“I don’t care what we eat for dinner, you can decide!” This dreaded sentence seems innocent at first glance, but all too often escalates into an argument between partners or leaves one pouting and deciding not to eat at all. Why is it so hard to just ask for what we want?
Recently, men on Reddit have been pointing out bad habits they’ve noticed some women have, and being indirect is among them. Below, you’ll find a list of other behaviors that frustrate men, so whether you’re a man or a woman, enjoy reading through and be sure to upvote the habits you can’t stand either.
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Believing that men can read minds.
"If you really loved me, you'd know what I want without asking." HOW? Being in love doesn't grant you ESP. Stop playing stupid games and tell him what you want!
Acting like a b***h isn't a cute quirky personality trait.
Not respecting privacy or any privileged information.
Anything you tell her, or show her, you are *also* telling her friends.
But turn around and do the same thing to your friends? That's a breach of trust.
Willingly give criticism but not being able to take it
I'm a guy. I struggle to take criticism, but I also absolutely refuse to give criticism. I believe that's a more just thing to do than being all give and no take.
Most of the women in my life have simply never said they were sorry about anything. If they say something mean to me, and I get any type of emotion over it, they immediately get defensive and tell me I'm being too sensitive. Then flip it around on me, and I'm the bad guy.
Leaving hair stuck to the shower wall, lol. Ugh.
Everything my wife does is a gift from heaven. Everything I do is expected, and still not enough.
And I'm guessing you're full of gratitude for the odd crumb she tosses your way. She's got you right where she wants you. You're making all the effort in the relationship and she's making just enough to keep you on the hook so you'll always be there if/when she wants to use you.
They don't seem to credit 'men's work' as labor or something worth of gratitude. Like spending my day off getting her oil changed and tires rotated, all the maintenance and repairs inside and outside the house. It seems all the old 'women's work' needs to be split 50-50 now that they are working but if I spend 45 minutes shoveling the driveway there isn't any reduced duty for dishes or laundry, despite the machines doing most the work.
I've gotten tired of the massive disparity in gifts too.
I wake up and spend 20 minutes, everyday making my wife turkish coffee, make breakfast if she's in the mood, feed our cats, the army of neighbors hood strays, do the laundry, hang it outside to dry, collect and put it away which is mainly hers due to her 3 outfit changes a day, spend 10 /12/14 hours working that day, WALK to the store to buy food for dinner, which i prepare for her and i, AND her mother and sister, then do the dishes and put away leftovers, before hauling 80 pounds of trash a block to the dumpster on my way to run errands for my mother....and when i get home to find she's brought another day to a close with her unorganized disaster area spread all over the floor, obstructing access to everything "she's just soo exhausted. Why don't i ever do anything to help her?" Somehow i manage to keep my stuff organized, out of the way and i'm the a*****e for not wanting to have to wade through her mess to get at it.
Being too indirect in communication and passive in relationships.
Taking relationship advice from unhappy or chronically single women.
Counterpoint: maybe chronically single women have really good boundaries and don't settle. I'd take their advice any day.
Workplace bullying. Most bullies I've come across have been women who think they're justified simply because they dislike someone. Social exclusion, passive aggression, reputational destruction, pettiness, and so on. One of the worst examples I've seen was against a young woman who was shy and had a body most women would [die] for (this is relevant). Within the first week, half of the women in the office were gossiping about how the new girl was "weird" and "rude" because she was shy and focused on her work. Then they started mocking her for "showing off her tits and a**e" which translates as she dared to have a great body and wear clothes that fit her. She was seen being friendly with a male colleague who was everybody's friend, so that instantly meant she was a manipulative flirt. "She knows exactly what she's doing." She was let go at the end of her probation because too many people said she was difficult to work with and she didn't fit in. I'm certain she would've been fine if she was less attractive.
I am the manager of a almost complete female team, 23 women and only two men..... I had some terrible issues this kind of sort in the beginning
I've never had a girlfriend admit they were wrong. And it's the exact thing they have said about men for decades.
I found with last relationships girls say they were always in a relationship or two where they thought if they slept with the guy the guy would love them more. Don't do that. If you think a guy will like or love you more if you sleep with him he's not into you and only wants to sleep with you. Once he gets what he wants he's gone. He might stay for a few more screws but he will ultimately leave. Some women also think if I just do more for him and love him more he will change. Nope again. You shouldn't have to do that.
