Girl’s Birthday Presents End Up In The Trash Because They Don’t Match Her Mom’s Aesthetic
Interview With ExpertYour birthday is always special, but especially for children, it can easily be the most exciting day of the year! Throwing a party, getting to pick out a delicious cake and getting to open up gifts from loved ones can be a magical experience. As long as you actually get to keep all of your presents, that is.
One aunt shared a story on Reddit detailing how the birthday presents she gave her niece ended up in the trash because her mom wasn’t a fan of them. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies readers shared and a conversation with Brooke Harris of Happy Simple Mom.
This woman picked out a birthday present for her niece that she knew she would love
Image credits: Thirdman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
So she was shocked to find out that only a few weeks later, the gift had ended up in the trash
Image credits: Pressmaster/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Prostock-studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman clarified a few more details about the situation
Image credits: Bright-Trick7886
“We give birthday presents to show love and friendship; we want to celebrate the person we are buying for”
To learn more about the etiquette of gift giving, we reached out to Brooke Harris. Brooke is the woman behind Happy Simple Mom, a site dedicated to providing practical tips and advice on decluttering and simple living, so you can find order in life and focus on what truly matters.
Image credits: mstandret / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share some of the most important things to keep in mind when giving gifts. Brooke noted that, while it’s impossible to know the dynamics of the family mentioned in the story, there are a few things to consider in general when navigating birthday presents. “As the giver of birthday presents, we give birthday presents to show love and friendship. We want to celebrate the person we are buying for, and it’s a way to show that we care,” she explained.
“In our consumer culture, sometimes we get so wrapped up in the thought that we must give something, that we forget to focus on what really matters, the person we are celebrating!” Brooke says. “As our kids collect more and more things, parents can quickly feel overwhelmed by the sudden inflow of items into their home.”
And if you want to ensure that your gifts are welcomed, the mom suggests reaching out to the parents and asking if their child has any interests right now. “Look for gifts that will peak their interests. You can also ask the child directly. If you know the parents are picky about what enters the home, then ask them for very specific ideas,” Brooke added.
Just remember that it’s the thought that counts when it comes to gifting. “You can’t get hurt feelings if it’s a duplicate, an item they don’t love, or is something that eventually gets returned,” Brooke noted. “In the end, it doesn’t matter, it’s the act of showing someone you care by celebrating them that matters!”
“If your child wants a gift, and it’s appropriate, then maybe give them the space to enjoy it”
When it comes to being the parent of a child receiving birthday presents, Brooke says she’s seen anything from parents saying “no gifts necessary” or “gift cards welcome” to please buy “XYZ” for my child. “I’ve even seen registries sent to friends and family members… For a birthday!”
Image credits: GalinkaZhi / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
“I get it. Clutter inflows aren’t fun. It can be overwhelming,” the mom says. But Brooke urges parents to think of their children first. “What do they love? If someone asks for ideas, then give them very specific ideas,” she suggests. “My child was once obsessed with building things out of Duct tape. I actually told one friend that Duct tape in bright colors would be a welcomed gift.”
Brooke added that it’s also important to understand that if you are hosting a party or know your child will be receiving gifts from family, there will be gifts received you might not have picked out on your own. “What matters is, does your child like it? As long as the gift is appropriate, then give them the space to enjoy it,” the mom says.
Sometimes, parents will also have to deal with unwanted presents. “My children have received gifts over the years that were not appropriate,” Brooke shared. “For example, one child got a book once where the material was a little mature for her. I stuck it back, and years later, I gave it to her again, reminding her of the gift giver.” She added that it can also be helpful to let your child exchange the gift for something else, if the original present was inappropriate for them.
“When it comes to unwanted gifts, it can be a balancing act of sorts,” Brooke says. “You never have to apologize for not wanting a gift and returning it. You like what you like. However, if your child wants a gift, and it’s appropriate, then maybe give them the space to enjoy it, at least for a time.”
