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Women Share How They Realized Their Partner Didn’t Even Like Them In This Excruciating Online Thread
There are few things more painful than realizing this is the end of a relationship you hoped would last. And even though the “it’s over” moment can be heartbreaking, sometimes there’s no other choice but to end things. Especially when your partner clearly doesn’t care about you anymore; if they ever did in the first place.
Members of Reddit’s ‘Ask Women’ community discussed their experience with such partners in a thread started by the user ‘Street_Salt_1973’. They asked the women when they realized that their partner didn’t care for them, and quite a few were willing to share. Providing answers that cover stories ranging from aggravating to heart-wrenching, the members showed that lack of care can be enough to bring the fairytale to its final chapter.
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#1
When I explained that I'd been feeling depressed because playing music is my outlet and I'd been really missing it. I bought a keyboard for the extra bedroom which he didn't notice for 2+ months. When he did notice he told me to get rid of it because he doesn't want "extra junk" in his house. I only played with headphones and usually when he wasn't home but he told me if the keyboard didn't go, I had to. So I took the keyboard and left.
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#2
He's an ex-husband. When I begged him not to tell me what happened at the strip club because I knew I'd use the knowledge to torture myself, the first thing he did when he got home was brag about the lap dances he got and how hot those women were compared to me in an attempt to upset me because he wanted attention. It didn't work and I ignored him, so he punched my chair. We had problems before that, but that night killed any respect I had left. Things deteriorated quickly afterwards.
On a bright note, my boyfriend now has never even raised his voice at me. At every opportunity he tries to make the choice that would make me feel the most safe, loved, and respected. If your current partner is showing that they don't care about you, leave. There's a better life out there for you. I've never felt more lucky than I do now.
#3
I was physically assaulted at work. When I told him about it I expected him to be horrified, protective, or at least not happy about it. Instead, he looked bored. He implied that I get a bit mouthy so maybe I pissed off the wrong guy. I got the ick so fast there was no turning back.
#4
Id come down with a horrible flu. He convinced me to come over to his place “let me take care of you, you shouldn’t be suffering alone” I wanted to just stay in my own bed and ride it out but he kept at it and I thought he was just trying to be a caring boyfriend.
He just pestered me for sex the whole time and then guilt tripped me when I said I didn’t want to because I was feeling so rough “you mean sex with me would make you feel worse/wouldn’t make you feel happier…. Right, got it, THANKS”
I wish I’d dumped his a*s right then but I was young and deep into a sunken cost fallacy.
Vasana Phong 1 year ago
Why do men do this, I don’t understand, there’s going to be days where you just don’t feel it it, could be a hundred things going on that has nothing to do with them, maturity plays a huge role
#5
When I was heavily pregnant and we were arguing. I started feeling pain in the abdomen and collapsed but he just stood there and laughed and said it served me right.
#6
we were out in town and he wanted to grab some street food. i didn't have money on me so i just... got nothing. he didn't offer. i sat next to him watching him eat.
it was small, and yes i could've said something. but it was just one of many occasions that made me understand that he doesn't care about me the way i care about him. after two damn years.
#7
Me, when I fell down the stairs at my boyfriend's house and I was screaming in pain because I broke my ankle and he got mad at me because he had to drive me to the hospital he later told me he got angry because he wanted to play elden ring
#8
I returned to Australia in 2021 following a horrible journey back to Scotland (where we got stuck for 3 months) after the murder of my older brother. When I finally got out of hotel quarantine, I witnessed my sister reuniting with her partner who ran to her and hugged her like he was never going to let go. When my partner of 10 years picked me up from the airport, he looked irritated and like he didn’t want to be there. I hugged him but he barely returned it. I found out a few months later he had started talking to other girls online while I was stuck in Scotland dealing with the fallout of what happened to my brother.
ETA: He’d been an ex for almost a year now.
#9
When he critiqued how I gave birth.
Lemme get the lemons 1 year ago
I like to see him do better. I wouldn't actually because that's disgusting and I'm a child, BUT THE POINT STILL STANDS!
