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It’s no secret that not everyone is equally excited about the possibility of becoming a parent; that’s why a growing number of people reportedly choose to remain child-free.
To some, that’s not an easy decision to make—even those who want to be child-free might have certain doubts or reasons not to—but others seem to enjoy the benefits of life with no kids, seeing close to no disadvantages of such an arrangement.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit were recently asked to share what their life was like without children. User ‘xtzq11’, also known simply as Benjamin, addressed the child-free married couples in the community and quite a few were willing to describe their child-free experience.
If you’re curious about what they had to say, scroll down to find their stories on the list below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a psychotherapist, consultant, and writer, Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on being child-free.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My wife has a small army of nieces and nephews. So we just rent kids whenever we want one.
junipurrrrr 5 months ago
This is my plan, I have three younger brothers and I don’t know if I want kids or not but I’m sure one of them will end up with at least a kid.
Ace 5 months ago
Given the dual meaning of 'rent' I read this like you were making a good profit out of lending the kids to other people, which seems like a splendid idea.
Scott Rackley 5 months ago
Being the cool, fun uncle is quite alright. I have 4 nephews and 5 nieces. Quite enough children around to spoil and hand back.
B 5 months ago
I read an incredible book (it's a novel, a thriller) called 10:59 by N R Baker and it honestly changed the way I see the world. If anyone is even vaguely uncertain about whether to have kids or not, I absolutely recommend this story - it will make you question why you want children, and whether it's worth having them at all. Check out Amazon and Goodreads for reviews if you're interested.
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 5 months ago
Same! I actually have 3 of them weekdays bow it's their summer holidays. (I'm wfh atm and they are 8 to 12 yo so it's not much of a hassle and my hours are flexible). Literally never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that I'd volunteer to do this...makes such a difference being able to hand them back!!! Love them to bits and spend a lot of time with all my nieces and nephews (I have alot!) It's actually only reaffirmed our decision to bot have kids we love this set up and wouldn't change it for the world.
RELATED:
#2
A lot of people on here have mentioned having access to more materialistic things like more money, travel, house/s etc. but I think it's also important to mention that being child-free gives you time to be selfless towards others in society rather than just inside your own four walls.
There is so much emotional and physical energy available for volunteer work, caring for abandoned members in society, and running and participating in sports and social groups that it really becomes super emotionally fulfilling and the complete opposite of being lonely both for yourself and the people you're spending time with.
#3
We are the age (71m &70f) when most would have grandchildren, would want to be near them, be there for the holidays and birthdays. But instead we are just entering our third year of vagabonding around the world, footloose and fancy free. No responsibilities and no worries. Life has been good from the get-go, but now it’s never been better!
winterwidow87 5 months ago (edited)
I am so grateful for this post. One of the most annoying things i get told as a childless woman who is almost 40 is: "but who will take care of you when you're older?" and it's so annoying. Also, i worked in a nursing home and i can assure you they are full of old people with kids and grandkids. Don't have kids just to have someone who will take care of you when you're older, it's selfish and it's also not a guarantee.
Not all people are equally fascinated by the thought of becoming parents, as they shouldn’t necessarily be; at a certain point in their lives some might realize that being a mom or a dad is simply not for them and decide not to have children of their own.
According to Kaytee Gillis, there are many reasons people decide to be child-free, from personal freedom, career aspirations, and financial stability to concerns about overpopulation or environmental impact, and a desire to focus on personal fulfillment or relationships other than parenthood.
“It's important to note that the decision to be childfree is deeply personal and valid, and individuals should be supported in making choices that align with their values and life goals,” she said in an interview with Bored Panda.
#4
Quiet. We both grew up in loud, toxic households. None of that bs in our house.
Nikki Gross 5 months ago
This!!! I have a huge a*s family so it was NEVER quite around our house because of all of us kids and our friends. I was 12 years old when I finally got my own bedroom and wasn't the family nomad who was shuffled from room to room, wherever there was space for me. I was 15 years old when my last sibling moved out and it left just me and Mom with an entire house to ourselves. Mom always told all of us kids and our friends that "As long as I have a roof over my head, you will have one over yours" so when I turned 18 there was a revolving door of family and friends that would stay here when they needed somewhere to go. Mom was one of those parents that actually missed when we were all kids and thought the house was way to quite. That was just one of the many reasons why we let people come and go whenever they needed a place to stay.
