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People are complete just by themselves, so we shouldn't think that we have to be with someone to be happy or fulfilled. It is especially important to keep in mind when the relationship isn’t making you happy or you feel like it’s always bringing you down instead of lifting you up.
The signs of a relationship ending with no way of making it better will be different for every couple, so it’s best to trust your instinct. Regardless, humans are curious, so Redditor Nonchalant_Calypso asked, “What was the moment you knew your relationship was over?” and people opened up about their heartbreaks.
More info: Reddit
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#1
When you feel alone and they're right next to you.
RELATED:
#2
She poisoned my cat Mr Noodle
RIP
Thanks everybody for the support, and if you're asking: yeah I got the police involved
TheAquarius1978 2 years ago
Dude.... The police would come for sure but it wouldn't be to arrest her, it would be to arrest me, Touch my cats and i Will f*****g murder you
#3
The day my mom passed away (the coroner hadn't even come for her body yet) with zero consideration on how I felt and what I was going through my ex-fiancé thought it was great idea and a good time to tell me he has been cheating on me for the last 6 years, and how sorry he was for it.
He wasn't sorry he did it, but he sorry because the other woman had lied to him about who she really was and he wanted me to comfort him because he felt betrayed by her....
When I promptly broke up with him, he asked "wait is this really goodbye?" how could you do this to me now?
#4
I was at my best friend's wedding. When he saw his bride walking down the aisle, he had a grin so big it looked like it could have exploded right off of his face. He was so happy to be marrying this person. And when I thought about my, now-ex, gf I realized that I just didn't feel that way about her.
I will say, when I married my wife, I was grinning like an idiot.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
It’s not ‘grinning like an idiot’ it’s ‘grinning like a man in love’
#5
When I was going through a miscarriage and he couldn’t take me to the ER because he was in fantasy leagues and football was on.
#6
Married for 21 years. The last ten were devoid of any love, warmth, or caring. I (M53) did not want to get divorced and figured this was just the way the rest of my life would be.
We were taking our third shot at marriage counseling and after a few months, my wife says she has to quit counseling because she wants to attend a meditation class at the same time. She had something better to do than work on our marriage.
That's when it hit me that she didn't GAF at all about our marriage and I decided that I did not want that to be the rest of my life.
We're currently 2 1/2 years into divorce. It's painful and expensive. But personally I've never been happier. I am leading my best life. So so glad I decided to move on.
#7
When after 7 years, a particularly cold conversation, and with tears in my eyes I said, "I just want you to love me" and she said
"Well I dont, and dont you feel pathetic for having to ask?"
Edit: This was 5 years ago now and I am doing so much better. The best love is self love.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
Jerk! B!tch! Lowlife scum of worms! She’s awful! I’m glad you’re in a better space now, she was awful.
#8
My ex & I were not living together, but he had the key to my place. I told him that I was gonna go see my parents for the weekend, but then changed my mind last minute because I started feeling sick. I forgot to tell him & just went home after work & went to bed. I woke up around 10pm to get a glass of water & while I was in the kitchen I heard someone fumbling at the door with the lock. I freaked out because I lived on the 17th floor, so if it was a break in, I was f****d. All of a sudden he walks in..... dragging a tipsy girl in behind him.
I just stood there while he tried to make up some sort of excuse as to WHY he was there. The girl was pretty shocked too.
#9
When you dread her name coming up on caller ID because you knew it was an argument about nothing. Don’t settle for an angry life.
#10
3 weeks before we broke up she described the kind of guy she would date if we broke up. She described her coworker and I honestly thought they had hooked up by this point. To my delight, he was a good noodle and never wanted to be more than work friends with her. When he found out she left me to be with him he reached out and told me he was sorry for everything even though it wasn't his fault. I told him I'm not holding anything against him, but thanked him for being a good person
#11
She had picked on me for months. Constantly criticizing everything. I couldn't do anything right. I tried. I kissed her a*s and apologized for every single perceived wrongdoing.
After months one day I told her, calmly, you're mean to me.
She blew up. Veins came out and she did that weird growl/yelling thing and told me she'd cut my throat and burn down my house.