“As the gift giver, know that the act of giving the gift is where it stops; you can’t control what happens next”
It can also be helpful to practice compassion in these situations. “In the case of this post, one of the items in question was a poster. It’s possible posters on the wall wouldn’t work in their home. It’s possible the parents HATE Minecraft and have been battling screen time addiction with their child,” Brooke noted. “A little compassion, from both sides, would go a long way.”
“That being said, it never hurts to give children their own space to curate their favorite things,” Brooke continued. The mom noted that she has one child who is super organized, with a clutter-free room, while her other child is a collector of all things. “Realizing the collecting child didn’t have the same desires as I did for a clutter-free space, I gave her the tools to showcase her proud possessions,” she noted.
Image credits: vozdvizhenskayadina / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
“Her room now has multiple shelving units built to showcase all her wonderful projects and collections. It’s not my style. It’s her style,” Brooke shared. “That’s okay, so long as we can walk into the room without having to shuffle our feet for fear of stepping on something!”
Finally, Brooke reminded us that gift giving should be a joyous experience, for both the giver and the receiver. “Recognize the person who gifted the item. Tell them thank you. Go as far as to actually write the gift-giver a thank you note! (Thank you notes are a lost practice that should be brought back.) That being said, as the gift giver, know that the act of giving the gift is where it stops. You can’t control what happens next,” she shared.
“As the parent of the gift receiver, let your child receive gifts with an open heart, without fear if mom/dad will allow them to keep the (appropriate) gift,” the mom added. “If the gift is not appropriate, talk about it as a family, and communicate openly.”
Readers assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong, and many called out the sister-in-law for taking away her daughter’s gift
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
That SIL is literally a sad beige mom. I can just picture her muted, colorless home and everyone wears muted, beige/grey/white clothes. Wonder what else goes on when no one is around in that family.
I feel so sorry for that little girl. I can't believe op's brother accused his sister of being an a*****e to his wife but is perfectly okay with his wife being an a*****e to his daughter.
Load More Replies...My mum gave my old alarm clock to a friend. I rarely used it anymore and just had it for decoration. One of those old/vintage ones with two metal bells on top. I was 11 and so very disappointed with my mum for not consulting me first. I‘m 50 now and never forgot. It was not about the clock - but about the fact that she decided over my stuff without giving it a second thought. Don‘t throw/give away your childs belongings.
Exactly. We never forget. I'm 42 now and I have never forgotten or forgiven my mom for throwing away my Magic: the Gathering cards when I was 11. Nor have I forgotten or forgiven her for getting rid of my pets when she decided SHE didn't like them any more (first my rabbit, then my dog, and finally my iguana) at different times when I was under 10 years old. She never told me beforehand, I just came home from school and another pet would be gone. I took care of them and cleaned up after them, too, it wasn't one of those "parents did all the work" things with my pets. My older sister tells me I need to spend more time with our mother now that Mom is 79 and I'll "regret" it once Mom dies. Ha. No. No, I won't. (I'm adopted and my sister is our parents' bio child, my sister NEVER had any of her stuff thrown away or gotten rid of.)
Load More Replies...The sis in law probley wants her daughter to be into barbie and unicorns and if someone actually buys her what she really wants it goes in the bin because it dosnt go with the little girl image... my kid loves fortnite and so do i when we play it 2gether ✌️
Superficial people shouldn’t have children. By throwing out her daughter’s birthday gifts because they did go with the decorations of the house is a definite parenting fail. SIL is narcissistic and superficial and a horrible mother.
I believe a bedroom that is designated to that individual gets the final say in what decor they want displayed as long as it is not harmful. Let the child decide its their room.
It's pretty sad for the OP's niece that she can't enjoy her gift. I hope the kind aunt will remain close - that girl will need an adult on her side. Kids don't always have great taste, nor should they have to. Most parents would just hold their noses and let the kid have fun with the gift. One of my fond memories as a babysitter: a 10-year-old shows off her first CD to her dad, he smiles as he holds it and pronounces it "Wonderful", turns to me with his eyes rolling and tongue out (she didn't see), then back to praising his daughter's compilation of c**p as if she had brought home a Deutsche Grammophon recording of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
Its pretty cut and dry... and Ive known several garbage people like that SIL. She's insane, arrogant and basically controlling human garbage. Hopefully the little girl will learn from what a nasty p.o.s. her "mother" is and be better. The husband/brother is a lost cause, he dug his own grave marrying a garbage person.
Growing up, my bedroom was VERY decorator coordinated. From the wallpaper to the comforter on the bed, it was ALL Laura Ashley's English Rose collection. Guess where my New Kids On The Block and Unicorn posters went? On the back of the bedroom door and the wall behind it, where they weren’t seen with the door open.
"back of the bedroom door" same for me. Toys had to be put away as soon as you finished playing with them and you couldn't invite friends over. It was all very sterile. A show home ready for visitors that never came.
Load More Replies...Oh god. I know people like these. A family of four where decor-wise, only one person is accounted for. It's so sad going into the room of an 11-year-old girl and her room looks like the bedroom of a 60-year-old man. Don't get me wrong. I love interior design. But if the money exists to worry about that, then the children should be able to design their rooms. And who the hell gets salty about a mug? Do they have open shelves? I collect mugs so I don't have two identical ones let alone a full set. In fact, I still have my mug from when I was 5. Would I buy it today? No, because I don't like the same things I liked back then. It's normal for kids to like s**t that adults aren't into.
SIL threw away her child's birthday gifts because they didn't match the color scheme in her home?? What?? Most parents are happy to see their child receiving gifts they enjoy. Some parents even take it a step further and thank person for said gift/s and might even send the gift giver a pic or message about their child enjoying the gift. Then, again, some parents are controlling a-holes who, honestly, shouldn't have children. SIL is a prime example of the latter. The fact the dad didn't have issues with his wife throwing away their child's birthday gifts and then twisting the argument between OP and SIL to be OPs fault speaks volumes. OP is definitely not the AH. I feel so sorry for that little girl.
OP needs to save up all the gift money to make sure they can have a place with a spare bedroom for the niece when she's a teen and refuses to live with her controlling mom anymore.
She'll have a meltdown once Evie is a teen and gets herself whatever she wants
No she'll just throw it out and then get confused why her kid doesnt like her.
Load More Replies...Totally agree with Mrs Irish Mom. I think that SIL is trying to downplay the Minecraft with the niece and the aunt was just collateral damage. Instead of being vindictive or miserly- I would agree with the purchase experiences for the niece or do what we do with our grandchildren. We noticed that the kids were swimming in toys at an early age- so instead of money or gift cards, we started putting money into StockPile (similar to RobinHood stocks) for them to choose stocks that they- the kids are interested in. They get a set amount for birthdays and Christmas gifts- and they are learning to invest. Amazingly they are doing well, and between the three kids (17M, 15M and 13F) the middle kid is doing best. Way better than the toys-to-trash as most things go as kids use them, and they learn how to invest. Better yet they will have a nice sum when they get too old for gifts from us.
But if it's a Minecraft obsession she has a a problem with, why not tell OP that? Why lie and make it into a giant row?
Load More Replies...The child's room should be her choice of decor. My mom let me choose new furniture for my room when I was 12. She showed me French Provincial, I chose campaign chest. She was going to let me get grape purple plush carpet but her money ran out.
poor kid.. She got something she was happy for , it was her gift..and Mom didn't even store it she just threw out the gift. This is disrespectful to both the kid and her aunt
I get why the kid loves Minecraft so much. It's the only place where she can be creative and play without the overbearing beige mom telling her how she should be.