#5
Been married 32 years, visited 110 countries, lived in 7, semi retired with 3 dogs, paid off house and 2 rental properties, I'd say life is good.
“Doubts about being childfree can arise from societal expectations, family pressure, fear of regret later in life, or concerns about loneliness in old age,” the expert continued, pointing out that for many, the cons of remaining child-free include societal stigma, potential loneliness if social circles revolve around parenting, and navigating familial or cultural expectations.
The pros, on the other hand, often involve greater flexibility, more disposable income, and the ability to prioritize personal goals and interests.
#6
It’s pretty freakin awesome. My only reason for not having children is simply a lack of desire. Now that I’m in my 50’s I can honestly say that my current lifestyle is a direct result of not having any. I have far more time, energy and disposable income that I would not have if I’d had children. When I was explaining to the world in my 20’s that I just didn’t want kids, I had no idea that as I aged I would see and appreciate the benefits of being childfree more and more. I didn’t realize until my 40’s that my life was truly affected in a positive way that I can only attribute to no children.
Not a day goes by that I don’t thank my lucky stars I don’t have kids.
I’m truly free.
#7
Quiet when we want. Loud when we want. Late when we want. Early when we want.
Whatever we want, whenever we want, assuming our cats get their scheduled meals.
Edit: we have auto feeders on a schedule, they just want their morning and night little wet food meals.
Thanks for the cake day wishes!
“Some individuals find it difficult to understand people’s decision to be childfree due to deeply ingrained cultural norms that equate parenthood with fulfillment and success. There may also be misconceptions about the reasons behind the decision, such as assuming childfree individuals are selfish or lacking nurturing qualities,” Gillis added.
#9
Well, I'm not arguing with anyone to brush their teeth or do homework. There has not been a single tear shed today. Definitely not a single scream. My white couch is looking immaculate, I'm researching snorkeling tours for our next vacation and I had a bagel for dinner, because why not?
Although I do have to say, one of the dogs threw up. It's really ruined the whole day.
featherytoad 5 months ago
If your dog throwing up ruined your whole day, can you imagine having kids?
#10
Sometimes I just feel really unfulfilled, like I haven't done anything worthwhile with my life.
Lol jk it's the best, I can do anything I set my mind to because I don't have to spend all of my time, energy, and money on anything I don't want.
#11
Life is life. There are good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. But I imagine there is a lot less stress in our days than there would have been if we had children. We don’t regret, don’t feel like we’re missing out, 8 years in we still don’t want kids. Life is just life.
According to Kaytee Gillis, the number of people openly discussing and choosing to be childfree has seemingly been on the rise over the recent years. “This could be attributed to greater societal acceptance of diverse life choices, increased awareness of alternative lifestyles through media and social platforms, and a growing understanding of the challenges and responsibilities of parenthood,” she said.
“In the past, young people—especially women—were unable to make this decision for fear of ridicule and even social ostracization. Today, many are able to make this decision. It may look like more people are making this decision now, but I believe many of our grandparents or those who lived earlier wanted to make this decision but were unable.”
#12
It is wonderful. I can sleep and nap when I want, I don't need to cut back on my hobbies, I can sleep and nap when I want, all of our extra money goes towards fun and savings, AND, I can sleep and nap when I want.
#13
Amazing…we have Aunty and Uncle Boot Camp where once they turn 18 they come over. We teach them all about personal finance, teach them how to run an equitable house and some relationship advice. We have College Nights where we order pizza apply for scholarships or jobs. The week between Christmas and NYE we have an open house where the kiddos can come and go. Parents usually need a break. Me and Hubby travel, save and do tons of day trips.
#14
As an unwed, childless woman - I am so grateful for my choices. Posting now at 01:49 Thursday morning whilst watching whatever I chose. I spent 2 hours today w 2 friends and both of their 2 year olds and it just reaffirmed my choice. Hearing them complain about their S/Os as well… hard pass to all of that. Y’all can do it.
AisForRebel 5 months ago
The hardest thing about not having kids is finding a partner who doesn't already have three of them at my age (39)
#15
Well unfortunately the big thing holding us back right now is that we can barely afford to house and feed ourselves. Everyone says "no one can REALLY afford kids" to which I say "okay but if we had kids right now we would starve and die."
