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Grieving Man Used Experimental AI Site To ‘Chat’ With His Fiancée Nine Years After She Passed
We think most of us have watched or at least heard about the TV show called Black Mirror. Well, what would we say if one of the episodes of the said fictional show became a reality? Surely, most people would scoff at the idea, but a certain man from Canada has a story reminiscent of an episode of the show.
A grieving Canadian named Joshua Barbeau lost his fiancée Jessica 9 years ago due to rare liver disease. Last year, just as his deceased fiancee’s birthday was approaching, Joshua stumbled upon an artificial intelligence website that promised a chance to chat with “the world’s most super computer.”
One thing led to another and eventually, Barbeau built himself a custom chatbot modeled after his dead fiancée. In his most recent Reddit post that summarized the entire situation, Joshua wrote: “This wasn’t about bringing back the dead or finding a way to capture her soul in the ghost of the machine, I saw it as merely an experiment I was putting myself through to draw out emotions and memories that were buried deep down by years of suppressed grief—and it worked better than I could have possibly imagined.”
More info: Facebook | twitter.com | sfchronicle.com | projectdecember.net
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A grieving Canadian named Joshua Barbeau lost his fiancée Jessica 9 years ago due to rare liver disease
Image credits: josh.barbeau.58
Last year, Joshua stumbled upon an artificial intelligence website “that promised a chance to chat with ‘the world’s most super computer’”
Image credits: josh.barbeau.58
Barbeau built himself a custom chatbot modeled after his deceased fiancée
Image credits: josh.barbeau.58
He anonymously shared some of the details on Reddit, saying that it might “help depressed survivors find some closure”
Image credits: josh.barbeau.58
Some of the conversations were shared online with the help of the article done by the San Francisco Chronicle
Image credits: San Francisco Chronicle
Barbeau said: “I felt I had a responsibility to share my story. So I did, and over the next 9 months I repeatedly interviewed with a journalist who wrote the article”
Image credits: San Francisco Chronicle
“This wasn’t about bringing back the dead or finding a way to capture her soul in the ghost of the machine”
Image credits: San Francisco Chronicle
“I saw it as merely an experiment I was putting myself through to draw out emotions and memories that were buried deep down by years of suppressed grief”
Image credits: San Francisco Chronicle
Joshua shared that initially, this was a very private thing; however, upon realizing the greater ramifications of it, he decided to share it with the hope of helping others
Image credits: josh.barbeau.58
He realized the potential for using the said technology as a tool for grief support to help millions.
The last few lines of his Reddit post said: “I felt I had a responsibility to share my story. So I did, and over the next 9 months I repeatedly interviewed with a journalist from the San Francisco Chronicle who wrote the article that was finally published just a few days ago.”
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What do you think ?
Stille20 3 years ago
I don't know. I would give anything to speak with my mother again. I wish I could tell her I am getting married and ask her about recipes she use to make, but I feel like a bot like this would only open wounds that are trying to heal.
Susan Green 3 years ago (edited)
I feel the same way, I would love to speak to my mom again, but this would just make me feel more pain.
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Kookamunga 3 years ago
Dude, I know death is hard and grieving is rough, but you need to move on. This isn't Pet Sematary.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Not very kindly phrased, but right to the point. "Reviving" a deceased to get closure or to learn to deal with their death is creepy and insensitive. Although it's hard to accept that your loved one isn't around anymore, you have to live through the times of mourning to be able to pick your life up again. Staying in the past will eventually make you suffer more.
Load More Replies...
Lokitti 3 years ago
To all the people saying this is "wrong" or whatever - people deal with grief in different ways. Grief is a very VERY personal experience, and it's not for us to say what is the right or wrong way for someone to grieve (aside from laws, of course). If this can help even one or two people, then why not? It wouldn't help me, personally, but I can see how maybe some people might get some kind of closure from it.
