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People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes

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Many people enjoy boasting about having zero regrets and standing by every decision they’ve ever made. And while dwelling on the past can be harmful, is it really so bad to reflect on our lives and wish we had done just a few things differently?

Redditors over 40 have been opening up about the biggest regrets they have from their youth, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. Whether they wish they had started a skincare routine sooner or feel that they missed out on valuable time with their parents, we appreciate their honesty. Enjoy reading through and reflecting on your own choices, and be sure to upvote the replies that remind you not to make the same mistakes!

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#1

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not asking older family members more questions about our family and forebears while they were still alive.

PeggyNoNotThatOne , cottonbro Report

Final score:

221points

Zephyr343 10 months ago

Yes. And I regret this thinking I had more time. I always wanted them to "tell me their story"

44points

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#2

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Caring too much about what others thought of me.

Asexualhipposloth , taylor_smith Report

Final score:

186points

ILoveMySon 10 months ago

Remember, people don't think about you as much as you believe. Care for yourself first.

48points

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#3

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Thinking I needed a romantic partner to be happy. I stayed in an abusive marriage for so long because I couldn’t imagine doing things alone. It is infinitely better to be alone than in a bad relationship. When I choose to be in a relationship again, it will be because I’m happy and compatible with the person, not because I don’t want to be alone.

anitabelle , nate_dumlao Report

Final score:

169points

Daniela Lavanza 10 months ago

This should be higher. A close friend was in that case: being told by his awful wife he couldn't make it alone, he stayed with far too long. Having a relationship should always imply a GOOD one. If it's not the case, leave and don't look back.

41points

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#4

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not setting firm boundaries with people. Givers have to set limits because takers have no limits.

log899 , priscilladupreez Report

Final score:

165points

AnnaRachelle 10 months ago

I learnt this the hard way

23points

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#5

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not cutting out s****y friendships earlier.

ThrowItOut43 , liza-summer Report

Final score:

142points

Lotekguy 10 months ago

Addition by subtraction can be a glorious life enhancer.

38points

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#6

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not enjoying being single. Looking back my social interactions were centered around finding the one. I should have just enjoyed getting to know people

atx_buffalos , cottonbro Report

Final score:

135points

Jahl 10 months ago

My happiest memories are all of me when I was single. I have some when I was in a committed relationship but they're spoiled by the partner being a jerk. So it's hard to remember. But I have more happy memories when I was single that make me smile now. I wish I had a lot more

24points

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#7

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes I should've started traveling much earlier in life, while i was still young & fit. That & not taking better care of my teeth

thrwawaythrwaway_now , hollymandarich Report

Final score:

134points

Zephyr343 10 months ago

Must be nice to afford to travel more earlier in life

42points

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#8

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not saving money is a big one. The younger you are simple things like a dollar a day, or 10-20 etc in an account that you don’t withdrawal from.

JackSkelllington , liza-summer Report

Final score:

127points

Alexia 10 months ago (edited)

I really wanted to save money, but... the main goal was to overcome poverty :(

69points

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#9

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not cutting myself some goddamn slack. Life isn’t a quest for perfection.

rueselladeville , edmond-dantes Report

Final score:

124points

Ellykay995 10 months ago

When you're older, you realize fast that there is no perfection

24points

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#10

I’m 40 and I regret spending 36 years of my life in the Mormon church.

I wish I would have actually lived my life. I wish I would have had a chance to have a couple of wild years and have fun. Explore my sexuality. Make more diverse friendships. It sounds silly but my biggest one is dressing cute. I am so sad that I wasted my youth wearing knee length shorts and tshirts. I was so young and cute and I wish I could go back and wear a bikini.

I also got married when I was 19. Young marriage is quietly encouraged in the Mormon church. I actually don’t regret that because I adore my husband and we have a fantastic relationship. I do regret making him join the church of course.

