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“His Wife Said Those Didn’t Count”: SIL Refuses A Handmade Gift, Demands A New One Instead
Getting someone a gift, no matter the occasion, is not something one has to do (even if they are strongly incentivized by a sense of obligation); they choose to do it, typically in good faith. But not all recipients are equally grateful for gifts, especially when it’s not something they expected or wanted.
Take this redditor’s SIL, for instance; when he couldn’t afford a gift off the registry, the OP put a great deal of time and effort into making a handmade one. However, the woman refused to accept it, and went as far as to demand that he got her a different gift instead.
Scroll down to find the full story below where you will also find Bored Panda’s interviews with a psychiatrist and philosopher Neel Burton, and psychotherapist and psychoanalyst F. Diane Barth, who were kind enough to share their views on gift giving and family relationships.
RELATED:
It’s customary to bring baby shower gifts for the expecting parents
Image credits: GeorgeRudy (not the actual image)
This person gave his SIL a handmade gift, but she refused to accept it and asked for a new one instead
Image credits: Sam Lion (not the actual image)
Image credits: Michael Burrows (not the actual image)
Image credits: 364goalsss
A gift is something that should be given freely
A gift is usually an act of kindness, a token of one’s love and appreciation for the receiver, which the giver really hopes that they like. And while they are sometimes given out of obligation, whether or not to give someone a gift is ultimately a choice.
“Like love and friendship, gifts ought to be given freely,” psychiatrist and philosopher, author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions, Neel Burton told Bored Panda in a recent interview, adding that strict demands in regards to gifts should never be made. “Otherwise, the gift is no longer a gift, but a contribution or transaction,” he said.
An expert in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, F. Diane Barth seconded the idea that giving gifts should be done with one’s free will. “While I think it’s very important that people be able to ask for something that they want, demanding it takes away the whole idea of it as a gift. A gift is something that’s given freely, and when it becomes a response to a demand, it runs the danger of no longer being given freely.”
Though, according to Burton, accepting a gift binds the receiver in some way to the giver, based on the nature and value of the gift. That is why a person should be mindful in accepting gifts, especially things of great value.
Talking about sentimental value and handmade gifts, he suggested that there is nothing more heartfelt than a handmade gift, particularly in the context of a new arrival. “Refusing the handmade gift is likely to lead to feelings of hurt, resentment, and sadness, and negatively impact the relationship between the two families.”
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual image)
People often have high expectations when it comes to gifts from family members
F. Diane Barth also believed that refusing to accept a handmade gift can hurt the gift-giver’s feelings. In an interview with Bored Panda, she said that there are a few things to keep in mind when accepting gifts: the first one, consisting of two parts, is that you don’t have to take a gift and you don’t owe the person who is giving you the gift anything. “[Secondly,] even if you don’t like something, it’s useful to be as kind and respectful of the giver as possible,” she said.
Being respectful and kind is arguably especially important when the gift is presented by family members, who are often held to a different standard when it comes to gifts. In Neel Burton’s opinion, that is partly because family members tend to be more bound and forgiving, and partly because they cannot walk away from the relationship easily.
According to Barth, the reason why family members often have to face higher expectations—which is a view both the OP’s mom and sister-in-law seemed to foster—is based on people assuming that family members know them better than anyone else, and so people expect family to treat them based on that knowledge.
“The psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut said that we expect family members to operate like they’re part of us – when our arm doesn’t do what we expect it to do, for example, we get upset with it. And when it comes to gifts, we expect our family to know us like they know themselves, and therefore to know exactly what we would like and give it to us.”
The OP’s sister-in-law made sure that people knew what she wanted to get by registering for gifts, but the redditor admitted to not being in a position where he could buy anything from it. So he decided to create a gift with his own hands, which, in fellow netizens’ eyes, didn’t make him a jerk at all; they shared their views in the comments.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual image)
Fellow netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, they didn’t think the OP was a jerk in the situation
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What do you think ?