This screams control issues. If you decide to get a kid you can't live in an aesthetic anymore, you need to let them choose things for themselves and have fun going from interest to interest. You're going to have to repaint their room when they grow out of their car/ princess/ whatever phase, and your Christmas tree (if you have one) will be messy and have strange paper cut outs from school that look horrible, but your kid is proud of. If you're such a sad and controlling person that you threw out your kid's Minecraft poster and cup because you don't like the colours then you shouldn't have gotten kids. Kids aren't a necessity or something you can't control anymore (in most countries) if OP's SIL doesn't want to give up her picture perfect house and have everything the way she wants, then she could have waited or just not had a kid. But now she does and she needs to but the kid and their life and interest over the colour of her coffee cups
If I had the room, I would literally make space for the kid at my house where she can have the things she likes. Mom is going to get worse unless she has therapy. Kid will need a safe space where she is not controlled
I loved how people were asking if they were having financial problems. If you are so pretentious that your house has a color scheme, like you’re trying to be a Kardashian, you don’t have money problems. The only poor behavior is the brother and sister-in-law’s part. They sound like horrible pieces of s**t.
A home why literally everything fits one color scheme and everything matches looks sterile, cold, and unwelcoming. A kid's room should not have to be part of mommy's special design scheme. And it's cruel to throw away your kid's gifts for such a petty reason.
Matching everything in my home is the least of my f*****g concerns as a parent.
Is this a "beige mom" thing? If so, it's disgusting. Children should be allowed to express themselves, within boundaries, in their own space. Boundaries meaning, without destruction or vandalism and with cleanliness factors in mind. This is awful if the parent threw away a child's present that was wanted because of a decor to be followed. Is everyone so obsessed with IG home trends that you are denying basic, developmental needs of children??? You people are sick, if so. Your children are not guests in your photogenic color scheme!!! Shame on you.
That poor child ... And the parents suck for not letting her enjoy her gifts ... Can't wait for the rebellious teenage years to hit ... Taking away your kids gifts that are age suitable just because of your aesthetic is just low ... And abusive
All these comments focus on the OP. I would be more worried about the niece and what other types of abuse she is subjected to. This is child abuse. The OP needs to figure out how to help her niece and be a safe harbor for her. I don't know exactly how she can do that but she needs to start ASAP.
The poll is asking the wrong question. Should parents as the gift RECIPIENT before discarding the gift....yes. especially if the recipient is old enough to make an informed decision. Being forced into the mom's design niche for her personal space is borderline abusive. The poster could have gone on her bedroom wall, and the cup could have been a water cup on her nightstand. It wouldn't see the rest of the house except when the cup needs to be washed. What's the problem???
uh i think its important for parents to check with their CHILDREN. screw the gift-giver, its not theirs once its given, but that poor child????? i was surprised how many people were only focused on how OP would feel in the replies. btw im not literally saying its fine to trash someones present, thats still really rude under at least 90% of circumstances, but thats not the biggest issue here
If your color scheme or home decor is more important to you than your child's happiness, you're an incredibly selfish parent. With exceptions of course: if the parent has sensory/medical issues and the brightness/colors of the gift create a problem for the parent. Or if the gift is so outlandishly big that you don't have space for it. But if it's just something they can put in the kid's room without creating problems, then there's no reason the kid can't enjoy their gift. Get your priorities straight, mom.
Disgusting behavior of SIL! The saddest thing OP's brother is on the side of his wife perhaps to avoid conflict in his marriage. I suggest OP to stop buying her niece gifts. Instead she can gift the money to her brother and explain that they can buy whatever they want to their child. On the other side, she can explain the little girl why she gifted her money. I think it's the best solution. I come from the culture where this way of gifting is common for the reason to avoid this type of situation. We gift money or gift-cards.
Flash forward 20 yrs & SIL will be wondering why her daughter's either cut her off or keeps her at arm's length. People like the SIL have a chip missing & are incapable of self appraisal. They rarely change much. NTA . OP ought prepare herself to be there for her niece when she's of age- it's likely the niece will escape asap .