So...not great.
iseefractals 5 months ago
This is the mentality that everyone should take. Having children isn't a "right" it's a privilege, and it should be predicated on actually being able to provide a decent life for said child. Baseline cost of raising a child in the U.S to the age of 17, is $320,000, almost $19,000 a year...and you won't just "figure it out" if you "jump in with both feet" because "you're never REALLY ready!" If you want children and can't afford to do so, it absolutely sucks....but becoming a parent isn't about "you" it's about the child. It's depressing how few people actually understand that.
#16
Well, my husband decided that cheating on me was a good idea. And now wants an open relationship. So… can just say I’m glad we didn’t have kids. That would be a much messier divorce.
#17
My sister is 42 and her partner is 46, neither have kids. They've retired, moved to Thailand and are enjoying life. This has inspired me to not have kids.
#18
Sometimes we get up at sunrise to go surf and eat breakfast on the beach. Sometimes we stay in bed till the last minute before work. Everyday is mainly doing what we feel like doing which creates a very happy life.
#19
Just got back from a 3 week trip to Europe. And went to Peru for thanksgiving last year.
All for about *half* of what my best friend spent on childcare last year.
#20
I honestly feel guilty sometimes about how great our life is. Because I know it’s better than anyone else I’ve met. Then again, we both worked our asses off to cultivate this life together.
Been married 23 years, met online (mIRC) as teenagers back in 1999. Connected on art, video games, politics, music, introversion, and the strong desire to never have children or pets.
All these years later, it’s amazing. We both quit our jobs in 2009 to focus on our own businesses. Mine did well enough for her to “retire” in 2016. In reality, she helps me with taxes, paperwork, maintaining the house, among many other things, keeping me sane.
We live in a beautiful house, in a quiet, wooded neighborhood. We recently fell head over heels in love with pinball together and have spent a ridiculous amount of time and money on our collection/hobby.
We’re both introverts/homebodies. Unlike a lot of people here, we kinda hate traveling. So we spend our time building up our wonderful nest at home together, with tons of room for high end gaming rigs, workout areas, massive bedroom, all kinds of ridiculous smart home s**t, like voice activated curtains and bidets, 2 kitchens, and we just had a conversation if it’s too decadent to get a 2nd mini fridge for our condiment collection. We have loud parties for just the two of us at least once a week, screaming our heads off, singing karaoke, being idiots.
That’s the joy of being able to spend time with your partner, instead of time and money on something neither of you want. We are closer and more in love than we were as teenagers, dating long distances, across borders, and not seeing each other for months at a time.
I’m sure some people absolutely love being parents, and tell you how much you’ll regret it later in life if you don’t. Yeah, not us. Not a single minute has gone by in our 25 year relationship where we even slightly considered, or regretted having kids or pets.
She just leaned over in bed (sleeping in on a work day cause we work from home) and asked what I was reading. I said, it’s a thread asking “Married couples that decided NO on kids, what’s your life like?” She laughed very heartily and said “Awesome”.
She also had an interested observation on the question posed here:
*“Deciding NO on kids doesn’t make sense. You don’t decide NOT to have kids. You decide TO have kids. It’s a telling skew on the question, reflective of an inherent bias in society, and indicative of the mindless lack of intentionality when it comes to the responsibility of dedicating 20+ years to bringing a new life into this world.”*
I agree. Smart woman. Glad I don’t have any noisy a*s kids or dogs to distract me from listening to her.
winterwidow87 5 months ago
She's very smart indeed. Having kids should be a conscious choice, not a mindless act you do just because everyone does it.
#22
I can't have kids. Some people just can't. But I love kids, and try to stay active in my niece and nephews lives. I teach kids during volunteer stuff. And I love tweens and teens especially they're loads of fun and curious and learning all the time.
Life is easier without kids. I do things differently than my sister's do for sure. But I also think people who avoid kids entirely are missing out. There are lots of kids who could use a caring adult in their lives. I can't imagine my life without Any kids involved. I just didn't birth them myself. But I still love them and care about them.
Zedrapazia 5 months ago
That's an individual choice. I'll happily keep avoiding children because the loud noises babies and toddlers make terrify me like chalk on a blackboard, and I don't enjoy being around older kids either. Not even when I was one myself. I'm better off being far away from them, not missing out on anything
#23
My wife (48f) and I (53m) absolutely love it. All of our siblings have kids and they all are their own version of miserable and broke.