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago
I would have been thrilled over a handknitted blanket. I would have told the baby every time I used the blanket that "Your uncle knitted this for you." So much more than just throwing money at the baby.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Yes!! I said this in a different comment, but my tía (aunt) hand-embroidered my full name and birthdate on a store-bought blanket (which displayed Huckleberry Pie, Strawberry Shortcake's good pal.) Yeah, the blanket was store-bought/mass-produced, but my auntie took the time and effort to embroider the heck out of it and personalize it to ME. I still have that blanket and I treasure it, especially since my auntie died of complications of diabetes many years ago. I honestly think that OP's niece would have loved that blankie no matter WHAT color it is - even if she ended up being a little girl who loved pink and purple instead of blue. I still treasure every last physical piece of my childhood that I still have - my two baby blankets, my stuffed dog Chace, etc. I think SIL did her daughter a disservice by taking that opportunity - to have a hand-made baby blanket to treasure in future years - away from her.
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Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
The SIL is ridiculous and the rest of the family doesn't sound much better. It takes a lot of nerve to give back a handmade gift because you don't like the color. He can't afford the stuff on the list so now they are out of luck on getting anything else. Just because you don't like the color doesn't mean you can't use it. I'm one of the people that hate gender reveals. Why get everything for a boy or girl when the next baby can be the other. When I had mine there was lots of green or yellow or white prints that didn't matter. You could also get boy or girl stuff. My 2nd baby I had to go for an ultrasound because they thought the baby was breech and yep. We didn't tell anybody it was a boy, picked my c-section date that day. There was no doubt at all that it was a boy, he was in the perfect position.
PattyK 5 months ago
It takes a lot of nerve — and bad manners — to give back ANY gift.
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Elvira394 5 months ago (edited)
Honestly, if a man, ANY man, had knitted me ANY custom item for my baby gift...I would have snapped that s**t up and bragged on him for the rest of his life. Even if it was a 13 inch pair of socks, or a knitted red bikini. The level of care and love shown by that act (yes I know it shouldn't be more impressive that a man knitted than a woman, but it's the world we live in), I can't imagine any other gift would surpass. Registries are suggestions...a guide for the people who want to spend some money but also want to make sure it's on a gift the couple wants or needs, without duplication. They are not mandatory directives. Handmade gifts are and should always be accepted just graciously as is the $10,000 guilded crib from a registry. What a person can give and does, outweighs wishes that that person might give more.
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
There’s one word in your comment that cinches the whole issue: graciously. Grace, graciousness. Those are sorely lacking in people these days. Of course, there have always been people who lack grace, but now it seems they’re being lauded for it instead of shamed as they should be. Being unpleasant and downright coarse with others doesn’t make you better or smarter than they are. It just shows you up as an unmannered and socially unacceptable a*****e. They behave as if real life is a reality TV show and they’re having their “oh no they didn’t” moment. How deluded. That is not how you should behave if you want to live in a society with other people in it—-unless you always want to be fighting. Personally, I don’t want to go through life with nothing but conflicts and strife. So I don’t incite them, and I do it by being generally polite. Yes, I have my moments, especially when angry, but that behavior is saved for those situations. I don’t behave like that 24/7/365, as if constantly inviting conflict. That is an exhausting way to live, and I’d rather conserve my energy to spend on the things I enjoy.
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Laura Gillette 5 months ago
LOLOLOL this happened to me. I offered to make my brother and his wife a blanket for their first baby (I knit and crochet). They were like, "oh, if you want, I guess, but can you make us a penguin?" My SIL's favorite animal is penguin. I was like what. I had never made a penguin. I had to teach myself a lot of new skills. I finally made a really cute pink penguin (they were having a girl) and they said, "oh we wanted a regular colored penguin, black and white." They had not specified a color initially. They didn't even want to keep the pink penguin. I had to make another, traditional penguin. Fortunately, that penguin is now my niece's favorite stuffy! She thinks it's an owl though. 🤣
AMaureen Dance 5 months ago
I knitted a baby blanket for a friend, many years ago. This friend is, without a doubt, the most materialistic person I've ever known. She still had the manners to write me a thank you note.