I left with my kids to my parents house. Came back the next day she was gone. Haven't seen her since. And strangely, my anxiety is all but gone
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
She was DEFINITELY a narcissist. Once they realize they don’t have a grip on you anymore, they rage and go bonkers.
#12
The moment he "accidentally" sent me a text that was supposedly meant for someone else, making plans to hook up at his house. My only response to that was "OK, be safe".
I added quotes because I suspected that he did this on purpose to try and get me to break up with him, expecting some sort of angry response from me. He didn't get that, although I did get an earful from him a couple weeks down the line about how he "never found me attractive physically or romantically". To which I responded, "OK" and never talked to him again.
To this day, I will never understand why some people choose to play games rather than just be upfront. No matter, I'm now happily married to an amazing person!
sreneeallan@yahoo.com 2 years ago
This is called avoidance - he doesn't want to be the one to end it and have to take the responsibility for the decision. Plus - you're no drama queen anyway, so - well played!
#13
She told me that I had a choice. Either I completely cut ties with ALL of my family and ALL of my friends. Or I cut ties with her. That was when I decided that her psycho had crossed a line that I wouldn't break. Very glad I dodged a bullet, very sad I lost close to 4 years of my life before I realized she was psycho.
#14
You can see it in their eyes when they don't love you anymore.
I'll never forget that feeling.
Gabby Ghoul 2 years ago
I remember that feeling only it wasn't that she didn't love me, it's that in our case love just wasn't enough and we both knew it.
#15
When she came up on caller id and my first thought was "Ugh.".
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
This also happens with narcissistic friends! I know cause whenever she would call/text me I’d also think ‘ugh’
#16
When she said “ you don’t look like you are going anywhere with your life “
I was 18 in the middle of college where the hell was I suppose to be at that point
#17
When I had fertility tests done after 2 years of trying to fall pregnant.
He left me the same day I found out I was infertile.
Nathaniel 2 years ago
What a f*****g twatbasket. Your only worth was a breeder? He wasn't a man worth knowing.
Kate 2 years ago
My grandfather left my grandmother when my mom was a few months old -- because she was the third daughter.
Load More Replies...
Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
My coworker did this to his wife. He was cheating and looking for a way out so when he found out she was infertile he used that as his excuse. I have no time for that oxygen thief.
debrina blackmoon 2 years ago
Ha-"oxygen thief"! Yes, a total waste of atoms assholecurse.
Load More Replies...
Lkmarr 2 years ago
The opposite happened with me. I could have kids and my husband couldn’t have cared less. I finally told him IVF or the marriage. We have 2 kids who I wouldn’t trade for anything but sure wish I had walked away back then.
Lenka Smetanová 2 years ago
in this case, yes. This is definitely wrong... but... I can understand it as, ots one of the things that can be important to that person. And even if not that moment, lately it could destroy the relationship fully. Its understandable that some things can deconstruct the whole relationship. And its better to end it sooner, and for example just stay distant friends or something, than destroy the whole relationship fully. Of course, not in this particular example- here the man is an ***hole. But wanting biological kids can be a problem in relationship later on. And its actually quite important to think it through about it, when you find out about infertility. Many people think, they can overcome it, even adopt a child and then find out, they just want their own child.
Load More Replies... sreneeallan@yahoo.com 2 years ago
Doesn't sound like parent material anyway. You have options, he's just a loser.
Jessany Trotter 2 years ago
You’re a hell of a lot more than it’s an incubator. It isn’t your fault you’re infertile. Hugs
Shelby Minchew 2 years ago
How heart-wrenching. I really don't know to do thumbs-up or thumbs-down on these!! Thumbs up because some are so sad and painful and my heart to those people for sharing and thumbs-down b/c some people are just such assholes!!!
#18
I was going through a cancer scare. She didn’t come with me to any appointments because she didn’t want to miss class. She was my best friend and the only person in the city who I told about what was happening. She, however, told several of her friends and classmates and let the news spread through our program (I think she liked the second-hand sympathy). She minimized everything, told me I was overreacting when I went to her for support, and told me I’d feel better if I just stopped touching the mass. When it came time to decide what to do when our lease ended, I chose to move home to be with my family. We broke it off, she moved out, and two days later I was diagnosed with cancer.
