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Viral Post Shows What Friendship Between Women Looks Like After One Of Them Has A Miscarriage
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Viral Post Shows What Friendship Between Women Looks Like After One Of Them Has A Miscarriage

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Ashlee Gadd said the hardest part of her miscarriage was reconciling how to walk through her normal days while bleeding and grieving.

“There’s so much I didn’t know about this kind of loss,” the 35-year-old California mom of three told TODAY Parents. “I never understood how much ordinary life continues swirling around… how this process doesn’t happen in a day. It lasts and lingers. I never considered how many women are walking around in public places in the process of silently miscarrying.”

Luckily, Gadd had people to support her. Like Anna Quinlan, a dear friend who she has known for about a decade.

RELATED:

    Ashlee Gadd was seven weeks pregnant with her fourth child when she learned that she had suffered her first miscarriage

    Image credits: ashleegadd

    So her friend Anna Quinlan reached out to her

    Image credits: ashleegadd

    But instead of asking how Ashlee was doing, Quinlan texted a multiple choice question

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    The mom replied to the text with a photo of a single roll of toilet paper

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    Image credits: ashleegadd

    That afternoon, toilet paper and Cheez-its arrived on Gadd’s porch

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    Image credits: ashleegadd

    Gadd told Good Morning America that a miscarriage wasn’t even on her radar. “It took a couple of minutes to really hit me and I was crushed,” she said. “The doctor asked if she could give me a hug and the moment her arms wrapped around my neck, I started sobbing.”

    It got even worse in the week that followed, while the mom waited to undergo a dilation and curettage, a medical procedure performed to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage.

    “In that week, I was still feeling very pregnant, feeling nauseous and my boobs hurt,” Gadd recalled. “My body felt very pregnant but my mind knew that I wasn’t going to be much longer. That was a really hard thing to reconcile.”

    It was also during that trying time that Anna showed her support. The gesture meant so much to Gadd that she just had to share it on her social media.

    Ashlee had never experienced a loss like this

    Image credits: ashleegadd

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    Image credits: ashleegadd

    But she considers herself one of the lucky ones

    Image credits: ashleegadd

    According to the Mayo Clinic, about 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. The actual number, however, is likely higher because many miscarriages occur very early in pregnancy — before the couple even finds out about it.

    The term “miscarriage” might suggest that something went wrong in the way the woman carried out the pregnancy. But this is rarely true — most miscarriages occur because the fetus isn’t developing as expected.

    Iris Gorfinkel, who is a General Practitioner and Principal Investigator/Founder of PrimeHealth Clinical Research in Toronto, Ontario, has written an excellent piece on why we should consider aborting the term miscarriage altogether.

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    Image credits: ashleegadd

    Everyone who heard Ashlee’s story was incredibly touched by it

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    Read less »

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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    Viviane
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being specific is pretty much how to help someone: tell them exactly what you can do to help. "Let me know if I can do anything" is vague to someone under stress and may sound like something said out of politeness.

    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love this. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had my MIL stay with us for two weeks as I had to take it easy after emergency surgery. She helped so much doing things like house work, going to the shops and taking my daughter to and from school. She also didn't pester me when I wanted to be alone. She was amazing and a great help during a tough time. she even made me a new friend (one of my besties).

    Pamela24
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A beautiful bittersweet story that was honestly also educational. I will remembered this way of offering support to loved ones in difficult striations. So many people just say "let me know if you need anything" (I did that too a couple of times) but that just puts the burden of asking on the person who's hurting. The list of options is a great way to offer actual help yet not pressure the vulnerable person too much. ❤️

    Load More Comments
    Viviane
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being specific is pretty much how to help someone: tell them exactly what you can do to help. "Let me know if I can do anything" is vague to someone under stress and may sound like something said out of politeness.

    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love this. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had my MIL stay with us for two weeks as I had to take it easy after emergency surgery. She helped so much doing things like house work, going to the shops and taking my daughter to and from school. She also didn't pester me when I wanted to be alone. She was amazing and a great help during a tough time. she even made me a new friend (one of my besties).

    Pamela24
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A beautiful bittersweet story that was honestly also educational. I will remembered this way of offering support to loved ones in difficult striations. So many people just say "let me know if you need anything" (I did that too a couple of times) but that just puts the burden of asking on the person who's hurting. The list of options is a great way to offer actual help yet not pressure the vulnerable person too much. ❤️

    Load More Comments
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