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“I’ve Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds
Interview
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou uttered those words over two decades ago, but they will always ring true. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors, especially if you consider them to be a friend.
Redditors have recently been recalling times when they realized that a “friend” wasn’t actually who they thought they were, so we’ve gathered some of their most heartbreaking tales below. We sincerely hope that you can’t relate to any of these experiences, pandas. But if you can, remember that you deserve to have amazing friendships and that you can always cut out relationships that aren’t serving you. Keep reading to find a conversation with the user who started this thread, and be sure to upvote the stories that resonate with you.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When he threw a unopened can of coke at a homeless person. Stopped being his friend right then and there and I took the homeless women to get food and gave her money to go get replacement clothes from goodwill. I've never been so ashamed of someone before or after that.
RELATED:
#2
He was a co-worker that hadn’t been on the job long and I was tasked with training him. We worked a service route driving from job to job. He was in his van following me and I passed a turtle in the middle of the road on the painted line. I looked back in my rear view mirror in time to see him purposely swerve and run over the turtle. A*****e!
#3
He explained to me, after the George Floyd protests, that the outcome of the Civil War was wrong, and that Covid was the fault of black people. Never heard any kind of trash like that from him over twenty years. I stood up, told him I would never darken his threshold again and that we were through as friends. I’ve kept my word.
To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Just_want_advice_7, who invited others to share stories about their former friendships. The author was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how this thread came to be.
"I don’t know what really inspired me to ask this question," they shared. "I was in bed, sleepy and bored, so I thought, 'Why not ask this question?' I even realized later the next day that I didn’t type it well because I was almost half asleep."
#4
I'd always bought my best friend lunch in high school, Like everyday. Every when he had detention, I'd come by and drop him off food. This one week, I lost my wallet, so no money. Surprisingly he he had money that week I didn't have money. I asked him if he could get me lunch and straight up said no. I thought he was joking and then he just bought food and ate by himself. Made me really think people can be so greedy to their best friend. I stopped hanging out with him after that, and I didn't buy him food anymore.
(He didn't steal my wallet it was at my grandma's house.).
#5
My friend owns a very popular food truck in the south. She’s netting a half a million a year in revenue. She needed help for a big event, so I went down and worked for her this past July. I worked with one of her regular employees and I asked how the tips were usually split up. The girl told me that my friend keeps every single tip, and that she’s never seen one. This girl is 20 years old and in college and my friend is still taking the few hundred bucks from her. That money is a drop in the bucket for my friend, but life changing for that girl. At that point I realized true greed. Haven’t talked to her since.
#6
Left his wife and kids because he was in love with my wife, who wasn't interested in him at all. Then literally never saw his kids again and gave up all parental rights. Her next husband, also a friend of mine, adopted them and has been a great dad.
Unfortunately, the OP shared that they know how it feels to realize that a friend isn't a good person.
"I had an experience with a friend recently, she was a friend of 6 years," they told Bored Panda. "She was very dear to me, but suddenly, when I started university, she ghosted me then blocked me for no reason. That’s when I started realizing the red flags she had during our friendship."
#7
Going on our 30th year of being friends. Dating back to meeting in boot camp and years together afterwards in navy commands.
He became a US Marshall, early 2002, and it’s now 2020 and the riots were going strong.
I asked him some questions to learn about what the law enforcement community opinions were about the riots.
He said, and I quote, “all black people are f*****g animals!”
I told him we could not be friends anymore and blocked him.
#8
I started dating a really nice girl who worked in a jewelry store. After three or four dates, she told me that my roommate and supposed friend had stopped by the store to tell her my dad was an alcoholic. Which was true, but we both thought it was crude and strange that he did that.
I dumped him and married her. Still married 40 years later.
Kari Panda 2 months ago
This one is nice ^^ Not bexause of the roommate‘s betrayal obviously, but because OP‘s girlfriend had the courage and decency to talk to OP about it.
#9
He called his wife a c**t, to her face, in my house.
I told him “you’re not gonna call her a c**t in my house.”.
Just_want_advice_7 also noted that the replies to their post made them realize how often people get betrayed by their friends. And finally, they shared some advice for readers. "The moment you realize your friend is using you or isn’t a good person, stop being friends with them before it’s too late," the author told Bored Panda.
#10
That time he told me my trans cousin should be shot and it didn’t even occur to him that that’s my cousin. He said it like I was just meant to agree with him like “oh hey, this is what us regular people think when there’s no weirdos around, right?”
Haven’t spoken to him since.
Edit: the icing on the cake is how he just moved on to a different topic as though he didn’t just tell me he thought a member of my family should be executed cuz pronouns or something.
#11
When she and another friend of hers were mad at this guy they knew and she told me they were planning to sneak over to his house and “k*ll his dog” for revenge. (I don’t think they ever did it honestly but yeah, what a crazy b***h).
#12
I had a miscarriage, and in response to that news my best friend attached pictures of her own three-month-old baby, ostensibly to cheer me up, at the end of her condolence email (we had grown up together but settled in different cities). I was so stunned by this that I wasn't sure how to address it; I thought she had perhaps attached the pictures by mistake? She was after all my best friend of many years, so surely she wouldn't have been so insensitive-- so I didn't reply. For the sake of loving her, and I wanted to continue to love her, I decided it wasn't deliberate, but it was quite hurtful and it stayed on my mind.
At our next in-person visit, a few months later, she brought up that she had had the idea to send me the baby pictures but thought it "might hurt my feelings," but also that her baby "was just so cute!" so she asked her husband, a psychologist, if it would be cruel. He reassured her it would be fine, so she attached them. I was even more shocked by this revelation-- I could forgive thoughtlessness, but to have her say to my face that she'd thought it could hurt me, but went looking for permission to do it anyway because her baby was cute? Nah. It ended our friendship.
#14
He slept with my girlfriend, and they both gaslit me telling me it wasnt a big deal “she didnt think of me as her bf in her head”
And then sometime later she cheated on him and he was surprised…..
Andy Pandy 2 months ago
Been there, except he slept with my wife and he regretted it! Seen him once in 15 years even though we live in the same town and he actually hid in a shop from me behind a rack of clothes, loser.
#15
They were screaming in my face repeatedly that my dead mom is still alive in heaven after I had nicely asked them not to say that to me. Edit: my best friend from pre k until I was 22.
#16
When he straight lifted up his girlfriends shirt and bra while we were all chilling at another friend's house exposing her to all like 5 of us hanging out.
Susie Elle 2 months ago (edited)
Holy s**t, that's assault. Oh my god, what an absolute insanely vile thing to do.
#17
We walked past the gay pub in town and he ran up to it, opened the door and shouted “f**g*ts”!!
Twat.
#18
We lived in the same dorm and worked at the same place. I gave him a ride to work daily because he didn't have a car for a few months. The thought never occurred to me to ask for money because it I was going there anyway...why would I? He got a car and my car broke down. I asked for a ride. He asks me for gas money.
Steïcy Gya 2 months ago
I would have asked him for a refund for all of the days he was in my car.
#19
When I got a big promotion at work and she said “what, did no one else want it or something?” Knew right then she didn’t think I was deserving or qualified. Really took the wind out of my sails. She was one of the first people I told because I was excited about it.
#20
We went out clubbing and I happened to come across and old friend. She later was making jokes about him being “ugly” and “looking like an alien.” He was a burn victim and she knew that. She would also park in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities. She then leaked my phone number online having people harass me and thought she was doing something by dating my abusive ex bf. They lasted two weeks.
Margot Plummer 2 months ago
Isn't her parking in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities illegal?
#21
My best friend since 4th grade. We were inseparable, even when we grew up and had families of our own.
Then, one day, his wife told me a story about his time in art school.
He didn't go to art school. I did. It was my story.
He co-opted my life to his wife.
And while it was insignificant as an overall lie, it was still a lie that he never corrected or confessed to her.
I never looked at him the same. It changed who he was to me forever.
#22
They constantly downplay whatever it is you're sharing - life problems, emotions, general concerns etc. It was a sad realization.
#23
Not really a friend. Rather his mother.
When I was kid I used to hang out all the time with another kid whose mother was sort of the stereotypical Italian mother. Way too involved, a bit of a smotherer. But she seemed nice.
Once I stopped around his house (this was the 80s, so no cell phones) and he & his family wasn't home, but some other kids across the street called me over & I started hanging out with them. Fast forward an hour or so and the friend who wasn't home comes home with his parents. The mom comes over and invites me in their house to play Atari or something like that.
The other kids weren't invited, and it seemed rude to ditch the other kids, so guilt kicked in and I declined. Just seemed like the right thing to do, but friend's mom apparently took this as a slight. To teach me a lesson, she then ordered a pizza and when it arrived invited all the kids in their house - except me. Obviously the other kids went for the pizza and I got ditched, for trying to do the right thing.
