When a soon-to-be mom is expecting her first child, she deserves all the support in the world. Her partner helping her deal with the physical discomfort and ever-changing hormones, her boss allowing her time off when needed, and her family members showing overwhelming excitement for the new addition to the family. There is no room for negativity or judgment directed towards a woman who is working hard to bring a new life into the world.

However, one mother-in-law seems to have missed the memo that pregnant women should be treated with care. 3 days ago, Reddit user Bookfern shared a story detailing how some family drama ensued after her mother-in-law expressed her disappointment in her next grandchild being a girl, rather than a boy. 

Below, you can read the full story that had Bookfern wondering whether she had gone too far in defending herself, as well as some of the replies frustrated readers have left. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring a mother-in-law being way too hard on her pregnant daughter-in-law, you can find that right here.   

After being unfairly shamed by her mother-in-law, this pregnant woman is wondering if she went too far when standing up for herself

Image credits: John Looy (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ashwin Vaswani (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)

Image credits: bookfern

The soon-to-be mother then responded to some comments calling out the mother-in-law for her outdated views

Hundreds of years ago, in many cultures, there was a huge emphasis on having boys, rather than girls, to carry on the family name and legacy. Kings always wanted to have male heirs to inherit the throne, and plenty of other men in powerful positions desired boys to take on their titles as well. However, today, this reasoning does not really stand up. 

For the vast majority of the world, it makes absolutely no difference whether their children are boys or girls. The goal should just be to have a healthy, happy child, as Bookfern notes in her post. Plus, the sex of a child does not necessarily determine the gender they will identify with 10, 15, or 20 years down the line. There’s no need to have a preference when having children.

But, as we all know, sexism persists in many ways. Apparently, even in the United States, there is still a slight preference for having boys over girls. According to a 2018 Gallup poll, when asked if they had a preference of gender if they could only have one child, 36% of Americans said they would prefer having a boy. Only 28% said they would prefer having a girl, and the remaining 36% had no preference. 

Women tend to have a smaller bias than men, however. 31% of women said they would prefer a daughter, while 30% said they would rather have a boy. Men, on the other hand, were more decisive with their preferences. 43% said they would prefer a son, while only 24% said they would prefer a daughter. 

Regardless of whether the parents, or grandparents, have a preference or not, it’s really out of everyone’s control. It’s simply up to the father’s sperm to determine the sex of a child, as Bookfern tried to remind her mother-in-law. It is embarrassing to hold outdated views about how children are made and to blame one party for having a “lesser” child, but it would also be incredibly painful for that girl to grow up knowing her grandmother didn’t want her. I’m sure the girl will never have any knowledge of this situation, and I hope that her grandmother will shower her with love, as she would any of her other grandchildren. But clinging onto outdated sexist opinions that boys are more valuable than girls is just sad, and it only causes harm.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments. Have you ever heard someone express their preference for having a boy over a girl, or were you just as shocked to hear this as the mother in this story was? Let us know what you think, and then if you want to check out another Bored Panda article featuring drama between a mother-in-law and her pregnant daughter-in-law, look no further than right here.  

Readers poured out support for the expecting mother, reassuring her that she did nothing wrong

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