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Artist Creates Mom Life Comics To Raise Awareness Of Double Standards And Household Inequality (30 Pics)
Interview With ArtistMary Catherine Starr is a New England-based graphic designer, yoga teacher, illustrator and a mother of two. She creates candid and relatable comics about the many responsibilities that come with being a mom, inequality in the household, and the difficulties of always being the go-to parent.
Mary started making comics during the pandemic as a way to "vent about how hard life had become and to connect with like-minded moms" while "trapped" in her house with her family. Fast forward some years later, her account has evolved into a platform where moms who are experiencing injustice in their households, families, work, and relationships find a voice and support.
With over 305 thousand followers on Instagram and counting, Mary's work continues to resonate with mothers worldwide, reminding them that they're never alone in their unique adventures of motherhood.
More info: Instagram | marycatherinestarr.com | Facebook
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Bored Panda got in touch with Mary to find out more about her creative process and to get a better understanding of how she found her love for drawing. The artist shared her story: "I've always been an artist and creative in one way or another but I started making these kinds of comics and illustrations in early 2020, right before the pandemic hit. What began as a small creative and therapeutic outlet for expressing my frustration over the challenges of modern motherhood has now become a huge part of my work in the world. I'm currently working on a book on this subject (coming out in March 2025 and published by Chronicle Books) and have started collaborating with brands and like-minded organizations to raise awareness of double standards, inequality, and the politics of motherhood."
Creating art, despite some challenges, can be really enjoyable. For Mary, the most rewarding part of the creative process is seeing her work affect other people and help them make positive changes in their own lives. "The process of making art is wonderful, of course, but seeing your art actually make a difference and make people feel seen and understood is a feeling like no other. I am very grateful that I get to share my work with so many people."
In my opinion, that is what makes us good parents. We keep trying to do the best for our kids.
Load More Replies...I see fathers at our playgrounds in Germany regularly. Is this different elsewhere?
sadly, it's rare to see fathers at playgrounds here in the US. I'm not sure about other countries though
Load More Replies...The other thing you don't see is those husbands who maybe aren't pulling their weight?
This sounds like projecting, and is not justified by the image. Most fathers are not given due credit by this.
Load More Replies...yeah I honestly think my mom feels more pain over the fact that I'm disabled than I do because she feels so guilty for not knowing she was a carrier. it's really sad to see, because I'm glad I got to be her kid, she's the best mother that could've possibly raised me!
Load More Replies...Many moms who read Mary's comics find them relatable because they're going through similar things. We were curious to know how the artist feels about the special community and support that has grown around her work. "It is so rewarding and makes all of the challenging aspects of sharing my work feel completely worth it," Mary told us. "The women (and some men!) who follow my account are incredible—they're understanding, strong, open-minded, supportive, and fighting for change for future generations of women, girls, and mothers. They have a great sense of humor and aren't afraid to share their stories and experiences. The internet and social media can be a pretty ugly place—and I've definitely seen that side of it since starting this account—but my community is a really positive one despite talking about tough subjects."
Balancing a career as a graphic designer, yoga teacher, illustrator, and mother of two is undoubtedly a juggling act. However, the artist revealed that she does not balance it all! "I try my best, but in order to do everything I do I am always dropping a ball somewhere and always feeling like I'm falling behind. This feeling is worth it because I'm not ready to give up any of my roles at this point (I love them all too much!), but eventually, something will have to give. That's just life. What has helped me continue to juggle these various passions is outsourcing some of our household needs and child care (family, babysitters, daycare, friends, etc.). And of course, my husband is very supportive of all of my work and does everything he can in order to enable me the time and space I need to work.
As for staying creative? My life is my inspiration so there's never a shortage of ideas—the challenge is finding the time to express all of them."
Mary wanted to point out that her comics are not about bashing men or husbands. "The double standards that I explore and the issues around household inequality that so many of us are dealing with (and that I depict in my work) did not come about in a vacuum; they are a product of social conditioning and societal messaging and they hurt all of us—men and women, moms and dads. I cannot speak for all of my community, but I know that the majority of us fiercely love our lives, our partners, and our children, and yet, we’re also extremely frustrated by the lack of support in our culture and in our households. My goal is to raise awareness of these issues and ignite change."