Aliquid A 3 years ago (edited)
I suppose it depends on how long you use the tool. Maybe if you use it for a short while to get "closure", say things you wanted to say, and then move on... yeah I can see it as a healing tool. But if you keep using it long term, it sounds more like a crutch that stops you from actually healing long term. (but I'm no psychologist, so what do I know?)
mcborge1 3 years ago
I lost my wife to cancer in 97 and I still miss her totally but i don't think I could ever bring myself to do something like this. No A.I could ever seem like her no matter how good it was as the emotional connection just wouldn't be there for me. I'm glad this chap got something worthwhile from doing this but it just wouldn't work for me.
bryguy 3 years ago
Some of the reasons why you'd want to communicate with someone who passed is to ask what you never did, tell them what you meant to say, ask about old memories etc, but all of this cannot be done with a super computer. You're only programming information you already have. There is no way to get those old recipes, or ask about a long lost relative. You're talking to a computer you programmed to talk how you wanted. You're essentially talking to yourself. This is just extending the grieving and pain in my opinion.
ERIKA H. 3 years ago
This! So accurate. Especially, "You're talking to a computer you programmed to talk how you wanted. You're essentially talking to yourself." Couldn't put it better.
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Tracy Baparam 3 years ago
This is so sad, but it's not real. She's gone, he's talking to a computer. I hope he's able to move on with his life and find the closure he needs.
VogueGal 3 years ago
Black Mirror. I've lost my dad to rare liver disease but we never had closure even though I was the last person slept next to him before his death; we both fell asleep, I woke up and he didn't. This would help me bring closure and knowing that I shouldn't feel guilty for moving on.
KT 3 years ago
I think this is a bad idea. Grieving is hard enough without adding this creation into the mix. It could be addicting and cause more pain than neccesary
VogueGal 3 years ago
I agree with you that it could be addicting, but it will not has the same affect for people without addition personality. I, personally, think it can be a good idea for someone that needs to understand that life happens and it's not their fault nor that they (I'm one of them) shall feel guilty for wanting to move on, 8 years, 100 years, doesn't matter long it takes, people just need time to be okay, in their own pace and by whichever method. Everyone is different and every story needs to be heard and respected.
Load More Replies... 
Rannveig Ess 3 years ago
This is sad and creepy. Yes, everyone grieves differently. And yes, you're supposed to grieve, then move on. Sometimes it takes a ton of work, and it's not easy. That's when you go to Grief Therapists, support groups, or just try hard to get back into Life. This guy has had NINE years. People lose beloved spouses, loved ones, partners or even children. You can't replace them but I'm always so happy for those who do find someone else, a different kind of Love because it's a different person, but still beautiful of course. Life goes on. This guy, spending 9 years not moving on and now creating a virtual Bot that he's bonding with? And saying he has a "responsibility" to share this? It's not therapy, it's not learning to cope. It's self-soothing using Fantasy
Airis Malfoy 3 years ago
Wow... i am happy for you! glad that you could speak to your fiancee again...
° 𝔏𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔰 ° 3 years ago
Darn these onion ninjas it’s just so wholesome and sad at the same timeeeeer
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 3 years ago
well, i went to the offered 'more information' site, and got no really useful information. wants $5 to 'join', you get 1000 'credits' for that. does not tell you what you get for a 'credit', does not tell you much of anything actually. i dont pay no matter how desirable a product is, unless i get a clear definition of what my money gets me. i would certainly consider this purchase, it sounds very interesting, but they need a better 'laymans' explaination....
John C 3 years ago
As with most things, I think you'll get out of something like this what you put in. Sure, the interaction isn't authentic, if you define authentic as talking to that person (who is now dead). But quantifying our experiences is something that scientists agree is impossible. Our experiences boil down to the electrical impulses from our senses. When input is received for any of our senses, who's to determine what's "real" when our senses are stimulated? All this to say: if you mentally invest in this sort of thing, I can totally see where it could provide a cathartic release, esp for those that are having trouble grieving. Glad he shared. This sort of stuff is definitely in our future.
Stille20 3 years ago
I don't know. I would give anything to speak with my mother again. I wish I could tell her I am getting married and ask her about recipes she use to make, but I feel like a bot like this would only open wounds that are trying to heal.
Susan Green 3 years ago (edited)
I feel the same way, I would love to speak to my mom again, but this would just make me feel more pain.
Load More Replies... Kookamunga 3 years ago
Dude, I know death is hard and grieving is rough, but you need to move on. This isn't Pet Sematary.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Not very kindly phrased, but right to the point. "Reviving" a deceased to get closure or to learn to deal with their death is creepy and insensitive. Although it's hard to accept that your loved one isn't around anymore, you have to live through the times of mourning to be able to pick your life up again. Staying in the past will eventually make you suffer more.
