Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

50YO Feels Like She’s Being Bullied Out Of Leaving Friend Group By “Middle-Aged Mean Girls”
91

50YO Feels Like She’s Being Bullied Out Of Leaving Friend Group By “Middle-Aged Mean Girls”

50YO Feels Like She's Being Bullied Out Of Leaving Friend Group By Middle-Aged Woman Faces Mean Girl Drama At 50, Wonders If She Should Find Better Friends50YO Targeted By Middle-Aged Mean Girl, She’s Ready To Cut Ties With Her Friend Group For Good50YO Woman Faces High School Drama All Over Again, Middle-Aged Bully Pushes Her Out Of Friend GroupMiddle-Aged Mean Girl Turns Friend Group Into High School Drama, 50YO Target Is Ready To Walk AwayBullied 50YO Woman Can’t Believe How Childish “Friends” Are, Wonders If She’s Back In Middle School50 Wants Out Of Friend Group As There's A 50YO Questions Friends’ Childish Behaviors, Feels Like She’s Dealing With Middle School Mean Girls50YO Feels Like She's Being Bullied Out Of Leaving Friend Group By
ADVERTISEMENT

Mean girls never really grow up; they just get older and switch to more expensive handbags. Unfortunately, the drama stays pretty much the same as in high school. No one really expects to deal with middle-aged mean girls, but apparently, cliques and icy looks don’t stop once we hit 50.

So, grab your cup of tea, or wine (no judgment here), because this netizen’s story will take you straight back to the hallways of your school days, except this time, there’s no detention, just frosty social dynamics.

More info: Mumsnet

RELATED:

    Adult mean girls are like expensive handbags, shiny on the outside, but empty on the inside

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    A 50-year-old woman finds herself reliving high school drama as one middle-aged bully keeps picking on her

    Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Both women are part of a group of friends, but the other ladies don’t say anything when the mean girl throws sarcastic remarks at one of them

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The woman’s husband tells her she should leave the group and find better friends

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: 50andBeingBulliedWTAF

    The woman doesn’t want to give her middle-aged bully the satisfaction of pushing her out of the group and asks for advice online on what to do

    Our protagonist is 50 years old and somehow reliving the social anxiety of her teenage years, thanks to a group of adult mean girls. Sounds ridiculous, right? I mean, at this age, you’d think the drama would be more about joint pain and retirement plans, not gossip and cold shoulders. But hey, here we are.

    Imagine being part of a group of friends, and they’re pals, all seemingly getting along, except for one woman who’s clearly got a problem with you. That’s our poster, Marie (not her real name by the way). Every time she shows up, it feels like someone just cranked up the AC. Hello, icy greetings.

    And to make matters worse, this lady always adds a dash of sarcastic commentary and some eye rolls to go with it whenever Marie speaks. Classic mean-girl move, right?

    What’s even more frustrating is the fact that no one else in the group says anything. They’re better friends with the middle-aged mean girl, so they just sit there quietly, probably hoping not to become the next target. I don’t know about you, but for me, this story brings back a few high school nightmares.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    You’d think we’d all outgrow this nonsense after high school, but nope. Turns out cliques and social power plays aren’t just for teenagers. Adult bullying is like high school all over again, except now the insults come with a side of wine and passive-aggressive comments. Personally, I’d take the wine and ditch the snark—thanks!

    This happens more often than you think, and it’s all about control and insecurity. Just like Marie’s frenemy, adult bullies thrive on social power plays, using silence or snarky remarks to keep themselves on top. The key to shutting it down? Boundaries. Whether you confront the drama or walk away for good, it’s about choosing your peace over their pettiness.

    Make it clear that the bully’s behavior won’t be tolerated. If sarcasm or frosty remarks come your way, calmly call it out. Something like, “I noticed you often have something sarcastic to say. Is there something on your mind?” can shift the dynamic, catching them off guard and forcing them to either explain or back down.

    If that doesn’t work, know when to walk away. It’s perfectly ok to step back from the group if the bully doesn’t change.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Marie’s tormentor isn’t just being a jerk for no reason. She probably enjoys feeling like she’s got some control over the social scene, which is why she acts out whenever Marie shows up. And, since her friends back her up with silence, she feels validated.

    So why don’t the others speak up? It’s easy to wonder why people stay silent, especially when they notice the drama but choose not to intervene. Turns out this happens a lot in social groups, where no one wants to risk rocking the boat or becoming the new target.

    According to the pros, people tend to avoid conflict, especially in established groups, because they fear alienation or ending the relationship. It’s easier to stay quiet and stay safe.

    So, Marie has a few options here—either she confronts the situation without drama, stays and plays it cool (not giving the bully the satisfaction of pushing her out), or she ditches her friend group and finds better people who have her back. I don’t know what you would do, but if it were me, I would go for option 3. Why stay somewhere you feel unwanted? Leaving doesn’t mean “losing”; it means choosing to surround yourself with better people.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    What would you do if you were in Marie’s shoes? Let us know in the comments below.

    Netizens advise the woman to leave the group and find some people who actually have her back

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Share on Facebook
    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    Read less »
    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not bullying but mobbing. The entire group singled out OP. Better leave silently, probably OP can initiate one-on-one meeting with that other member who warned her.

    TheBlueBitterfly
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I had the courage, I would directly confront her the next time she mocks you. "What us your problem with me? Have I offended you in some way." Or dish it right back with eye rolls and "Here we go again, what are we, teenage girls here? Have some self-respect and dignity." And then walk away. Since I'm not the courageous type (and cry at the drop of a hat or freeze up from anxiety lol) I'd just stop hanging out with the whole group. (This is why I really don't have close friends.)

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the idea of simply asking a couple of your favourite people for meet ups. Concentrated niceness, what's not to like?

    Load More Comments
    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not bullying but mobbing. The entire group singled out OP. Better leave silently, probably OP can initiate one-on-one meeting with that other member who warned her.

    TheBlueBitterfly
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I had the courage, I would directly confront her the next time she mocks you. "What us your problem with me? Have I offended you in some way." Or dish it right back with eye rolls and "Here we go again, what are we, teenage girls here? Have some self-respect and dignity." And then walk away. Since I'm not the courageous type (and cry at the drop of a hat or freeze up from anxiety lol) I'd just stop hanging out with the whole group. (This is why I really don't have close friends.)

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the idea of simply asking a couple of your favourite people for meet ups. Concentrated niceness, what's not to like?

    Load More Comments
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda