40 Millennial Women Call Out How Toxic The Media Is And Break Down What They Found Harmful When Growing Up
InterviewWhen you look back on the early 2000s, what comes to mind? Do you immediately start singing “Oops!...I Did It Again”? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah) Are you transported back to the days of low-rise jeans, crop tops, cargo pants, and mini skirts? Or does your nose immediately fill with the scent of Japanese Cherry Blossom body spray from Bath & Body Works that was a cherished Christmas present to you when you were in middle school? Looking back on the early 2000s can be extremely nostalgic for many of us, but it can also be triggering.
If you ever happened to take a glance at the tabloids at the time, the headlines were ruthless, brutally mocking women for their weight, their relationship status and any other personal details they could get their hands on (or simply fabricate). Misogyny ran rampant through films, TV shows and the way we treated celebrities, so many millennials grew up being exposed to these sexist messages at impressionable ages. That’s why, now, women are speaking up about how this toxic era of media affected them, in hopes that their children's generations won’t have the same experiences.
Tara Watson sparked a conversation on Twitter last week, by calling out the 2001 film Bridget Jones’s Diary for portraying the lead character as “fat” and allowing that to be a running joke in the film. Plenty of other women then joined in on the conversation, so below, you’ll find some of their criticisms for the media of the time.
Keep reading to also find an interview with Tara about what inspired her to start this conversation, as well as interviews with a few of the women who chimed into the conversation on Twitter: the hosts of the Read, Watch or DNF podcast and blogger and content creator Magali Vaz. Be sure to upvote all of the posts that encapsulate how you felt during the early 2000s, and let us know in the comments if this era of media had any impact on you. Then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article calling out blatant sexism that still happens today, you can find that right here!
After Tara Watson called out the film Bridget Jones's Diary for giving women "trust issues", many others shared how the media of the early 2000s negatively affected them
Image source: tara_watson_
Image source: tara_watson_
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Let me first start by saying that I acknowledge that the media today is nowhere near perfect. Body standards are still unattainable, women are still expected to never age, and diet culture is still running rampant, especially online. But some things have improved. It takes a long time to correct systemic issues, and when sexism is ingrained into many cultures, it takes quite a bit of effort to eradicate it. But one reason why I know things have improved, at least a little, is because when I watch many of these films or shows today, I know they haven’t aged well. They leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I’m confident that these storylines would not be successful with today’s audiences.
For example, I recently watched Friends for the first time, and wow, was I appalled by the “transformation” they give Monica to play a younger version of herself. Dawning a fat suit for comedic effect would not fly today, or at least I hope it wouldn’t. The joke is a cheap trick and in horrible taste. Of course, fatphobia still exists today, but I am confident that a plotline such as that on a popular sitcom today would face a mountain of backlash.
They. Called. Lucy Lawless Fat??? Okay - so... uhm... maybe it's the dudes who have body dysmorphia when looking at women because... Ms. Lawless is a stone cold fox. I'd LOVE to have her proportions.
No, she's a healthy weight. Unlike the sickly, anorexic look that media tells us is, "normal."
Even many of the films that were extremely popular in the early 2000s would never receive the same response with a modern audience. All of the jokes about Bridget Jones’ weight, along with remarks about weight in Mean Girls, The Devil Wears Prada, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Bride Wars, and countless other films and shows would definitely be critiqued today. I’m not saying that all of those movies are awful; there are redeeming moments in some. But due to all of the discussions that have taken place in mainstream media about mental health, body positivity, eating disorder awareness and sexism over the years, I am optimistic that these storylines would not be received the same way today.
Unfortunately, that does not negate the impact that these plots had on young, impressionable viewers at the time. Countless women on Twitter shared their own struggles with disordered eating or body dysmorphia, fueled by the atrocious media at the time. And these struggles don’t vanish overnight, they can become permanent issues that take years in therapy or excruciating personal growth to overcome. Let’s look at eating disorders, for example. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, “10,200 deaths each year are the direct result of an eating disorder—that’s one death every 52 minutes.” Unfortunately, the media is very powerful when it comes to how impressionable audiences view themselves, so it’s extremely irresponsible to spread messaging that promotes disordered eating.
That is in fact what they have done to clothing sizes over the decades. I've taken my measurements from the 80's and put them in clothing size charts now and the size is waaaay off what I wore back then. Like why do they do this? I often wonder if it's to make us feel bad for how "big" we were or to make us feel as though we are "smaller" now.
The comparison at the time was with Kate Moss. Of course everyone seems fat if compared to Kate Moss.
To learn more about what inspired this conversation on Twitter in the first place, we reached out to Tara Watson, the editor of Punkee. She shared with Bored Panda that she started rewatching Bridget Jones’s Diary at Christmas time because she loved the movies growing up. “Last year, I was watching it with my mum, and we were both shocked to see how thin Renee Zellweger was in the first movie. While she is often seen wearing frumpy and oversized clothing in the movies, there's several scenes where she's not wearing much at all and there's no denying that is a thin woman!”
“Despite this, Bridget calls herself ‘fat’ throughout, and the characters around her reinforce this skewed view,” Tara pointed out. “I didn't even recognise how odd this was while growing up in the 00s, as seeing extremely thin women represented everywhere was the norm. I was left baffled that these movies had skewed my idea of women's body shapes for so long.”
We were also curious how Tara thinks this media affected her while growing up. “To see a woman who is about a size 10 represented as ‘fat’ definitely affects how young women see themselves,” she shared. “It sets unrealistic beauty standards and stigmatizes any body shapes that aren't a size 6. Women's bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and no good can come from deeming one size as superior to another.”
But Tara is optimistic that the media is moving in a healthier direction. “The body positivity movement has seen small strides made, which has translated to TV shows like ‘Shrill’, ‘Insecure', and ‘Orange is the New Black’,” she told Bored Panda. “But there's still so much more work to be done in normalizing seeing an entire spectrum of body shapes on screen -- not just thin and mostly white bodies. That being said, thankfully I can't imagine some of the dialogue in Bridget Jones would fly today.”
