EXACTLY. A purity ball implies you are literally interested in keeping GIRLS from having sex. Not one word about boys. Also, if you are unaware, in many cases they ask those who have had sex or been molested etc. to not attend. I know, I was told I was not allowed to attend the purity ball because of said sexual assault. I was told I was a "bad influence." That is literally sexualizing a child. That is literally implying that I was at fault for being assaulted and was voluntarily sexually active. THAT IS SEXUALIZATION. @ginny weasley, you make some great points. @PandaWanda, you made me feel terrible about myself.

I was brought up in a super-conservative church that believes that literally, nothing happens without the will of God and that He decides the course of your life even before you are born. According to doctrine, whether you go to hell or heaven has absolutely nothing to do with you and has been decided at the moment of your conception. It was super fun getting dragged to church after having been raped and listening to how this supposedly benevolent God has (according to church doctrine) created me with the sole purpose of making me into a victim. Let's just say, the moment I was old enough to say no, I severed ties with the church and haven't set foot in it ever since.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I grew up in a similar manner. Isn't it amazing how the vast majority of people who believe that lead comfortable trauma-free lives? Yet if something bad happens to them it's not "God's will", it's the "devil testing me".

Sorry you felt bad. hopefully you know your sexual history has no bearing on your worth and being molested was not your fault.

Dear Niki, it makes me sick to read your story. I am sorry for what happened to you and I am sorry for you and angry at all these people for not allowing you to be just like the other girls be cause you were unpure. How can they dare say that? That means you opened up, told someone what happened and they then proceded to tell you it was your fault? As a kid??? Nobody wanted to listen to me and I hate it. But compared to you I hade it easy. I hope you found a way to be happy in your life and don't have to see all those people anymore that dare to say such things to a child!

I don't know if it's understandable what I wrote, I'm tired and down. But I want you to know that I think you are a wonderful human being! And that it's nobodys job to determine your what worth

The father puts on a ring that's not supposed to be taken off until she's married. So basically it's saying she's the father's property until she's the husband's. It's very gross and unhealthy. I grew up baptist. I haven't been to church in fifteen years and I still have a lot of issues when it comes to sex and intimacy. Even after getting married I felt like sex was something dirty and shameful.

@pandawanda, really? Is that why they tell little girls that sex dirties them----but not the men who attack them-----and don't aim "purity" at boys?

👏👏👏 JMC5003, I will bronze the soap box you just stepped from.

Wow! Thank you! : ) Being raised in a religious cult and studying every religious text I could get my hands on to try to understand my grandfather's beliefs (he was the leader) has given me a particularly intense hatred towards the evil that is religious organizations and their hypocrisy. I think one of my sons put it best, "If this mythical all-powerful deity exists, they're an a*****e." Seriously, if there's a being that's full of love and all-powerful, why do they allow innocents to be harmed? Free will is an nonsensical excuse provided by believers, but seriously? Why would I worship such a jerk?

I wish I could upvote this more than once

(My comment about upvoting is meant to be addressed to @JMC5003)

Religion has the ability to grow and change. Christianity now is much different than Christianity 2000 years ago and it has been split into many sub religions with varying beliefs, same for many religions. It’s nice because many of the crueler practices of a religion can fade out and evolve to better reflect and fit the current times. It’s a bit unfair to assume that every Christian (or any other follower of a religion) believe and practice the exact same thing, especially when it comes to the worst original teachings. Some do of course but there are also so many others who have their own approaches, many of whom choose to be accepting of those who are supposed to be ostracized in the original version. It’s nice that religions have the potential evolve and grow for the better as time goes on and it makes it difficult to judge an individuals precise beliefs even if they tell you what religion they belong to. Sometimes that gets overlooked. It’s not so black and white

Wut? No, religions don't have the opportunity to "grow and change". They're devotional, doctrinal institutions based around controlling thought, speech and behaviour.

Oh, they can, Jay, and they often do. Especially in this day and age, or "modern times", where LGBTQ and different gender identities are being accepted, some people might like their religion, but it goes against these things. They tweak little parts and add more parts to get their ideal religion. Of course, this really only happens individually, and with a group, things are more controlling.