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Man Forced To Explain To Police Why He’s At The Pool After Entitled Dad Thinks The Worst Of Him
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Man Forced To Explain To Police Why He’s At The Pool After Entitled Dad Thinks The Worst Of Him

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Life changes when a person becomes a parent; sometimes, so does their sense of entitlement, which might result in some troublesome situations.

The redditor u/Tenacitybrit9 met a parent with such a sense at the local swimming pool. The man was relaxing by the poolside when he was approached by a manager with a message from an entitled father. Even though the redditor didn’t put fuel to the flame, the police were soon involved too. Scroll down to find the full story below.

Below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with the OP, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

RELATED:

    A heightened sense of parent entitlement can become the cause of all sorts of troublesome situations

    Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)

    This man wanted to relax by the pool, but his plans were altered by an entitled father

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    Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Steward Masweneng (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: u/Tenacitybrit9

    The OP was upset with the entitled parent’s accusations but grateful for the support from the online community

    During a recent interview with Bored Panda, the OP shared that the most upsetting part about the situation was being accused of such an awful thing. “Not only was there no evidence to suggest such a thing, but this guy made no attempt to communicate that he was upset with me beyond a threat.”

    But he was grateful for the support the Reddit community provided him, offering everything from sympathy to detailed legal advice, he said. “I was preparing for a more mixed response when I first posted that story, but the overwhelming number of positive comments was incredible.”

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    Fellow redditors seemingly also shared their ideas of what such parent entitlement stems from. “In this particular case, many of my commenters believe this man was projecting his own horrible tendencies onto me, using me as a target to justify his own thoughts and beliefs; I agree with this assessment.

    “In general, I believe there can be a vast number of reasons: trying to live through one’s child, a belief that simply being a parent makes them automatically above others in life, thinking the world owes them for adding to the population, or maybe even being driven insane by raising kids that they might not been ready to have?” the OP suggested, sharing why he thinks some parents might have a heightened sense of entitlement.

    There are numerous reasons why some people develop a heightened sense of entitlement

    Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)

    A sense of entitlement can quite often become the reason for conflict or troublesome situations; and it’s not difficult to see why. When a person expects special treatment for reasons unknown or feels inherently deserving of certain things, it doesn’t really put them on the list of the most pleasant people to be around.

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    When entitled people treat the world as if it owes them something, it might make others wonder where such an attitude comes from. While there is arguably no one right answer to this, BetterHelp suggests that there are several theories regarding reasons for developing a sense of entitlement, such as personality disorders, matters related to overcompensating for past wrongs, or parental influence.

    BetterHelp pointed out that a heightened sense of entitlement can be a result of maltreatment, unfairness, or neglect experienced in the past. Rooted in the feeling of victimhood or resentment related to the events, such a sense can manifest itself later in life in the form of unreasonable expectations. For example, a child who’s never experienced understanding growing up can expect it from others to an excessive level as an adult.

    A sense of entitlement can also be developed as a result of narcissistic personality or antisocial personality disorders (NPD and ASPD respectively). People with such disorders tend to view themselves as superior to others, which typically goes hand in hand with exaggerated self-esteem and an unfair view of other people’s worth.

    Entitlement often stems from the inability to properly process emotions

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

    In a piece for Psychology Today, a Denver-based marriage and family therapist, Karyl McBride, explained that entitlement is the “unreasonable expectation that one should receive special treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations”, adding that for narcissists, their needs come before anyone else’s. She suggested that that is because narcissists are often raised in families where feelings are denied and projected instead of dealt with.

    In such cases, the child’s emotions are not attended to and they might not know how to process them themselves. When their own emotions are not dealt with, it’s no surprise that they can’t have empathy for others. The inability to tune in to their own feelings can then be brought into adulthood, which might result in narcissistic behaviors or a sense of entitlement, especially when a person is stressed or overwhelmed.

    BetterHelp also suggested that the way a child is raised from an early age can affect their sense of entitlement as a grown-up. For instance, if the parents constantly say yes, the child is likely to feel entitled to everything they want, which, years later, might not be met with the expected outcomes from the adults around them.

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    It’s unclear what was the basis for the sense of entitlement of the father the OP met at the swimming pool, but he felt that his wish for the man to leave the premises was to be met with no resistance. And even though the redditor did leave, the manager of the pool later revealed that it was the entitled parent they considered more troublesome than the OP.

    Fellow redditors shared their views in the comments, the OP replied to some of them

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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    Manny
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The gym should ban this Kevin idiot from causing problems with future members. If it was proven this guy didn't do anything wrong why didn't the cops escort Kevin out then?

    Seadog
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts exactly. There are xx people here and he's the only one complaining? It's clear who is the one that needs to leave. And how stupid do you have to be to say you're going to tell lies about someone being a pedo? Talk about a lawsuit lawyers will line up for. Makes me wonder what else this clown ahs gotten away with because no one will stand up to him?

    Load More Replies...
    arthbach
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oooh dear. I've just noted someone in the non-BP comments replied in a sarcastic way, "OMG how dare you hang out in a pool while there's kids around. You monster!" This is not a good way to respond to someone who has identified themselves as being autistic. Not all autistic people can recognise sarcasm. The mantra is, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

    PeepPeep the duck
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m glad I’m one way they did double check, when I’m training at the public pools being mermaids we a are smothered in kids etc wether we want to or not, one pool I love going to for its fountains and slides, has a regular pedo guy, he’s not just sitting by the poolside and just swimming, he’s flexing his package in the kids faces any chance he gets, and other obvious gross stuff. my bff who was heavily abused as a child, went straight up and verbally abused him trying to get him to leave as parents were concerned by then and management had no right of cause to kick him out as he hadn’t physically done anything yet, even though he was a clear threat. So my bff just used to keep him away from the kids and us by subtlety (not in front of the kids) intimating him away.

    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh there is a pedophile at our mall like that. He waits for children to walk by his food court table and actually grabs them and won't let them leave the conversation. I told my daughter to never under any circumstances talk to him. He sits there all day long. I think he may have gotten arrested again though since he has been gone the past couple years after being there for 8

    Load More Replies...
    Gustav Gallifrey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BP, the word is 'pedophile' (American spelling). We all know what the blanked-out word is. It's in the dictionary. It appears in newspapers all the time. It's ok to leave it uncovered. It's EXTREMELY unlikely that anyone is going to read the word 'pedophile' on BP, decide 'hey, that's a good idea, i could be a pedophile!', and then blame BP for it afterwards.

    Bryn
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You being autistic shouldn't matter - you're using a community service. Community services aren't just for families with kids.

    Annette Toop
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, if I was concerned about someone at a pool I would talk to management and then leave. But a guy chillin'? That's not the least bit concerning. The police should never have been called.

    Marc Wilson
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd seriously consider getting a solicitor to write him a "letter before action" saying that he would be going to court defending a slander case if there is any repetition of such unfounded allegations.

    Sarah Léon
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm autistic and I love the water. And I feel much confortable around animals and children (they're still instinctive, it's easier for me). In the water (pool; lake, ocean), I'm not the kind to swim from right to left and go back. I go under water, I roll, I jump... I'm a kid ! So anytime I go, I end up surrounded with kids who wants to play with me. We jump, I teach them some good moves, I take them on my shoulders... even when we don't speak the same language it happens ! And I never had any issue about that with any parents in any country, and I know it's only because I'm a woman. I'm sorry men are still judged for being men :/

    Dennis Adrian Middendorp
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience, but at least being in the UK, the police were polite and understanding, as they are here in Oz.

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the Kevin who is the creepy one here. Could he have been projecting his own unhealthy thoughts on OP?

    Khall Khall
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say where do you work, because even an accusation of this can have dire consequences if you're in the wrong industry. Therefore him making improper accusations is a direct threat to your livelihood and probably a winnable lawsuit if not a crime.

    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t decide if Kevin (may be the male version of a Karen) is a straight tool or twat … or both …

    Jay Walsh
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time I see a post, or one of my friends say "Men will never understand." ....This. This is not isolated, all men are treated this way, everywhere.

    Gustav Gallifrey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have to be careful to never be alone with a kid or kids (often even family/relatives). You have to be careful to not be alone with a woman who you don't know well. You have to be careful about who you look at, and for how long you look at them. You have to be careful about who you stand near on the bus, the train, the railway platform. You have to be careful about what you say, who you say it to, and how you say it. If female colleagues mention anything at all sexual in break-room conversation, you have to leave immediately. You have to be careful to never mention anything that could be construed as sexual within hearing of any female colleague or bystander. You have to be careful about everything, all the time, because if anyone gets annoyed with you at all, they only have to say 'sexual harassment' or 'pedophile', and bang! you're labelled, guilty until proven innocent (and even then, the smell lingers).

    Load More Replies...
    Ivona
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Dark goggles make it seem as if the man doesn't want anyone to know who he's looking at, and just sitting by the side of the pool, seemingly staring at the swimmers, does look strange.

    Gozer LeGozerian
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    How is him being autistic in any way relevant when he's not doing anything related to it? Seems like someone likes to cling on to a diagnosis

    Manny
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The gym should ban this Kevin idiot from causing problems with future members. If it was proven this guy didn't do anything wrong why didn't the cops escort Kevin out then?

    Seadog
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts exactly. There are xx people here and he's the only one complaining? It's clear who is the one that needs to leave. And how stupid do you have to be to say you're going to tell lies about someone being a pedo? Talk about a lawsuit lawyers will line up for. Makes me wonder what else this clown ahs gotten away with because no one will stand up to him?

    Load More Replies...
    arthbach
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oooh dear. I've just noted someone in the non-BP comments replied in a sarcastic way, "OMG how dare you hang out in a pool while there's kids around. You monster!" This is not a good way to respond to someone who has identified themselves as being autistic. Not all autistic people can recognise sarcasm. The mantra is, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

    PeepPeep the duck
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m glad I’m one way they did double check, when I’m training at the public pools being mermaids we a are smothered in kids etc wether we want to or not, one pool I love going to for its fountains and slides, has a regular pedo guy, he’s not just sitting by the poolside and just swimming, he’s flexing his package in the kids faces any chance he gets, and other obvious gross stuff. my bff who was heavily abused as a child, went straight up and verbally abused him trying to get him to leave as parents were concerned by then and management had no right of cause to kick him out as he hadn’t physically done anything yet, even though he was a clear threat. So my bff just used to keep him away from the kids and us by subtlety (not in front of the kids) intimating him away.

    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh there is a pedophile at our mall like that. He waits for children to walk by his food court table and actually grabs them and won't let them leave the conversation. I told my daughter to never under any circumstances talk to him. He sits there all day long. I think he may have gotten arrested again though since he has been gone the past couple years after being there for 8

    Load More Replies...
    Gustav Gallifrey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BP, the word is 'pedophile' (American spelling). We all know what the blanked-out word is. It's in the dictionary. It appears in newspapers all the time. It's ok to leave it uncovered. It's EXTREMELY unlikely that anyone is going to read the word 'pedophile' on BP, decide 'hey, that's a good idea, i could be a pedophile!', and then blame BP for it afterwards.

    Bryn
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You being autistic shouldn't matter - you're using a community service. Community services aren't just for families with kids.

    Annette Toop
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, if I was concerned about someone at a pool I would talk to management and then leave. But a guy chillin'? That's not the least bit concerning. The police should never have been called.

    Marc Wilson
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd seriously consider getting a solicitor to write him a "letter before action" saying that he would be going to court defending a slander case if there is any repetition of such unfounded allegations.

    Sarah Léon
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm autistic and I love the water. And I feel much confortable around animals and children (they're still instinctive, it's easier for me). In the water (pool; lake, ocean), I'm not the kind to swim from right to left and go back. I go under water, I roll, I jump... I'm a kid ! So anytime I go, I end up surrounded with kids who wants to play with me. We jump, I teach them some good moves, I take them on my shoulders... even when we don't speak the same language it happens ! And I never had any issue about that with any parents in any country, and I know it's only because I'm a woman. I'm sorry men are still judged for being men :/

    Dennis Adrian Middendorp
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience, but at least being in the UK, the police were polite and understanding, as they are here in Oz.

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the Kevin who is the creepy one here. Could he have been projecting his own unhealthy thoughts on OP?

    Khall Khall
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say where do you work, because even an accusation of this can have dire consequences if you're in the wrong industry. Therefore him making improper accusations is a direct threat to your livelihood and probably a winnable lawsuit if not a crime.

    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t decide if Kevin (may be the male version of a Karen) is a straight tool or twat … or both …

    Jay Walsh
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time I see a post, or one of my friends say "Men will never understand." ....This. This is not isolated, all men are treated this way, everywhere.

    Gustav Gallifrey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have to be careful to never be alone with a kid or kids (often even family/relatives). You have to be careful to not be alone with a woman who you don't know well. You have to be careful about who you look at, and for how long you look at them. You have to be careful about who you stand near on the bus, the train, the railway platform. You have to be careful about what you say, who you say it to, and how you say it. If female colleagues mention anything at all sexual in break-room conversation, you have to leave immediately. You have to be careful to never mention anything that could be construed as sexual within hearing of any female colleague or bystander. You have to be careful about everything, all the time, because if anyone gets annoyed with you at all, they only have to say 'sexual harassment' or 'pedophile', and bang! you're labelled, guilty until proven innocent (and even then, the smell lingers).

    Load More Replies...
    Ivona
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Dark goggles make it seem as if the man doesn't want anyone to know who he's looking at, and just sitting by the side of the pool, seemingly staring at the swimmers, does look strange.

    Gozer LeGozerian
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    How is him being autistic in any way relevant when he's not doing anything related to it? Seems like someone likes to cling on to a diagnosis

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