Why mom AND kids together? For my family, all of our stuff are together, or we have our own suitcase.
My mom and dad both work equally hard. Both face hardships EQUALLY.
"well i'm just the babysitter" /jk (as someones seems to thing that daddies are taking care of their children without mom).
I kinda feel bad for the mom tbh, dad looking at phone as if he doesn't care, two kids showing attention to mom, probably because the dad doesn't give the kids much attention unlike the mom.
My husband carries in all the groceries and I put them all away. I enjoy it and hate the first part so it works out well
CANNONBALLLLLLL! *wears pants as a shirt and a shirt as pants*
I don't think I could breastfeed a toddler. I stopped once the teeth were prominent
I can't tell if she has the most worthless husband in the world or she is just a man hater.
Unfortunately the mental load and childcare in general still falls disproportionately on women’s shoulders.
Load More Replies...Same here. Every time I see something about having kids, the mother is miserable, the father is totally oblivious, and the kids are extremely needy. That's even before mentioning the birthing process. It's all just a big fat no thanks.
Load More Replies...What a miserable life this woman has! Looking at things like this is still the best birth control.
She might be poking fun at some frustrations, but keep in mind these are comics. Comics can easily poke fun at negatives, but are not so useful for showing positives. So her life may not be as miserable as the comics exaggerate it to be. I have two kids and while life may be occasionally frustrating it's not the misery fest society likes to paint it as. While Motherhood may not be for everyone, it's far more worthwhile, fun, and even wonderful than comics can portray. (Let's face it a comic that exaggerates and shows the good times makes for very dull reading, while comics that exaggerate and show our frustrations and misfortunes are more amusing)
Load More Replies...Well, someone got the right idea here! On behalf of all mothers, thank you for telling your mother you love her!
Load More Replies...Does this woman's partner just not help out with childcare and chores? If so, that's pretty damn sad.
She's horribly exist, or has the worst partner.. She also needs to slow down and appreciate the ridiculousness..
Maybe OP ought to talk to her husband because there is a LOT of resentment to him here
Good for you! So many have kids because society says they have to. Parenthood is not the only choice in life. I'm a mom and that is what I wanted. It was s**t sometimes, and wonderful at other times. But that's life in general for everyone I think.
Load More Replies...These days of the workload isn't shared it's not society it's the man. I understand the pain but feel hurt seeing the "dad bar" set so low when in reality it's the individual not everyone around setting that.
I'm a mother and this is really sad to see. My son is the best part of my life. How could a woman complain so much about the little people she's created? Either bad parenting or bad attitude. And either the dad is as useless as she says or we just go back to her being a massive complainer. This is a bad look sis
Agreed. I have two kids and after the hardest most frustrating day caring for them I watch them sleep and think about my life before them. Invariably I get up kiss thier heads and silently thank them for rescuing me from that life. After having kids my previous lifestyle seems empty, boring and in no way appealing anymore. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.
Load More Replies...I'm noticing 3 types of comments. 1. the "wow these are really realistic to me as a mother" 2. the "wow the author has a horrible taste in men or she's just sexist" 3. the "I am never having kids because that's my valid personal choice"
Most of these are questionable That grocery one is a damn lie, you ain't married a man if that's what it looks like
The only problem is that while using comics to poke fun at our frustrations we inadvertently paint an untrue negative stereotype of Motherhood. We tend to over stress our frustrations without sharing the positives. This scares some people into thinking Motherhood is nothing but misery and pain, which is not true. Yes Motherhood can be difficult and frustrating, but like all aspects of life it's a balance. For every frustrating moment there are also the wonderful ones that we would not trade for anything. It's unfair to Mothers to have Motherhood always portrayed so negatively. Finding ways to poke fun at frustrations while still showing the value of the positives is a hard balance to achieve, especially in comics.
Maybe women should stop having children with men who aren't going to be partners in parenting.