#10
When he accused me of being manipulative because I was crying. Why was I crying? Because I had literally just received the news that my closest friend had committed suicide.
Alexigirl1 1 year ago
What a Twatbasket! I hope you are being supported now. I'm sorry for your loss Xx
#11
When i realized that i was always needing to adjust to his schedule and the relationship immediately fell apart when i stopped putting in the effort
Alexigirl1 1 year ago
Compromise is a word some guys (and gals) haven't heard of. It HAS to be two way. Or no way.
#12
Me: “I’m in so much pain from my broken pelvis” Him: “Yeah, well, I’m tired too, ya know!” And proceeds to get mad that I am too physically broken to have sex. Actually mad.
#13
when he beat the s**t out of me twice for being pregnant, both ended with miscarriages.
it sucks but for the better.
#14
I fell and twisted my ankle one evening after he had dropped me off for my evening class. Someone riding a bike had to actually go after him to stop him from driving off completely and leaving me there. When he came back to me he was super annoyed and asked me what he was supposed to do about it. So I made him drive me to the urgent care. He then proceeded to make me take my heavy backpack inside with our 2 small children and left us there. He wanted to go get high on drugs. I couldn’t even walk and was so embarrassed and angry. I had to call my mom to come pick us up once I was done because he wouldn’t answer the phone. The entire time my ankle was sprained he never once offered to help do anything. This is one of the many reasons he’s my ex 🙃
Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago
I would’ve stayed at Mom’s, and had all my large male relatives and friends go with me to pack my s**t and leave his sorry a*s.
#15
When he wouldn’t go get me food after I worked 12 hours and he had the whole day off and I hadn’t eaten yet that day. The place was like a 5 min drive away but he asked me to get it delivered instead. It took 2 hours for the food to get there. I cried because it was Super Bowl Sunday and we had all you can eat/drink packages so I ran around a lot and opened the restaurant that morning too. I was so tired. I broke up with him 2 days later.
Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago (edited)
OP, don’t demean yourself with some deadbeat a*****e. Wait for the magic when a truly wonderful guy comes along. Believe me, it’s so worth the wait. Even if he didn’t get takeout, my hubby would at least fix me a plate of food himself, either fresh once I got home, or put aside a cold plate or a hot meal wrapped up to microwave, for me to eat when I got home. I waited until I was pushing 40 for him. Looking back on previous boyfriends, I’m glad he’s the only one I wanted to marry. Totally worth the long wait.
#16
The one that was an eye opener was while we were fetching a couple of items from the local store, I got really dizzy and fell on the floor (had vertigo balance issues at the time) she didn’t even notice, and kept on walking around the store, one of the staff brought me a chair to sit down, after a while I managed to find my balance and went to find her, told her what happened, she started shouting defensively. It was over that week. Had to end it.
#17
I had to drive a couple hours to say goodbye to my dying grandpa in the hospital. On my way back home, I stopped at Chipotle for dinner. My then boyfriend’s first reaction when he saw me—rather than comforting me because I’d just visited my grandpa for the last time—was to get angry that I didn’t get him a burrito.
#18
When I had to have an emergency procedure and instead of him driving me, I had to take the train because it was too early for him to bring me. I had no drivers license.
A week later he helped his family at 7AM to move.
Priority noted.
#19
When the "your match is about to expire" notification popped up while he was showing me tik toks.
#20
He cried to me about emotional issues sometimes and I always held him and talked him through it. Eventually I needed the same support but instead he got mad and started yelling, blaming me, and told me, "one of us has to be the strong one, I can't have a partner who falls apart like this. I need someone strong."
Nay Wilson 1 year ago
That’s not the way it works. Everyone needs to be able to fall apart sometimes
#21
When he didn't want to tell one of his (unbeknownst to me, MANY) bits on the side that it was over because (and I quote) he "didn't want to hurt her feelings!"
And then again when I was only hours from having heart surgery and he chose that moment to tell me he didn't love me anymore.
Now I'm with a guy who actually loves me and I regret ever giving that thing I used to date the time of day.
Stephanie A Mutti 1 year ago
It's sad and hopeful at the same time to see we sometimes need a minute to realize it's not working, but that the next go around we are much wiser in our choices.
#22
When he tripped and fell into his girl best friend’s vagina.
Jennlyn 1 year ago
"You tripped, slipped on a rug. Whoops Mrs. H, I guess this just isn't my day."
Load More Replies...
Leah Brown 1 year ago
I've had the "it was an accident" excuse before. I told him he was now free to walk around without pants and could accidently trip into whatever va-jj he wanted to because he would NOT be seeing mine anymore. BEST DECISION EVER!!
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
Did you remember to shred all the pants he now no longer needed, before you left him
Load More Replies...
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 1 year ago
I can understand that. But why were they naked to begin with?
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
I hope he stood up immediately and apologize to both the girl friend and you for such unfortunate accident.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
Whenever I hear a comment like this my mind automatically goes to these safe sex comics done by MTV. Mildy NSFW but not too offensive https://imgur.com/cxeMm
#23
So many small things that I justified as differences in communication. The final realization was when I tried talking about my complicated relationship with my father and he started getting angry at me for not understanding what fathers go through and general explanation of why life sucks for men. Like bro. Are you gaslighting me about my own relationship with my dad?
The bulb just went on that he doesn't care enough to understand my experiences. Broke up within the next 2 weeks.
#24
Ex partner. I broke a glass accidently and stepped on a piece screaming. He didn't even come into the kitchen which was right next to our bedroom. Even after I yelled for him to get something to stop the bleeding.
Snow_White 1 year ago
My ex broke a glass and didn't bother to clean up properly. I found out because I got a piece of glass stuck in my foot.
#25
During a fight, I'm begging for him to use kind words. No verbal abuse, stay quiet and listen to respond, just have a real conversation. He tells me "that's not who I am, I'm not changing for you." Idk why it took so long for me to realize, but he just doesn't give a s**t about me. I realized he would continue doing that as long as I am around to take it.
#26
I confronted him and found out I was just a side piece. I cried for days, mostly because I couldn’t believe I was that stupid.
Maisey Myles 1 year ago
Hey- you're not stupid. You were smart enough to get away from him. I felt the same about my ex. I was so angry with him until I realized I was really mad at myself for not getting out of there sooner. Therapy helped
#27
When my ex proposed to me and then three weeks later started cheating on me with an employee that was underage
#28
When I found out he had never actually stopped contact with the woman he cheated on me with. They just moved their sexting convos over to a different app. F*****g a*****e.
#29
When he said I don’t enjoy giving you orgasms because then you don’t want to have sex for a few days after that.
Or maybe when he told me we never went on a honeymoon because he knew he wasn’t going to get any sex.
#30
When I had to take a cab home from the emergency room in the middle of the night because he went home to sleep.
What do you think ?
Amanda 1 year ago
Nowhere near as awful as some of these, but I told him I was thinking of giving up alcohol. He immediately blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard anything since. Beer was more important to him than me and my wellbeing
Chexmy Licks🇯🇵/egg 1 year ago
im actually speechless about these post. i cant believe someone is this cruel to the people who love them.
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
So ... so many of these could have been stories from my own relationship history (not current) - what is worse is the reason ANY of us put up with it for more than a single incident is that we're shamed by others (who haven't had the same issues) to "not give up" and "I'm sure you misjudged things"
Debbie 1 year ago
Some posts were clear and heartbreaking. Some were lacking info and well told from a victims perspective but very subjective so I am hesitant to judge. There is harsh judgment here, based on only a few lines of text. It's give and take in a relationship, and often it feels like it is divided unfairly. But what one person gives or takes might not be the same thing that the other needs of wants. But if it's a dead weight sitting on the couch and not putting in any effort, it's time to clean up the useless stuff..
talliloo 1 year ago
had been married about 10 yrs when i was diagnosed with a slow but degenerative disease. fast forward to about 25 yrs of marriage and had a bad flare that meant that i had to use a wheelchair for a day or so. the first time he saw me in the chair he turned and walked away. i left a couple of years later. btw, i still have the chair and maybe use it once or twice a year but only when i know i am going somewhere with uneven ground or want to take my dogs on a long walk.