Finally, Tara wanted to thank all of the women who contributed to her thread. “Bridget Jones is just one example of the countless harmful depictions of women in pop culture which set unrealistic beauty standards. I had so many responses from women sharing their struggles with body confidence growing up, so thank you for sharing your stories.”
We also reached out to Mel B. and Jackie D., the hosts of the Read, Watch or DNF podcast, as they joined in on the conversation on Twitter as well. Last year, during April, they covered some of Jackie’s favorites from when she was younger to celebrate her birthday month. And one of these favorites just happened to be Bridget Jones’s Diary. “Watching Bridget Jones’s Diary 20 years later was surprising for sure,” they told Bored Panda. “Jackie says she believes as a 20-something young woman without much life experience, she found this story to be cute, funny, and relatable.”
“Now, we both agree that the level of cringe in both the book and movie are unforgivable,” the hosts shared. “Like honestly, what were we actually thinking back in 2001? The work chat exchanges between Bridget and her BOSS are so inappropriate - especially considering there was no prior relationship between these two. So she’s wearing not-so work appropriate clothing, and that’s an invitation to bring up her breasts!?”
“Looking back to 2001; we accepted that 134lbs was overweight because every magazine had features of candid celebrity photos highlighting cellulite, belly jiggles, double chins (and let’s be real, none of them actually had any of that),” Mel and Jackie shared. “So being in our teens and early 20s in the early 2000s– media made sure to remind us every day that we weren’t good enough, so when we go to see Bridget Jones’s Diary, we happily agree with all of her griping and cheer her on has she goes through fad diets, and empathize when she stress binges. Then to top it all off, we welcome the sexual harassment from the cute boss because we obviously don’t deserve the attention.”
She only gained 20 lbs for Bridget Jones. So probably only went from a size zero to a size six—-maximum.
And as far as the media today, Mel and Jackie say we still have a long way to go. “We wish we could say that [it’s gotten] better, but unfortunately we just featured an adaptation of a more recently published book, that is supposed to be an ode to female survival and empowerment, but in reality, it’s just glorified Stockholm syndrome. It parades a young neglected and traumatized girl as a survivor (which she definitely is), but we’re guided to swoon over a love interest that displays all the tendencies of a predator. But hey, he’s cute and called her sweet names. And, oh yeah, saved her…?”
Mel and Jackie then provided a few examples of media that they believe are doing things right. “Authors like Sarah J Maas write female characters who can take care of themselves, but maybe choose to take on the grumpy sexy love interest, but they don’t need them,” the hosts told Bored Panda. “Platforms such as Twitter, Twitch, and YouTube provide spaces for young women to feel comfortable expressing themselves- though not entirely flawless, but we find support and strength in numbers there.”
“We are grown women now with teenage daughters, so we hope that we are guiding them well enough where they’ll feel empowered to get out there in the world. But we’re not sure who on the outside is helping with that,” Mel and Jackie shared. “One of them really doesn’t like romance in shows and movies - which highlighted a reality that a production can’t seem to not include some sort of love/lust/sex subplot, even when it provides nothing to the story. But sex sells, right?”
If you’d like to listen to hear more from Mel and Jackie, be sure to check out their podcast Read, Watch or DNF right here!
I don't think they wanted us to think she was fat. This was to show that she gained a bit of fat and she didn't fit in the same clothes (like she gained 5-7cm on her waist). That's what was going on here. She was still slim, but not as slim as before. Who on earth would have thought she was fat in this scene???
We also reached out to blogger and content creator Magali Vaz, who contributed to Tara’s thread on Twitter as well. When it comes to how the media of the early 2000s affected her, she told Bored Panda, “I do think movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary were part of a larger culture that promoted extreme fatphobia. We were shown absolutely normal, average bodies and told that this is what an overweight person looks like, and that being fat or overweight was one of the most unattractive things, and that we should all aspire to be skinny. I think the media is one of the main reasons that most millennials have body image issues!”
Magali is also optimistic that things are improving, though. “While today's media is far from perfect, I do think it is more diverse and inclusive,” she shared. “Even tabloids don't comment about people's bodies as aggressively as they used to.”
If it's difficult for girls and women to get free of this culture, I just can imagine how it is for girls and women INSIDE this industry.
I look back at photos of me at my lowest adult weight, probably 20 years old, and I look kind of sick. I'm trying to lose COVID weight now but more trying to get healthier by eating nutritious foods and going to the gym. I'm more muscular than I ever have been, and I think that's way more attractive than looking malnourished.
We were also curious what sorts of changes Magali would like to see to prevent young girls from being fed the same toxic messages that we heard growing up. “I'd love for movies and television to feature people of different sizes, races, genders, sexual orientations, etc.,” she told Bored Panda. “More genuine diversity without it feeling like they're trying to tick a box or fill a quota. If younger folks could see more versions of themselves or people they'd like to grow into, that'd be amazing.”
If you’d like to hear more from Magali or keep up with her travels, be sure to check out her blog right here!
I’m not even a millennial, and I still remember being exposed to many of these toxic messages. We still have a long way to go in terms of eliminating misogyny from the media, but having conversations like this is one of the best way to educate the younger generations. They don’t have to stand for these outdated views, and they certainly shouldn’t support them. Keep upvoting the posts calling out messaging that you can’t believe was fed to us, and then let us know in the comments if you can recall any other toxic messages the media conveyed to you when you were younger. Then, if you’d like to read another Bored Panda article calling out blatant sexism that we still encounter today, you can find that right here!
Not that I think it's a good movie but with this logic we would never watch any movies, TV, drive anywhere or do anything or even eat because you can find connections or support tonegative things everywhere. In fact you're gross if you touch the filthy money with slave owners on it and oil is associated with oppressing women in the middle east the list of connections to atrocities is very long and touches everything.