Edited to add…it wasn’t about just dressing sexy and showing skin. It’s about being taught that my body wasn’t my own and that it was something dirty that needed to be hidden. My mom altering my prom dress into a matronly monstrosity. It was all the times I was miserable in the summer wearing my magic mormon underwear under my clothes.

anon_opotamus Report

Final score:

121points

TheBlueBitterfly 10 months ago

Never understood religions that made women or men feel ashamed of their bodies. Bodies that supposedly were created by "God" and in his/her/its image. So why the shame? Wouldn't you want to celebrate and honor it? 🤔 "magic Mormon underwear" made me giggle.

74points

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#11

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Seems so cliche but I did not wear enough sunscreen. I used to do the whole lay out with baby oil so I could get a "savage" tan. How stupid. Now my face looks like a topographic map of California. Wear sunscreen kids!

Catalyst886 , mikhail-nilov Report

Final score:

119points

Molly Whuppie 10 months ago

As every Australian is taught practically from birth, Slip Slop Slap. Slip on a shirt, Slop on Sunscreen and Slap on a hat. Even on cloudy days, because it's not the sun that causes skin cancer, it's the UV exposure and that can happen even when it's overcast.

64points

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#12

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not enjoying it more , didn't realize how fast my younger years would pass

mugshade1 , wildlittlethingsphoto Report

Final score:

111points

Linden 10 months ago

I'm happy it has passed, I made a lot of mistakes. Personally I'd choose wisdom over youth any day.

37points

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#13

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Living life on other people’s terms, and not mine. Young people: it’s YOUR life. YOU are entitled to live it the way YOU want. ❤️

trashleybanks , cys_escapes Report

Final score:

110points

Ali H M Salehuddin 10 months ago

Do this in moderation. I think I've seen far too many self-centered persons.

49points

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#14

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Stretching and maintaining muscle mass. When I had kids I stopped both and it took a decade to get that back. Treat your body well. Something happens around 38 and the better shape you are in the better your 40’s and after will feel.

katelynn2380210 , lulusphotography Report

Final score:

108points

Ellykay995 10 months ago

Take care of your health, it is harder to bounce back after 40

22points

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#15

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not appreciating how lovely I was

marvellousmim82 , chemrain Report

Final score:

100points

Brigitte 10 months ago

Alexia and StrangeOne: You two are missing the point here. It's not what other think about you. It's not about catcalling or people telling you, you are pretty/ugly. It's about yourself, your own opinion. People tend to think: I wish I was prettier/thinner/taller... Fast forward 10 years and the same people think: I wish I was as pretty as I was 10 years ago. And the cycle continues. Most of the time we look back but we need to appreciate ourselves now. It's about loving yourself.

41points

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#16

I wish so badly that I'd connected more with my dad... he loved me so deeply and was so proud, followed all of my accomplishments and supported everything I did, always bragged aboutme.

I never ignored him and we hugged and would chat when I'd come home during/soon after college, but I was just always too busy as I grew oldet... then just like that I'm woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call that he's gone.

I'm blessed to have had a father like him, many don't get that, and also blessed to have had him in my first 25 years of life, many don't get that either, but I still miss him terribly and get very sad when holidays come and the whole family celebrates with my wife and 3 kids. He'd have been such a great grandpa because he was such a great dad.

I miss you old man, sorry I never took the time to be closer... I love you always pops.

delta-vs-epsilon Report

Final score:

91points

Sarinz 10 months ago

It looks like this person connected a lot with their father. The tragedy here is that they lost him too early.

23points

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#17

Not realizing people who traumatized me wanted to dull/kill my beautiful shine. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. That wasn’t the case at all.

Hiberniae Report

Final score:

89points

Jill Rhodry 10 months ago

Also, don't carry the shame of what the traumatisers did to you; the shame is theirs not yours.

26points

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#18

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Shoulda worn ear plugs at all of those concerts...

jer123456and7 , quinnanya Report

Final score:

88points

Jahl 10 months ago

Hearing aids are expensive and I mean really expensive. Wear the earplugs

37points

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#19

Not having the confidence to say “f**k this, I want better.”

