My mum gave my old alarm clock to a friend. I rarely used it anymore and just had it for decoration. One of those old/vintage ones with two metal bells on top. I was 11 and so very disappointed with my mum for not consulting me first. I‘m 50 now and never forgot. It was not about the clock - but about the fact that she decided over my stuff without giving it a second thought. Don‘t throw/give away your childs belongings.

Superficial people shouldn’t have children. By throwing out her daughter’s birthday gifts because they did go with the decorations of the house is a definite parenting fail. SIL is narcissistic and superficial and a horrible mother.

It's pretty sad for the OP's niece that she can't enjoy her gift. I hope the kind aunt will remain close - that girl will need an adult on her side. Kids don't always have great taste, nor should they have to. Most parents would just hold their noses and let the kid have fun with the gift. One of my fond memories as a babysitter: a 10-year-old shows off her first CD to her dad, he smiles as he holds it and pronounces it "Wonderful", turns to me with his eyes rolling and tongue out (she didn't see), then back to praising his daughter's compilation of c**p as if she had brought home a Deutsche Grammophon recording of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

Growing up, my bedroom was VERY decorator coordinated. From the wallpaper to the comforter on the bed, it was ALL Laura Ashley's English Rose collection. Guess where my New Kids On The Block and Unicorn posters went? On the back of the bedroom door and the wall behind it, where they weren’t seen with the door open.

Oh god. I know people like these. A family of four where decor-wise, only one person is accounted for. It's so sad going into the room of an 11-year-old girl and her room looks like the bedroom of a 60-year-old man. Don't get me wrong. I love interior design. But if the money exists to worry about that, then the children should be able to design their rooms. And who the hell gets salty about a mug? Do they have open shelves? I collect mugs so I don't have two identical ones let alone a full set. In fact, I still have my mug from when I was 5. Would I buy it today? No, because I don't like the same things I liked back then. It's normal for kids to like s**t that adults aren't into.

OP needs to save up all the gift money to make sure they can have a place with a spare bedroom for the niece when she's a teen and refuses to live with her controlling mom anymore.

A kid is still a person and you can't just throw away their stuff.

If SIL threw them out that's wasteful, she should gift or donate them. Moreso it's utterly disrespectful to Evie. That child is a person and should be allowed to develop her own interests, likes and aesthetics. She's an irresponsible person and a horrible Mother.

The child's room should be her choice of decor. My mom let me choose new furniture for my room when I was 12. She showed me French Provincial, I chose campaign chest. She was going to let me get grape purple plush carpet but her money ran out.

I get why the kid loves Minecraft so much. It's the only place where she can be creative and play without the overbearing beige mom telling her how she should be.

This screams control issues. If you decide to get a kid you can't live in an aesthetic anymore, you need to let them choose things for themselves and have fun going from interest to interest. You're going to have to repaint their room when they grow out of their car/ princess/ whatever phase, and your Christmas tree (if you have one) will be messy and have strange paper cut outs from school that look horrible, but your kid is proud of. If you're such a sad and controlling person that you threw out your kid's Minecraft poster and cup because you don't like the colours then you shouldn't have gotten kids. Kids aren't a necessity or something you can't control anymore (in most countries) if OP's SIL doesn't want to give up her picture perfect house and have everything the way she wants, then she could have waited or just not had a kid. But now she does and she needs to but the kid and their life and interest over the colour of her coffee cups

I loved how people were asking if they were having financial problems. If you are so pretentious that your house has a color scheme, like you’re trying to be a Kardashian, you don’t have money problems. The only poor behavior is the brother and sister-in-law’s part. They sound like horrible pieces of s**t.

A home why literally everything fits one color scheme and everything matches looks sterile, cold, and unwelcoming. A kid's room should not have to be part of mommy's special design scheme. And it's cruel to throw away your kid's gifts for such a petty reason.

Imagine not letting your kid decorate their own room. Kids should be allowed that creativity (within reason)

Is this a "beige mom" thing? If so, it's disgusting. Children should be allowed to express themselves, within boundaries, in their own space. Boundaries meaning, without destruction or vandalism and with cleanliness factors in mind. This is awful if the parent threw away a child's present that was wanted because of a decor to be followed. Is everyone so obsessed with IG home trends that you are denying basic, developmental needs of children??? You people are sick, if so. Your children are not guests in your photogenic color scheme!!! Shame on you.

geeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz the US is crazy bro

She sounds like a really messed person. Her AND your brother.

uh i think its important for parents to check with their CHILDREN. screw the gift-giver, its not theirs once its given, but that poor child????? i was surprised how many people were only focused on how OP would feel in the replies. btw im not literally saying its fine to trash someones present, thats still really rude under at least 90% of circumstances, but thats not the biggest issue here

If your color scheme or home decor is more important to you than your child's happiness, you're an incredibly selfish parent. With exceptions of course: if the parent has sensory/medical issues and the brightness/colors of the gift create a problem for the parent. Or if the gift is so outlandishly big that you don't have space for it. But if it's just something they can put in the kid's room without creating problems, then there's no reason the kid can't enjoy their gift. Get your priorities straight, mom.

Flash forward 20 yrs & SIL will be wondering why her daughter's either cut her off or keeps her at arm's length. People like the SIL have a chip missing & are incapable of self appraisal. They rarely change much. NTA . OP ought prepare herself to be there for her niece when she's of age- it's likely the niece will escape asap .

That poor kid. Bet they barely have/had any toy due to this rule.

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Hoof that SIL in her front butt!!! I feel so incredibly sorry for that poor little angel having such a thundercunt for a life giver 🥺 and a spineless fraction of a man for life giver #2

This story or a similar one was posted a few weeks ago.

My mum would have done the same. But she would make it up by buying lavish ornamental gifts that suited the decor. Even now she buys me shite that she likes but I have said I don’t like. I have a $300 Alessi bowl that has been sitting in my shed for years

this is so sad, i'm sure Evie would have loved them. we have the same nickname lol