Here's a male Gen X voice. Bridget Jones was plenty thin. I did not know they made two others. I thought the joke was that she believed she was fat, but then there's these two men attempting to pursue her because they think she's hot. I found her character annoying, but she is a beautiful woman.
The only thing I can remember from that movie is George Clooneys bat-suit having bat-nipples…I have forgotten everything else about it
All of Ally McBeal, the women in Friends, even Daphne from Frasier
I'll tell you why. Look at their neck and chest areas. The "skinny" chick has bones sticking out and the "fat" one doesn't. That about sums this all up perfectly. Seems you need to look literally like a skeleton to be consider normal and healthy, which makes NO sense at all, kids!
You'd have thought, since it's Meryl Streep, they'd have made the clothes fit HER, not the other way around... Although, of course, this goes great with the movies story line...
Reminds me when I had to find a tank top ... and the woman at the store looked at me (with barely hidden disdain) "Well, you're at least a L or XL..." and I was like... say what now. Same here... was a solid medium *everywhere else*.
Are things that much better now? Instead of tabloids commenting on women's shape and holding up skinny people as an example, celebrities post pictures of themselves which have been edited to the point of completely unreal, and are called brave if once in a while they post an unfiltered picture of what they actually look like.
Exactly. Now we get EXTREME round hip shapes, microscopic waists and huge huge booties, and people clap for it and say “wow look how diverse and inclusive we are being, this is how women actually look!” Meanwhile 90% of the ads / models like that are photoshopped or have BBLs. At least you can lose weight to be thin. There’s nothing short of surgery you can do to achieve todays standard. Just look at the Fashion Nova ads on Instagram and tell me I’m wrong.
Load More Replies...Bridget Jones' Diary (the novel) was meant to be satire, in a similar vein to Adrian Mole - someone writing from such a narrow personal perspective they miss the really obvious things happening in front of their face. Or they interpret events one way, when reality shows another. It was satirising the culture at the time which all these lovely tweets are repeating - Bridget had been brainwashed by the media that a UK size 10 was fat. That was the point. And the filmmakers missed it by several miles, giving us a mere romcom with a "clever" casting gag (Colin Firth was literally who Helen Fielding was imagining when she wrote Mr Darcy), instead of taking a look in the mirror themselves.
Loved the book, hated the movie for these very reasons.
Load More Replies...Yeah, we all remember when having a ‘heroin chic’ body was considered ideal and not dangerous. [Edit: it is 100% dangerous].
And that began in the 1990s for extreme thinness (Kate Moss et al.)....
Load More Replies...It was a horrendously toxic time for women and body image - the examples given here are just a small sample. It caused me to have an eating disorder as a young woman. I recovered but I still carry that old thinking around with me. To think now how much the likes of Weinstein and Wexner drove it creeps me out.
Ok, but calling women "stick figures" or calling all women under a certain weight "anorexic" is also toxic body shaming.
But it's important to note that the relationship between weight and mortality is a J curve.
Load More Replies...I know it says right at the top of the article that this isn't for us men ,and that our opinions are irrelevant, but I'm gonna give mine anyway. During the 90's the most attractive celebrities IMO were the more normal looking ones. Lucy Lawless was (and still is) hot AF, but even she was what I considered thin and athletic. The majority of them I didn't find attractive, pretty maybe, but not attractive. The were too skinny. I always had a thing for Liv Tyler's face, and when she put on a bit of weight and the magazines started calling her 'dumpy' I actually got pissed off, she was getting sexy not fat!!! I was a s**t time for almost all women back then, but I think nowadays it's more toxic, but less frequent.
Also having been around at the time, I think there was a big gap between what media was telling women that men found attractive, and what men actually found attractive. While women's magazines and newspapers were pushing super thin as the ideal, if you look at things like the FHM 100 sexiest lists it's women like Gillian Anderson, Kelly Brook, Liz Hurley, Sandra Bullock, Catherine Zita-Jones who are coming out on top. Not that these women were overweight, but they had actual curves at the time
Load More Replies...Well, I've been called ugly because I've been Twiggy-skinny all my life, and with an almost flat chest too. So it's not only heavier bodies that received toxic comments during that time. Before I met my bf, I seriously thought a woman is not a woman without big boobs 🙃
Yes, women if all shapes and sizes have been body shamed or bullied, which is never right. But the pressure, expectations, and what was deemed attractive in every corner of society and media is on a whole other level.There is a big difference from being bullied by a couple people and what this whole post is saying. I am sure I am going to get down voted for saying this, but this whole article is focusing on the impact that society, movies, magazines, music, fashion, had on girls and women to be as thin as possible. Being told In every facet of everyday life, everywhere you look, everything you hear, everything you read, caused catastrophic damage to a vast majority of women and girls that has had generational consequences. It was on a level that cannot be comprehend for those who were not targeted. Lets try not to take away from the experiences of others. We are not trying to say that skinny people never got called names or that it doesn't matter, because it does. It is just that right now we are focusing on the experiences and impact on millions of girls and women who were bigger than a size 2.
Load More Replies...Around this time I was in middle school and remember the girls in my class competing to see who's spine stuck out the most. You were fat if you couldn't clack, clack it on the back of the plastic chair like a friggin instrument. Twisted. In the words of Sondheim: be careful the things you say, children will listen.
All of this resonates with me so much. I was a size 6 -8 in highschool in the late 90s. I had a very hour glass figure, and very large breasts (I actually had a reduction when I was 20 for back issues) I was told by a guy I liked that I was too chubby. Girls would ask me "how do you play sports or dance or swim with such big boobs? In front of the entire locker room. Imagine if I asked a girl " how do you do this with sick small boobs"? I was fat shamed by my PE teacher during the annual fitness test (even though I passed it all with no problem) So hard to find clothes that fit my body type, had to have many prom dresses altered. I look back at pictures of myself and can't believe how great I looked, yet I always felt like I was a freak.
