical, the second judgemental.
I think that a lot of young people are rushing to have sex because they want experience, and ends up dissapointed because it's nothing like they imagined. Also, a lot of people has pretty unhealthy approach to sexuality.
Waited for marriage was with the same man for 20 years until he walked out. I'm now struggling almost three years later on how to even be with another man. Note: he was not a virgin he had several girlfriends in HS and had another wife before me. He's on Gf number 2 since our divorce
There was a large Twitch streamer who was like 19-20 years old at the time who readily talked about how he was a still a virgin. And he was a good looking guy with a good personality and he worked to normalize virginity. And his community showed that positivity because they would regularly talk about it amongst themselves in a healthy way. I mentioned pro athletes in the mental health entry. We need to normalize these things from people like these.
Sex is one dangerous thing because many deadly disease can easily transmitted by it. This activity will also bring a big mental burden when perform unsafely. So it is a big concern when you do at time that you are not mentally mature enough and or with anyone who ever do it unsafely.
I was 37 the first time I had sex (willingly; the rest didn't count). Guys I've dated since then have freaked out if I told them because that was just too weird. No, dude. No. I had a traumatic childhood, and I needed to heal before I was comfortable doing that. I am not ashamed.
Yeah, you're gonna want to put off the embarrassment and horrible, fumbling awkwardness of your first sexual experience as long as possible. You'll get better at it, much much better with some thought and consideration for your partner, but the first time- yeesh.
I was a virgin until I was 28 and felt no pressure to lose it sooner, which possibly also had something to do with me rejecting all things sex-related for a long time, save for fanfiction (and even that was quite tame). Losing it was a good experience, and I'm glad I waited longer instead of rushing into it during younger years. In fact, I think that in general, life should be less about sex - like, who cares how long or short it was, how often you have it and such. And fandoms, more fluff and less smut, please.
Hey Bre, I can't respond to your comment, but you are being highly aphobic and rude to religions and choices. Not have sex before 16 is not a sign of being able to form relationships, also can you provide any proof or sources of this?
Bree's comment was nasty. There are no statistics saying that having sex at 16 is the healthiest thing. People who wait into their early 20s statistically tend to go further in academics and in their careers. I was the last of my high school group to lose the v-card (granted I was FAR older than average and had to deal with some trauma first), but I do have two master's degrees. I have many excellent close friendships. I just didn't want to do that because I was a mess. I know I'll never get back my youth or have those memories of wild college stuff, and I'm likely not to have as much sex in my life as most people do, but would it have been better to do it when I wasn't ready and just make the trauma worse?
Load More Replies...The mainstream media will never say it. But in the U.S., the average number of jr/high school students who die from complications due to pregnancy, is about the same as the number of students killed in random mass school shootings. Both kill about 14 per year on average. But one is heavily publicized, while nary a word is spoken about the other.
That is so effing sad, and it says a LOT about the failures of the US health, education, and legal systems. I know some people think it's heroic for a very young girl to endure a pregnancy cuz LIFE or whatever, but even if you're fertile, your body is not necessarily ready for pregnancy, much less your mind. The fact that in the US, maternal mortality is 4 times as high for Black women as for yt also horrifies me.
Load More Replies...If a teen can't consent to it with an adult then they shouldn't be old enough to consent with another teen. I've never thought teenagers were equipped to handle sex and everything that goes along with it. As a woman, I could never expect a teenage boy to give me all the things required with intimacy, so I don't understand why we would let our young daughters. And vice versa.
Because they want it, they will do it anyway, and dealing with disappointment is an important life lesson.
Load More Replies...That's changing..you don't see daycares in high-schools like you did in the 80s and 90s.
Youth is driven by often uncontrollable hormones. The sex drive supersedes logical thinking. Mix that with poor birth control education, lack of disease protection, and rampant STDs and youthful sex becomes a dangerous activity.
Where did you get that information? Uncontrollable hormones? Sure they have heightened sexual hormones, but not all teens are sex addicts who can't control themselves. If anything, I've had crushes that didn't involve wanting to get into their pants. It's so important to teach the youth about healthy sex lives, respect, consent and prevention. It's just as important to teach them about bodily autonomy and how to say NO! I wish that radio show Sex Talk with Sue was still around. They aired reruns in the late 90s. I learned things listening in that I didn't learn in school, that was actually informative. Like a**l sex puts you at risk for hemorrhoids and tearing, leading to painful poops and infections. And that you should never put anything in the vagina that has touched your b******e region. Makes you view porn very differently with much concern about the women.
Load More Replies...I thought sex before 18 was statutory rape, so I can't understand this one.