I was so hurt by it I refused to hang out with her son again and that was pretty much the end of our friendship.
Lyoness 2 months ago
TF was wrong with that woman? You don't punish a kid for a perceived slight by turning around and excluding them in retaliation. That's the behaviour of a toddler.
Samsquatch & Monko 2 months ago
The toddlers I know are smarter than that. Well my second cousin excluded her little sister from mushroom finding and putting roly poly bugs into a container but her little sister is not to be trustworthy so that doesn’t count
Load More Replies...
#24
When I spent £100 on their birthday and they wouldn’t buy me a 69p drink.
Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈 2 months ago (edited)
I looked up the conversion rate every 100p is equal to £1. I don't like your *ex*friend. (For further clarification, I am aware of how the metric system works. I just was not aware of how it worked for money because I only use it for science)
#25
She talked poorly about every single person she knew/met.
Multa Nocte 2 months ago
It's interesting that people who speak poorly of others are just unwittingly revealing themselves. Sort of a "Shine the mirror on others so you won't see me" thing.
#26
He was caught stealing from another friend and instead of even pretending to apologize, he came up with a convoluted excuse to justify it.
#27
They purposely embarrass you in front of others, then expect you to get over it. They bully other people. (This was HS).
#28
Myself and a friend walked down an alley in the night and saw a drunkard pass out on steps, he looked in poor condition so I said nothing and friend said " we could rob this man and we would never be found out". So I say "don't be stupid, look at man's coat, he is veteran. Would not have much anyway". But he insisted and say "we can sell the medals". I felt disgusted, told that I do not want to see his face around our block again and that he no longer part of my friends. To be fair, we were hungry and desperate but I will not rob veteran of he's medals.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 months ago
I don't know about this one. What veteran on the street is wearing his medals?
#29
Less than 24 hours after having a brain tumor removed, he called and wanted me to bring him some weed.
#30
When everything was a competition.
What do you think ?
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
I had a best friend for about ~7 years. Then she fell into some weird ideological rabbit hole and our friendship ended when she just casually mentioned she supports conversion therapy. Don't need that kind of BS in my life.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 months ago
We always fought over the silliest of things, i honestly shouldve saw it then when shed argue over my hair color and wouldnt stop till id admit she was right (she wasnt), shed force me to play games i didnt like and threatened to stop being my friend if i didnt, it was grade school and tbh the cycle wouldve prolly continued if we didnt end up in seperate middle schools... i saw her again earlier this year, when she and i was on the same softball team, she changed a lot and im glad we had our season to be real friends
ShayXie 2 months ago
had a ldr, and when I finally went to go meet her for a long weekend, it was a disaster. Halfway through night 1, we saw a drunk girl kind of slither to the ground from her bar stool. I ran to go pick her up, and my xgf got pissy because she wanted to take pictures of her first. Ironically, she ended up beyond blackout drunk and I had to get help with carrying her to the car and eventually to the hotel room. I was only a year or two sober at the time and I was beyonnndddddddd fuming
Serena Myers 2 months ago
All, apparently, copy/pasted from Reddit by the "author" but to stop party poopers like me telling us all what the posts are going on about, the posts are "adult content" only, so non-Redditors have no idea.
Roberta Surprenant 2 months ago
Almost everything posted here is from Reddit, why would that surprise anyone?
Load More Replies...
Pixie T 2 months ago (edited)
My childhood best friend. We meton the first day of pre school so 3 years old. Then went from infants, juniors and high school together. Remained close after leaving school. When we were 25ish I came out as a lesbian. Over 20 years of friendship over with 3 simple words *I'm a lesbian*. Turns out she's super homophobic, she'd never even given a hint of that behaviour until then. That was 20 years ago and I recently saw her when I was out with my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I were holding hands as we walked and the ex friend gave us a disgusted look.
ThisIsMe 2 months ago
We were adults when we met (early 30s) and clicked right away. Over the years I didn't really see how I was always there for her and she was never really there for me. Always did the things she wanted to do, always did things at her house and not mine...but she was this way with everyone. Until a party where I knew very few people, and she cussed me out in front of everyone because I wasn't taking pictures (this was before camera phones were common, so literally would have to be carrying a digital camera around) which meant she wouldn't have photos after the party (never took them for herself). That was an eye-opening moment for me. I walked out, thought about the relationship, and stopped being at her beck and call. Her kids thought of me like an aunt, so I would still show up for their events but kept their mom at arms length after that.
