Getting everyone the Christmas gifts that they would love can be a nuisance. Especially when the recipient list starts expanding even without your knowledge!

A few days ago, one artistic woman made a post on Reddit, venting about her mother-in-law: the lady secretly promised her friends that she would create them paintings for free during the holiday season.

The woman learned about this only when the requests started coming in, and said that it added unexpected stress to an already hectic time of the year.

When Christmas and in-laws converge, the joyous season can quickly get entangled in all sorts of complications

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)

For this artist, they came in the form of unsolicited free painting requests

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Image credits: anon

Luckily for the woman, her husband helped her enforce boundaries

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Probably most of us can empathize with the author of the Reddit post.

For example, in the United States, nearly nine in ten (89%) adults say that concerns such as not having enough money, missing loved ones, and anticipating family conflict cause them stress at this time of year, according to the results of a new survey by the American Psychological Association (APA).

While nearly half of Americans (49%) would describe their stress levels during the traditional holiday season between November and January as “moderate,” around two in five (41%) claim their stress increases during this time compared with other points in the year.

Moreover, 43% say that it interferes with their ability to enjoy the holidays and 36% say these days feel like a competition.

However, if the lady from the Reddit post couldn’t afford to commission her daughter-in-law to do the paintings, she could’ve at least considered other options that align with her financial capabilities. After all, we don’t need to get people expensive things to show that we care about them.

“Test it out—go and poll 10 people about the holiday season. Ask them how they feel about gift buying. My guess is the majority would like to spend less and make it more about people than about the gifts,” Manhattan psychotherapist and performance coach Jonathan Alpert told Bored Panda.

“Accept the notion that materialism is not an expression of what the holidays truly represent, nor do extravagance and expensive gifts equal happiness,” he advised everyone who wants to enjoy the holidays and not get caught up in the consumerism frenzy.

Alpert, who is also the author of the book ‘Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days,’ said we can set an example for our loved ones by doing something that reflects our beliefs. “Be creative by making greeting cards and giving homemade gift certificates to your friends and family, spelling out how you’ll treat them.”

“For example, offer to spruce up your parents’ yard come Springtime, help your sister with babysitting, or make a home-cooked dinner for a friend. In lieu of cheesy grab bags at the office party, suggest donating to a worthy charity.”

“Keep in mind that the most memorable gift you can give someone is an experience, not a material item,” he added. “People remember activities and experiences long after the fleeting excitement of a toy, article of clothing, or other material gift.”

When family members with different expectations and communication styles come together, it’s important to remember what feels good and what actually matters.

I’m willing to bet that exploiting each other’s work to please someone from the outside isn’t it!

The woman’s post inspired a heated discussion on family dynamics, holiday expectations, and the value of work

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