People are complete just by themselves, so we shouldn't think that we have to be with someone to be happy or fulfilled. It is especially important to keep in mind when the relationship isn’t making you happy or you feel like it’s always bringing you down instead of lifting you up.
The signs of a relationship ending with no way of making it better will be different for every couple, so it’s best to trust your instinct. Regardless, humans are curious, so Redditor Nonchalant_Calypso asked, “What was the moment you knew your relationship was over?” and people opened up about their heartbreaks.
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When you feel alone and they're right next to you.
She poisoned my cat Mr Noodle
RIP
Thanks everybody for the support, and if you're asking: yeah I got the police involved
Dude.... The police would come for sure but it wouldn't be to arrest her, it would be to arrest me, Touch my cats and i Will f*****g murder you
The day my mom passed away (the coroner hadn't even come for her body yet) with zero consideration on how I felt and what I was going through my ex-fiancé thought it was great idea and a good time to tell me he has been cheating on me for the last 6 years, and how sorry he was for it.
He wasn't sorry he did it, but he sorry because the other woman had lied to him about who she really was and he wanted me to comfort him because he felt betrayed by her....
When I promptly broke up with him, he asked "wait is this really goodbye?" how could you do this to me now?
I was at my best friend's wedding. When he saw his bride walking down the aisle, he had a grin so big it looked like it could have exploded right off of his face. He was so happy to be marrying this person. And when I thought about my, now-ex, gf I realized that I just didn't feel that way about her.
I will say, when I married my wife, I was grinning like an idiot.
It’s not ‘grinning like an idiot’ it’s ‘grinning like a man in love’
When I was going through a miscarriage and he couldn’t take me to the ER because he was in fantasy leagues and football was on.
Married for 21 years. The last ten were devoid of any love, warmth, or caring. I (M53) did not want to get divorced and figured this was just the way the rest of my life would be.
We were taking our third shot at marriage counseling and after a few months, my wife says she has to quit counseling because she wants to attend a meditation class at the same time. She had something better to do than work on our marriage.
That's when it hit me that she didn't GAF at all about our marriage and I decided that I did not want that to be the rest of my life.
We're currently 2 1/2 years into divorce. It's painful and expensive. But personally I've never been happier. I am leading my best life. So so glad I decided to move on.
When after 7 years, a particularly cold conversation, and with tears in my eyes I said, "I just want you to love me" and she said
"Well I dont, and dont you feel pathetic for having to ask?"
Edit: This was 5 years ago now and I am doing so much better. The best love is self love.
Jerk! B!tch! Lowlife scum of worms! She’s awful! I’m glad you’re in a better space now, she was awful.
My ex & I were not living together, but he had the key to my place. I told him that I was gonna go see my parents for the weekend, but then changed my mind last minute because I started feeling sick. I forgot to tell him & just went home after work & went to bed. I woke up around 10pm to get a glass of water & while I was in the kitchen I heard someone fumbling at the door with the lock. I freaked out because I lived on the 17th floor, so if it was a break in, I was f****d. All of a sudden he walks in..... dragging a tipsy girl in behind him.
I just stood there while he tried to make up some sort of excuse as to WHY he was there. The girl was pretty shocked too.
When you dread her name coming up on caller ID because you knew it was an argument about nothing. Don’t settle for an angry life.
3 weeks before we broke up she described the kind of guy she would date if we broke up. She described her coworker and I honestly thought they had hooked up by this point. To my delight, he was a good noodle and never wanted to be more than work friends with her. When he found out she left me to be with him he reached out and told me he was sorry for everything even though it wasn't his fault. I told him I'm not holding anything against him, but thanked him for being a good person
She had picked on me for months. Constantly criticizing everything. I couldn't do anything right. I tried. I kissed her a*s and apologized for every single perceived wrongdoing.
After months one day I told her, calmly, you're mean to me.
She blew up. Veins came out and she did that weird growl/yelling thing and told me she'd cut my throat and burn down my house.
I left with my kids to my parents house. Came back the next day she was gone. Haven't seen her since. And strangely, my anxiety is all but gone
She was DEFINITELY a narcissist. Once they realize they don’t have a grip on you anymore, they rage and go bonkers.
The moment he "accidentally" sent me a text that was supposedly meant for someone else, making plans to hook up at his house. My only response to that was "OK, be safe".
I added quotes because I suspected that he did this on purpose to try and get me to break up with him, expecting some sort of angry response from me. He didn't get that, although I did get an earful from him a couple weeks down the line about how he "never found me attractive physically or romantically". To which I responded, "OK" and never talked to him again.
To this day, I will never understand why some people choose to play games rather than just be upfront. No matter, I'm now happily married to an amazing person!
This is called avoidance - he doesn't want to be the one to end it and have to take the responsibility for the decision. Plus - you're no drama queen anyway, so - well played!
She told me that I had a choice. Either I completely cut ties with ALL of my family and ALL of my friends. Or I cut ties with her. That was when I decided that her psycho had crossed a line that I wouldn't break. Very glad I dodged a bullet, very sad I lost close to 4 years of my life before I realized she was psycho.
You can see it in their eyes when they don't love you anymore.
I'll never forget that feeling.
I remember that feeling only it wasn't that she didn't love me, it's that in our case love just wasn't enough and we both knew it.
When she came up on caller id and my first thought was "Ugh.".