Load More Replies... Lokitti 3 years ago
To all the people saying this is "wrong" or whatever - people deal with grief in different ways. Grief is a very VERY personal experience, and it's not for us to say what is the right or wrong way for someone to grieve (aside from laws, of course). If this can help even one or two people, then why not? It wouldn't help me, personally, but I can see how maybe some people might get some kind of closure from it.
Aliquid A 3 years ago (edited)
I suppose it depends on how long you use the tool. Maybe if you use it for a short while to get "closure", say things you wanted to say, and then move on... yeah I can see it as a healing tool. But if you keep using it long term, it sounds more like a crutch that stops you from actually healing long term. (but I'm no psychologist, so what do I know?)
mcborge1 3 years ago
I lost my wife to cancer in 97 and I still miss her totally but i don't think I could ever bring myself to do something like this. No A.I could ever seem like her no matter how good it was as the emotional connection just wouldn't be there for me. I'm glad this chap got something worthwhile from doing this but it just wouldn't work for me.
bryguy 3 years ago
Some of the reasons why you'd want to communicate with someone who passed is to ask what you never did, tell them what you meant to say, ask about old memories etc, but all of this cannot be done with a super computer. You're only programming information you already have. There is no way to get those old recipes, or ask about a long lost relative. You're talking to a computer you programmed to talk how you wanted. You're essentially talking to yourself. This is just extending the grieving and pain in my opinion.
ERIKA H. 3 years ago
This! So accurate. Especially, "You're talking to a computer you programmed to talk how you wanted. You're essentially talking to yourself." Couldn't put it better.
Load More Replies... Tracy Baparam 3 years ago
This is so sad, but it's not real. She's gone, he's talking to a computer. I hope he's able to move on with his life and find the closure he needs.
VogueGal 3 years ago
Black Mirror. I've lost my dad to rare liver disease but we never had closure even though I was the last person slept next to him before his death; we both fell asleep, I woke up and he didn't. This would help me bring closure and knowing that I shouldn't feel guilty for moving on.
KT 3 years ago
I think this is a bad idea. Grieving is hard enough without adding this creation into the mix. It could be addicting and cause more pain than neccesary
VogueGal 3 years ago
I agree with you that it could be addicting, but it will not has the same affect for people without addition personality. I, personally, think it can be a good idea for someone that needs to understand that life happens and it's not their fault nor that they (I'm one of them) shall feel guilty for wanting to move on, 8 years, 100 years, doesn't matter long it takes, people just need time to be okay, in their own pace and by whichever method. Everyone is different and every story needs to be heard and respected.
Load More Replies... Rannveig Ess 3 years ago
This is sad and creepy. Yes, everyone grieves differently. And yes, you're supposed to grieve, then move on. Sometimes it takes a ton of work, and it's not easy. That's when you go to Grief Therapists, support groups, or just try hard to get back into Life. This guy has had NINE years. People lose beloved spouses, loved ones, partners or even children. You can't replace them but I'm always so happy for those who do find someone else, a different kind of Love because it's a different person, but still beautiful of course. Life goes on. This guy, spending 9 years not moving on and now creating a virtual Bot that he's bonding with? And saying he has a "responsibility" to share this? It's not therapy, it's not learning to cope. It's self-soothing using Fantasy
Airis Malfoy 3 years ago
Wow... i am happy for you! glad that you could speak to your fiancee again...
° 𝔏𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔰 ° 3 years ago
Darn these onion ninjas it’s just so wholesome and sad at the same timeeeeer
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 3 years ago
well, i went to the offered 'more information' site, and got no really useful information. wants $5 to 'join', you get 1000 'credits' for that. does not tell you what you get for a 'credit', does not tell you much of anything actually. i dont pay no matter how desirable a product is, unless i get a clear definition of what my money gets me. i would certainly consider this purchase, it sounds very interesting, but they need a better 'laymans' explaination....
John C 3 years ago
As with most things, I think you'll get out of something like this what you put in. Sure, the interaction isn't authentic, if you define authentic as talking to that person (who is now dead). But quantifying our experiences is something that scientists agree is impossible. Our experiences boil down to the electrical impulses from our senses. When input is received for any of our senses, who's to determine what's "real" when our senses are stimulated? All this to say: if you mentally invest in this sort of thing, I can totally see where it could provide a cathartic release, esp for those that are having trouble grieving. Glad he shared. This sort of stuff is definitely in our future.
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