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“No Means No”: 16 Simple Lessons That Will Turn This Mom’s Sons Into Someone’s Dream Husbands
A parent’s influence is immense, which is why children—even as grown-ups later in life—are often a reflection of what’s been taught to them over the years. Moms and dads typically try their best to instill what they believe is right, hoping that some things will stick or become a positive habit.
A teacher and a mother of two, Payal Desai went viral on TikTok for her ways of raising her children. In a series of videos titled ‘No Dusty Sons’, she shares the valuable lessons she teaches her boys from an early age in the hopes that their future partners won’t have to deal with certain related issues. Payal’s videos—especially her signature look into the soul of the camera—created quite a buzz online and garnered over 243k followers on her TikTok account.
TikToker’s videos went viral after she shared the things she teaches her two sons
Image credits: payalforstyle
Payal’s videos about raising her boys attract millions of views
@payalforstyle Dust off your journal - time to write it down. #teachingoursons #funny #momsoftiktok #momlife #momofboys #journaling #dustyson #dustydaughter #trending ♬ original sound - Bryan
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D. Pitbull 1 year ago
Yeah... I know more than a few individuals who need this. As in, no, being helpful or considerate *only* within your own narrow scope of "I feel like it now" (but otherwise being insensitive, dismissive or selfish) does not mean you're being mindful and she's being difficult.
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Connie Bonneville 1 year ago
Installing soft close seats and expecting everyone in the house male or female to close the lid before they flush so a plume of feces doesn't sprinkle the whole bathroom
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D. Pitbull 1 year ago
More useful... teaching them that abusive incompetence is not acceptable (ie: they might be the one who puts all the stuff away, but when it comes time that their partner wants/needs something... well, gee, they "don't know where it is", guess they just CAN'T help, oh well.)
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Mark Bayliss 1 year ago
Or just maybe that if you agree to set off at x time, be ready at x time. It is just as disrespectful to not bother about other people's efforts to be ready at the specified time.
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Ali Sherlock 1 year ago
I get the idea behind this but it's been proven that bed bugs thrive in sheets that are covered by doona's etc...leaving the blankets folded at the end of bed for example is better because the open air is deadly to bed bugs.
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Panda Kicki 1 year ago
Why should she motivate him? If a grown person chooses being a couch potato its their right. Good to have good habits from childhood, but cant see why a partner should be responsible for exercise.
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Panda Kicki 1 year ago
What is "retail theraphy "? Like a shopping spree for mental health? I agree with the cleaning, organizing, period awerness etc, but this confused me.
Some people believed her views are heteronormative, TikToker responded with a video
@payalforstyle Replying to @dezloves ♬ original sound - Payal Desai
Payal’s videos seemingly split the internet into camps; while some praise the woman, others believe her messages might come across as heteronormative. However, quite a few of them on both sides agree that the things she teaches her boys are valuable life lessons and rules of common decency, which should apply to everyone no matter the circumstances.
A piece in the New York Times emphasized that learning manners as a child can bring long-term benefits, as research suggests there’s a positive link between their social skills in kindergarten and success and wellbeing in adulthood.
It also pointed out that praising children for showing sympathy and courtesy, and discussing others’ feelings can help them to develop a sense of empathy. “They’re life skills that help so much with our social and emotional I.Q. — things like recognizing social cues and developing good listening skills,” assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City, Dr. Jennifer Trachtenberg, told the New York Times.
A 2012 study revealed that being considerate of others and sharing can bring happiness to children as young as toddlers—before the age of two, kids show greater happiness giving treats to others than getting them themselves. One of the academics behind the research, Lara Aknin, told CNBC that such a positive feeling might encourage the child to act this way in the future as well. “Ideally caregivers can scaffold these opportunities to allow kids to give in meaningful and direct ways that lead kids to feel like they have chosen to help,” she said.
When it comes to children and values, quite a few people believe it’s important to instill a sense of responsibility into them as well. According to Pew Research Center, as much as 93% of surveyed adults in the US agree that teaching kids to be responsible is “especially important” and more than half of them believe it might be more important than other traits and qualities.
Unfortunately, there is no one right way to raise kids, whether it’s a son or daughter. But thanks to the internet, parents can share their insight and experiences, which might be beneficial for other moms and dads out there; or fun to watch, at least. And it seems that Payal’s content on how she raises her boys has quite a few fans, who make sure to show their support in the comments under her videos.
The online community showed support and appreciation to the mom in the comments
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What do you think ?
XenoMurph 1 year ago
So, none of this is about the son's happiness? Every one of these is about how he should behave FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Now I understand that this was done to women for millennia, having to adjust their lives for other people's expectations. Reversing this is not solving the problem. Making his bed so HE feels good about himself. |Writing down his feelings so HE can manage his emotions for HIIMSELF. Understanding menstruation, ok thats fair enough. But making him live every action through the lens of an imaginary future mate is the opposite of a healthy mental state.
Roman Hans 1 year ago
Not to mention, what if the son doesn't want a female partner? Seems like he's been groomed for one all his life.
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Connie Bonneville 1 year ago
Teaching my son how to be a normal human being has nothing to do with catering to a woman.
Chez2202 1 year ago
Could it possibly be that she is teaching her son to be a different man than the male role models she’s had in her life that have been catered to by women and she just wants him to not be lazy and take advantage? This hasn’t come from nowhere. I don’t believe for one second that she wants her son to be a doormat but it seems to me that she is teaching from experience.
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Connie Bonneville 1 year ago
If this is why you're teaching your son you're missing the point. Teach him because this is normal human behavior. Except the getting ready part.
Bekaroo 1 year ago
She is teaching him that this is normal behavior, it just so happens that it will be helpful to his future partner or anyone else he interacts with, as well. But unfortunately, right now, many of these items are not normal behavior for a lot of men and it makes the people around them miserable and likely makes themselves miserable. We have to start with teaching our sons how to be fully functional, emotionally intelligent adults that have reasonable expectations of the human body.
Load More Replies...
XenoMurph 1 year ago
So, none of this is about the son's happiness? Every one of these is about how he should behave FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Now I understand that this was done to women for millennia, having to adjust their lives for other people's expectations. Reversing this is not solving the problem. Making his bed so HE feels good about himself. |Writing down his feelings so HE can manage his emotions for HIIMSELF. Understanding menstruation, ok thats fair enough. But making him live every action through the lens of an imaginary future mate is the opposite of a healthy mental state.
Roman Hans 1 year ago
Not to mention, what if the son doesn't want a female partner? Seems like he's been groomed for one all his life.
Load More Replies... Connie Bonneville 1 year ago
Teaching my son how to be a normal human being has nothing to do with catering to a woman.
Chez2202 1 year ago
Could it possibly be that she is teaching her son to be a different man than the male role models she’s had in her life that have been catered to by women and she just wants him to not be lazy and take advantage? This hasn’t come from nowhere. I don’t believe for one second that she wants her son to be a doormat but it seems to me that she is teaching from experience.
Load More Replies... Connie Bonneville 1 year ago
If this is why you're teaching your son you're missing the point. Teach him because this is normal human behavior. Except the getting ready part.
Bekaroo 1 year ago
She is teaching him that this is normal behavior, it just so happens that it will be helpful to his future partner or anyone else he interacts with, as well. But unfortunately, right now, many of these items are not normal behavior for a lot of men and it makes the people around them miserable and likely makes themselves miserable. We have to start with teaching our sons how to be fully functional, emotionally intelligent adults that have reasonable expectations of the human body.
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