Whitefox 1 year ago
My ex cheated several times, lied like his life depended on it, stole money, did nothing to help around the house, spent money he didnt have, emotionally abused the c**p out of me, gaslit me at every turn, refused to help take care of our pets even when I was working 16hrs a day because he quit his job. Ohhh it was a wretched experience. Thankfully, I moved onwards and upwards. I am with the love of my life now and never look back.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
My ex bf was a jerk but he was nowhere near this level of assholery
Maisey Myles 1 year ago
I can respond to all of these stories about evil ex's with one word- scumbags
Sarah E Cofer 1 year ago
1 - when he broke my rib and I was dryheaving on the ground and he laughed at me and then pushed me back down when I tried to stand, then ran inside and stole my phone and left me there in need of medical help. It took me 30 minutes to crawl inside all to discover that he had my phone. I couldnt walk and could barely breathe. It took almost 2 days for someone to show up to my house and go get help for me. 2- When I worked 3 doubles in a row and couldnt eat at work and every night when I walked in with food starving he threw my food against the wall or in the floor. 3 days in a row of me not having time for breakfast or lunch and on night three I just bawled like a baby and he told me to get over myself. #3 - when I got drugged with Ghb last week and taken advantage of and he didnt bother to come check on me until 2 days later and then left for another 3 days and then just wanted to have sex with me before going back to his f**k buddies house to spend the night so Im through with it
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
Girl I truly hope you're at your wits end and truly done. I've been in a similar situation where I stayed for 3 years. It never gets better. Only worse. The longer you stay the longer it takes to recover from that type of abuse. You deserve soooo much better than what his best days could give you. I promise you will find someone who on their worst day will still be 100% kind and loving towards you. Know your worth and never settle for anything less than that!
Load More Replies...
Jess 1 year ago
When I was depressed because of him (he didn't treat me nice, he was flirting w others, didn't care what bothered me..) he ignored me, went out with friends (cause they need him) and blamed me for ruining his mood. He stopped talking to me because he "doesn't have time, energy or sexual mood" for me, but continued flirting with others. Oh and he cut the communication right after my father passed away. .. He still doesn't understand what did he do wrong and doesn't think he's a bad guy.
FABULOUS1 1 year ago
I can relate to a lot of these. Went through a lot of physical and mental abuse, and was treated very badly by people who were supposed to be in love with me. For years I thought I deserved everything I got and was reminded constantly no one would or could ever love me. Today I get to be married to an awesome woman, she is not perfect but she is perfect for me. She not only accepts me but also my children and our grandkids which my last ex did not. I don't think you have to have someone to be happy, but everyone deserves someone who considers their happiness always and vice versa.
crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago
I'm not a woman, but my last boyfriend broke up with me when he came out as aromantic which I really should have seen coming. He only ever told me he loved me without me saying it before him once, and that was when I was actively having a complete mental breakdown, he never did anything for me or tried to compromise between our different relationship needs and just let me change everything I could about myself to try and be perfect for him. We're still friends and it's a lot better this way, but I'm down like 80 dollars that I spent on him and a whole lot of mental health that I shouldn't have wasted
talliloo 1 year ago
was diagnosed with degenerative disease at about the 10 yr mark of our marriage. we were married a little over 25 yrs when a bad flare had me having to use a wheelchair (it was only going to be temporary). he took one look at me in the chair and walked away. he later said it was "a shock". i left a couple of years later. btw: i still have a chair. i use it only once or twice a year and only if i have to go somewhere with uneven ground or the distance is too far to do without problems.
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)
I asked my (now ex) husband if he could come cuddle with me, because I was having trouble falling asleep; bear in mind, I was pulling 100% of the weight in the relationship, and almost never asked for anything because I knew from experience I was likely to be let down. His response was a completely flippant "I don't feel like it". Cried myself to sleep that night.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
I once said no to cuddles to my ex gf... cause it was about 90°, i was a sweatting mess and she was as hot as the devil's a*s, so that was a big no for me. We compromised in me caressing her hand until she felt asleep.
Load More Replies...