This also happens with narcissistic friends! I know cause whenever she would call/text me I’d also think ‘ugh’
When she said “ you don’t look like you are going anywhere with your life “
I was 18 in the middle of college where the hell was I suppose to be at that point
When I had fertility tests done after 2 years of trying to fall pregnant.
He left me the same day I found out I was infertile.
I was going through a cancer scare. She didn’t come with me to any appointments because she didn’t want to miss class. She was my best friend and the only person in the city who I told about what was happening. She, however, told several of her friends and classmates and let the news spread through our program (I think she liked the second-hand sympathy). She minimized everything, told me I was overreacting when I went to her for support, and told me I’d feel better if I just stopped touching the mass. When it came time to decide what to do when our lease ended, I chose to move home to be with my family. We broke it off, she moved out, and two days later I was diagnosed with cancer.
I know it sounds bad, but I’m better for having gone through it. I’ll always hold that cancer was one of the best things to happen to me.
When he proposed to me in front of a crowd of over 3,000 people, at a job we BOTH worked at, just two weeks after we had gotten into one of the worst fights we had ever had. What was the topic of the fight? He had joked about proposing and I told him I didn’t feel ready to be married.
The relationship lasted for about 6 months after that, but the ring never felt like anything more than a shackle.
He cornered you like an animal and didn't think you had the courage to get out.
Found nude pictures of her and some other dude on the family camera and they were taken on our couch in our living room in our house.
He had a can of drink, asked if anyone wanted any (we were in a group)..I said yes please so he poured it in the bin.
Sounds minor, but this was the last thing after alot of s**t.
I would always be the one to initiate talking and taking part in activities together. I realized I was the only one putting effort in.
Ughh this is me in like every relationship even friendships. I’m so done initiating
When I realized I dreaded Fridays, our standard date night, and saw it as something I needed to get past before I could start enjoying the weekend.
LIfe's too short to waste a day - end it now and say what you need to say.
We used to get in some real bad arguments. These arguments would often end in her hitting me. Once in a while, she'd really go to town on me. I can take a hit, but she could throw a punch. Girl had a hell of right hook. Years of that, off and on.
Anyway, one evening, one such argument turns into her just wailing on me. And I finally snapped. I pushed her up against the wall and was ready to hit her back. Just for a moment.
I didn't. I walked away. The fight didn't end there, and the relationship didn't end that night. But I walked away for good not long after.
When her Dad, who i had just met, told her to stop being a b***h or she would lose me. (looking back at it, she was being a total b***h, but it was her dad saying it that opened my eyes.) We broke up after her parents left.
I got into a car accident and called him and he didn't care
He stopped talking to me 3 days into a 3 week holiday, I made the best of it, once home the silent treatment continued for another 3 weeks. He rolls over in bed one morning and starts talking like nothing happened. I should have ended it long before, but THAT was the moment I knew it was over.
I hadn't slept in our bed for 18 months and asked "Don't you even miss me in here?"
"No"
Edit: I offered to sleep in the guest room due to my snoring (weight gain, stress of working several jobs, and general stress of life/marriage). We never slept in the same bed again.
I now know after therapy I was immensely depressed and am much better at taking care of myself both physically and mentally.
While the marriage didn't recover, we have 2 amazing kids and my headspace is much more free.
This is sad, but a side note: some couples prefer sleeping alone. My husband snores terribly and has restless leg syndrome. I take forever to fall asleep & am an insomniac. We have seperate rooms & have been happily married going on 17 years now :)
When we were arguing for the umpteenth time and I lost the will to continue. I usually begged her to stay but I just told her to go
When I saw how she completely changed when her boss was around. She became much more pleasant, flirty, and amenable. That's when I realized the only reason she was dating me was in hopes it would make her boss jealous enough to leave his wife for her.
They said that pineapple does not belong on pizzas. I quickly showed them the door.
Things had been bad for years. I was super depressed, to the point that I often prayed to just not wake up anymore. He was an emotionally, fiscally and physically abusive serial cheater. I'd been talking to a catholic priest about my relationship expecting him to push for reconciliation, but even he said I needed to get out! Then a few weeks later, the sound of my car being pulled out of its parking spot in order to be repoed for the second time in 3 months just snapped everything into focus. I walked into the living room and told him the rent was paid for 3 more weeks, I'd be moved out by the weekend, what he did after that was not my concern. I'b been working crazy hours to try and keep us afloat because he quit his job and was not trying to find another while he was drinking and had gotten hooked on pain killers..I was just done. 12 years later and I am married to my best friend.
They said that pineapple does not belong on pizzas. I quickly showed them the door.
Things had been bad for years. I was super depressed, to the point that I often prayed to just not wake up anymore. He was an emotionally, fiscally and physically abusive serial cheater. I'd been talking to a catholic priest about my relationship expecting him to push for reconciliation, but even he said I needed to get out! Then a few weeks later, the sound of my car being pulled out of its parking spot in order to be repoed for the second time in 3 months just snapped everything into focus. I walked into the living room and told him the rent was paid for 3 more weeks, I'd be moved out by the weekend, what he did after that was not my concern. I'b been working crazy hours to try and keep us afloat because he quit his job and was not trying to find another while he was drinking and had gotten hooked on pain killers..I was just done. 12 years later and I am married to my best friend.