You don't think girls were teased for having small/non-existent boobs? I was very skinny unti I hit menopause and would have given my eyeteeth for a set of decent boobs. That arrogant tone other girls would use as if I could actually help it.
Load More Replies...I still remember when that supermodel - who is/was a size 4 was told by her agency she was 'too fat' for modeling... and how insulting it was that they had touched up her photo SO MUCH for an Asian ad campaign that she looked like ... well... she looked like 'anime in real life' - aka: a bobble head. It was ... horrifying (her head was larger than the width of her waist in the doctored ad).
Yep. It was Filippa Hamilton. Here is an article about the ad: https://tinyurl.com/Ralph-Lauren-photoshopped-ad
Load More Replies...I am SO OVER this nonsense. I'd rather be at home with my bird enjoying my life than dealing with this. It's very real. It's impossible to stay 18 and a size minus zero your whole life. Not sorry, I wasn't put on earth to feel bad about myself so that a man can be happy.
Or so that a load of deluded other women can feel smug or sad
Load More Replies...As a guy I think it's crazy that the media even pushes that super skinny look. It's pretty much the general consensus among the guys I talk to that those so called "heavy" girls are much sexier than women with the starving model look. Also, I have a huge crush on Martine McCutcheon from Love Actually and think she's one of the most beautiful women on the planet. How dare anyone shame her for anything. Martine, I'm here for you if you need me haha
I don't remember half of these people being considered fat....maybe it was a regional thing?
Magazines call them fat when they're not, to make their readers - who may be larger - feel better about themselves and buy more magazines.
Load More Replies...And not one of these women pictured are over 30. We need to accept that women age too. In northern Europe, our news Anchors look like real women with faces that move and normal sized lips. Even" love yourself" Oprah, hasn't aged like a normal person, she just can spend the money for great surgeons and blood transfusions from 18 year olds.
False. For example, a quick Google search tells you that some of these were over 30 at the time of the photo. Especially that photo of the Spice Girls!
Load More Replies...Or when lady Gaga did her Super Bowl performance & they called her fat because she had a tiny bit of stomach skin "hanging" over her skin tight shorts that she wore underneath like 3 outfits... so they literally had to be like vacuum sealed on her... but she wasn't even remotely fat. I actually think she looked better than ever! But they compared her to her when she first came out & she was literally anorexic & you could see every rib & bone in her body...... yeah that s**t pissed me the f**k off. Magazine covers were calling her "pudgy" or something like that. The woman was still a size 4 or below. Like... SO SKINNY!
I got down to 89 pounds and still wanted to lose weight. I lost years of my life to anorexia and it permanently effed up my body in multiple ways. And now I'm watching my niece start to do the same thing, and nothing anyone says gets through to her.
Yup NGL it seriously fked with me too. I had body dysmorphia for years and developed a very unhealthy relationship with food. And now I really am overweight I wish I could go back to when i thought I was fat, and was actually cute and shapely!! Nevermind, my husband is my biggest fan and never stops saying how beautiful i am, even if I think he's deluded 😉
I think that women are harder and judge more than men. As a man I have never heard another guy refer to any of the above examples as fat. I do hear it a lot from women and from those stupid magazines. Maybe it is about time we all just stop listening to theses people who seem to want to dictate body type and just be happy with yourself.
Men have always dictated beauty standards for women
Load More Replies...Só, i might be wrong, but i believe that no sane man would ever call any of these women fat, lol, if i had to bet i would say that it where women calling other women fat.
I know what you mean, but there are some deluded male puppies out there, and people in the business
Load More Replies...I struggled with my body image my whole life; I can't even remember what I looked like as a teenager but I do remember thinking I hated my body. I was very tall, I have been over 6-ft tall since I was 15, and quite busty. I have been a Plus size my whole adult life. Funnily enough a few years ago I lost huge amount of weight, which for me was quite drastic; even though I was still considered a plus size to me I was emaciated I could see every single bone on my body: my hip bones stuck out, I had no breasts, no bum and a gap as wide as my first between my thighs. And that was when I realised that I had a problem with how I saw myself, it had nothing to do with my weight. It was never discovered why I lost such a huge amount of weight, I hadn't changed anything in my life. I have chronic illnesses that have nothing to do with my weight but having them has caused me to put on a lot of weight. I'm ok because I love my body now, it's kept me alive and safe.
Go back to Twiggy (1960s) to blame the "you're not thin enough) and retouched photos and and and.... We're none of us safe from the image of what we're "meant" or "not meant" to be, unfortunately.
We're going to Disney World for the first time next month for a longish weekend, and I bought a swimsuit for the first time since I was fifteen. I haven't worn one in 30 years, and I'm roughly the same size I was in high school that I am now. I'm 5'10" and weigh 160 pounds. I've gained ten pounds since high school. I've heard you're a big girl my entire life, and it wasn't until the last couple of months that I thought, "Huh. I am big, but it's not fat." And ya know what, I look pretty darn good for being 45. F**k you, mom, for telling me my entire life you'd be beautiful but---
My dear you are slim, and if you have gained only ten pounds since high school, you are a rarity! You go and have fun!
Load More Replies...I'm 31, 38in shoulders, 29in waist, and 38in hips. I'm 5'2" and weigh 140lbs. Technically overweight, but I have advanced endometriosis and hypothyroid. I've had it stuck in my head ever since Keira Knightley really started to appear (with PotC) that I had to be thin like that to be considered attractive. I had an eating disorder in my senior year of high school where I was eating probably no more than 600 calories in a day, and was down to 110lbs. I'm still stuck in my mind that I have to be small, that I have to be super thin to be attractive. Meanwhile, I have people who balk when I tell them I'm overweight at 140lbs at 5'2". They think I'm joking, but medically, I AM overweight. So, the cycle continues.