We haven’t regretted our decision for a second.
#24
I'd say life is pretty f*****g good. I'm retiring in 5-8 years, which is almost 2 decades ahead of most of my peers.
#25
The overwhelming positivity seems really dishonest or maybe this just happened to draw in a lot of highly privileged upper class folks?
I am in my mid-30s and realistically will probably never have kids because it takes all of my energy just to live and function in the U.S. It never felt like a choice, it feels like survival. And with my genetics, I could end up raising a child with significant needs that I am not equipped to meet because I need a lot of support myself. My parents needed support too and didn’t get it, which made growing up being raised by them awful.
It feels like everyone in my life is struggling regardless of whether they have kids or not. What is important to me is family, biological and chosen, and being there for each other. The thought of family dwindling down to nothing and the fracturing of families and communities is terrifying. We need each other.
winterwidow87 5 months ago
I am sorry for your struggles. Sometimes not having kids is a free choice (that's where the positivity of the other posts comes from), and sometimes it's an obligated one like in this case, which can feel frustrating.
#26
DINKWP here. Its JOYUS! Have the pets. They are spoiled rotten and eat like royality. We dont travel much but we go on lots of dates and cook fabulous meals at home. We love to experiment with new recipes and dont have to worry about “if the kids will eat it”.
agermanhome 5 months ago
Most parents I know cook whatever they like. In my case, if the kids don´t want it (which very rarely happens), they can take an apple and wait for the next meal.
#27
It’s wonderful. We travel whenever we want, we have time to spend together and time spent doing other things that interest each other. Money is easier. We rarely argue. We don’t resent each other as I see in so many of my friends marriages. We are well rested and enjoy our lives. Chef recommends.
#28
Just back from a trip to Europe last month. We’re having our bathroom remodeled now that we’re home. We’re both contributing the max to retirement accounts, easy peasy. We literally never fight about money or chores.
At the moment, the dog and cat are sleeping on the sofa next to us while my wife studies for a local community college course she’s taking for fun and I watch cooking YouTube.
#29
Well I just picked up my husbands wet towel off the bed, yet again, so I still feel like I have a child sometimes despite not giving birth to any.
Little Wonder 5 months ago
Yep, I'm caring for my elderly parents so my life is a lot more Parenty than expected.
#30
…About to install gorgeous off-white wool carpet in the bedrooms without a care in the world. Also flying across the world next week on three days notice for work/fun. That pretty much sums it up!
What do you think ?
Mia Black 5 months ago
As a ten-year-old, I already told my class that I didn't want any children and if I did, I wanted to adopt because too many of them didn't have good homes. Today, I hardly have any time, energy or money for myself and I feel constantly stressed. Even if I wanted children, this wouldn't be the right environment. I am also a person full of worries, fears and a guilty conscience for things that I can't do anything about - so I absolutely couldn't bear to bring a being into the world, the world that is being destroyed ever faster by us humans. That is not a future that I would want to burden anyone with. I can only bear it myself with lots of distractions. I feel sorry for all the young generations and those that follow. I had trees planted for my nieces but I fear I won't be able to do much more for their future (and vote well in the hope that politicians do something useful and good)
Sky Render 5 months ago (edited)
My wife and I have opted to never have kids (easy enough, one of us is absolutely sterile and the other probably shouldn't be trying childbirth; also lesbians) and never adopt either. The income situation is nice (both of us working means we can actually live pretty comfortably), we can engage in our collection hobbies without fear of anything happening to them due to a curious child messing with them, and it's very easy to plan get-togethers with our friends or spur-of-the-moment day trips on our mutual off day. It's nice.