Load More Replies... Undercover 5 months ago
My client knitted mittens for me for christmas. She's a stroke survivor and has difficutlies controlling her left hand, so it took huge commitment to knit these for me. I cried a little because I was so moved 🥹🥹🥹 handmade presents are the best ones!
moggie63 5 months ago
My gf knitted a woollen w***y warmer for me on a coach trip back to uni from home. I told her she needed to put it in a hot wash to shrink it and that she should know better.
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Insomniac 5 months ago
If I ever returned a gift to someone because I didn't like it, my mother would send me to the giver on my knees to apologize (yes, I am a grown adult, but she would haul me by my hair). A gift is something you choose to give. You are never obligated. For years, all I could give my nieces and nephews for birthdays and Christmas was homemade baking. They were always delighted. I have given loaves of fresh bread with homemade jam as wedding gifts (in a nice basket). Always copious thanks. I have hand-sewn baby clothes from scraps I had in my stash because I couldn't afford to buy. Nobody has ever complained or demanded something else, even my well-to-do family and friends who can afford fancy things. People with manners are grateful for the intent behind the gift. If Brother and SIL cannot afford to put together a nursery without family buying the stuff, they should have thought twice about having a baby. It's not OP's responsibility.
Nonya Business 5 months ago
You have a good mom who raised a greatful human being.
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Valerie Woods 5 months ago
We're living in a materialistic society that rewards bad behavior. The lack of class and manners is appalling, and it's being condoned by the grandparents. Buy nothing!
Vinnie 5 months ago
Imagine the SIL telling the OP's niece: "Your uncle is dead to us. He made a blanket in the wrong colour."
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Gonzo Henson 5 months ago
Are they ransoming the baby? It's rude to demand gifts, ruder to demand expensive gifts, rudest to give back gifts that 'aren't good enough.' If OP gives them anything at this point, it should be a couple of packs of ramen noodles with a note saying "After giving back my labour of love, the only thing I have left is the food off of my damn plate."
Mike F 5 months ago
The parents will come around when they have it up to "here" with diapers, lost sleep and laundry. They will be on their knees begging for the OP to babysit so they can have a break and a "date night". I wouldn't worry too much, lol.
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Kim Kermes 5 months ago
Sailors have been knitting and crocheting aboard ship for centuries, including during WWII. My brother's FIL gave me a shawl he crocheted. Go ahead, tell a WWII vet about grown a*s men knitting.
Bowtechie 5 months ago (edited)
The mom saying he should just "put it on his credit card" makes me think she's one of those people who doesn't understand a credit card isn't just free money. He will have to pay that off from the same funds that already aren't sufficient to pay for the stupid registry, and it's just insane to suggest he ruin his credit for such an ungrateful SIL. Entitlement all around (except OP obviously).
Toni Reiner 5 months ago
Made my daughter-in-law a beautiful blanket and an gave a car seat. Never said thank you. She expected the 500 dollar stroller.
marco 5 months ago
NTA - A gift is not a thing you ask for, if someone wants to make a gift, okay, if not, okay as well. If they can not afford the things on theyr own, they maybe should not have made a baby. Anyway, you made a nice gift an put a lot of efford in it, it is very disrespectful to teturn that gift because of the "wrong colour".
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
What kinds of items are they asking for that are over $100? A carseat, a crib, and maybe a swing are reasonable at that cost but I can't think of anything else a baby would need that couldn't be reasonably found for cheaper. And I'm a mom of two.
Papa 5 months ago
I believe there are fancy strollers that cost well over $100.00.
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Zena 5 months ago (edited)
A registry for a baby shower is a great thing for things like a stroller, crib, car seat, etc., when the parents have thoughtfully considered their needs, compared safety features, etc. so that people who want to make this kind of purchase know what will make the parents happy. Also nice if you have a "theme" for your nursery, to let people know ("we're doing Winnie-the-Pooh stuff"); in this case, you could certainly pick up the theme and purchase off-registry items that go with the theme. But: a handmade baby blanket (or clothes; I have a friend who knits an entire layette) is something to be cherished for the effort it takes, regardless of whether it's the right color or theme. These folks are idiots. Also: Dad should be old enough to remember Rosey Grier, former football player who was famous for enjoying knitting, crocheting and needlepoint.