You sound like a perfect hourglass. Just make sure you have a comfortable bra, then go out and slay!
Load More Replies...Today, we have the same body type models wearing fat suits to pose as "plus size".
Gonna age myself here. Remember when Sailor Moon came out in the US? Anyone remember the dolls Bandai put out at first? Chunky thighs and an actual waist. In short, they looked like normal teenagers. I loved them; I still have em packed up in storage. ....... Then Irwin (from Canada) rereleased them and they looked like Barbie!!! Ugh.
I remember when Coca Rocha was the toast of the modelling world, until she became a size 4, and then she was fired from a lucrative contract--it went public--but this girl is as thin as a rail and tall AF. There was also an expose about models during fashion week going on IV drips and eating cotton balls so that they wouldn't be hungry. Yup.
Imagine a world where Hollywood and advertisers didn't tell us what's hot and what's not, and we were just free to appreciate what we want. The good news is, it is getting better. I see it in the malls, and on the big screen. More shapes and sizes are represented, and we might even be on our way to learning that one isn't necessarily better than another. People don't have to aspire to look like someone else. We just are, and that's ok. Also shout out to Mel B. and Jackie D. at Read, Watch or DNF. They are awesome, and you should definitely listen to their podcast.
women get more shame for it by far than men, but the depiction of ideal male physique is equally, if not more so unrealistic. especially since height is usually a big factor in it.
At least for the men "Dad Bod" is becoming an affectionate 'thang'. What do we have? MILF? Cougar? Oh hey... even those insulting-to-women-over-25 tropes require women to have ridiculous proportions.
Load More Replies...There are bodyweightlimits that are unhealthy, this I am aware of. Everything in between is just personal busines- and everyone who jugde you by your weight, age, gender etc. without even knowing you may 1.want to make money by your urge to adapt his opinions 2.try to raise his selfesteem by pushing yours down and finally 3.it's an excellent alarmsignal who to avoid, cause they always find a way to judge and are simply not the kind of tribe you should join and listen to ... Look for brilliant women that inspire you and ask yourself, why you admire them- it's probably not caused by some kind of appearance that fits in judgemental frames.
Nowadays I have a more relaxed attitude about what is thin, what is normal and what it overweight. One of the things that helped me to notice I was being fed BS was my local newspaper - every week they had a pictorial where couples could send in a wedding photo with their announcement. None of these women looked like Kate Moss and most of them were quite curvy. They were normal, healthy women. If you want to be sexist about it, as no doubt someone will be, these were the women who were 'getting the men' I have come to believe that the image of women is directed at women and not at men who, according to this anyway, seem less concerned about dress size. Maybe I'm wrong but it's just something I noticed..
Is this a cultural thing? Maybe specific to movie stars and models? I am 176 cm (5'9) and weigh around 60 kg (133 lb) and all my life I have been called skinny.
It could very well be a cultural thing. In the early nineties when I was growing up, a body-type style called heroine chic was popular in the United States and the United Kingdom. It favoured skinny body types with no curves, pale skins, and dark circles or bags under the eyes. Now, the slim-thick figure popularised by the Kardashians is very much in.
Load More Replies...I did a research paper on Marilyn Monroe in college she wore a size 14. The standards change with each director and how f%^k able a girl is that standard is gross, u reasonable and plai. Stupid for a woman to tolerate. Whe. I wore a size 8 I looked like I had been in a concentration camp. Ladies love the skin your in and if the bozos of the world don’t like it suggest we hold them to the same standards
Male here with 5 sisters: It went both ways. As a kid I was told I should look like the pro-athletes on TV or worse, the men from animated shows like X-Men or Batman. I was expected to be smart, funny, tall, dark, hansom, wealthy, well-rounded, and always smarter than all the other boys. Not to mention cis-het. The toxic c**p that was funneled to all of us. I just think that most men my age are still toxic af so they don't realize or speak out about the fact they were brainwashed into being douchebags.
My 90's teenage body hang up was not my weight but how freaking pale I am! All of my friends were tanning. I tried and would either burn or just get more freckles. I tried the spray tan and turned so orange my mom felt bad and let me stay home from school for 2 days until I could get it to fade. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't pursue more tanning I'd probably have skin cancer by now if I did!
Every generation has issues with how mass media made them feel inadequate. I'm genx and used to do a bit of modelling in the 80s. The standards were never healthy. There's no way I was going to mess with my health and turn it into a career though.
Bridget Jones was never fat, that was the point. We were never meant to think she was. It's her own self-image that was fat. The whole series is about flaws. She has a wildly distorted view of herself and also views other people in her life through that lense. Others have flaws, which she is quick to point out, but they are more "successful", so she compares herself to them to find what she is doing wrong. The whole thing of Mark liking her "just the way she is" isn't him accepting she is fat, stupid or awkward. It is him accepting her for the flawed human that she is, while she does the same for him.
So now I'm wondering why this is still a thing. It seems as a society we've been fighting these "ideal bodies" for generations now, fighting what's considered overweight, fighting people who think skin and bones is considered healthy and sexy. We seem to be in the majority. So why has this been pushed down our throats for generations when it seems like it's the less popular way? How did it become something we need to fight when it was hated by many?
I think it's better now. Sure, media can still be toxic as hell, but back then, it was something else.
Apparently woman are still buying into this image to be defending themselves so rabidly. Vote with your wallets -- quit listening to this and quit buying what they sell. Early in my 20s my doctor said I was healthy and strong, so many other women were sacrificing this for a styled image. And I've been healthy ever since . . .
I had an eating disorder but not from any of this. Mine stemmed from a traumatic event. I don't remember most of these girls being called fat though. Maybe 2 or 3.
Gaslighting at its finest. Modern day "fatphobia" is not about shaming normal women. It is about pushing back against the anti-science claim that obesity is a preference that carries no consequences. Big can be beautiful sure, but it most definitely is not healthy. The biggest health issues of our time revolve around cardiovascular disease and diabetes.