Is it just me, or are a lot of these double standards just self fulfilling prophecies by the author? They seem to half acknowledge that their own expectations, both for themselves and others, *is* the double standard. Time to stop internalizing.
Yes it's just you. This is how it is in almost every society.
Load More Replies...Alot of women should have kept their legs closed, you suck at motherhood, because your kids are out of hand. As a single father myself, I do everything, and only complaint I have is women saying mothers do everything.
I can't tell if she has the most worthless husband in the world or she is just a man hater.
Unfortunately the mental load and childcare in general still falls disproportionately on women’s shoulders.
Load More Replies...Same here. Every time I see something about having kids, the mother is miserable, the father is totally oblivious, and the kids are extremely needy. That's even before mentioning the birthing process. It's all just a big fat no thanks.
Load More Replies...What a miserable life this woman has! Looking at things like this is still the best birth control.
She might be poking fun at some frustrations, but keep in mind these are comics. Comics can easily poke fun at negatives, but are not so useful for showing positives. So her life may not be as miserable as the comics exaggerate it to be. I have two kids and while life may be occasionally frustrating it's not the misery fest society likes to paint it as. While Motherhood may not be for everyone, it's far more worthwhile, fun, and even wonderful than comics can portray. (Let's face it a comic that exaggerates and shows the good times makes for very dull reading, while comics that exaggerate and show our frustrations and misfortunes are more amusing)
Load More Replies...Well, someone got the right idea here! On behalf of all mothers, thank you for telling your mother you love her!
Load More Replies...Does this woman's partner just not help out with childcare and chores? If so, that's pretty damn sad.
She's horribly exist, or has the worst partner.. She also needs to slow down and appreciate the ridiculousness..
Maybe OP ought to talk to her husband because there is a LOT of resentment to him here
Good for you! So many have kids because society says they have to. Parenthood is not the only choice in life. I'm a mom and that is what I wanted. It was s**t sometimes, and wonderful at other times. But that's life in general for everyone I think.
Load More Replies...These days of the workload isn't shared it's not society it's the man. I understand the pain but feel hurt seeing the "dad bar" set so low when in reality it's the individual not everyone around setting that.
I'm a mother and this is really sad to see. My son is the best part of my life. How could a woman complain so much about the little people she's created? Either bad parenting or bad attitude. And either the dad is as useless as she says or we just go back to her being a massive complainer. This is a bad look sis
Agreed. I have two kids and after the hardest most frustrating day caring for them I watch them sleep and think about my life before them. Invariably I get up kiss thier heads and silently thank them for rescuing me from that life. After having kids my previous lifestyle seems empty, boring and in no way appealing anymore. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.
Load More Replies...I'm noticing 3 types of comments. 1. the "wow these are really realistic to me as a mother" 2. the "wow the author has a horrible taste in men or she's just sexist" 3. the "I am never having kids because that's my valid personal choice"
Most of these are questionable That grocery one is a damn lie, you ain't married a man if that's what it looks like
The only problem is that while using comics to poke fun at our frustrations we inadvertently paint an untrue negative stereotype of Motherhood. We tend to over stress our frustrations without sharing the positives. This scares some people into thinking Motherhood is nothing but misery and pain, which is not true. Yes Motherhood can be difficult and frustrating, but like all aspects of life it's a balance. For every frustrating moment there are also the wonderful ones that we would not trade for anything. It's unfair to Mothers to have Motherhood always portrayed so negatively. Finding ways to poke fun at frustrations while still showing the value of the positives is a hard balance to achieve, especially in comics.
Maybe women should stop having children with men who aren't going to be partners in parenting.
Is it just me, or are a lot of these double standards just self fulfilling prophecies by the author? They seem to half acknowledge that their own expectations, both for themselves and others, *is* the double standard. Time to stop internalizing.
Yes it's just you. This is how it is in almost every society.
Load More Replies...Alot of women should have kept their legs closed, you suck at motherhood, because your kids are out of hand. As a single father myself, I do everything, and only complaint I have is women saying mothers do everything.