Who cares if the mom doesn't like the gift. The gift is not for her it's for her child. So it should've not been thrown in to the trash. 😡😠🤬
What dil needs is a good punch in the nose; at least that's what I would do.
Just go the birthday cash or gift card route. It's so much easier and the kid can buy what they want.
Hoof that SIL in her front butt!!! I feel so incredibly sorry for that poor little angel having such a thundercunt for a life giver 🥺 and a spineless fraction of a man for life giver #2
I'd find gaming sessions for kids her age and take her to them all the time. What a ridiculous woman.
My mum would have done the same. But she would make it up by buying lavish ornamental gifts that suited the decor. Even now she buys me shite that she likes but I have said I don’t like. I have a $300 Alessi bowl that has been sitting in my shed for years
Where's the kid and her opinion in all of this? She's the one that should be deciding. Odds are she liked the gifts and the abusive "mother" is human garbage.
That SIL is literally a sad beige mom. I can just picture her muted, colorless home and everyone wears muted, beige/grey/white clothes. Wonder what else goes on when no one is around in that family.
I feel so sorry for that little girl. I can't believe op's brother accused his sister of being an a*****e to his wife but is perfectly okay with his wife being an a*****e to his daughter.
Load More Replies...My mum gave my old alarm clock to a friend. I rarely used it anymore and just had it for decoration. One of those old/vintage ones with two metal bells on top. I was 11 and so very disappointed with my mum for not consulting me first. I‘m 50 now and never forgot. It was not about the clock - but about the fact that she decided over my stuff without giving it a second thought. Don‘t throw/give away your childs belongings.
Exactly. We never forget. I'm 42 now and I have never forgotten or forgiven my mom for throwing away my Magic: the Gathering cards when I was 11. Nor have I forgotten or forgiven her for getting rid of my pets when she decided SHE didn't like them any more (first my rabbit, then my dog, and finally my iguana) at different times when I was under 10 years old. She never told me beforehand, I just came home from school and another pet would be gone. I took care of them and cleaned up after them, too, it wasn't one of those "parents did all the work" things with my pets. My older sister tells me I need to spend more time with our mother now that Mom is 79 and I'll "regret" it once Mom dies. Ha. No. No, I won't. (I'm adopted and my sister is our parents' bio child, my sister NEVER had any of her stuff thrown away or gotten rid of.)
Load More Replies...The sis in law probley wants her daughter to be into barbie and unicorns and if someone actually buys her what she really wants it goes in the bin because it dosnt go with the little girl image... my kid loves fortnite and so do i when we play it 2gether ✌️
Superficial people shouldn’t have children. By throwing out her daughter’s birthday gifts because they did go with the decorations of the house is a definite parenting fail. SIL is narcissistic and superficial and a horrible mother.
I believe a bedroom that is designated to that individual gets the final say in what decor they want displayed as long as it is not harmful. Let the child decide its their room.
It's pretty sad for the OP's niece that she can't enjoy her gift. I hope the kind aunt will remain close - that girl will need an adult on her side. Kids don't always have great taste, nor should they have to. Most parents would just hold their noses and let the kid have fun with the gift. One of my fond memories as a babysitter: a 10-year-old shows off her first CD to her dad, he smiles as he holds it and pronounces it "Wonderful", turns to me with his eyes rolling and tongue out (she didn't see), then back to praising his daughter's compilation of c**p as if she had brought home a Deutsche Grammophon recording of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
Its pretty cut and dry... and Ive known several garbage people like that SIL. She's insane, arrogant and basically controlling human garbage. Hopefully the little girl will learn from what a nasty p.o.s. her "mother" is and be better. The husband/brother is a lost cause, he dug his own grave marrying a garbage person.
Growing up, my bedroom was VERY decorator coordinated. From the wallpaper to the comforter on the bed, it was ALL Laura Ashley's English Rose collection. Guess where my New Kids On The Block and Unicorn posters went? On the back of the bedroom door and the wall behind it, where they weren’t seen with the door open.
