Despite living in an era with the highest availability of medical knowledge and information, some people are still horribly grossed out by normal, human bodily functions. Ignorance isn’t malice, but it can cloud someone’s judgment so much that they end up hurting others.

A netizen wanted to know if she was in the wrong for leaving her brother-in-law’s house after he banned her from his hot tub and blew up over some sheets that needed to be cleaned. Why? She happened to be on her period during that particular day. Most commenters were surprised that an adult man had such a visceral reaction to a pretty common, natural process.

Sharing a body of water with another person can be difficult for germaphobes or clean-freaks

Image credits: BGStock72 (not the actual photo)

A woman detailed a time her BIL banned her from his hot tub for being on her period that day

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Natracare (not the actual photo)

She gave some additional information as readers had a lot of questions

Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Dawn_In_Danger

Many men remain woefully ignorant about half the population for no good reason

Unfortunately, the brother-in-law is not alone in being ignorant and childish about a woman’s period. A 2015 study found that many college-educated men who live with a female partner are still quite ignorant about periods, why they happen, and their effects. Many of the male study respondents referred to periods as “that time of the month,” indicating at the very least a lack of experience. More likely, similar to the BIL in the story, they believed the whole topic to be taboo. As a result, like the BIL, they had set preconceptions and were also not open to learning more. In most cases, male respondents only saw it through the lens of how it affected them, i.e. their partner was perceived to be more volatile or “dirty,” though none could actually identify how she was unclean.

While we do live in a world with an abundance of information, social trends move very slowly. The most effective way to normalize periods for a boy or a man is to build acceptance at a childhood and family level. Unfortunately, it’s still a somewhat taboo topic and not one that was easy to talk about for most people. Research on this topic reveals that older people feel cagy about sharing their knowledge and experience regarding women’s hygiene, creating a cycle of adults who have the most simplistic understanding of half the population’s biology.

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Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Often, ignorance is overtaken by childish preconceptions and taboos

While ignorance is one thing, the fear many men have about periods borders on the edge of paranoia. Like Voldemort, aka He who must not be named, many men refer to a period as the aforementioned “time of the month,” or, even worse, “her thing.” Why they express so much latent fear over 5 to 80 mls of blood is beyond me. This has a spillover effect where women rarely hear men speak about menstruation at all, often creating an idea that it should never be mentioned, perpetuating the cycle. But the good news is that younger people, particularly pre-teens, are using the terms period and menstruation more openly, perhaps signifying a shift in perceptions.

So to bury the BIL’s ignorance once and for all, here is the science. If she is using a tampon or menstrual cup, she can be in the water with almost no leakage. Some specialists suggest a high-absorbency tampon for longer periods in the water, but the bottom line is that the BIL had nothing to worry about except his own ignorance. Yes, there are some minor risks, but, pardon the pun, they don’t hold much water. If he was terrified of bodily fluids, then the risk was similar for all family members. While impossible to see directly into his brain, it does seem like he let his prejudices get in the way of enjoying some time with his family.

Image credits: Hora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)

Many supported her, citing the BIL’s outdated and somewhat childish beliefs

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A few readers settled on YTA or ESH, but were generally downvoted

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