I know it sounds bad, but I’m better for having gone through it. I’ll always hold that cancer was one of the best things to happen to me.
#19
When he proposed to me in front of a crowd of over 3,000 people, at a job we BOTH worked at, just two weeks after we had gotten into one of the worst fights we had ever had. What was the topic of the fight? He had joked about proposing and I told him I didn’t feel ready to be married.
The relationship lasted for about 6 months after that, but the ring never felt like anything more than a shackle.
Weed in the Garden 2 years ago
He cornered you like an animal and didn't think you had the courage to get out.
#20
Found nude pictures of her and some other dude on the family camera and they were taken on our couch in our living room in our house.
#21
He had a can of drink, asked if anyone wanted any (we were in a group)..I said yes please so he poured it in the bin.
Sounds minor, but this was the last thing after alot of s**t.
#22
I would always be the one to initiate talking and taking part in activities together. I realized I was the only one putting effort in.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
Ughh this is me in like every relationship even friendships. I’m so done initiating
#23
When I realized I dreaded Fridays, our standard date night, and saw it as something I needed to get past before I could start enjoying the weekend.
sreneeallan@yahoo.com 2 years ago
LIfe's too short to waste a day - end it now and say what you need to say.
#24
We used to get in some real bad arguments. These arguments would often end in her hitting me. Once in a while, she'd really go to town on me. I can take a hit, but she could throw a punch. Girl had a hell of right hook. Years of that, off and on.
Anyway, one evening, one such argument turns into her just wailing on me. And I finally snapped. I pushed her up against the wall and was ready to hit her back. Just for a moment.
I didn't. I walked away. The fight didn't end there, and the relationship didn't end that night. But I walked away for good not long after.
#25
When her Dad, who i had just met, told her to stop being a b***h or she would lose me. (looking back at it, she was being a total b***h, but it was her dad saying it that opened my eyes.) We broke up after her parents left.
#26
I got into a car accident and called him and he didn't care
#27
He stopped talking to me 3 days into a 3 week holiday, I made the best of it, once home the silent treatment continued for another 3 weeks. He rolls over in bed one morning and starts talking like nothing happened. I should have ended it long before, but THAT was the moment I knew it was over.
#28
I hadn't slept in our bed for 18 months and asked "Don't you even miss me in here?"
"No"
Edit: I offered to sleep in the guest room due to my snoring (weight gain, stress of working several jobs, and general stress of life/marriage). We never slept in the same bed again.
I now know after therapy I was immensely depressed and am much better at taking care of myself both physically and mentally.
While the marriage didn't recover, we have 2 amazing kids and my headspace is much more free.
LoudMansLover 2 years ago
This is sad, but a side note: some couples prefer sleeping alone. My husband snores terribly and has restless leg syndrome. I take forever to fall asleep & am an insomniac. We have seperate rooms & have been happily married going on 17 years now :)
#29
When we were arguing for the umpteenth time and I lost the will to continue. I usually begged her to stay but I just told her to go
#30
When I saw how she completely changed when her boss was around. She became much more pleasant, flirty, and amenable. That's when I realized the only reason she was dating me was in hopes it would make her boss jealous enough to leave his wife for her.
What do you think ?
Nathaniel 2 years ago
They said that pineapple does not belong on pizzas. I quickly showed them the door.
Whitefox 2 years ago
Things had been bad for years. I was super depressed, to the point that I often prayed to just not wake up anymore. He was an emotionally, fiscally and physically abusive serial cheater. I'd been talking to a catholic priest about my relationship expecting him to push for reconciliation, but even he said I needed to get out! Then a few weeks later, the sound of my car being pulled out of its parking spot in order to be repoed for the second time in 3 months just snapped everything into focus. I walked into the living room and told him the rent was paid for 3 more weeks, I'd be moved out by the weekend, what he did after that was not my concern. I'b been working crazy hours to try and keep us afloat because he quit his job and was not trying to find another while he was drinking and had gotten hooked on pain killers..I was just done. 12 years later and I am married to my best friend.
Moezzzz 2 years ago
Mine was when I was in ICU with double pneumonia. I had two tubes in my chest to drain the fluid and had a very high fever. I didn't really come around until 4 days in, and that's when I found out he had been talking to someone else and he never came to see me. He did, however, call me to scream at me because someone at the hospital told him I'd had 2 blood transfusions and he demanded to know "what I had" because obviously I had to have my blood cleaned, so I better tell him. Yeah. Nevermind I almost died. He made my life a living hell but I had the last laugh. He'd been a fire captain but was a horrible drunk. He was fired from the dept for drinking on the job, then lost his side business and eventually married AND divorced within the next 5 years. Karma does not play
Deborah B 2 years ago
My therapist asked me if I wanted to be in my relationship, or if I just wanted to be able to say that I was in a relationship. It was a gut check moment for me. This was several years ago, and I'm out as Ace and Aro, and much happier in myself. Being in a relationship that doesn't fit is like wearing shoes a size too small.
InvincibleRodent 2 years ago
For me, it was realizing one day that either I break up with this person, or stay with them for the rest of our lives, and I just could not imagine the latter in any sort of pleasant way. Best I could imagine was a sort of... resigned acceptance, and that's not something I want from my life, nor do I want to waste either of our time trying to continue.
Kat 2 years ago
Somehow it hits hard. I feel like that sometimes when we fight over stupid stuff and he gets so petty and does small petty things just to p**s me off... Currently I'm not sure if it's something I want to put up with for the rest of my life. It isn't a big deal, but...
Load More Replies...
Seedy Vine 2 years ago
I played him some blues music. He made a racist remark. I was outta there.
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
Never stay for the kids; never think that your partner is the best you can do; never say isnbetter thhan being lonely; never say 'it's just how he/she is'; never think you've invested too much time to loose it all; and if you have to leave but aren't in the best place: open new bank account, sace, get all your important documents, confide in some for a safe place until you arenback in your feet, LAWYER UP, screenshot everything, once again lawyer up and save as much as you can.
Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
He wanted me to give him sex whenever he wanted it, even if I didn't. I had a horrible kidney infection and he asked my doctor if he could catch it during sex. He wanted sex even when I was in agony. He told me that no one else would put up with my mental health issues so I *owed* him. I spent a month in a psychiatric hospital because every time he f****d me, I would be contemplating the best way to kill myself. I left him 16 years ago and have no regrets.
Patti Vance 2 years ago
married for 32 yrs. over the last 5 i discovered just how deceitful he was and how far he was willing to go to be an a*****e. i was diagnosed with a degenerative disease but i wasn't an invalid. there were other issues that has been building up as well. he had a home office downstairs but apparently one night he was too lazy to go down to his computer and used my laptop...but didn't close it out. woke up to find an ad of sorts (way before tinder and those kind of apps, btw) in which he proclaimed that he really did love his wife but because of her disability wanted/needed a friends with benefit relationship. i figured if he was basically looking for a pity f*ck then he really had become someone i didn't know any longer. confronted him with it and, not surprisingly, he was at a loss for words. told him that he really needed to do some soul searching if he felt the only way he could garner attention was to try to play on some woman's sympathies. but, there is alway karma.
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
Almost 4 years in, she tells me one day that she didn't love me and never had; she'd married me because she thought she was getting too old to NOT be married.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
All of these sound so standard I wonder why we have not found some cure for this, other than couples' counselling, which doesn't work and is just the precursor to separation. I mean I could just put my name next to any of them.
ZenChickChristine 2 years ago
First strike was him coming on to a mutual friend (and then gaslighting me about it). Strike two was an actual affair. Still naively tried to make it work. Third strike and ultimate nail in the coffin was when he got jealous of the amount of time I spent helping my parents while my dad was dying from ALS. Stayed in that loveless shell of a marriage for another two years because I was just too broken to see any other way. Thankfully I finally got strong enough to walk, and today I am married to a loving and truly supportive partner.