Just f*****g start being happy with yourself. If unhappy: do something and dress to your body in the meantime. I felt fat/bad/unhealthy/what have you weighing 75kg, being 1m77. Bought a better bikini and started sporting and eating different to fit in the old ones again.
This never left any marks in my mind. I guess I remember other things about movies and in Bridget Jones and Love Actually, I classified the weight focus as humour. So no harm done to my millenial brain. Also, maybe let's stop calling people thin when they are actually normal.
Are things that much better now? Instead of tabloids commenting on women's shape and holding up skinny people as an example, celebrities post pictures of themselves which have been edited to the point of completely unreal, and are called brave if once in a while they post an unfiltered picture of what they actually look like.
Exactly. Now we get EXTREME round hip shapes, microscopic waists and huge huge booties, and people clap for it and say “wow look how diverse and inclusive we are being, this is how women actually look!” Meanwhile 90% of the ads / models like that are photoshopped or have BBLs. At least you can lose weight to be thin. There’s nothing short of surgery you can do to achieve todays standard. Just look at the Fashion Nova ads on Instagram and tell me I’m wrong.
Load More Replies...Bridget Jones' Diary (the novel) was meant to be satire, in a similar vein to Adrian Mole - someone writing from such a narrow personal perspective they miss the really obvious things happening in front of their face. Or they interpret events one way, when reality shows another. It was satirising the culture at the time which all these lovely tweets are repeating - Bridget had been brainwashed by the media that a UK size 10 was fat. That was the point. And the filmmakers missed it by several miles, giving us a mere romcom with a "clever" casting gag (Colin Firth was literally who Helen Fielding was imagining when she wrote Mr Darcy), instead of taking a look in the mirror themselves.
Loved the book, hated the movie for these very reasons.
Load More Replies...Yeah, we all remember when having a ‘heroin chic’ body was considered ideal and not dangerous. [Edit: it is 100% dangerous].
And that began in the 1990s for extreme thinness (Kate Moss et al.)....
Load More Replies...It was a horrendously toxic time for women and body image - the examples given here are just a small sample. It caused me to have an eating disorder as a young woman. I recovered but I still carry that old thinking around with me. To think now how much the likes of Weinstein and Wexner drove it creeps me out.
Ok, but calling women "stick figures" or calling all women under a certain weight "anorexic" is also toxic body shaming.
But it's important to note that the relationship between weight and mortality is a J curve.
Load More Replies...I know it says right at the top of the article that this isn't for us men ,and that our opinions are irrelevant, but I'm gonna give mine anyway. During the 90's the most attractive celebrities IMO were the more normal looking ones. Lucy Lawless was (and still is) hot AF, but even she was what I considered thin and athletic. The majority of them I didn't find attractive, pretty maybe, but not attractive. The were too skinny. I always had a thing for Liv Tyler's face, and when she put on a bit of weight and the magazines started calling her 'dumpy' I actually got pissed off, she was getting sexy not fat!!! I was a s**t time for almost all women back then, but I think nowadays it's more toxic, but less frequent.
Also having been around at the time, I think there was a big gap between what media was telling women that men found attractive, and what men actually found attractive. While women's magazines and newspapers were pushing super thin as the ideal, if you look at things like the FHM 100 sexiest lists it's women like Gillian Anderson, Kelly Brook, Liz Hurley, Sandra Bullock, Catherine Zita-Jones who are coming out on top. Not that these women were overweight, but they had actual curves at the time
Load More Replies...Well, I've been called ugly because I've been Twiggy-skinny all my life, and with an almost flat chest too. So it's not only heavier bodies that received toxic comments during that time. Before I met my bf, I seriously thought a woman is not a woman without big boobs 🙃
Yes, women if all shapes and sizes have been body shamed or bullied, which is never right. But the pressure, expectations, and what was deemed attractive in every corner of society and media is on a whole other level.There is a big difference from being bullied by a couple people and what this whole post is saying. I am sure I am going to get down voted for saying this, but this whole article is focusing on the impact that society, movies, magazines, music, fashion, had on girls and women to be as thin as possible. Being told In every facet of everyday life, everywhere you look, everything you hear, everything you read, caused catastrophic damage to a vast majority of women and girls that has had generational consequences. It was on a level that cannot be comprehend for those who were not targeted. Lets try not to take away from the experiences of others. We are not trying to say that skinny people never got called names or that it doesn't matter, because it does. It is just that right now we are focusing on the experiences and impact on millions of girls and women who were bigger than a size 2.
Load More Replies...Around this time I was in middle school and remember the girls in my class competing to see who's spine stuck out the most. You were fat if you couldn't clack, clack it on the back of the plastic chair like a friggin instrument. Twisted. In the words of Sondheim: be careful the things you say, children will listen.
All of this resonates with me so much. I was a size 6 -8 in highschool in the late 90s. I had a very hour glass figure, and very large breasts (I actually had a reduction when I was 20 for back issues) I was told by a guy I liked that I was too chubby. Girls would ask me "how do you play sports or dance or swim with such big boobs? In front of the entire locker room. Imagine if I asked a girl " how do you do this with sick small boobs"? I was fat shamed by my PE teacher during the annual fitness test (even though I passed it all with no problem) So hard to find clothes that fit my body type, had to have many prom dresses altered. I look back at pictures of myself and can't believe how great I looked, yet I always felt like I was a freak.
You don't think girls were teased for having small/non-existent boobs? I was very skinny unti I hit menopause and would have given my eyeteeth for a set of decent boobs. That arrogant tone other girls would use as if I could actually help it.
Load More Replies...I still remember when that supermodel - who is/was a size 4 was told by her agency she was 'too fat' for modeling... and how insulting it was that they had touched up her photo SO MUCH for an Asian ad campaign that she looked like ... well... she looked like 'anime in real life' - aka: a bobble head. It was ... horrifying (her head was larger than the width of her waist in the doctored ad).