Leading-Amoeba-4172 Report

Final score:

83points

Javelina Poppers 10 months ago

There's a pill for that now, it's called Fukitol.

41points

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#20

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Worrying so much. In hindsight all that stuff seem so silly now.

Hattkake , enginakyurt Report

Final score:

82points

Mike F 10 months ago

But, it was earthshaking at the time.

28points

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#21

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Smoking for several years! Waste of money and not good for the health

takechances2024 , minhtit96 Report

Final score:

76points

Nerenahd Dhaneren 10 months ago

It's probably the most pointless vice.

14points

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#22

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not learning a musical instrument. I’m trying now but it’s harder at my ancient age.

loves-science , freestocks Report

Final score:

75points

Zephyr343 10 months ago

Could say that about a language too

39points

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#23

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Trusting authority figures and older adults above my own instinct on things.

ifnotmewh0 , kindelmedia Report

Final score:

75points

Alexia 10 months ago (edited)

Wow, this is so me. I should have moved away and cut ties with my toxic, abusive family much earlier. But I listened to relatives, family friends and priests at church, who'd constantly harass me to "get over it, it's your father, he has the right to treat you like s**t and you must respect him no matter what".

20points

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#24

1. Save a bit of money. Yeah, enjoy it, but save some too.
2. Don’t waste time chasing girls. Those that want chasing aren’t worth it.
3. Don’t smoke.
4. Stay close to your friends, don’t drop them.
5. Listen to your parents. Respect them. They won’t be there forever.
6. Be in family pictures. Even if you look like s**t, can be arsed.

Scuttler1979 Report

Final score:

68points

Alexia 10 months ago

5. * applicable only for healthy, normal families. But if your parents are violent, abusive, toxic, then RUN.

52points

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#25

Thinking you won't age. You will and it will hit you fast. Take care of younger self so older self will have a great retirment.

Also, take lots of pics and make sure to have backups.

Final score:

68points

Lavern Defazio 10 months ago

Yes. Before you know it, you make plans around places that have readily available toilets.

23points

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#26

Nothing. I’d do it all again. f**k ups and failures too.

wilmaismyhomegirl83 Report

Final score:

62points

Lavern Defazio 10 months ago

Whats been done has been done.

15points

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#27

The biggest thing for me is not recognizing when it’s time to quit something. Of course there’s something to be said for sticking it out, to a point, but you also have to recognize when a situation is just not right for you and move on. I stayed in certain relationships and jobs for way too long because I was too lazy or too scared to make a change. College, too…. I hate the college I graduated from, and looking back should have transferred after my first year, but was too scared or thought I couldn’t.

paperbasket18 Report

Final score:

62points

Alexia 10 months ago

I feel you. Wish I had known when to quit - people, groups of "friends", jobs. Seconds chances and making up excuses for them never work.

8points

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#28

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Disrespecting my parents when I was a teenager. They really *did* know what they were talking about, I was just too much of a s**thead to see it

b_wald81 , kindelmedia Report

Final score:

61points

TheBlueBitterfly 10 months ago

That's pretty much universal for the teenager/parent relationship.

23points

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#29

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Spending most of my 20s drunk. I don't regret all the fun, because it was great fun. But I could have had that same fun without being so wasted. I kicked it in my early 30s, don't miss it.

SouthTippBass , iam_os Report

Final score:

61points

Yayheterogeneity 10 months ago

Better late than never.

14points

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#30

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not getting the mental health assistance I desperately needed.

I've suffered from anxiety and mild depression since my teen years. In part, it made me a recluse and a social outcast because I felt I was unable to interact properly with people and the world.

Today, on meds, I am a different person. I no longer fear social interactions, and if I was aware of the results back when I was a teen, I likely would have made better decisions for myself.