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
My ex didn't live in my city so would stay over from Friday through Sunday. I'm an only child and live alone. I started to resent her coming over because it meant I could never go out with my friends (she knew them but would always claim she had a headache every time we were on our way to meet them) like I used to nor catch up with my friend who live out of state online. We also worked together and always had lunch so I felt like not coming over every weekend wasnt a big deal. We spent every day together. In her defense, I dont like talking on the phone nor am I really a texter so when she wasnt or wat work I wasnt the most conversational person.
Exotic Butters 2 years ago
Ya know, neither my hubs or I ditched. I don't think we're the perfect couple but t he is good to me and I am good to him. He has cancer now, kidney with metastasis to his lungs. Don't know what I'll do without this good man.
Isa 2 years ago
I'm single for about 14 years and every time that I think that I would like to have someone to be with, I see this kind of posts and experiences, and that makes me realize that I'm pretty well as a single person. This experiences and the dating apps experiences..dear lord, I prefer to be alone than to handle the BS and heartbreaking of a relationship.
Joshua Moore 2 years ago
I believe I've posted something similar to this before, but here goes. I've been divorced now for more than 6 years and I have 2 wonderful teenagers from my 11 marriage. I'm glad I got out when I did. We did counseling for a number of years, but I lost my faith in us whenever she brought up something in our counseling of more than 2 years, that she brought up during our very first session. I knew at that point in time, it was over, because she couldn't ever let anything go and we were just wasting money, time & energy at this point in time and we were doing nothing but fighting all the time. We both grew up in households where our parents didn't respect each other and we promised each other, we would never do that to our children. I waited for the school year to end for our children, I moved out and we were divorced roughly 6 months later. We have a very good co-parenting relationship and I'd dare say, even friendship as well. Don't stay in a bad relationship for any reason. Get o
Nathaniel 2 years ago
They said that pineapple does not belong on pizzas. I quickly showed them the door.
Whitefox 2 years ago
Things had been bad for years. I was super depressed, to the point that I often prayed to just not wake up anymore. He was an emotionally, fiscally and physically abusive serial cheater. I'd been talking to a catholic priest about my relationship expecting him to push for reconciliation, but even he said I needed to get out! Then a few weeks later, the sound of my car being pulled out of its parking spot in order to be repoed for the second time in 3 months just snapped everything into focus. I walked into the living room and told him the rent was paid for 3 more weeks, I'd be moved out by the weekend, what he did after that was not my concern. I'b been working crazy hours to try and keep us afloat because he quit his job and was not trying to find another while he was drinking and had gotten hooked on pain killers..I was just done. 12 years later and I am married to my best friend.
Moezzzz 2 years ago
Mine was when I was in ICU with double pneumonia. I had two tubes in my chest to drain the fluid and had a very high fever. I didn't really come around until 4 days in, and that's when I found out he had been talking to someone else and he never came to see me. He did, however, call me to scream at me because someone at the hospital told him I'd had 2 blood transfusions and he demanded to know "what I had" because obviously I had to have my blood cleaned, so I better tell him. Yeah. Nevermind I almost died. He made my life a living hell but I had the last laugh. He'd been a fire captain but was a horrible drunk. He was fired from the dept for drinking on the job, then lost his side business and eventually married AND divorced within the next 5 years. Karma does not play
Deborah B 2 years ago
My therapist asked me if I wanted to be in my relationship, or if I just wanted to be able to say that I was in a relationship. It was a gut check moment for me. This was several years ago, and I'm out as Ace and Aro, and much happier in myself. Being in a relationship that doesn't fit is like wearing shoes a size too small.
InvincibleRodent 2 years ago
For me, it was realizing one day that either I break up with this person, or stay with them for the rest of our lives, and I just could not imagine the latter in any sort of pleasant way. Best I could imagine was a sort of... resigned acceptance, and that's not something I want from my life, nor do I want to waste either of our time trying to continue.
Kat 2 years ago
Somehow it hits hard. I feel like that sometimes when we fight over stupid stuff and he gets so petty and does small petty things just to p**s me off... Currently I'm not sure if it's something I want to put up with for the rest of my life. It isn't a big deal, but...
Load More Replies... Seedy Vine 2 years ago
I played him some blues music. He made a racist remark. I was outta there.