Daya Meyer 5 months ago
I would be grateful and so happy to get a gift like that and I would appreciate his work! There are people who think homemade gifts aren't 'real gifts' and one must pay for it. But they are blind to the value of diy gifts. The thoughts, the time, the planning, the dedication, the learned skill... Never ever I would give it back!
Id row 5 months ago
I would never giver them another gift ever. F the both of them. And f the mother for saying otherwise.
B.Nelson 5 months ago
1) Knitting shows a level of hand dexterity that most people can't fathom 2) Having all your baby blankets match the decor is creepy 3) Baby blanket yarn is expensive! 4) If this happens to anyone else, just get the new parents simple newborn onesies and diapers. It doesn't matter how many they have already, they will always need more.
Hodge Elmwood 5 months ago
Tell SIL that in Victorian days, blue was considered a girl's color because it was "calming", while pink was considered a boy's color because it was more "energetic." On second thought, don't bother telling her, she sounds greedy and entitled.
Justin Smith 5 months ago
Pink was actually because of the red coats. Their coat would get sun damaged with age. So they saw pink as a color for veteran soldiers.
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Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 4 months ago
SIL is a thunderc*nt, OP's brother is a spineless fraction of a man, OP's father is a do*chenozzle and OP is cool as heII for taking the time to make something so beautiful. Like Bouche said, I would have proudly told my child their uncle knitted that just for them!
Craig Reynolds 5 months ago
Am I missing something here? Op is a man! Since when are men expected to go to a baby shower or even buy a gift? I, 63m, never heard of that. Oh, and who has a registry for a baby shower? It sounds like entitled SIL threw herself a shower and that much I do know is unacceptable.
Sherman 5 months ago
I would have been so stoked to get the knitted blanket. I am a bit of a hoarder when it comes to anything knitted. I can't knit. I'm too inpatient N my ADHD will not allow me to actually sit n learn. So I have a deep respect for anyone who can. Anytime I go to a thrift store n I see something that's been knit, I buy it. Doesn't matter how good or bad it is, I buy it. Doesn't matter if it's a lot holder, a bag, a blanket, a pillow cover... I buy it. I probably have about 80 pieces in my collection now. It just makes me so sad to think that someone spent all of this time on this beautiful piece of art n now it's just sitting in this sad thrift store, collecting dust n not being appreciated. So yeah, NTA. F**k your SIL, Your brother N especially your dad. What an insecure, toxic mindset to have... I didn't know that creating art was only for women? Anyway, DO NOT GET THEM ANYTHING ELSE! Beggars can't be choosers. Don't have a baby if y can't afford it. U did ur part. They're just unfr
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 5 months ago
Extreme NTA. But his family is just an open sewage pipe of filth. Wow. The entitlement to specific gifts is mind blowing.
Eva 5 months ago
The only thing reasonable about a registry is to not get bombarded with multiple gifts when you only need one item. SIL is an entitled b***h. The rest of your family sucks. Do not have weddings or baby showers if your guests can't afford expensive gifts and that's not the point of gift giving. Also, there's nothing wrong with men knitting. Don't even give anymore gifts to the kid until they're old enough to speak for themselves, unless they parents complain about their choices. I have a feeling that poor child is going to be taught how to be an ungrateful brat. It was a sweet gift. Best gifts are homemade.
Susy Hammond 5 months ago
The handmade blanket was heart felt and made with love. It could been a car blankie if it clashed with the nursery. Rude family to this uncle-to-be.
Corella Fleabane 5 months ago
Today’s episode of raised by Satan jca Who are these people turning down a handmade blankie???
Jay Cee 2 weeks ago (edited)
Traditionally it was the men that knitted - quite often shepherds to while away the hours watching their flocks. Women spun the wool on spindles and later spinning wheels - hence the name "spinster" - it wasn't regarded as a slur. I crocheted a blanket for my niece's daughter and it went on to become a favoured doll's blanket!
Lena Flising 3 months ago
Dark blue seems to fit any kid, I'd say. It will last longer than a pink or a yellow one. Home-made things are more valuable than simply bought things. If OP's parents think he should buy a present, why don't they chip in, to help him afford it.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
f**k that family. Gifts are exactly that - you don't demand presents.