1. Imbalance of homework because “Mens work” still exists and “women’s work” is sexist. I do all serious DIY and repair jobs, I build things that need to be built for the home, I do dirty work like cleaning the tons of hair out the shower (99% not mine) I arrange and manage tradesmen in the home, and I still feel like I do the dishes and clean more.
2. Indecisiveness
3. Her being upset = my problem, me being upset = my problem, that in turn causes her to be upset which is then also my problem. Basically I’m not allowed to be upset or angry, it’s not valid, and I need to fix myself.
I love my partner immensely but these three things get to me, I’ve communicated all of them and we make progress. I’m certainly not perfect either! I do feel like these are partly cultural not personal problems to solve though.
Testing. Asking or doing something just to see what choice I make. < my fiance answered. Both of his ex girlfriends did that ALOT. He told me about it before we dated so I've always tried to not ever do that.
I've never done that to my guy, seems like unnecessary cruel b******t to me, and a waste of time. If I want a hypothetical answer to a hypothetical scenario, I'll ask a hypothetical question - he'll answer that just as well and it's fun to think about What If scenarios together
Not being able to accept the truth about how men feel.
I cannot open up to someone who, upon hearing how something honestly makes me feel, is going to scream at me or hit me for it.
Aligning the truth to their emotions. They will reject facts as the truth because it doesn't match their feelings, which is "their truth"
Basically as their feelings change. The truth changes.
And the old gem that they're just being honest about their feelings, while yours are selfish and manipulative.
Siding with other women by default whenever there's a dispute between a man and a woman. I honestly just don't get it and I've stopped trying to understand why. It could be social and it could be biological for all I know. But women have this incredible tendency to just herd towards other women and become world champion contortionists with how far they bend over backwards to excuse s****y behavior in other women. * When I was 19, I had my first date set up. It was a woman in my class, a simple coffee. I got stood up completely. Waited in front of the shop like an idiot for an hour. I got home and opened up to my sister about it, who told me "Well she doesn't owe you anything." Like, what? We agreed to be there. When I told her as much "Well maybe she was afraid to say 'No' to you." Later that week at our next class I asked if something had happened, to which she responded "I was sooo tired!" When I told my sister? "See? There's your answer." * A long while back there was a post on the OKCupid subreddit about a woman saying a guy, at the start of their date, simply said to her "I'm sorry but you look very different from her picture." Women jumped in to call him an a*****e, a s**thead, and so on. He actually showed up to try and explain himself, but they then jumped down his throat. Only when he showed receipts about her admitting the picture on her profile was four years and 75 pounds ago did he *finally* get a few women begrudgingly agreeing with him that maybe she should have used a more recent picture. * When I was 24, I met my at-the-time girlfriend's group of friends. After they grilled me on a bunch of stuff, one of them started talking about how her boyfriend dumped her because she was seeing another guy on the side. Everyone in the group jumped to her defense with "Well I don't see a ring on your finger!" and "Didn't he only see you like twice a month?" Like, cheating on somebody is indisputably s****y behavior, but there they sat for the next 30 minutes coming up with every excuse in the book. Like, even on advice communities like AITA, people have swapped the gender on identical stories multiple times, finding that people (especially women) are much easier on women for the same behavior. Men do it too, but women's in-group biases have been measured to be four times stronger than men's. Simply, women will overwhelmingly stand behind a s****y woman. It drives me nuts because once you realize it, you can see it everywhere.
I can already see this happening in the comment sections of the posts on this very article. Male perspective explains an issue they had with a woman, comment section tries to relativate immediately why the woman still wasn't an a-sshole. The male version of this article we had last week didn't have that, I just wonder why
I don’t know if a lot of women have this habit, but I know a few cases, the weaponization of sex. Some of my buddies wives or girlfriends will use sex as a weapon in order to coerce certain behaviour.
That's mostly something in the older generations from what I see, and it's really weird. The whole thing should be passion, not obligation and force
Weaponizing breakup, well maybe not all women.
But when a girl does that to me even if she doesn't mean it, I take it very seriously. U want to give up on the relationship just like that? Fine.
Don't use or threaten with the word breakup if you don't mean it, for both ways. Breakup should be the last resort if anything.
Double standards. How something can be okay for them to do but is a deal breaker if the guy does it.