"back of the bedroom door" same for me. Toys had to be put away as soon as you finished playing with them and you couldn't invite friends over. It was all very sterile. A show home ready for visitors that never came.
Load More Replies...Oh god. I know people like these. A family of four where decor-wise, only one person is accounted for. It's so sad going into the room of an 11-year-old girl and her room looks like the bedroom of a 60-year-old man. Don't get me wrong. I love interior design. But if the money exists to worry about that, then the children should be able to design their rooms. And who the hell gets salty about a mug? Do they have open shelves? I collect mugs so I don't have two identical ones let alone a full set. In fact, I still have my mug from when I was 5. Would I buy it today? No, because I don't like the same things I liked back then. It's normal for kids to like s**t that adults aren't into.
SIL threw away her child's birthday gifts because they didn't match the color scheme in her home?? What?? Most parents are happy to see their child receiving gifts they enjoy. Some parents even take it a step further and thank person for said gift/s and might even send the gift giver a pic or message about their child enjoying the gift. Then, again, some parents are controlling a-holes who, honestly, shouldn't have children. SIL is a prime example of the latter. The fact the dad didn't have issues with his wife throwing away their child's birthday gifts and then twisting the argument between OP and SIL to be OPs fault speaks volumes. OP is definitely not the AH. I feel so sorry for that little girl.
OP needs to save up all the gift money to make sure they can have a place with a spare bedroom for the niece when she's a teen and refuses to live with her controlling mom anymore.
She'll have a meltdown once Evie is a teen and gets herself whatever she wants
No she'll just throw it out and then get confused why her kid doesnt like her.
Load More Replies...Totally agree with Mrs Irish Mom. I think that SIL is trying to downplay the Minecraft with the niece and the aunt was just collateral damage. Instead of being vindictive or miserly- I would agree with the purchase experiences for the niece or do what we do with our grandchildren. We noticed that the kids were swimming in toys at an early age- so instead of money or gift cards, we started putting money into StockPile (similar to RobinHood stocks) for them to choose stocks that they- the kids are interested in. They get a set amount for birthdays and Christmas gifts- and they are learning to invest. Amazingly they are doing well, and between the three kids (17M, 15M and 13F) the middle kid is doing best. Way better than the toys-to-trash as most things go as kids use them, and they learn how to invest. Better yet they will have a nice sum when they get too old for gifts from us.
But if it's a Minecraft obsession she has a a problem with, why not tell OP that? Why lie and make it into a giant row?
Load More Replies...The child's room should be her choice of decor. My mom let me choose new furniture for my room when I was 12. She showed me French Provincial, I chose campaign chest. She was going to let me get grape purple plush carpet but her money ran out.
poor kid.. She got something she was happy for , it was her gift..and Mom didn't even store it she just threw out the gift. This is disrespectful to both the kid and her aunt
I get why the kid loves Minecraft so much. It's the only place where she can be creative and play without the overbearing beige mom telling her how she should be.
This screams control issues. If you decide to get a kid you can't live in an aesthetic anymore, you need to let them choose things for themselves and have fun going from interest to interest. You're going to have to repaint their room when they grow out of their car/ princess/ whatever phase, and your Christmas tree (if you have one) will be messy and have strange paper cut outs from school that look horrible, but your kid is proud of. If you're such a sad and controlling person that you threw out your kid's Minecraft poster and cup because you don't like the colours then you shouldn't have gotten kids. Kids aren't a necessity or something you can't control anymore (in most countries) if OP's SIL doesn't want to give up her picture perfect house and have everything the way she wants, then she could have waited or just not had a kid. But now she does and she needs to but the kid and their life and interest over the colour of her coffee cups
If I had the room, I would literally make space for the kid at my house where she can have the things she likes. Mom is going to get worse unless she has therapy. Kid will need a safe space where she is not controlled
I loved how people were asking if they were having financial problems. If you are so pretentious that your house has a color scheme, like you’re trying to be a Kardashian, you don’t have money problems. The only poor behavior is the brother and sister-in-law’s part. They sound like horrible pieces of s**t.
