What is it with this godawful community thing? Bringing up children doesn't take a community or a village: it takes parents. They are responsible for their children, not aunts, uncles, nephews, cousings, nieces, steps or what-have-you. This guy obviously can't afford/provide for his children with someone else, so that's on him. OP is responsible for her children with him and that's it. If you can't afford it, don't have so many children!

OP ought to tell deadbeat dad to donate his sperm for money. Better to get some money out of it to feed his already crowded family than bringing in more mouths to feed. I hope OP remains "Dang Cold" or just become "Downright Frosty" and remind him that he spawned the extra kids with his new wife, his their responsibilities and not hers. -_-"

If she got remarried to a man with 3 children would her ex husband watch them, take them to dinner or buy them school supplies...hell no he wouldn't.

Maybe OP should ask the ex if he would like for their 2 boys to be back full time with her, as it would alleviate some of his financial burden. ie: extra food, utilities, sports and such.

My brother had primary custody of his son. Ex got kid for 2 months in the summer (lived 8 hours away). Nephew would arrive at mom's house with nice clothes, and be sent back in raggedy Walmart sweats - and just what he was wearing. No suitcase or anything. All the nice clothes he took with him disappeared- until his younger half-brother grew into them. Mom took Son1's nice things that his Dad bought, and gave them to Son2 by other guy.

Yeah, giving some of the kids' hand-me-down clothes to their half-siblings is *potentially* a reasonable thing to ask, especially if there aren't any cousins or whatever who would be the obvious recipients, but phrasing it as a demand makes even that out of line. Given the other unreasonable requests/demands, I can completely see why this woman has decided to make it a hard boundary that she doesn't give anything to the ex's new kids.

I'm seeing a lot of these stories where the husbands divorce and move on to other women and have kids or have stepkids and somehow the ex-wife is expected to look after them as if it were her responsibility. Yeah, no it isn't.

If he can't afford to take care of his kids, he shouldn't have custody of his kids.

Paper trail is an absolute must here for evidence. Sooner or later their kids are going to be old enough to request moving back in with mom full time.

I wonder if he is taking what she provides and splitting up with the other kids. If that's the case there are ways to limit that. The first way is that anything purchased for her two boys stays at her home only. As far as supplies, if they are school supplies, those also stay at her home or in their school lockers. If no lockers then the supplies stay with a person of authority at their school.

He's a moron, that's all I got...

Can you say ENTITLED? The BS "It takes a village to raise a child" is only something an entitled parent would say. No one was responsible, except ME, for raising my children. I certainly didn't expect (nor did I receive) any help from their father or any of his relationships.

She has no responsibility or obligation to any children except her own. I would tell him to pound sand. Where is his wife in all of this? Doesn't she watch her own kids?

I feel like many of the supportive comments have gone off track. This isn’t a question of clawing back the time they are spending with their dad. There some interesting dynamics here. When all the kids are at the dad’s house I’m sure both him and his wife are contributing to all five. Of course that is a choice they took on. The other factor is that they are half siblings, so her two kids may feel some attachment and responsibility towards their siblings. It would be of some kindness to respect that even though it wasn’t a choice of the OP. However, is she responsible financially for them in any way - no. Does she need to keep guarded boundaries - yes. Could she donate her kids old stuff to the other siblings - why not? Could she afford to sometimes spend time with all five as siblings? Maybe, but it sounds like is she gives a little he’ll take her for all she’s got.

Hm, I agree with basically everything OP wrote, except the part with the old clothes. If they are old and the boys have grown out of them, what´s the harm in giving them to the Ex for his kids?