Yep. It was Filippa Hamilton. Here is an article about the ad: https://tinyurl.com/Ralph-Lauren-photoshopped-ad
Load More Replies...I am SO OVER this nonsense. I'd rather be at home with my bird enjoying my life than dealing with this. It's very real. It's impossible to stay 18 and a size minus zero your whole life. Not sorry, I wasn't put on earth to feel bad about myself so that a man can be happy.
Or so that a load of deluded other women can feel smug or sad
Load More Replies...As a guy I think it's crazy that the media even pushes that super skinny look. It's pretty much the general consensus among the guys I talk to that those so called "heavy" girls are much sexier than women with the starving model look. Also, I have a huge crush on Martine McCutcheon from Love Actually and think she's one of the most beautiful women on the planet. How dare anyone shame her for anything. Martine, I'm here for you if you need me haha
I don't remember half of these people being considered fat....maybe it was a regional thing?
Magazines call them fat when they're not, to make their readers - who may be larger - feel better about themselves and buy more magazines.
Load More Replies...And not one of these women pictured are over 30. We need to accept that women age too. In northern Europe, our news Anchors look like real women with faces that move and normal sized lips. Even" love yourself" Oprah, hasn't aged like a normal person, she just can spend the money for great surgeons and blood transfusions from 18 year olds.
False. For example, a quick Google search tells you that some of these were over 30 at the time of the photo. Especially that photo of the Spice Girls!
Load More Replies...Or when lady Gaga did her Super Bowl performance & they called her fat because she had a tiny bit of stomach skin "hanging" over her skin tight shorts that she wore underneath like 3 outfits... so they literally had to be like vacuum sealed on her... but she wasn't even remotely fat. I actually think she looked better than ever! But they compared her to her when she first came out & she was literally anorexic & you could see every rib & bone in her body...... yeah that s**t pissed me the f**k off. Magazine covers were calling her "pudgy" or something like that. The woman was still a size 4 or below. Like... SO SKINNY!
I got down to 89 pounds and still wanted to lose weight. I lost years of my life to anorexia and it permanently effed up my body in multiple ways. And now I'm watching my niece start to do the same thing, and nothing anyone says gets through to her.
Yup NGL it seriously fked with me too. I had body dysmorphia for years and developed a very unhealthy relationship with food. And now I really am overweight I wish I could go back to when i thought I was fat, and was actually cute and shapely!! Nevermind, my husband is my biggest fan and never stops saying how beautiful i am, even if I think he's deluded 😉
I think that women are harder and judge more than men. As a man I have never heard another guy refer to any of the above examples as fat. I do hear it a lot from women and from those stupid magazines. Maybe it is about time we all just stop listening to theses people who seem to want to dictate body type and just be happy with yourself.
Men have always dictated beauty standards for women
Load More Replies...Só, i might be wrong, but i believe that no sane man would ever call any of these women fat, lol, if i had to bet i would say that it where women calling other women fat.
I know what you mean, but there are some deluded male puppies out there, and people in the business
Load More Replies...I struggled with my body image my whole life; I can't even remember what I looked like as a teenager but I do remember thinking I hated my body. I was very tall, I have been over 6-ft tall since I was 15, and quite busty. I have been a Plus size my whole adult life. Funnily enough a few years ago I lost huge amount of weight, which for me was quite drastic; even though I was still considered a plus size to me I was emaciated I could see every single bone on my body: my hip bones stuck out, I had no breasts, no bum and a gap as wide as my first between my thighs. And that was when I realised that I had a problem with how I saw myself, it had nothing to do with my weight. It was never discovered why I lost such a huge amount of weight, I hadn't changed anything in my life. I have chronic illnesses that have nothing to do with my weight but having them has caused me to put on a lot of weight. I'm ok because I love my body now, it's kept me alive and safe.
Go back to Twiggy (1960s) to blame the "you're not thin enough) and retouched photos and and and.... We're none of us safe from the image of what we're "meant" or "not meant" to be, unfortunately.
We're going to Disney World for the first time next month for a longish weekend, and I bought a swimsuit for the first time since I was fifteen. I haven't worn one in 30 years, and I'm roughly the same size I was in high school that I am now. I'm 5'10" and weigh 160 pounds. I've gained ten pounds since high school. I've heard you're a big girl my entire life, and it wasn't until the last couple of months that I thought, "Huh. I am big, but it's not fat." And ya know what, I look pretty darn good for being 45. F**k you, mom, for telling me my entire life you'd be beautiful but---
My dear you are slim, and if you have gained only ten pounds since high school, you are a rarity! You go and have fun!
Load More Replies...I'm 31, 38in shoulders, 29in waist, and 38in hips. I'm 5'2" and weigh 140lbs. Technically overweight, but I have advanced endometriosis and hypothyroid. I've had it stuck in my head ever since Keira Knightley really started to appear (with PotC) that I had to be thin like that to be considered attractive. I had an eating disorder in my senior year of high school where I was eating probably no more than 600 calories in a day, and was down to 110lbs. I'm still stuck in my mind that I have to be small, that I have to be super thin to be attractive. Meanwhile, I have people who balk when I tell them I'm overweight at 140lbs at 5'2". They think I'm joking, but medically, I AM overweight. So, the cycle continues.
You sound like a perfect hourglass. Just make sure you have a comfortable bra, then go out and slay!
Load More Replies...Today, we have the same body type models wearing fat suits to pose as "plus size".
Gonna age myself here. Remember when Sailor Moon came out in the US? Anyone remember the dolls Bandai put out at first? Chunky thighs and an actual waist. In short, they looked like normal teenagers. I loved them; I still have em packed up in storage. ....... Then Irwin (from Canada) rereleased them and they looked like Barbie!!! Ugh.