Expect the man to respect her boundaries and provide her with all her needs (emotional, physical, etc.) but absolutely refuse to reciprocate. THEN overreact and turn everything around on the man when he calls her out on her s**t or asks her to meet his needs or respect his boundaries. F*****g every relationship I've ever had. I'm not bitter....
Giving unsolicited advice to their husband. For example giving unsolicited tree trimming advice to your husband this past weekend while standing out on the deck (that your husband built). This is just an example of course.
Lack of accountability Blame men when no men are involved Believe emotions to be more important than factual events
No this pisses me off. The fact that men actually truly believe that they do things with logic more than emotion is simply untrue. And there is not nearly enough space here on BP for me to give all of the many examples that clearly demonstrate men are just as, if not more so emotional than women are. And if you get angry at this without even looking into it, then my point is further proven. There is a reason that the majority of Darwin Award winners are male.
Going to the garden center, coming home with a bunch of seedlings,plants and then abandoning them once they get home to die slow painful deaths... unplanted and forgotten.
Hmm... you're not referring to "women". You're talking about one specific woman. And a very bad at gardening, as it seems.
Minimizing the struggles men have because women have it worse.
this one really gets me like there will be a post about men's issues and there will always be some women who will completely disregard the whole thing because women have it worse problems suffered by one person doesnt somehow lessen more serious problems
The classic two-face attitude. To each other and to other men too.
I have worked with men and with women… And I have observed that the backbiting is way worse with the women
Disrespecting their man in public
Eh, "disrespecting their man"? Everybody seems to be disrespectful to everybody else nowadays. I just can't stand that "women should respect their husbands"-stuff. Everybody should treat each other with respect.
Speaking negatively of men all at once. You speak truth to reality.
The irony of saying this on a thread entirely devoted to lumping all women under one umbrella is astonishing.
No self awareness despite claiming they are so self aware and mindful of their actions and others feelings..
They are not one bit.
I find it funny when the umpteenth man-bashing article comes out and a large amount of women pile on, but one article the other way and wow are there some defensive women.... I will say the same thing as I do on those articles: A lot of these things aren't specific to gender.
What rubs me about this is the title. Women are "female" but men are men. It's usually intended as an insult when used in this manner, and meant to dehumanize. I don't know how that trend started, but it's definitely an incel trope. Obviously we all do things to p**s each other off, but sometimes the way things are worded show how you view someone under the surface.
Load More Replies...Once again, a post generalisation of what one sex 'reportedly' thinks of another sex. And not in a 'funny' way but toxic. Odd how I keep reading about how we're supposed to be more accepting, less 'hateful', strive for equality and yet time and time again we're polarised by sensationalistic rubbish like this. The hypocrisy of sites like this drips...
Oh for FFS.... Like my hubby never left his whiskers in the sink, or did anything gross? LOL, no. People as a species are kinda gross. Just is what it is.
Wow, downvoted in less than 15 minutes. A new record! I'm a feminist, and I'm gonna say it: People can be awful regardless of race, religion, gender, etc. For every negative men throw down about women, there's one women can throw down about men, and they're *often the same thing with slight variations in wording*. (Messy, selfish, uncommunicative, immature, etc.)
Load More Replies...I find it funny when the umpteenth man-bashing article comes out and a large amount of women pile on, but one article the other way and wow are there some defensive women.... I will say the same thing as I do on those articles: A lot of these things aren't specific to gender.
What rubs me about this is the title. Women are "female" but men are men. It's usually intended as an insult when used in this manner, and meant to dehumanize. I don't know how that trend started, but it's definitely an incel trope. Obviously we all do things to p**s each other off, but sometimes the way things are worded show how you view someone under the surface.
Load More Replies...Once again, a post generalisation of what one sex 'reportedly' thinks of another sex. And not in a 'funny' way but toxic. Odd how I keep reading about how we're supposed to be more accepting, less 'hateful', strive for equality and yet time and time again we're polarised by sensationalistic rubbish like this. The hypocrisy of sites like this drips...
Oh for FFS.... Like my hubby never left his whiskers in the sink, or did anything gross? LOL, no. People as a species are kinda gross. Just is what it is.
Wow, downvoted in less than 15 minutes. A new record! I'm a feminist, and I'm gonna say it: People can be awful regardless of race, religion, gender, etc. For every negative men throw down about women, there's one women can throw down about men, and they're *often the same thing with slight variations in wording*. (Messy, selfish, uncommunicative, immature, etc.)
Load More Replies...