Sarah Forrest 5 months ago
1. I just don't get kids, I have very low tolerance for kid when they act out. I've seen people struggle to mange their kids. 2. After a long day with the type of work I do, I need some alone time, not talking to anyone. I can't imagine having to stay on when I get home from work. 3. I'm scared of getting pregnant and giving birth. Overall, your body changes, having to shove a baby out or cut your stomach open. Something growing inside you. I get very distracted by the idea. 4. I do not want the financial burden of a child, I'm still living at my parents. 5. Overall, kids are cute sometimes and can be fun. But when I watch the kid act out and parents fight them just reminds me why
Weasel Wise 5 months ago (edited)
It's not a comparison, it's people who chose to not breed sharing the joys in their lives that came as a result of that decision. All day, every day, parents share their joys of being parents, how they love spending their time with them, etc etc etc. and I think the vast majority of people are happy that those moms and dads are so happy with their families. It's the same sorta situation but, this time, it's the minority sharing their joys of their decisions; why is it a comparison, seemingly an insult to you, that other people have found happiness doing something most people don't do? Why not just be happy that people are happy?
Load More Replies... Amelia Jade 5 months ago
I'm gonna start off by saying I don't think anyone should be pressured to have kids. And I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. Have them if you want, don't have them if you don't want them. I don't care either way. But this idea that parents don't have the ability to travel, or pursue hobbies is just ridiculous. We've traveled to several countries, have lived in a few, and have been all over the US. We're avid hikers and love road tripping. The kids never slowed us down one bit. We also paid off our home, and are debt free. We can travel, we do okay on money, sleep is not an issue if you know what you're doing (and don't have a colicky baby--which I'm grateful I did not), and I never have, and never will want a white interior. People have this idea that if you have kids you're giving up everything. And this simply isn't true. Maybe for some people. It wasn't for us. We just folded them into our existing lives and kept moving forward.
Amelia Jade 5 months ago
Having said that--being a parent does bring a whole lot of worry that wouldn't exist otherwise. I worry about my kids on a near constant basis and that can be exhausting. And it doesn't stop. You worry when they're infants, and then you graduate to a new set of worries when they're toddlers, and then a new set when they're school age, and then teens. My youngest is 17 so I have two adult children--still worry. I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I do sometimes wonder what it is like to not have that constant worry.
Load More Replies... Pandroid Rebellion 5 months ago
I'm a little different. My mom went blind. I have very specific issues that would require bed rest and extensive care to attempt to bring a fetus to term. So I had to choose between putting her in a facility or having children. I chose my mom. I do not regret it and get REALLY mad when people say that not having children is "selfish." She was here first and I was not about to act like she became disposable because she needs care. Honestly, most of my friends envy ME because my mom is super sweet and funny. She was a nurse for 50 years. She deserved societal loyalty. So I gave it to her. The kids of today and the systems for caring for them seem awful. I am overjoyed I did not participate. But I wish my mom could see. I will be 50 in 10 days. I look 40.
Jack Burton 5 months ago
I have two daughters and i love them with all my heart. But i would never judge anyone telling me they don't want kids. That's the most life changing experience i have ever had. Everything changes and for many many years.
Piglet 5 months ago
The opening text mentions 'child-free' 4 times, yet BP chooses to use 'childless' in the title. *sigh*
Weasel Wise 5 months ago
Synonyms. Let's not get our feelings hurt over a synonym.
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Banana Power 5 months ago
I've never wanted kids. "Maybe you'll change your mind when you get older?" I'm only 18, and still definitely a hard nope. I don't want to responsibilities and hardships and stress of having kids. I don't want my sole purpose for existing just to be to make children and care for them. I want to live my own life as I want and explore all the possibilities without being held back. And if I wanted kids for some reason, I would adopt. Kids shouldn't be abandoned because some people are too careless to deal with a mistake they made. Plus pregnancy sounds like hell.
Iga Błażejewska 5 months ago
Being child-free became so normal nowadays. I'm 27 and NONE of my friends have or plan on having kids. I don't have any yet, but if feels kind of sad that it became so common and that the post includes not a single opposite voice.
Rodney McKay 5 months ago
For men, a vasectomy is the one get-rich-quick scheme that actually works.
Jessica SpeLangm 5 months ago
We (my husband and I) aren't really child free by choice. It just never happened for us. I think we would have made good parents, although very stressed parents. I am really upset that my parents don't have any grandchildren. (My sister miscarried and never had another pregnancy). So, my maiden name's family kind of dies with me. That's upsetting, but I don't really have any other choice but to adopt and I've gotten to the age where I don't have the patience for children (regardless of age).
Weasel Wise 5 months ago (edited)
D.I.N.K here, hanging out in Ecuador ending a three week road trip of the country (my 40th country in 15 years) after having spent two weeks in Hawaii (a promised graduation present to my 18yo nephew for graduating)....heading home in a few days to our quiet, beautiful home by the ocean, to a job that can't wait for me to return.