Jro308 1 year ago
Mine left me at the hospital alone to give birth to our son because the doctor told him it could be a couple of hours of labor, he went to a friends at 8pm to get high and didn't come back until 9 the next morning. Our son was born at midnight. (this was before everyone had cells phones)
Dizzie D 1 year ago
This is very sad. So many people experiencing situations where all they wanted was love, kindness and respect. The women who had awful men on these posts should partner up with the men who had awful women. They would be perfect matches as they would care so much about each other.
Monarch cat lady 1 year ago
Punctured a lung broke 2 ribs bastard yelled at me cuz I asked him to sit with my handicapped mom until could get dad to get her home. I will NEVER EVER forget that day. Yup needed a chest tube in for over 24hrs then 2 days in-house at hospital
Rosie 1 year ago
As much as I'm appalled at some of the behaviors listed here, I do understand how easy it is to tolerate small offenses. I put up w/several "minor" issues in a 4-year relationship, things like double standards & dismissal of my feelings. He was also still married to his ex (but separated for *many* years). When he got a few thousand on a settlement, I asked him what he planned to do w/the $$$. I hoped he'd say get divorced at last, but he decided on buying a TV, not to upgrade ours, but something he could watch on his own (usually the same I was watching). I finally understood we had no future & he didn't like hanging out w/me anymore, just enjoyed me as caregiver, driver & organizer. Time to go.
Amanda 1 year ago
Nowhere near as awful as some of these, but I told him I was thinking of giving up alcohol. He immediately blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard anything since. Beer was more important to him than me and my wellbeing
Chexmy Licks🇯🇵/egg 1 year ago
im actually speechless about these post. i cant believe someone is this cruel to the people who love them.
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
So ... so many of these could have been stories from my own relationship history (not current) - what is worse is the reason ANY of us put up with it for more than a single incident is that we're shamed by others (who haven't had the same issues) to "not give up" and "I'm sure you misjudged things"
Debbie 1 year ago
Some posts were clear and heartbreaking. Some were lacking info and well told from a victims perspective but very subjective so I am hesitant to judge. There is harsh judgment here, based on only a few lines of text. It's give and take in a relationship, and often it feels like it is divided unfairly. But what one person gives or takes might not be the same thing that the other needs of wants. But if it's a dead weight sitting on the couch and not putting in any effort, it's time to clean up the useless stuff..
talliloo 1 year ago
had been married about 10 yrs when i was diagnosed with a slow but degenerative disease. fast forward to about 25 yrs of marriage and had a bad flare that meant that i had to use a wheelchair for a day or so. the first time he saw me in the chair he turned and walked away. i left a couple of years later. btw, i still have the chair and maybe use it once or twice a year but only when i know i am going somewhere with uneven ground or want to take my dogs on a long walk.
Whitefox 1 year ago
My ex cheated several times, lied like his life depended on it, stole money, did nothing to help around the house, spent money he didnt have, emotionally abused the c**p out of me, gaslit me at every turn, refused to help take care of our pets even when I was working 16hrs a day because he quit his job. Ohhh it was a wretched experience. Thankfully, I moved onwards and upwards. I am with the love of my life now and never look back.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
My ex bf was a jerk but he was nowhere near this level of assholery
Maisey Myles 1 year ago
I can respond to all of these stories about evil ex's with one word- scumbags
Sarah E Cofer 1 year ago
1 - when he broke my rib and I was dryheaving on the ground and he laughed at me and then pushed me back down when I tried to stand, then ran inside and stole my phone and left me there in need of medical help. It took me 30 minutes to crawl inside all to discover that he had my phone. I couldnt walk and could barely breathe. It took almost 2 days for someone to show up to my house and go get help for me. 2- When I worked 3 doubles in a row and couldnt eat at work and every night when I walked in with food starving he threw my food against the wall or in the floor. 3 days in a row of me not having time for breakfast or lunch and on night three I just bawled like a baby and he told me to get over myself. #3 - when I got drugged with Ghb last week and taken advantage of and he didnt bother to come check on me until 2 days later and then left for another 3 days and then just wanted to have sex with me before going back to his f**k buddies house to spend the night so Im through with it
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
Girl I truly hope you're at your wits end and truly done. I've been in a similar situation where I stayed for 3 years. It never gets better. Only worse. The longer you stay the longer it takes to recover from that type of abuse. You deserve soooo much better than what his best days could give you. I promise you will find someone who on their worst day will still be 100% kind and loving towards you. Know your worth and never settle for anything less than that!