A home why literally everything fits one color scheme and everything matches looks sterile, cold, and unwelcoming. A kid's room should not have to be part of mommy's special design scheme. And it's cruel to throw away your kid's gifts for such a petty reason.
Matching everything in my home is the least of my f*****g concerns as a parent.
Is this a "beige mom" thing? If so, it's disgusting. Children should be allowed to express themselves, within boundaries, in their own space. Boundaries meaning, without destruction or vandalism and with cleanliness factors in mind. This is awful if the parent threw away a child's present that was wanted because of a decor to be followed. Is everyone so obsessed with IG home trends that you are denying basic, developmental needs of children??? You people are sick, if so. Your children are not guests in your photogenic color scheme!!! Shame on you.
That poor child ... And the parents suck for not letting her enjoy her gifts ... Can't wait for the rebellious teenage years to hit ... Taking away your kids gifts that are age suitable just because of your aesthetic is just low ... And abusive
All these comments focus on the OP. I would be more worried about the niece and what other types of abuse she is subjected to. This is child abuse. The OP needs to figure out how to help her niece and be a safe harbor for her. I don't know exactly how she can do that but she needs to start ASAP.
The poll is asking the wrong question. Should parents as the gift RECIPIENT before discarding the gift....yes. especially if the recipient is old enough to make an informed decision. Being forced into the mom's design niche for her personal space is borderline abusive. The poster could have gone on her bedroom wall, and the cup could have been a water cup on her nightstand. It wouldn't see the rest of the house except when the cup needs to be washed. What's the problem???
uh i think its important for parents to check with their CHILDREN. screw the gift-giver, its not theirs once its given, but that poor child????? i was surprised how many people were only focused on how OP would feel in the replies. btw im not literally saying its fine to trash someones present, thats still really rude under at least 90% of circumstances, but thats not the biggest issue here
If your color scheme or home decor is more important to you than your child's happiness, you're an incredibly selfish parent. With exceptions of course: if the parent has sensory/medical issues and the brightness/colors of the gift create a problem for the parent. Or if the gift is so outlandishly big that you don't have space for it. But if it's just something they can put in the kid's room without creating problems, then there's no reason the kid can't enjoy their gift. Get your priorities straight, mom.
Disgusting behavior of SIL! The saddest thing OP's brother is on the side of his wife perhaps to avoid conflict in his marriage. I suggest OP to stop buying her niece gifts. Instead she can gift the money to her brother and explain that they can buy whatever they want to their child. On the other side, she can explain the little girl why she gifted her money. I think it's the best solution. I come from the culture where this way of gifting is common for the reason to avoid this type of situation. We gift money or gift-cards.
Flash forward 20 yrs & SIL will be wondering why her daughter's either cut her off or keeps her at arm's length. People like the SIL have a chip missing & are incapable of self appraisal. They rarely change much. NTA . OP ought prepare herself to be there for her niece when she's of age- it's likely the niece will escape asap .
Who cares if the mom doesn't like the gift. The gift is not for her it's for her child. So it should've not been thrown in to the trash. 😡😠🤬
What dil needs is a good punch in the nose; at least that's what I would do.
Just go the birthday cash or gift card route. It's so much easier and the kid can buy what they want.
Hoof that SIL in her front butt!!! I feel so incredibly sorry for that poor little angel having such a thundercunt for a life giver 🥺 and a spineless fraction of a man for life giver #2
I'd find gaming sessions for kids her age and take her to them all the time. What a ridiculous woman.
My mum would have done the same. But she would make it up by buying lavish ornamental gifts that suited the decor. Even now she buys me shite that she likes but I have said I don’t like. I have a $300 Alessi bowl that has been sitting in my shed for years
Where's the kid and her opinion in all of this? She's the one that should be deciding. Odds are she liked the gifts and the abusive "mother" is human garbage.
50
77