ZephyrShow , alex-green Report

Final score:

60points

Jenna Kay 10 months ago

I did not get help for my severe depression until I was 44. I woke up every day for more than 30 years trying to think of a reason to keep living; I went to bed every night hoping that maybe the next day would be better. When I started my meds the whole world changed for me. I had no idea that life could be full of every day joys, that your chest could feel light, that you could look forward to things . I advocate to every single person I know who struggles with depression and anxiety to get help and not to wait. I never want anyone to go through what I went through, to feel worthless and heavy, or feel as if the world would be better without you - because it's just not true! we all have a purpose, even if it's just a little one, and we deserve to feel love and respect, joy, and friendship. Be well, my fellow Pandas - don't wait to get help if you need it.

37points

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#31

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Spending too much time worrying about love and not enough time concentrating on happiness.

UsesCommonSense , trinitykubassek Report

Final score:

59points

Jenna Kay 10 months ago

Don't chase the butterfly feeling of love, if you do, you'll never find true happiness. Find those that make you feel confident, wanted, and cared for - those are the people who will be with you forever, and you will cherish forever.

14points

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#32

Wasting time. I threw away so much time. Time wasted doing nothing. Time wasted not being spent with the people that I love. Not paying attention to them and showing them my love. In the end, we don't run out of love, money, breath.... We run out of time.

timechuck Report

Final score:

57points

Ace 10 months ago

Time spent "doing nothing" is not wasted.

27points

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#33

Not learning a second language. Trying to do it now is hard AF!!!

Limegirl15 Report

Final score:

57points

Ace 10 months ago

You really need to find a way of using it, not just learning it. Spend some time in another country, ideally. Only when you're forced to use it do you start developing any real level of competency. (Source: a Brit who's lived in French and German speaking parts of France and Switzerland for the last 20+ years).

22points

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#34

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes **Deferring too readily to the judgment of others.** I had the naive belief that other people had my best interest at heart. Speak up for yourself. Defend your own decisions. No one is out there waiting to make you a star.

Gorf_the_Magnificent , priscilladupreez Report

Final score:

55points

ASOFE 10 months ago

This world is not viable.

3points

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#35

Not voting in anything but presidential elections. I feel like my whole generation got tricked into letting the boomers stay in control because we didn’t understand the importance of local and state level politics. Your vote can make a difference but you have to vote in ALL the elections and you have to have patience because it takes time for people to rise in politics and for policies to get enacted.

coffee_and_physics Report

Final score:

53points

Lavern Defazio 10 months ago (edited)

Vote! From your school board to the major elections. People dont realize how important even the "Minor" elections are.

25points

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#36

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Dating/being friends with losers and feeling responsible for them.

Hollocene13 , s_kawee Report

Final score:

53points

Alexia 10 months ago

Moreover, trying to "save" them. Don't do this. You are not responsible for other adult people's lives.

22points

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#37

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not being careful with my credit. I got my first credit card at 18 and went absolutely crazy. It’s taken me years to climb up to decent credit and even more years to get to excellent credit.

BlackBra81 , karolina-grabowska Report

Final score:

51points

Tams21 10 months ago

This affects many people young people and it's a huge failure of the education system. Children are taught algebra, trigonometry and calculus but not how to manage a bank account, how interest rates work and the risks of credit cards and debt in general.

4points

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#38

Worrying about what other people think.

Final score:

50points

Alexia 10 months ago

This. As my therapist used to say, "other people" don't pay your bills, don't have any right over you, and were not there to support you during your hard times. So why would you care about them?

18points

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#39

Lack of skills in relation to carpentry/electrical/plumbing etc...wish I would have went to vocational school the last couple years of high school

Final score:

50points

TheBlueBitterfly 10 months ago

Never too late to learn a trade skill.

16points

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#40

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not saving for my retirement as soon as I got a job when I was 18, started at 25. I’m 43 now, won’t retire until I’m closer to 70

Trin_42 , eduschadesoares Report

Final score:

44points

UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 10 months ago

Retire?! 🥹😁😅😂🤣🥲😣😖😢😕 They’re right, kids. Start saving now.

21points

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#41

Not buying a property because my mother had a negative opinion about it. I would say make your own mind up, have the strength to follow your instincts. That was 30 years ago and I still feel regret every time I see the property.

