You would be surprised how many people type in Mark Twain quotes in their Google search bar. The guy is still relevant, and his thoughts written over 100 years ago still strike a chord with many people today. Born in 1835, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by his pseudonym of Mark Twain, remains one of the greatest novelists and humorists that America has ever produced. To this day, quotes by Mark Twain are repeated from memory by many worldwide. However, the author's intelligent quotes are far from the only thing he left behind. Nowadays praised as a civil rights activist, Twain has left a worldwide legacy that has continued since his death over 100 years ago.
Not only has Twain inspired the American literary canon, but he also influenced American culture, and the writer's quotes remain practical to this day. His written works challenged and brought to light the issues America faced in the nineteenth century, such as imperialism, racism, class barriers, access to education, and much more. Two of his perhaps best-known works, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, indirectly addressed the many problems of American culture. These novels are where many of Twain's popular quotes are derived from.
Twain was a brilliant person who had a curious mind and soul of a wanderer and traveled a lot throughout his life. Some folks even regard him as one of the greatest geniuses of all time. After all, there are not that many powerful quotes by famous people that seemingly make it to every other presentation or a public speech. Well, the quotes from Mark Twain do. Want to deliver a killer speech? Or get your creative juices flowing and activate 100 percent of your brain power? We've got you.
This post may include affiliate links.
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
As long as it's a first class ticket...I know who's gonna be there with me
"There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress."
"Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about."
"When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."
When Twain was alive there was a lot of prejudice against the Irish immigrants.
"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
I thought that was Abe Lincoln "It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt"
"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."
"Buy land, they're not making it anymore."
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
"Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others."
I remember this quote being told to me and it pushed me some in elementary.
"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Funny how if I should read the symptoms of some rare condition, I suddenly develop them all.
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
"Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired."
"Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it."
"Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
"Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel."
"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little."
"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved."
"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we."
To be fair we're a whole ecosystem, inside of us cells and bacteria live their own life unaware of the fact that their world is a living being.
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
"Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one."
I'll have to remember that for next time a religious person insists atheists can't be good moral people.
"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
"Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied."
"India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire."
"Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all."
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."
"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts."
"When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people."
"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."
"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
"In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours."
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."
"Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms."
"Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."
"As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake."
"Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation."
"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
"If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later."
"Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms."
"The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this."
"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run."
"Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish."
"The human race is a race of cowards, and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner."
"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin."
"It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
"Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning."
"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."
"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
"When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself."
"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."
"Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so."
"Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written."
"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation."
"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
"A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape."
"What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real-life is led in his head and is known to none but himself."
"It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races."
"It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome, but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it."
"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."
"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts."