A wedding might be one of the most expensive parties a person throws in their lifetime. To some, a big gathering with a breathtaking location, elaborate decorations and menu items, and top-notch entertainment is worth it to spend a perfect day celebrating love. However, not everyone’s dreams and wishes align with their realistic budget, leaving the couple scratching their heads about how to finance their extravagant event.

Redditor Ok_Panic_1861 recently shared how he was expected to cover his niece’s $50,000 wedding because he agreed to help with its costs. When the couple got engaged, he told them that he was willing to pitch in. However, the bride-to-be completely misinterpreted his kindness, which put the celebration at risk. 

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with seasoned wedding coordinator Eric Horowitz from Style Me Pretty, who kindly agreed to tell us more about splitting wedding costs.

It’s important that the couple’s vision for their wedding day aligns with their realistic budget

Image credits: Omelnickiy (not the actual image)

When this couple drastically went over the budget, the bride turned to her uncle, expecting $50,000

Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual image)

Image credits: Ok_Panic_1861

“60–70% of couples get some financial help from their families”

In an ideal scenario, the couple should be financially stable and have enough saved up to afford a wedding. However, with the average cost of a wedding being $35,000 in 2023—$5,000 more than in 2022—it becomes more and more challenging to pay out of pocket. 

One way to mitigate the costs is to turn to family for financial help. Traditionally, the couple’s families have been glad to pitch in. However, nowadays the custom is changing.

“Family contributions are still going strong, but the “who pays for what” tradition is definitely evolving,” says wedding coordinator Eric Horowitz from Style Me Pretty. “While it used to be the bride’s family footing the bill, today it’s more of a team effort. In fact, around 60–70% of couples get some financial help from their families. That said, many couples are stepping up and taking on a bigger share of the cost themselves. It’s all about finding the balance that works for each family.”

However, Horowitz notes that the most important thing before accepting financial aid is to talk it out. “Couples should have heart-to-heart with family members early on—lay everything out on the table. Make sure everyone’s on the same page about expectations, who’s covering what, and whether those contributions come with “strings” (e.g., Mom insisting on adding her entire book club to the guest list!). A little transparency goes a long way in keeping the peace and preventing any awkward disagreements down the road.”

“Couples have lots of options to take control of their wedding budget without leaning on family”

If the couple can’t turn to their family for financial aid, Horowitz recommends getting creative. “Couples have lots of options to take control of their wedding budget without leaning on family. Some popular ideas include saving up in advance (pro tip: set up a dedicated wedding fund), picking up a side hustle, or scaling back to have a more intimate, off-peak celebration (weekdays are the new Saturdays!)”

Another great option he suggests is crowdfunding through gift registries. “Your loved ones can pitch in toward the dream day. If you want to go the loan route, make sure it’s manageable—you don’t want to start married life with a financial hangover!”

While taking the money-borrowing route, financial planner Jeanne Fisher also emphasizes the importance of carefulness. She recommends couples look into credit cards and their reward systems. “I’m a huge fan of maximizing points and rewards. That’s a great thing to do,” says Fisher. The key here is to find ways to borrow strategically. Avoiding interests at all costs and paying off the balance in time ensures that the couple can enjoy the beginning of their marriage without putting the majority of their focus on money.

The last piece of advice that Horowitz leaves couples with is to “keep your eye on the prize—a fun, love-filled day that’s meaningful to you and your partner. It’s easy to get caught up in all the stuff, but at the end of the day, a wedding is about celebrating your journey together. Plus, you can always throw in a cute DIY element to keep things personal and budget-friendly.”

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