Jenny Mason 5 months ago
Hand-knitted items are worth far more than some mass-produced nursery items. This is exactly why I will not sell my crocheted and knitted things. People do not understand the costs that go into making things by hand.
Laura Lou 5 months ago
The author changed it for some reason. It had a correct title for this. They sometimes change the title for the article after putting it out, but this just seems to be a mistake.
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Ruth Watry 5 months ago
You cannot force somebody to buy items that they cannot afford. If brother and parents are so adamant that he needs to get a gift off the registry, they can buy it and say that it is from him
ADDchallengedINFP-T 5 months ago
That handknitted blanket is worth much more than $100. I could list a few male knitters here whose work is absolutely amazing. This SIL has a snob complex. OP, keep knitting and perhaps make a list of your hours, cost of yarn, and any other self-employed person creates. Even with min. wage, the blanket would get quite pricey. Be proud of yoursel, and start knitting little things to make some extra money. There are people who will appreciate art, as what knitting is.
Melissa Bellis 4 months ago (edited)
Unfortunately, most people do NOT have an appreciation for what goes into hand made items. A friend donated some items for a youth group fund-raiser. The adult asked the donor if it was okay if she listed the items at a dollar each. The materials, alone, were between $5 and $10 each before any time and effort was put into them. I was showing a person some hand made lace hearts I had made. She asked if I would sell them to her for a dollar each for between 4 and 7 hours work. People who don't make hand made items have no concept about what goes into it.
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Clara Stallworth 5 months ago
Since SIL didn't appreciate the time and effort that OP gave in making the blankie, may I suggest that he should donate it to a charity that assists new moms that couldn't afford baby items? That way, it's not wasted on those who don't appreciate it, like SIL!
Skylar Jaxx 5 months ago
That kid would have loved and cherished that blanket when older and knew the story!!!! Or maybe not with parents like that. Poor kid.
Janelle Collard 5 months ago
Entitled A***oles do not deserve any more consideration from OP. He should go LC with all of the people berating him. People I know would be thrilled with handmade items. The time + love it takes to make them is priceless. I still have an coverlet my grandma made me 65 years ago. :)
2late4me 5 months ago (edited)
If thought and caring are important when choosing a gift, the blanket is spot on. Making a blanket is time consuming and obviously a sign of love. It is truly unique. Knitting was and is done by some of the manliest men around: pirates and other sailors, military (a Vietnam vet and Marine friend of mine crocheted and knitted while deployed). British royal babies' first blankets are hand made. You did great.
Voice of reason? 1 month ago
My kids are grown and I know a lot has changed since then, but my baby showers were women only and my brother's never got me a gift, nor would I have expected one from them. But them calling to ask what OP planned to give after refusing a thoughtful handmade gift?? Just so unbelievably rude and entitled. Start a tradition - handmade gifts for every birthday/holiday!
Georgina Lenna 2 months ago
a hand made blanket, knitted in your precious spare time is more than enough
P.L. Packer 2 months ago
Your SIL is a B***h and your brother is a POS for going along with her attitude. I would just tell them all that since they gave the gift YOU HANDMADE back they can take the registry and shove it where the sun don't shine.
sweet emotion 2 months ago
Tell them (especially SIL) that they are ridiculously entitled AHs and you pity their child, and by the way your friend loved the blanket and was appropriately grateful for your hard work.
blinkaoa187 2 months ago (edited)
I heard once that red used to be the color for boys while blue was a girl's color...at some point they switched. And about the 'price' of the gift, if op makes at least $20 an hour and spent at least 5 hours on it (90% of his downtime for a month, should have been able to earn at least $100 if he'd been at his job those hours) means he invested plenty of money in that gift.
Esther Archuleta 2 months ago
Baby showers are for the baby. It is not the responsibility of family and friends of the expectant parents to furnish the nursery. As for a registry, how greedy can you get?