️ ️~ lefty libra️ ~ 5 months ago
see, id love to have kids, because they are ultimate combination of you and your loved one. but at the same time, all the energy, money, mess? i dont know if id have patience, but at the same time, id love to help them, watch them grow, and hopefully have a loving, caring husband who'd equally do as much work to help. but knowing thats not how life works, its scary. id never want my kids to experience what i am, deciding which parents house to go to, which ones to stay at. advice? i know i have time, but i want as much information to help the decision?
My O My 5 months ago
I'd give the advice to only have children when you have a partner that you love and trust no matter what. And only when both of you are on board of this
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Cee Cee 4 months ago
I did want kids at one stage. Looked around and saw the state of the world political and environmental. Felt I couldn't impose that on a child. Now 72 and so glad I made that decision. I have the dachshunds, cats and motorbikes. Getting a camper van soon. My pets like car rides and all are microchipped and vaccinated. They enjoy day trips already so a longer trip shouldn't be a problem.
C. S. 5 months ago
Knew I didn't want to be a father since I was around 14, and didn't marry until I was in my 50s. The single, most-arrogant and stupid thing people would automatically respond with when asked whether I was looking forward to becoming a father, was "Oh, you'll change your mind." I was around 16 when I began to hit back at those arrogantly-stupid morons, and steadfast by the time I was 18. Don't you DARE assume I'll want what you want, was my ready chant to them. It finally sunk into their minds by the time I turned 30 or so.
Bagika 5 months ago
I'm currently in college and volunteer at soup kitchens and blanket runs. I have my eyes on a few kids I want to take in once I start working. They're absolutely brilliant and were just handed bad cards and even worse parents. I was lucky enough to meet a mentor who's just as idealistic as me and is helping me make a plan for when I can adopt and enroll them for school assessments and possibly scholarships (proper artists and astronauts in that bunch). They don't all take too kindly to me but my arms are always open to them, I'm just rather focused on the ones that are practically glued to my leg every weekend.
John Mausen 5 months ago
Luke 6; 24 “But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. 25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. 26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.
me myself and i (she/her) 5 months ago
Tbh, I’m terrified at the thought of having a kid in the future (I’m fourteen). There’s a good chance I’m moving to the states to go to college and the stuff I hear about medical expenses is terrible and idk if I will ever be responsible enough to raise a child. Maybe I’ll change my mind in the future, but I think I probably won’t
clairebear 5 months ago
Don't let people change your mind for you. Parents put a lot of pressure on their kids to produce grandchildren. You live your life your way. And don't even think about it until you are at least 25 because right now, you have no idea who you are. Trust me.
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Aaaa Bbbb 5 months ago
No one mentioned the best part-- a clean conscience! As a child free person, I can say with certainty that no child of mine will ever be a criminal or a victim. No child of mine will ever have a painful disease or a humiliating failure. None of my offspring will ever start a war or trigger an environmental catastrophe. In short, I can be confident that I haven't added much to the suffering in this world.
Mia Black 5 months ago
Jupp. I would feel so much conscience stricken (had to look up the words) towards any kid because I may not be able to give them what they need and the world is shattered and not becoming better for humans anytime soon. Also I would feel this struggled if my offspring would cause more harm to anything. I barely can stand the harm I do to the world just because I am and consume....
Load More Replies... Mia Black 5 months ago
As a ten-year-old, I already told my class that I didn't want any children and if I did, I wanted to adopt because too many of them didn't have good homes. Today, I hardly have any time, energy or money for myself and I feel constantly stressed. Even if I wanted children, this wouldn't be the right environment. I am also a person full of worries, fears and a guilty conscience for things that I can't do anything about - so I absolutely couldn't bear to bring a being into the world, the world that is being destroyed ever faster by us humans. That is not a future that I would want to burden anyone with. I can only bear it myself with lots of distractions. I feel sorry for all the young generations and those that follow. I had trees planted for my nieces but I fear I won't be able to do much more for their future (and vote well in the hope that politicians do something useful and good)
Sky Render 5 months ago (edited)
My wife and I have opted to never have kids (easy enough, one of us is absolutely sterile and the other probably shouldn't be trying childbirth; also lesbians) and never adopt either. The income situation is nice (both of us working means we can actually live pretty comfortably), we can engage in our collection hobbies without fear of anything happening to them due to a curious child messing with them, and it's very easy to plan get-togethers with our friends or spur-of-the-moment day trips on our mutual off day. It's nice.