I remember when Coca Rocha was the toast of the modelling world, until she became a size 4, and then she was fired from a lucrative contract--it went public--but this girl is as thin as a rail and tall AF. There was also an expose about models during fashion week going on IV drips and eating cotton balls so that they wouldn't be hungry. Yup.
Imagine a world where Hollywood and advertisers didn't tell us what's hot and what's not, and we were just free to appreciate what we want. The good news is, it is getting better. I see it in the malls, and on the big screen. More shapes and sizes are represented, and we might even be on our way to learning that one isn't necessarily better than another. People don't have to aspire to look like someone else. We just are, and that's ok. Also shout out to Mel B. and Jackie D. at Read, Watch or DNF. They are awesome, and you should definitely listen to their podcast.
women get more shame for it by far than men, but the depiction of ideal male physique is equally, if not more so unrealistic. especially since height is usually a big factor in it.
At least for the men "Dad Bod" is becoming an affectionate 'thang'. What do we have? MILF? Cougar? Oh hey... even those insulting-to-women-over-25 tropes require women to have ridiculous proportions.
Load More Replies...There are bodyweightlimits that are unhealthy, this I am aware of. Everything in between is just personal busines- and everyone who jugde you by your weight, age, gender etc. without even knowing you may 1.want to make money by your urge to adapt his opinions 2.try to raise his selfesteem by pushing yours down and finally 3.it's an excellent alarmsignal who to avoid, cause they always find a way to judge and are simply not the kind of tribe you should join and listen to ... Look for brilliant women that inspire you and ask yourself, why you admire them- it's probably not caused by some kind of appearance that fits in judgemental frames.
Nowadays I have a more relaxed attitude about what is thin, what is normal and what it overweight. One of the things that helped me to notice I was being fed BS was my local newspaper - every week they had a pictorial where couples could send in a wedding photo with their announcement. None of these women looked like Kate Moss and most of them were quite curvy. They were normal, healthy women. If you want to be sexist about it, as no doubt someone will be, these were the women who were 'getting the men' I have come to believe that the image of women is directed at women and not at men who, according to this anyway, seem less concerned about dress size. Maybe I'm wrong but it's just something I noticed..
Is this a cultural thing? Maybe specific to movie stars and models? I am 176 cm (5'9) and weigh around 60 kg (133 lb) and all my life I have been called skinny.
It could very well be a cultural thing. In the early nineties when I was growing up, a body-type style called heroine chic was popular in the United States and the United Kingdom. It favoured skinny body types with no curves, pale skins, and dark circles or bags under the eyes. Now, the slim-thick figure popularised by the Kardashians is very much in.
Load More Replies...I did a research paper on Marilyn Monroe in college she wore a size 14. The standards change with each director and how f%^k able a girl is that standard is gross, u reasonable and plai. Stupid for a woman to tolerate. Whe. I wore a size 8 I looked like I had been in a concentration camp. Ladies love the skin your in and if the bozos of the world don’t like it suggest we hold them to the same standards
Male here with 5 sisters: It went both ways. As a kid I was told I should look like the pro-athletes on TV or worse, the men from animated shows like X-Men or Batman. I was expected to be smart, funny, tall, dark, hansom, wealthy, well-rounded, and always smarter than all the other boys. Not to mention cis-het. The toxic c**p that was funneled to all of us. I just think that most men my age are still toxic af so they don't realize or speak out about the fact they were brainwashed into being douchebags.
My 90's teenage body hang up was not my weight but how freaking pale I am! All of my friends were tanning. I tried and would either burn or just get more freckles. I tried the spray tan and turned so orange my mom felt bad and let me stay home from school for 2 days until I could get it to fade. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't pursue more tanning I'd probably have skin cancer by now if I did!
Every generation has issues with how mass media made them feel inadequate. I'm genx and used to do a bit of modelling in the 80s. The standards were never healthy. There's no way I was going to mess with my health and turn it into a career though.
Bridget Jones was never fat, that was the point. We were never meant to think she was. It's her own self-image that was fat. The whole series is about flaws. She has a wildly distorted view of herself and also views other people in her life through that lense. Others have flaws, which she is quick to point out, but they are more "successful", so she compares herself to them to find what she is doing wrong. The whole thing of Mark liking her "just the way she is" isn't him accepting she is fat, stupid or awkward. It is him accepting her for the flawed human that she is, while she does the same for him.
So now I'm wondering why this is still a thing. It seems as a society we've been fighting these "ideal bodies" for generations now, fighting what's considered overweight, fighting people who think skin and bones is considered healthy and sexy. We seem to be in the majority. So why has this been pushed down our throats for generations when it seems like it's the less popular way? How did it become something we need to fight when it was hated by many?
I think it's better now. Sure, media can still be toxic as hell, but back then, it was something else.
Apparently woman are still buying into this image to be defending themselves so rabidly. Vote with your wallets -- quit listening to this and quit buying what they sell. Early in my 20s my doctor said I was healthy and strong, so many other women were sacrificing this for a styled image. And I've been healthy ever since . . .
I had an eating disorder but not from any of this. Mine stemmed from a traumatic event. I don't remember most of these girls being called fat though. Maybe 2 or 3.
Gaslighting at its finest. Modern day "fatphobia" is not about shaming normal women. It is about pushing back against the anti-science claim that obesity is a preference that carries no consequences. Big can be beautiful sure, but it most definitely is not healthy. The biggest health issues of our time revolve around cardiovascular disease and diabetes.
Just f*****g start being happy with yourself. If unhappy: do something and dress to your body in the meantime. I felt fat/bad/unhealthy/what have you weighing 75kg, being 1m77. Bought a better bikini and started sporting and eating different to fit in the old ones again.
This never left any marks in my mind. I guess I remember other things about movies and in Bridget Jones and Love Actually, I classified the weight focus as humour. So no harm done to my millenial brain. Also, maybe let's stop calling people thin when they are actually normal.