What she did is the best way to get a baby’s father on board with caring for a baby who belongs to both of them, too. Had a friend who said when his first child was born, he was one of those guys who refused to do anything like change diapers, bathe, or feed the baby, and no way was he going to get up in the middle of the night to feed them. He and his wife met when they were both in the Army. He had just gotten out, she had about 6 months left. Well, the first weekend after she returned to duty after giving birth, she had to go out on weekend maneuvers and leave him alone with the baby. They were stationed close to her hometown, so he desperately tried to get someone like her mother or sister to stay at the house and take over the childcare. But his wife was smart, clued her relatives in to what he might try, and told them to be busy that weekend. It worked, and he was left alone with his infant. He told me, now if it’s just a couple hours, you can do the minimum and still get yourself off the hook. But NOONE with a shred of decency and humanity is going to leave a baby hungry, not bathed, and laying in a dirty diaper for two whole days. He HAD to step up, and he did. He said he finally grew up and became an adult that weekend, and by the time his wife got home, he was an absolute pro who had his whole childcare routine almost scientifically laid out. From then on, he became an actively involved father to that child, and the other children they had afterward.

Our mother couldn't leave us alone with our father for more than two hours while she went shopping for food on Saturday during the school holidays. In the school terms she did the food shopping in the week while were in school. In the holidays she either dragged us around the supermarket & butchers for the main shop in the week or left us with our father on his time off from work. We were screaming for her to return as he was so rough. When we got older & it wasn't raining she just shoved us out to play alone while she did the shopping. Fathers back then weren't as good with kids as they are now as they didn't get the chance to bond with them at birth. We were on holiday in north Devon once (before it became fashionable) & went walking on Exmoor one day. My mother needed to pee after drinking coffee from a flask & disappeared behind a bush for a few minutes. While she was gone I picked up some sheep droppings & asked my father what they were so he explained & then started pelting us with them. He wouldn't stop despite our protests & the more we asked him to the more he did it. My mother reappeared & told him off.

One turn at life. Well said.