Like they calling u a nerd is calling u smarter than them

Might as well be a British fly on his/her way home.

Wet bugs are scrumptious

Actually, what did Apple users say to the Androids?

I personally am never donating blood again! Too many stupid questions; Whos blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?

This is the opposite of cursed

Maybe we should rethink our life choices

That would remove about 90% of my daily conversations...

god i don’t remember where it was but i was shopping at some store in poland or something and the deodorant flavor literally translated to “war and fire” like tf

Well that's a good solution.. anyone can make frames out of drinking straws and some crazy glue or tape or hot glue if you're rich. split the straw open and wrap it around the lenses. snip a piece off for the bridge of your nose... you could even use those free chopsticks for your ear pieces (they have more support) there is absolutely no reason people shouldn't be doing this!

“hey you got enough money to go out tonight?” “nah man i’m still paying off that four cheese i had a few weeks ago” “damn”

Because I pushed her.

I've heard this described as "Schrodinger's douche bag".

as someone who is always mentally elsewhere i can confirm

no bc my friend has said that my voice is more high pitched when i'm talking to someone that isn't my friend/i don't know. i'm a freshman in high school, i've never been to work

Its me. Sorry *nom nom nom*

I know, I'm the one who took it

*picks up an air horn* I'm pretty honky if I do say so myself

y’all get an hour of self care?

Grab them from under the stall and run away at full speed after they rip. Then scream "YIPPEEE" as you run. (never let them know your next move)

This has been solved recently at our McDonalds, they removed the self-serve. The explanation? People using the drive through don't have the same service, and they want to make it "a uniform service experience". You can still get a refill, but you have to go to the counter and have them do it.

spider-hoe, spider-hoe, hoes whatever a spider goes

Well that escalated quickly

Beanz

Oh no! Have to read the shampoo and hairspray bottles now...

At the golf course, they will clean them for you

First time I have seen someone misspell ‘me’

Because texts often can't adequately convey emotion, intention, or nuance. Don't get me wrong, I have crippling anxiety myself. And you know what triggers it sometimes? Not being able to communicate in a world where people can't handle a 30 second conversation that has been transacted audibly.

and then doesn’t cry until you look at them

Clear the cache in your apps

Even though this is meant to be a joke, I don’t like it at all

Im making one of these immediately

Wheres my money?

my autistic a*s does not understand a word of what was said

True story. It's how they enslave you. Creating a non profit to empower people to be themselves AND be financially stable.

Same with any medication brands as well. “Side effects may include, impaired judgement, brain fog, stroke, lung cancer, and death”

chonky

and i'm equally sorry to the babay you fathered

they're just trying to remind you to use the commodore

Me too

i drank a bit too much vodka and i’ve been scream laughing at this image for the last fifteen minutes, someone please what is wrong with me 😭😭😭

Tasty tasty bugs.

If this is where you are mentally... check if you have a return policy or any kind of a warranty. You are broken and need a replacement.

Obsess much?

Havent been in awhile, is this common now?

Totally not photoshoped

i’d have the subtitles on anyway

They cost 15 bucks now????

The price of the bra and underwear are pretty accurate tbh.

Nacho fries good af, why are they always for a limited time?