Educational_Major226 Report

Final score:

43points

hearditontheX 10 months ago

Hard to ignore parents opinion. Parents need to be supportive even if they have some negative opinions. Especially when you're an adult

8points

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#42

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not investing and not appreciating people who love you.

PermissionCrazy8452 , kampus Report

Final score:

42points

Alexia 10 months ago (edited)

It took me years to realize that the person who genuinely loved me and appreciated me most was my grandmother. She was beaming with pride telling everyone how amazing her granddaughter was. She'd save money from her very small pension to give it to me (knowing that my parents wouldn't give me a penny). She'd knit clothes for me and bring me flowers from her own garden and eggs from her chickens. But at the time I didn't see all these. I was busy trying to please my abusive, toxic parents (who were never satisfied, no matter how hard I tried) :(

8points

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#43

Wish I would have put more money away early, somewhere safe where the money grows and I don't touch.

smorkoid Report

Final score:

42points

Ronald 3 months ago

Today? safety!! BUY Treasury Bonds. 5.4% and : slow and steady wins. RamseySolutions.com I am a baby steps Millionaire.

0points

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#44

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Speaking too quick not listening and thinking more.

Brave_Bluebird5042 , kxvn_lx Report

Final score:

39points

Linda Lee 10 months ago

I won't make snap decisions. I say I'll think about it and let them know.

1point

#45

Too afraid of getting rejected. Even when a girl showed interest it typically had to be overly obvious for me to act.

SyllabubWeak Report

Final score:

38points

censorshipsucks 10 months ago

Me too. The saying goes : You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

11points

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#46

I have to say not being a kinder person and not realizing how important it is to save more

Winston74 Report

Final score:

36points

H. B. Nielsen 10 months ago (edited)

And if you have the luxury of living at home for a discounted rate as some are fortunate enough to do, save x10. You'll likely never get the chance again once that ends. Build that nest egg like your life depends on it and make the sacrifices it takes to get there.

2points

#47

I had about $100,000 to my name when I was 24/25. A guy told me to invest in a new company called Netflix. I went to a Fidelity website
and tried to use $50,000 of what I had, but it was so f*****g confusing I couldn't figure it out and eventually just gave up.

I can't remember the exact price at the time but I remember dividing the amount I wanted to invest in half so it was probably about 2 bucks. I would have had 25,000 shares of Netflix.

F**k.

Final score:

35points

Zephyr343 10 months ago

My biggest regret is not having $100,000 to mess around with at 24

50points

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#48

Saving. I'm 59 now and will have to work til I croak. Why didn't I save all that bday cash.

tass642004 Report

Final score:

35points

Lavern Defazio 10 months ago

Maybe you were having fun?

10points

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#49

People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes Not going harder at everything, thinking I had time.

You dont.

duraace206 , soundtrap Report

Final score:

34points

Linden 10 months ago

You do

13points

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#50

Not coming out when I was in high school

Final score:

32points

Lavern Defazio 10 months ago

Well, this was a dangerous option back then. I came out at 18 to my mom. Thats the only person that it mattered for me to tell. F*** everyone else.

14points

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Adelaide Ross

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Rugilė Žemaitytė

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

What do you think ?

Zophra 10 months ago

I wish I could tell my younger self to get down and question the religion I was brought up in. Really research and think critically. I wasted too much time and money, wrestled with guilt, had stupid logic and opinions, and made naive decisions because of religion.

16points

TrdFrgsn 10 months ago

Live within your means. Not your credit limit.

10points

Scarlett O'Hara's Ghost 10 months ago

You'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did

9points

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Zophra 10 months ago

I wish I could tell my younger self to get down and question the religion I was brought up in. Really research and think critically. I wasted too much time and money, wrestled with guilt, had stupid logic and opinions, and made naive decisions because of religion.

16points

TrdFrgsn 10 months ago

Live within your means. Not your credit limit.

10points

Scarlett O'Hara's Ghost 10 months ago

You'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did

9points

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