Growing up to be an adult means a lot of things. The one thing everyone megaloathes about it, though, is slowly but surely becoming a part of the Always Tired Club. Perhaps also becoming the president of it. And guess what happens when you have kids?

Needless to say, exhaustion can kick in really quickly. In fact, it can progress to such a degree that you can start prioritizing sleep over absolutely everything else in life. Like family obligations.

Well, an overly exhausted mother recently turned to the internet to talk about this very situation, and to ask who is the jerk here—her step-daughter who keeps coming in every other weekend, or the mom, who just can’t get no sleep.

More Info: Reddit

What do you do when sleep deprivation kicks in and you have kids to take care of? Well, there are many solutions…

Image credits: Dan Harrelson (not the actual image )

A mother of 3 kids—4 months, 2 years and 4 years—recently went to Reddit, specifically the Am I The A-Hole subreddit, to settle a dilemma she had. One that involves lack of sleep and an upset step-daughter.

In particular, she has her 13-year-old step-daughter come over every other week for a visit. This way, she gets to spend time with her biological dad and step-siblings.

However, there’s a bit of a problem. As you might have already guessed, the three other kids are still at an age that requires quite a bit of investment in terms of time and attention. Even more so if you have a kid that is super fussy and has rough nights on the regular: The 4-month-old.

… However, eliminating time with your step-daughter isn’t a solution as folks online have ruled for this mom of 3 and her husband

Image credits: u/National_Law_6665

Image credits: Lynda A (not the actual image)

It has become so bad that the parents are practically living on a prayer sleep-wise. They work all day, don’t get any sleep due to the baby experiencing colic pain, so the only time they can catch up on sleep is the weekend. This in turn means nearly no time for the teen daughter the dad has from another relationship.

Well, because this is seemingly happening often enough that the parents have to cancel their time with the step-daughter, she decided to get it off her shoulders and post her dissatisfaction on social media. According to OP, the daughter wrote “my dad and step mom can’t even take care of the kids they have. Yet they keep having more. So much for a reliable loving parent.”

Because they work all day, and don’t get to sleep all that much, they try to catch up on it over the weekend, but that means no time for the husband’s teen

Image credits: u/National_Law_6665

Image credits: storebukkebruse (not the actual image )

It didn’t take long for the husband’s family to start asking questions. The in-laws got involved and started blaming them for practically abandoning the 13-year-old. They also stopped helping them with the younger kids altogether.

OP’s stance is that you can only blame the circumstances—it’s not like anyone asked for a colicky baby. And so the question was passed on to the AITA community, which was of a different opinion.

Many came out to say that OP was, sadly, in the wrong. While they did understand that the colicky baby was surely not anyone’s fault, OP’s solution to the problem was unfair to the step-daughter. This effectively meant that her father is disappearing from her life, and that is not good.

The AITA community ruled that the parents are, sadly, in the wrong here, and that something has to be done

Others added that this sort of prioritizing might end up leading to an attitude that the kid is not wanted, which will lead to other, bigger issues in her development. One user even flipped the situation around and asked what if it was her 2 or 4-year-old that was in the 13-year-old’s shoes?

Yet others suggested perhaps trying to tag-team more, trying to solve the problem by one parent sleeping and the other looking after the kids, and vice versa, so there’s at least some balance in the family.

The post got some modest attention with nearly 6,000 upvotes and 2,300 comments and a handful of awards. And speaking of which, you can read the post with all of the comments in context here.

But, before you do that, tell us your thoughts on this. What solutions would you suggest to make this all work? Share your ideas in the comment section below!

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