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
Never stay for the kids; never think that your partner is the best you can do; never say isnbetter thhan being lonely; never say 'it's just how he/she is'; never think you've invested too much time to loose it all; and if you have to leave but aren't in the best place: open new bank account, sace, get all your important documents, confide in some for a safe place until you arenback in your feet, LAWYER UP, screenshot everything, once again lawyer up and save as much as you can.
Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
He wanted me to give him sex whenever he wanted it, even if I didn't. I had a horrible kidney infection and he asked my doctor if he could catch it during sex. He wanted sex even when I was in agony. He told me that no one else would put up with my mental health issues so I *owed* him. I spent a month in a psychiatric hospital because every time he f****d me, I would be contemplating the best way to kill myself. I left him 16 years ago and have no regrets.
Patti Vance 2 years ago
married for 32 yrs. over the last 5 i discovered just how deceitful he was and how far he was willing to go to be an a*****e. i was diagnosed with a degenerative disease but i wasn't an invalid. there were other issues that has been building up as well. he had a home office downstairs but apparently one night he was too lazy to go down to his computer and used my laptop...but didn't close it out. woke up to find an ad of sorts (way before tinder and those kind of apps, btw) in which he proclaimed that he really did love his wife but because of her disability wanted/needed a friends with benefit relationship. i figured if he was basically looking for a pity f*ck then he really had become someone i didn't know any longer. confronted him with it and, not surprisingly, he was at a loss for words. told him that he really needed to do some soul searching if he felt the only way he could garner attention was to try to play on some woman's sympathies. but, there is alway karma.
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
Almost 4 years in, she tells me one day that she didn't love me and never had; she'd married me because she thought she was getting too old to NOT be married.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
All of these sound so standard I wonder why we have not found some cure for this, other than couples' counselling, which doesn't work and is just the precursor to separation. I mean I could just put my name next to any of them.
ZenChickChristine 2 years ago
First strike was him coming on to a mutual friend (and then gaslighting me about it). Strike two was an actual affair. Still naively tried to make it work. Third strike and ultimate nail in the coffin was when he got jealous of the amount of time I spent helping my parents while my dad was dying from ALS. Stayed in that loveless shell of a marriage for another two years because I was just too broken to see any other way. Thankfully I finally got strong enough to walk, and today I am married to a loving and truly supportive partner.
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
My ex didn't live in my city so would stay over from Friday through Sunday. I'm an only child and live alone. I started to resent her coming over because it meant I could never go out with my friends (she knew them but would always claim she had a headache every time we were on our way to meet them) like I used to nor catch up with my friend who live out of state online. We also worked together and always had lunch so I felt like not coming over every weekend wasnt a big deal. We spent every day together. In her defense, I dont like talking on the phone nor am I really a texter so when she wasnt or wat work I wasnt the most conversational person.
Exotic Butters 2 years ago
Ya know, neither my hubs or I ditched. I don't think we're the perfect couple but t he is good to me and I am good to him. He has cancer now, kidney with metastasis to his lungs. Don't know what I'll do without this good man.
Isa 2 years ago
I'm single for about 14 years and every time that I think that I would like to have someone to be with, I see this kind of posts and experiences, and that makes me realize that I'm pretty well as a single person. This experiences and the dating apps experiences..dear lord, I prefer to be alone than to handle the BS and heartbreaking of a relationship.
Joshua Moore 2 years ago
I believe I've posted something similar to this before, but here goes. I've been divorced now for more than 6 years and I have 2 wonderful teenagers from my 11 marriage. I'm glad I got out when I did. We did counseling for a number of years, but I lost my faith in us whenever she brought up something in our counseling of more than 2 years, that she brought up during our very first session. I knew at that point in time, it was over, because she couldn't ever let anything go and we were just wasting money, time & energy at this point in time and we were doing nothing but fighting all the time. We both grew up in households where our parents didn't respect each other and we promised each other, we would never do that to our children. I waited for the school year to end for our children, I moved out and we were divorced roughly 6 months later. We have a very good co-parenting relationship and I'd dare say, even friendship as well. Don't stay in a bad relationship for any reason. Get o
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