The age of consent here in Germany is 14 depending on the mental capacity to understand the act. That doesn't mean that any person can legally have intercourse with people that age though, as it would count as statutory rape if one person above the age of 18 would have sex with a person below the age of 18 from a pure legal point of view
Load More Replies...I think provided the parties are similar in age promiscuity in hugging and breast or bottom touching/squeezing should be ok if consensual, but that kissing, touching genitals, or sex should be reserved for marriage. Physical contact is important socially and emotionally though so is respecting when one doesn't want contact.
As for society in America the expectation for the mother to return to work quickly and have her body "bounce back" ASAP.
Not giving men maternity leave with his new child so he he can bond and help care for it with the mother/other parent
Lack of universal healthcare and also how stigmatized certain mental illnesses are, as if people choose to be sick 🙄
The quest for youthfulness. Growing older is a privilege and I don't understand the hate on wrinkles, grey hair etc. There used to be a saying "grow old gracefully" which implies accepting the changes and making the most out of it.
The commodification of your hobbies. They're about how you spend your leisure time, not another revenue stream
The pressure and scrutiny is real. Anytime I enjoy something and seem to do it well, a family member says I should sell it. Turn it into a business. Business is mainly about the administrative aspects, and you worry a lot more about finances and keeping up demand. But you have to get your start. Just because one or 2 people say they like your work and ask to make stuff for them, doesn't mean they actually want to pay you for it, nor does it mean many other people want your work. I think some people just say they want a piece of your work as a way to show they support your endeavours, but not in a genuine way.
Now with smartphones, assuming that people are available and obligated to respond to you. I sometimes wish we lived in the older times when you had to call someone’s home landline number and leave a message, then wait for them to respond back at their earliest convenience. Now it’s, “I texted you, you didn’t respond, are we still friends, are you mad at me”? Blah blah etc. like no, I simply just didn’t feel like responding. I’m a busy adult, and just because there’s a texting feature on my phone doesn’t mean I’m always willing to engage in conversation with you.
That athletes are paid so much than most people because they provide entertainment and branding.
Thai dowry system. In Thailand, a man is expected to give money to bride’s parents before he marry her. The amount can be a lot.
This puts groom in financial pressure. He could use that money for future child education or taking care of his soon to be wife BUT he has to give them to her parents.
This also treats bride like a commodity, a trade. It devalues women.
This is called sin sod, often confused with a dowry. A dowry is the brides family giving the groom money, livestock etc.
Not going to the hospital because you have no health insurance and would rather die than bankrupt your entire family.
And hope that you have a decent life insurance plan to make sure your family is okay after you die
That a person's worth is tied to their job and economic activity rather than their character.
There are so many people of many different walks in life. People say you should work as a server to understand tipping culture, or work in retail to understand patience and empathy. But try working in a thrift store, or volunteer at a shelter or soup kitchen. You'll realize there's a whole aspect of life you didn't think was there, while meeting people you enjoy talking to but would likely move to another seat if they sat next to you on the bus.
Beauty standards (for men, women, etc)
Human bodies should not be treated or seen as a trend imo
The only time I see people caring about trends is in magazines and online. Sometimes in school. When I'm out and about, I see people with many different looks, wearing all sorts of clothes. No one cares anymore. Anything goes these days. I could wear Victorian era clothing on the bus. I may get some stares. Perhaps someone may strike up a conversation. But no one is going to shame me nor anyone else, because people are too busy on their phones to notice anything anymore.
Work full time, have a perfectly clean house, be fit because you exercise regularly and be the perfect mother and partner on top
Edit to add: have a successful career
That everyone should look like a social media filter.
It feels like every app has filters on it now, some of them automatic, to smooth out your skin, even its color, make your eyes bigger, add makeup, make you look skinnier, make you whatever it is you aren't enough of already to be perfect. And I think it's making us expect people to be essentially CGI versions of people instead of actual people.
I don't use filters, and if I do it's for fun. Since I can't wear makeup much I like seeing what would like good on me. So far, I'm good with my natural looks. But not a lot of people are okay with that, so even on my personal FB account I keep my profile not of me. Jackasses sure like to assume I'm a huge, obese person because of my round, plump face I inherited from my dad. Or criticize my hair. Or just feel the need to randomly say I'm so ugly. I know they're just trolls, jerks and trying to get a rise out of me. Nonetheless, when it's all the time, every time you comment on anything, it gets exhausting and starts affecting you. I believe this is why a lot of people refuse to show their faces.
40 hour work week
But once again this leaves out anyone who does shift work - the medical industry, service jobs, retail, food, etc. Not everyone works happy little office jobs on salary.
Women have to be strong, but not too much, have to have a job and intellectual background, but have to be ready to do the home chores on their own if their partner's job is more "important" than theirs. They have to care about their appearance, but not too much, or they will be considered as attention seekers. They have to be able to smile and talk in public, but not too much. Basically, if you are attractive, people will tend to think you are "only" attractive and not so smart, and even that you got the job because you are pretty, but if you are considered less attractive, you may be categorized as someone whose intelligence and sensibility are not enough...