Andrea Steinacher 2 months ago
Tell your dad knitting was a solely male profession from the 14th to the 19th c
Jaime Borris 3 months ago
i didnt have a baby shower honestly i dont have many friends and while i have a lot (28 aunt/uncles on just my side my husband is closer to 60 aunts/uncle) of relatives i didnt want a shower. my closest aunt sent me some money for the baby and gave me a gemstone heart necklace that my grandfather made (both grands died before i was born so anytime i can get my hands on a piece of something they made i horde) and another aunt sent me a quilt she made. and that happened for my second born too. both blankets still sit on my kids beds 9 and almost 7 years later. they are beautiful even if that aunt turn more into a witch than ever before (she was always a mean one) i always give out a crocheted baby blanket and knit toys whenever a baby is born. i never go to showers
Julie Schraeder 3 months ago
SIL was extremely rude to reject a handmade gift unless it looked horrible. He should have inquired about colors before he knitted it though. Buy them some diapers & be done with them!
Ethan Boatner 3 months ago
Registries are suggestions, not commands. They help so you don’t duplicate. If you give something else, that’s your gift. (And for a baby shower?) Anyway, she got a gift. She spurned it. That’s it You can’t send a gift-registry collector around to dun for a better, pricier one.
Featherking 3 months ago (edited)
Whoa, a whole family of crazy! I’m almost most blown away by the mothers suggestion of buying an expensive gift ON CREDIT - I’m sorry, ma’am, but you ARE aware that credit cards are not a source of free money, right? The macho man daddy is just a cliché, nothing complicated there, brother is a wimp and SIL a greedy and entitled bítch, but to suggest to your own son to buy a demanded gift to entitled people on your CREDIT CARD? What?
Melany Van Every 4 months ago
Definitely NTA a good friend crochets baby blankets and afghans and gives them away, and everyone is happy to get one! Something handmade is much more meaningful and will probably be kept a lot longer than the overpriced registry stuff.
Ivy at Eve 4 months ago
Sadly, this is not the first I hear of a handmade item being refused for "being the wrong colour". It sometimes is also considered as "cheap" because you made it yourself. As a knitter/crocheter, I can tell you that blanket in materials and hours, is one of the most expensive gifts, let alone all the love that went in to it. For that alone, it didn't deserved the scorn, even being the wrong colour. And for a man knitting: good for you. Reverse genders and make it woodworking and see what happens then... Also, I agree with OP that a gift for a babyshower is not an emergency.
Sophia Athene 4 months ago (edited)
My grandmother gave me a knitted blanket when I was still in single digits. Off all my blankets and clothes from that long ago, I only have that blanket. My house burned down when I was two or I might have more. But I would probably adore the blanket more. My great-mother knitted all of her great- and grandkids a cap, jacket, and booties for their 1st born baby. She made all of them with green trim or all ivory. It made them able to be passed around all their children. I will never have kids but this all that I have left from my great-grandmother (she had 10 kids, I would never ever have inherited anything from her). Maybe I can give them to my nephew when he has kids.
Lori Rommel 4 months ago
The first time I ever heard of a "registry," it was for a bridal shower. And even then, all I could think was, "What stuck-up people! 'We will only accept items from this list!'" And it still feels that way to me.
ColleenCanuck 4 months ago
NTA NTA NTA apparently somebody wasn't taught gratitude and clearly has shown their true greed at the same time. Also a little appreciation for your handmade item would go a long way. Grow up girl accept it and move on. Besides one day u may need a blue blanket, what's the harm?
Myth illogical 4 months ago
My favourite reaction to any gift I've ever given is to a store bought fleece blanket that I appliquéd my own felt designs onto for my nephew when he was first born. He has slept with the blanket ever since; used to refuse to sleep without it wrapped around his head as a child and now, as a 14 year old, still won't get rid of it!
AD Sully 5 months ago
This is tough. There was a situation in my (former) in-law's family where there were so many adult kids that we did a thing every year where all adult kids would draw one name and gift that other adult kid instead of having to buy all eight adult kids a gift. There was a cap at $50 but it wasn't required to spend the whole $50. AND the person would also tell you "I'd like (insert gift card or gift idea here)" and that's what the person would buy. It inevitably caused VERY BAD FEELINGS when anyone went off this formula, and they did. But not with anything as cool as hand made items, more like junk from the dollar store that no one asked for.