Load More Replies... Jess 1 year ago
When I was depressed because of him (he didn't treat me nice, he was flirting w others, didn't care what bothered me..) he ignored me, went out with friends (cause they need him) and blamed me for ruining his mood. He stopped talking to me because he "doesn't have time, energy or sexual mood" for me, but continued flirting with others. Oh and he cut the communication right after my father passed away. .. He still doesn't understand what did he do wrong and doesn't think he's a bad guy.
FABULOUS1 1 year ago
I can relate to a lot of these. Went through a lot of physical and mental abuse, and was treated very badly by people who were supposed to be in love with me. For years I thought I deserved everything I got and was reminded constantly no one would or could ever love me. Today I get to be married to an awesome woman, she is not perfect but she is perfect for me. She not only accepts me but also my children and our grandkids which my last ex did not. I don't think you have to have someone to be happy, but everyone deserves someone who considers their happiness always and vice versa.
crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago
I'm not a woman, but my last boyfriend broke up with me when he came out as aromantic which I really should have seen coming. He only ever told me he loved me without me saying it before him once, and that was when I was actively having a complete mental breakdown, he never did anything for me or tried to compromise between our different relationship needs and just let me change everything I could about myself to try and be perfect for him. We're still friends and it's a lot better this way, but I'm down like 80 dollars that I spent on him and a whole lot of mental health that I shouldn't have wasted
talliloo 1 year ago
was diagnosed with degenerative disease at about the 10 yr mark of our marriage. we were married a little over 25 yrs when a bad flare had me having to use a wheelchair (it was only going to be temporary). he took one look at me in the chair and walked away. he later said it was "a shock". i left a couple of years later. btw: i still have a chair. i use it only once or twice a year and only if i have to go somewhere with uneven ground or the distance is too far to do without problems.
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)
I asked my (now ex) husband if he could come cuddle with me, because I was having trouble falling asleep; bear in mind, I was pulling 100% of the weight in the relationship, and almost never asked for anything because I knew from experience I was likely to be let down. His response was a completely flippant "I don't feel like it". Cried myself to sleep that night.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
I once said no to cuddles to my ex gf... cause it was about 90°, i was a sweatting mess and she was as hot as the devil's a*s, so that was a big no for me. We compromised in me caressing her hand until she felt asleep.
Load More Replies... Jro308 1 year ago
Mine left me at the hospital alone to give birth to our son because the doctor told him it could be a couple of hours of labor, he went to a friends at 8pm to get high and didn't come back until 9 the next morning. Our son was born at midnight. (this was before everyone had cells phones)
Dizzie D 1 year ago
This is very sad. So many people experiencing situations where all they wanted was love, kindness and respect. The women who had awful men on these posts should partner up with the men who had awful women. They would be perfect matches as they would care so much about each other.
Monarch cat lady 1 year ago
Punctured a lung broke 2 ribs bastard yelled at me cuz I asked him to sit with my handicapped mom until could get dad to get her home. I will NEVER EVER forget that day. Yup needed a chest tube in for over 24hrs then 2 days in-house at hospital
Rosie 1 year ago
As much as I'm appalled at some of the behaviors listed here, I do understand how easy it is to tolerate small offenses. I put up w/several "minor" issues in a 4-year relationship, things like double standards & dismissal of my feelings. He was also still married to his ex (but separated for *many* years). When he got a few thousand on a settlement, I asked him what he planned to do w/the $$$. I hoped he'd say get divorced at last, but he decided on buying a TV, not to upgrade ours, but something he could watch on his own (usually the same I was watching). I finally understood we had no future & he didn't like hanging out w/me anymore, just enjoyed me as caregiver, driver & organizer. Time to go.
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