Double standards between men and women is a real thing
That it's far more important to kill people than to educate them ie, Military spending v Education spending. Why we don't want everyone to be as smart as they can be is a crime against humanity
How brutally sexist family court is against men. It doesn't matter what the mother did, she is almost always going to get the kids, the house, and turn the father into an at will atm. One of my Marine buddie's wife cheated on him while we were deployed. She got pregnant and my friend is on the hook for the kid, even though DNA proved it wasn't his. He was seen as a source of income for a piece of s**t mom by the court. For 18 years this dude has to pay for a kid that isn't even his. Family court is the most distilled form of our societies beliefs about men.
The courts decision has no common sense anywhere in it. Edit: people i talking about THIS specific court 🤷🏽♀️
The idea that body hair isn’t ok on women.
I hate bodyhair on myself as a man, so... it depends on individuals. I think men with bodyhair look like a donut that fell on a barbershop floor. It grosses me out. Especially bears.
The work 9 to 5 for almost all your life.
It's like you have been born to work, pay taxes and consume.
I would love the idea of ONLY 9am to 5pm FIVE Days a week. Instead of in an ever growing majority of jobs 24-7 365. Both are terrible. People are not machines. Billionaires are not normal. 1 Billion Seconds is 31 Years. There needs to be Govt Control in the United States FOR THE WORKERS. THE PEOPLE THAT PRODUCE ACTUAL HOLD ABLE ITEMS AND GOOD!!! CEOS DO NOTHING!!! EAT THE RICH!!!
That corporate profits _need_ to be in the pockets of few, to _safe_ the economy, but losses and crashing corporations are okay to be socialized on the shoulders of the tax payers...also to safe the economy
Corporate welfare is maddening, but society seems to not complain about how much of their tax money goes to those saving graces for rich companies, like they do with people on social assistance. https://www.fraserinstitute.org/article/governments-in-canada-spent-more-than-350-billion-on-corporate-welfare --- https://www.hoover.org/research/welfare-well-how-business-subsidies-fleece-taxpayers
That student loans are ok. They are everything but ok.
I am less concerned by the loans than I am with the usurious interest charged. My kid pays 12.5% on hers. Stupid old Dad said," you do not need the extra $5K each semester (extra $15k+/yr) but, nooooo.
The expectation of being constantly employed. If you're not producing something then you're worthless.
That we are expected to move out of our parents' home the day we turn 18. With the current COL and entry-level wages, this just isn't possible for most people.
EDIT: I'm referring to the US in this example.
That it is okay to be overweight/obese.
I get what the movement was for, but then it became this entity of encouraging unhealthy weight and succumbing to the weight problem. However, I don't think bullying, shaming, body snarking those who are obese or anorexic is doing anyone any good. Just let people exist, deal with their issues in peace and mind your business.
Being a divorced woman over 35 means I hold absolutely no value and am essentially doomed to die alone.
It doesn't matter I was a loving, devoted wife for 14 years or that he tried to kill me over his drinking and that's why we're divorced. I'm just old and used up...
I couldn't possibly use my education, career and everything I've secured with those to treat the man who shows me kindness and makes me feel safe like a king...
Can't have been divorced long if 35 and married for 14 years. And the "he tried to kill me..." Not to mention nowadays being over 35 and divorced seems kind of normal... about as normal as being remarried. This one's a "woe is me" sorry more than anything normalized I think.
I find icks really stupid and majority of "icks" are everyday things and are completely normal. I've seen videos of icks and it includes people wearing backpacks, people still have a childhood teddy bear, crying or being in love with something. I just think that the standard of icks are stupid
Oh, just a **tiny, unassuming question** to start the day! Well, alright. While the idea of "most" can be a bit subjective because, you know, one person's "f*cked up" can be another's "**Tuesday**," here are a few contenders in the grand pageant of societal standards that might just take the cake:
1. **The Pursuit of Perfection**: Society has this *adorable* little habit of promoting impossible standards of beauty, success, and overall lifestyle. This might not raise any eyebrows until you consider the small, **inconsequential side effect** of causing widespread insecurity, anxiety, and a booming business for therapists and social media influencers. Who doesn't love a standard that creates a perpetual feeling of inadequacy?
2. **The Stigmatization of Mental Health**: Nothing says "progressive society" like still treating mental health issues as a **taboo** or a sign of weakness. It's almost impressive how persistent this standard is, considering the leaps and bounds made in understanding the human brain. It's like society collectively decided that mental health can be swept under the rug with last century's dust.