Sarah Forrest 5 months ago
1. I just don't get kids, I have very low tolerance for kid when they act out. I've seen people struggle to mange their kids. 2. After a long day with the type of work I do, I need some alone time, not talking to anyone. I can't imagine having to stay on when I get home from work. 3. I'm scared of getting pregnant and giving birth. Overall, your body changes, having to shove a baby out or cut your stomach open. Something growing inside you. I get very distracted by the idea. 4. I do not want the financial burden of a child, I'm still living at my parents. 5. Overall, kids are cute sometimes and can be fun. But when I watch the kid act out and parents fight them just reminds me why
Weasel Wise 5 months ago (edited)
It's not a comparison, it's people who chose to not breed sharing the joys in their lives that came as a result of that decision. All day, every day, parents share their joys of being parents, how they love spending their time with them, etc etc etc. and I think the vast majority of people are happy that those moms and dads are so happy with their families. It's the same sorta situation but, this time, it's the minority sharing their joys of their decisions; why is it a comparison, seemingly an insult to you, that other people have found happiness doing something most people don't do? Why not just be happy that people are happy?
Load More Replies... Amelia Jade 5 months ago
I'm gonna start off by saying I don't think anyone should be pressured to have kids. And I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. Have them if you want, don't have them if you don't want them. I don't care either way. But this idea that parents don't have the ability to travel, or pursue hobbies is just ridiculous. We've traveled to several countries, have lived in a few, and have been all over the US. We're avid hikers and love road tripping. The kids never slowed us down one bit. We also paid off our home, and are debt free. We can travel, we do okay on money, sleep is not an issue if you know what you're doing (and don't have a colicky baby--which I'm grateful I did not), and I never have, and never will want a white interior. People have this idea that if you have kids you're giving up everything. And this simply isn't true. Maybe for some people. It wasn't for us. We just folded them into our existing lives and kept moving forward.
Amelia Jade 5 months ago
Having said that--being a parent does bring a whole lot of worry that wouldn't exist otherwise. I worry about my kids on a near constant basis and that can be exhausting. And it doesn't stop. You worry when they're infants, and then you graduate to a new set of worries when they're toddlers, and then a new set when they're school age, and then teens. My youngest is 17 so I have two adult children--still worry. I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I do sometimes wonder what it is like to not have that constant worry.
Load More Replies... Pandroid Rebellion 5 months ago
I'm a little different. My mom went blind. I have very specific issues that would require bed rest and extensive care to attempt to bring a fetus to term. So I had to choose between putting her in a facility or having children. I chose my mom. I do not regret it and get REALLY mad when people say that not having children is "selfish." She was here first and I was not about to act like she became disposable because she needs care. Honestly, most of my friends envy ME because my mom is super sweet and funny. She was a nurse for 50 years. She deserved societal loyalty. So I gave it to her. The kids of today and the systems for caring for them seem awful. I am overjoyed I did not participate. But I wish my mom could see. I will be 50 in 10 days. I look 40.
Jack Burton 5 months ago
I have two daughters and i love them with all my heart. But i would never judge anyone telling me they don't want kids. That's the most life changing experience i have ever had. Everything changes and for many many years.
Piglet 5 months ago
The opening text mentions 'child-free' 4 times, yet BP chooses to use 'childless' in the title. *sigh*
Weasel Wise 5 months ago
Synonyms. Let's not get our feelings hurt over a synonym.
Load More Replies... Banana Power 5 months ago
I've never wanted kids. "Maybe you'll change your mind when you get older?" I'm only 18, and still definitely a hard nope. I don't want to responsibilities and hardships and stress of having kids. I don't want my sole purpose for existing just to be to make children and care for them. I want to live my own life as I want and explore all the possibilities without being held back. And if I wanted kids for some reason, I would adopt. Kids shouldn't be abandoned because some people are too careless to deal with a mistake they made. Plus pregnancy sounds like hell.