Pandaodboredem22 5 months ago
OP's family members saying OP is TA are all disgusting. Family only cares about money. If we received a hand made gift at a shower, birthday, etc we'd be estatic that we're loved enough to receive that
Jeff McDonald 5 months ago
Anyone who turns down something that was handmade is a complete entitled AH. The brother might want to consider growing a spine and standing up for his family. I make leather items from time to time for people and anyone who simply gave one back because it was the wrong color would never have to worry about it happening again.
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AMaureen Dance 5 months ago
When my daughter got married, my friend, an honorary aunt made a cross stitch. It haf both their names and the date and place of the wedding, in English and Hebrew, which needed to be researched. My daughter loved it. My son in law, whose family is the type to send the personal shopper to get 'something personal' was moved beyond words, that someone would put all that care and love into a gift for them.
Bernadine Fraser 5 months ago
My MIL does this to me - gives gifts back. So, I buy something I like now and when she gives it back I keep it. She gets nothing. You met your gift giving obligation and your rude SIL gave it back.
Amused panda 5 months ago
A dark blue blanket? Oh, the horror!! It will not show up stains the same way as a pastel blanket would. It will not clash with whatever shade of pink, purple, green or yellow the nursery, bedding and baby-grows are. It will be something that can be kept for future babies/future generations. SIL is ungrateful.
Nitka Tsar 5 months ago (edited)
I REALLY GET being a bit disappointed about not getting what you wished for, BUT this is ridiculous! Using a credit card? Really? To me it souds like the parents sren‘t buying anything themselves! And anyway: you don‘t really need all that stuff!
Cindy RS 5 months ago
I blame the BROTHER for not shutting down this conversation his house with HIS wife. This should have never been a topic of discussion outside his walls to show the family their immaturity and the entitlement of his wife. Certainly shows her upbringing. And the mom! I can’t even express my disgust there, wth people. First world problems much? Maybe they need to go visit some poor parts of town.
Spencer's slave no longer 5 months ago (edited)
I opened a bank account when my first grandchild was on the way. The money was for whatever my son and daughter in law wanted to use it for. Bills, mortgage, groceries, baby stuff, whatever they chose. That account is still active, 9 years and 3 grandchildren later, for whatever they want to use it for.
Rodney McKay 5 months ago
"demand that he got her" ...a better command of the English language. Tsk, tsk, Bored Panda. Perhaps instead of censoring "naughty" words, you should censor your own language failures.
Ephemera Image 5 months ago
Geez louise, it's a GIFT, not an obligation! I'd be telling them to pound sand if I got my handmade gift back! The rudeness! Brother should be embarrassed as hell, and should be telling wifey to grow up instead of gouging people for gifts as if everyone owes her!
MidnightProphecy 5 months ago
NTA and that's so rude giving the blanket back to him then asking what he's getting when there's expensive items on there - buy them yourself! So entitled I'd tell them to F*** right off. But in hindsight if you're making a baby blanket as a gift and don't know the sex, maybe pick a gender neutral colour? An amazing thoughtful gift but not the smartest colour choice lol
Melissa Bellis 4 months ago
If you reread what he said- he used yarn that he already had. There have been times I had to make the best with materials I already had.
Load More Replies... Vicki Hodges 5 months ago
Geez your SIL is a b***h. Good luck with her. Absolutely NTA. What a lovely person you are for trying your best. Home made blankets are the best.
Steve Hall 5 months ago
Why in the world would anyone expect an uncle to give a baby shower gift?
ReadBannedBooks 5 months ago
BP your headline isn't matching the article about the handknitted blanket. "Woman Gets Offended When Friends Enforce Her “No Talking About Babies” Rule When She’s Pregnant".
notlikeyou1971 5 months ago
NTA. They are selfish and entitled. You gave them a gift. If they can't accept what they were given,then they get nothing. I would not spend extra money, especially knowing that I can't truly afford it to please them. Take the gift I give you or no gift at all. I'd stay away from ppl like this. They are disgusting. Anyone who agrees with them is just as bad. Greedy ppl annoy me. What kind of example will this poor kid have growing up with a parent like that?