3. **Work-Life Imbalance**: Ah, the glorification of overworking. Society loves to peddle the narrative that working yourself to the **bone** is the only path to success and fulfillment. Because who needs hobbies, relaxation, or, dare I say, **sleep**, when you can have the joy of chronic stress and burnout?
4. **The "Us vs. Them" Mentality**: Society has a knack for creating divisions among people: race, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, **pineapple on pizza**... you name it. It's as if humanity decided that life wasn't challenging enough and opted to add a level of difficulty by fostering unnecessary hatred and prejudice.
5. **Financial Status as a Measure of Worth**: Nothing quite says "f*cked up" like equating a person's value with their bank account. This standard is great because it completely overlooks minor details like **character**, **integrity**, **kindness**, and whether or not someone is a good pet parent.
Of course, there are many more, but then this would turn into a **novel** instead of a light, sarcastic banter. Remember, the beauty of society is that it's made up of individuals, and individuals have the power to challenge and change these standards. Or, at the very least, make snarky comments about them.
In the US, circumcision.
FWIW, I'm circumcised and I'm glad for it. I'm also a guy who shaves down there so I'm not normal I guess.
Western society at any rate, sets the decadence of eating well, eating good, eat often, eat in fancy places, eat ti show off, eat to indulge with fancy restaurants, eateries and expensive tastes....but then betrays people by saying gluttony is wrong, weight gain is wrong (it often isn't good), image is everything and we should look perfect and be in the gym looking like Instagram models...
Sexualising teens. Advertising and normalising the overt sexualisation of kids barely past puberty as if they're fully responsible adults. Neurology has found the brain doesn't mature fully until around 25+ years old. But society scores teenage pregnancy, tells them they don't understand life's complexities and is now saying that if a boy approaches a girl he likes to flirt, it's tantamount to sexual assault...
Basically, modern Western society is the congestive dissonance on a full blown scale...we don't want people to suffer, but we dgaf about homeless, drug addicts or those suffering. We want to appear virtuous and noble, but we're rotten and corrupt to the core...life is one big venetian masked ball of everyone pretending to be something they're not and social media, for good or bad, has amplified that to the nth degree because we can all live make-believe in public and then surrender to our deepest and most lustful desires behind closed doors
Anyone else think the Garage clothing store ads are ... uncomfortably suggestive? Me and my daughter see it all the time in the malls.
The government not telling us how much taxes we owe. No universal paternity leave for new dads. Rich people are above the law. Encouraging people to work through sickness. Pharmaceuticals can advertise. So much c**p that we have been led to believe is normal that never made any damn sense.
I do wish more people knew this: The government WILL do your taxes for you! If you have significant investments, including a home, you want to do it yourself. But you absolutely can staple your W-2 form (or 1099) to your 1040/1040EZ, and the government will do it FOR you. You probably want to fill in the names and social-security numbers of your kids, to make SURE the government knows you're claiming them. See, people THINK the government won't give them any credits or deductions if they don't know know to claim them, but the truth is that as long as no-one signs that they prepared your taxes FOR you, the government will identify the credits and deductions that they can know about.
Load More Replies...The fact that for over 40/50 years we've taught French and Spanish in school and not Sign Language.
More people understand Spanish than sign language. It's more useful.
Load More Replies...Oh yay, the weekly "hard truths" "tough talk" "yawn boring rehashed same nonsense" downvote.
I will never understand society. Do a good job for your organization and the first time you make an innocent faux pa, they rip you apart and throw you out with the trash,
It's super weird to me that people are complaining about athletes being "overpaid" but somehow CEOs didn't make the list. The former offers way more of a unique skillset compared to the other.
The government not telling us how much taxes we owe. No universal paternity leave for new dads. Rich people are above the law. Encouraging people to work through sickness. Pharmaceuticals can advertise. So much c**p that we have been led to believe is normal that never made any damn sense.
I do wish more people knew this: The government WILL do your taxes for you! If you have significant investments, including a home, you want to do it yourself. But you absolutely can staple your W-2 form (or 1099) to your 1040/1040EZ, and the government will do it FOR you. You probably want to fill in the names and social-security numbers of your kids, to make SURE the government knows you're claiming them. See, people THINK the government won't give them any credits or deductions if they don't know know to claim them, but the truth is that as long as no-one signs that they prepared your taxes FOR you, the government will identify the credits and deductions that they can know about.
Load More Replies...The fact that for over 40/50 years we've taught French and Spanish in school and not Sign Language.
More people understand Spanish than sign language. It's more useful.
Load More Replies...Oh yay, the weekly "hard truths" "tough talk" "yawn boring rehashed same nonsense" downvote.
I will never understand society. Do a good job for your organization and the first time you make an innocent faux pa, they rip you apart and throw you out with the trash,
It's super weird to me that people are complaining about athletes being "overpaid" but somehow CEOs didn't make the list. The former offers way more of a unique skillset compared to the other.