Iga Błażejewska 5 months ago
Being child-free became so normal nowadays. I'm 27 and NONE of my friends have or plan on having kids. I don't have any yet, but if feels kind of sad that it became so common and that the post includes not a single opposite voice.
Rodney McKay 5 months ago
For men, a vasectomy is the one get-rich-quick scheme that actually works.
Jessica SpeLangm 5 months ago
We (my husband and I) aren't really child free by choice. It just never happened for us. I think we would have made good parents, although very stressed parents. I am really upset that my parents don't have any grandchildren. (My sister miscarried and never had another pregnancy). So, my maiden name's family kind of dies with me. That's upsetting, but I don't really have any other choice but to adopt and I've gotten to the age where I don't have the patience for children (regardless of age).
Weasel Wise 5 months ago (edited)
D.I.N.K here, hanging out in Ecuador ending a three week road trip of the country (my 40th country in 15 years) after having spent two weeks in Hawaii (a promised graduation present to my 18yo nephew for graduating)....heading home in a few days to our quiet, beautiful home by the ocean, to a job that can't wait for me to return.
️ ️~ lefty libra️ ~ 5 months ago
see, id love to have kids, because they are ultimate combination of you and your loved one. but at the same time, all the energy, money, mess? i dont know if id have patience, but at the same time, id love to help them, watch them grow, and hopefully have a loving, caring husband who'd equally do as much work to help. but knowing thats not how life works, its scary. id never want my kids to experience what i am, deciding which parents house to go to, which ones to stay at. advice? i know i have time, but i want as much information to help the decision?
My O My 5 months ago
I'd give the advice to only have children when you have a partner that you love and trust no matter what. And only when both of you are on board of this
Load More Replies... Cee Cee 4 months ago
I did want kids at one stage. Looked around and saw the state of the world political and environmental. Felt I couldn't impose that on a child. Now 72 and so glad I made that decision. I have the dachshunds, cats and motorbikes. Getting a camper van soon. My pets like car rides and all are microchipped and vaccinated. They enjoy day trips already so a longer trip shouldn't be a problem.
C. S. 5 months ago
Knew I didn't want to be a father since I was around 14, and didn't marry until I was in my 50s. The single, most-arrogant and stupid thing people would automatically respond with when asked whether I was looking forward to becoming a father, was "Oh, you'll change your mind." I was around 16 when I began to hit back at those arrogantly-stupid morons, and steadfast by the time I was 18. Don't you DARE assume I'll want what you want, was my ready chant to them. It finally sunk into their minds by the time I turned 30 or so.
Bagika 5 months ago
I'm currently in college and volunteer at soup kitchens and blanket runs. I have my eyes on a few kids I want to take in once I start working. They're absolutely brilliant and were just handed bad cards and even worse parents. I was lucky enough to meet a mentor who's just as idealistic as me and is helping me make a plan for when I can adopt and enroll them for school assessments and possibly scholarships (proper artists and astronauts in that bunch). They don't all take too kindly to me but my arms are always open to them, I'm just rather focused on the ones that are practically glued to my leg every weekend.
John Mausen 5 months ago
Luke 6; 24 “But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. 25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. 26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.
me myself and i (she/her) 5 months ago
Tbh, I’m terrified at the thought of having a kid in the future (I’m fourteen). There’s a good chance I’m moving to the states to go to college and the stuff I hear about medical expenses is terrible and idk if I will ever be responsible enough to raise a child. Maybe I’ll change my mind in the future, but I think I probably won’t
clairebear 5 months ago
Don't let people change your mind for you. Parents put a lot of pressure on their kids to produce grandchildren. You live your life your way. And don't even think about it until you are at least 25 because right now, you have no idea who you are. Trust me.
Load More Replies... Aaaa Bbbb 5 months ago
No one mentioned the best part-- a clean conscience! As a child free person, I can say with certainty that no child of mine will ever be a criminal or a victim. No child of mine will ever have a painful disease or a humiliating failure. None of my offspring will ever start a war or trigger an environmental catastrophe. In short, I can be confident that I haven't added much to the suffering in this world.
Mia Black 5 months ago
Jupp. I would feel so much conscience stricken (had to look up the words) towards any kid because I may not be able to give them what they need and the world is shattered and not becoming better for humans anytime soon. Also I would feel this struggled if my offspring would cause more harm to anything. I barely can stand the harm I do to the world just because I am and consume....
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