When we say that empathy is one of the most important things for a good boss to have, we’re not kidding. A proper workplace leader has to be emotionally intelligent and genuinely care about their subordinates if they want to inspire and motivate them. On the flip side, superiors who don’t even see their staff as people are only going to breed resentment and create a toxic environment.

Redditor u/BlazinWasian757 turned to the r/antiwork online community for advice about their friend’s tense work situation. According to the author, their pal’s boss threatened to fire him if he didn’t come in to work during his wedding and honeymoon, despite having taken time off ages ago. Read on for the full story and the practical work-life tips the internet shared. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from them.

Your wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. Naturally, nobody wants to stress about work stuff during this happy time

Image credits: Samantha Gades / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

One internet user turned to the net and asked for advice for his friend, who was being pressured to work on his Big Day and honeymoon

Image credits: Hassan OUAJBIR / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: BlazinWasian757

Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Everybody wins when empathy and compassion are seen as priorities at work

According to Indeed, empathy in the workplace has a range of benefits, from improved communication and stronger working relationships to better creative thinking, increased sales, and better customer service.

Empathetic leaders are, by definition, great communicators. They’re good at actively listening to others, they inspire their staff, and they have a good understanding of how each employee works, what their emotional needs are, and what support they require.

Workers who focus on servant leadership often put empathy and compassion at the core of their approach to management. They value growth, and unity, and genuinely care about what their subordinates have to say and how they feel.

The stance that company managers take toward time off will tell you a lot about their philosophy on work, their priorities, as well as their attitude toward their colleagues. If they believe that work should be everyone’s top (and only!) priority, then this toxicity is probably going to result in burnout and a high turnover rate.

To put it simply, well-rested employees work better. You won’t get efficiency or good results from someone who’s demotivated, exhausted, and hates coming into the office.

However, someone who knows they’re supported and who has free time to enjoy life outside of work will feel like their work has purpose and their team matters. Even someone who is all about results and workplace efficiency has to realize this.

Image credits: IrynaKhabliuk / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

It’s in any employee’s best interest to defend their boundaries in order to have a healthy work-life balance

Then there’s the question of trust and consistency. If your company approves your leave only to backtrack on their verbal and written promises later on, that sort of behavior is going to erode a lot of the trust that’s been built up over the years.

Whether or not someone can cancel your leave will depend on the type of contract you signed (your boss might have some leeway in cases of genuine emergency), as well as your national and state labor laws. Whatever the case might be, you need to know your rights as a worker. That means doing your research and getting familiar with the law.

If your leave was officially approved and you have a paper trail showing that your boss has been threatening you, you have a pretty good case. Now all that matters is picking your strategy. You could take this up with human resources. You could talk directly to your boss’s boss. Or you could seek legal representation. In all of those cases, dealing with the fallout will likely be a headache, but that’s the cost of standing up for oneself.

At the end of the day, though, all of us are personally responsible for enforcing the boundaries that we think represent our interests.

From an ethical perspective, any boss who demands that you come in to work on your wedding or honeymoon clearly doesn’t give a toss about you, your family, or your future. It’s a wake-up call. The boss, and probably the company by extension, do not deserve to be prioritized because they will never see you as a priority.

Image credits: Khwanchai Phanthong / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. If your boss is willing to threaten and pressure you once, they’re likely to do it again

It would be against any employee’s interests to reward such awful behavior with devotion, flexibility, and subservience. It would only mean that, in the future, your employer will see that it’s easy to walk all over you.

What can you expect next? Your boss telling you to come into the office when your partner’s giving birth? Doing overtime when you’re supposed to be celebrating your kid’s birthday? Those sacrifices are only going to hurt you and your family in the long run. Many of us have probably watched 1997’s Liar Liar with Jim Carrey and 2006’s Click with Adam Sandler, but they’re great refreshers about why workaholism is never worth it. If you want a healthy work-life balance, you have to be willing to fight for it. Calmly. Professionally. But fiercely!

The economy’s in a weird place right now and many families are struggling. So, it’s understandable that not everyone’s in a position to quit their jobs at the drop of a hat. However, if you’re stuck in a toxic workplace environment, then you need to start looking for better companies. There are always alternatives for skilled and hard-working employees.

What would you do if you were in the post author’s friend’s situation? Would you ever choose work over your Big Day? What do you think it would take for selfish and toxic managers to snap out of it and start being more empathetic? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments! Meanwhile, we sincerely hope that the author’s friend has a fantastic wedding and honeymoon without any interruptions from work.

Many internet users were shocked by the boss’s audacity. Here’s a few of their reactions

Some readers had very similar stories of their own to tell

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