AMaureen Dance 2 months ago
Always asking for help with stuff, but when you ask once, it's "Oh, I'm too busy to help my friends. I have better things to do." Next time you wanna borrow money from me, you can pay for your own new toy, b***h!
Veronika Doynikova 1 month ago
We were friends for eight years. Last year we were friends, we were writing an AU on the same document together and I wrote on it before she got online. She absolutely flipped out, took the entire friendgriup and turned the entire grade against me (my grade group was pretty small). I was crushed, alone and depressed for the entire school year until I was the one to apologize. She made the entire thing about her, I'm quoting here: "you know how you said you were depressed? I was double that." Jesus f***ing Christ. I ditched her and the entire fake clique she created a week later when my family moved. Good riddance
BookFanatic 1 month ago
Childhood best friend dropped me like a hot potato first day of middle school. The popular kids offered her a spot in their clique if she did so. I got my eleven-year-old revenge, though! I wrote "Kim H is a b***h" in a bathroom stall at the library. Lol
Stannous Flouride 2 months ago
I mentioned that I was going to the then recently opened Thai massage studio and my friend (and employer) said, "She was probably a prostitute." I still work for her but have never looked at her the same since.
Paulina 2 months ago (edited)
First he threw me under the bus with his conservative friends when discussing abortion. I refuse to have children and we discussed that many times before, with him offering to help me out if needed, but at that night pretended to be anti-abortion like his new friends and attack me. Then he came to my housewarming party few weeks later drunk and proceeded to drag me away from my guests for hours to non-apologize, to the point that others kept pulling me out of his grasp. That was the last drop. He changed too much and I couldn't support his actions anymore.
T'Mar of Vulcan 2 months ago
I had a friend who was mostly a penpal, but we called and visited over the years. She was always calling me about our mutual special interest and things she'd bought relating to it. One day I bought a book about the interest, and on my way home I had this flash of insight: I wasn't buying the book to read it - I was buying it TO TELL HER I HAD BOUGHT IT. Stopped doing that, and after that I discovered she only wanted to be friends if I was hanging on her every word and interested in exactly the same things. Also, I got irritated because she equated liking a certain genre of fanfic to being a lesbian (I'm not but REALLY?!) and started sending me articles about famous lesbians I'd never heard of. It seemed really weird to me, and we've had very little contact since. I do miss her, but REALLY?!!
Marybeth Weber 2 months ago
I had a friend/ work colleague who became my friend when she(married) had an affair and became obsessed with another work colleague(married) For months she called me and always obsessed about how this guy would do this and that and how he admired and respected me because I wouldn't have an affair with HIM. She admitted she became my friend because she couldn't see what he saw in me and she wanted to know why he was the way he was. She is now one of the ex friends and I have nothing to do with her. She was and probably still is someone who would always interrupt you mid-sentence and turn the conversation so it is about her. Gone and no regrets
Ionescu Popa 2 months ago
satanist deep state trying to move the attention from the fact they intend to fake the elections in trump's favor. "oh, non, how did it happened, we're such good people..."
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
I had a best friend for about ~7 years. Then she fell into some weird ideological rabbit hole and our friendship ended when she just casually mentioned she supports conversion therapy. Don't need that kind of BS in my life.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 months ago
We always fought over the silliest of things, i honestly shouldve saw it then when shed argue over my hair color and wouldnt stop till id admit she was right (she wasnt), shed force me to play games i didnt like and threatened to stop being my friend if i didnt, it was grade school and tbh the cycle wouldve prolly continued if we didnt end up in seperate middle schools... i saw her again earlier this year, when she and i was on the same softball team, she changed a lot and im glad we had our season to be real friends
ShayXie 2 months ago
had a ldr, and when I finally went to go meet her for a long weekend, it was a disaster. Halfway through night 1, we saw a drunk girl kind of slither to the ground from her bar stool. I ran to go pick her up, and my xgf got pissy because she wanted to take pictures of her first. Ironically, she ended up beyond blackout drunk and I had to get help with carrying her to the car and eventually to the hotel room. I was only a year or two sober at the time and I was beyonnndddddddd fuming
Serena Myers 2 months ago
All, apparently, copy/pasted from Reddit by the "author" but to stop party poopers like me telling us all what the posts are going on about, the posts are "adult content" only, so non-Redditors have no idea.
Roberta Surprenant 2 months ago
Almost everything posted here is from Reddit, why would that surprise anyone?
Load More Replies... Pixie T 2 months ago (edited)
My childhood best friend. We meton the first day of pre school so 3 years old. Then went from infants, juniors and high school together. Remained close after leaving school. When we were 25ish I came out as a lesbian. Over 20 years of friendship over with 3 simple words *I'm a lesbian*. Turns out she's super homophobic, she'd never even given a hint of that behaviour until then. That was 20 years ago and I recently saw her when I was out with my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I were holding hands as we walked and the ex friend gave us a disgusted look.
ThisIsMe 2 months ago
We were adults when we met (early 30s) and clicked right away. Over the years I didn't really see how I was always there for her and she was never really there for me. Always did the things she wanted to do, always did things at her house and not mine...but she was this way with everyone. Until a party where I knew very few people, and she cussed me out in front of everyone because I wasn't taking pictures (this was before camera phones were common, so literally would have to be carrying a digital camera around) which meant she wouldn't have photos after the party (never took them for herself). That was an eye-opening moment for me. I walked out, thought about the relationship, and stopped being at her beck and call. Her kids thought of me like an aunt, so I would still show up for their events but kept their mom at arms length after that.
AMaureen Dance 2 months ago
Always asking for help with stuff, but when you ask once, it's "Oh, I'm too busy to help my friends. I have better things to do." Next time you wanna borrow money from me, you can pay for your own new toy, b***h!
Veronika Doynikova 1 month ago
We were friends for eight years. Last year we were friends, we were writing an AU on the same document together and I wrote on it before she got online. She absolutely flipped out, took the entire friendgriup and turned the entire grade against me (my grade group was pretty small). I was crushed, alone and depressed for the entire school year until I was the one to apologize. She made the entire thing about her, I'm quoting here: "you know how you said you were depressed? I was double that." Jesus f***ing Christ. I ditched her and the entire fake clique she created a week later when my family moved. Good riddance
BookFanatic 1 month ago
Childhood best friend dropped me like a hot potato first day of middle school. The popular kids offered her a spot in their clique if she did so. I got my eleven-year-old revenge, though! I wrote "Kim H is a b***h" in a bathroom stall at the library. Lol
Stannous Flouride 2 months ago
I mentioned that I was going to the then recently opened Thai massage studio and my friend (and employer) said, "She was probably a prostitute." I still work for her but have never looked at her the same since.
Paulina 2 months ago (edited)
First he threw me under the bus with his conservative friends when discussing abortion. I refuse to have children and we discussed that many times before, with him offering to help me out if needed, but at that night pretended to be anti-abortion like his new friends and attack me. Then he came to my housewarming party few weeks later drunk and proceeded to drag me away from my guests for hours to non-apologize, to the point that others kept pulling me out of his grasp. That was the last drop. He changed too much and I couldn't support his actions anymore.
T'Mar of Vulcan 2 months ago
I had a friend who was mostly a penpal, but we called and visited over the years. She was always calling me about our mutual special interest and things she'd bought relating to it. One day I bought a book about the interest, and on my way home I had this flash of insight: I wasn't buying the book to read it - I was buying it TO TELL HER I HAD BOUGHT IT. Stopped doing that, and after that I discovered she only wanted to be friends if I was hanging on her every word and interested in exactly the same things. Also, I got irritated because she equated liking a certain genre of fanfic to being a lesbian (I'm not but REALLY?!) and started sending me articles about famous lesbians I'd never heard of. It seemed really weird to me, and we've had very little contact since. I do miss her, but REALLY?!!
Marybeth Weber 2 months ago
I had a friend/ work colleague who became my friend when she(married) had an affair and became obsessed with another work colleague(married) For months she called me and always obsessed about how this guy would do this and that and how he admired and respected me because I wouldn't have an affair with HIM. She admitted she became my friend because she couldn't see what he saw in me and she wanted to know why he was the way he was. She is now one of the ex friends and I have nothing to do with her. She was and probably still is someone who would always interrupt you mid-sentence and turn the conversation so it is about her. Gone and no regrets
Ionescu Popa 2 months ago
satanist deep state trying to move the attention from the fact they intend to fake the elections in trump's favor. "oh, non, how did it happened, we're such good people..."
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