Granny's Thoughts 5 months ago
A gift registry are suggestions of what people need. Nobody should demand a certain gift. The SIL sounds awfully entitled. And she was horrible to complain about a gift received!!
The Redhead 5 months ago
NTA! A homemade gift for the new baby is an act of love. A unique gift that is one of a kind just for them. I will admit before my only child was born (a daughter) I wasn't a fan of knitted hats for babies. My daughter was born very prematurly (she's a normal 6 year old now). While she was in the NICU she received a knitted hat from a kind person who knitted little hats & donated them to the NICU for the babies. She looked so sweet in that little hat. Someone took the time to make gifts for countless children & you could just sense the love they put into it for people they didn't even know. That changed my perspective 100%. Her little hat is in her baby memory box. Also blue doesn't have to strictly be a boy color. My daughters older half siblings got her a little blue hippo when she was born. Her hippo is her best friend & nearly constant companion to this day.
Jim Robertson 5 months ago
Take your hourly pay rate and work out the hours spent on the blanket, I bet it works out the most expensive present they would get.
Nota Robot 5 months ago
Anyone not appreciating a hand-crafted gift over a store-bought one is automatically TA
DarkViolet 5 months ago
Years ago, I crocheted a blanket for my second nephew. He's in his 20's, and his mother still has the blanket. I also crocheted a blanket for her (using the Tunisian stitch, which is rather difficult.) 30 years later, the blanket (actually, lap robe) still graces her bed. I crocheted a blanket-and-booties ensemble for a baby at my church. As far as I know, her mother still has that ensemble. OP's sister is a Bratty Insensitive Trifling Childish Harpy who apparently never learned gratitude. "Wrong color"? More like the nephew has the wrong parents NTA.
Michael Wlodarczyk 5 months ago
I'd tell them that if they didn't like the blanket they could shove it up their a*s.
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 5 months ago
Make no mistake, SIL is TA here. But my advice to anyone in that situation would be to communicate in advance. I certainly don't blame OP, but a conversation. May have avoided the whole issue. But that is only a small part of the problem. SIL's appalling entitlement is the bigger issue.
Julia Blake 5 months ago
I think registry isxa vadcidea for any occasion. I didnt have one for my wedding and loads of lovely hearfelt gifts.
Papa 5 months ago
I will strongly disagree. OP specifically said he keeps a zero balance on his credit card, and you think he should go into debt because the new mother rejected the gift he'd spent hours making?
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago
I would have been thrilled over a handknitted blanket. I would have told the baby every time I used the blanket that "Your uncle knitted this for you." So much more than just throwing money at the baby.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Yes!! I said this in a different comment, but my tía (aunt) hand-embroidered my full name and birthdate on a store-bought blanket (which displayed Huckleberry Pie, Strawberry Shortcake's good pal.) Yeah, the blanket was store-bought/mass-produced, but my auntie took the time and effort to embroider the heck out of it and personalize it to ME. I still have that blanket and I treasure it, especially since my auntie died of complications of diabetes many years ago. I honestly think that OP's niece would have loved that blankie no matter WHAT color it is - even if she ended up being a little girl who loved pink and purple instead of blue. I still treasure every last physical piece of my childhood that I still have - my two baby blankets, my stuffed dog Chace, etc. I think SIL did her daughter a disservice by taking that opportunity - to have a hand-made baby blanket to treasure in future years - away from her.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
The SIL is ridiculous and the rest of the family doesn't sound much better. It takes a lot of nerve to give back a handmade gift because you don't like the color. He can't afford the stuff on the list so now they are out of luck on getting anything else. Just because you don't like the color doesn't mean you can't use it. I'm one of the people that hate gender reveals. Why get everything for a boy or girl when the next baby can be the other. When I had mine there was lots of green or yellow or white prints that didn't matter. You could also get boy or girl stuff. My 2nd baby I had to go for an ultrasound because they thought the baby was breech and yep. We didn't tell anybody it was a boy, picked my c-section date that day. There was no doubt at all that it was a boy, he was in the perfect position.
PattyK 5 months ago
It takes a lot of nerve — and bad manners — to give back ANY gift.
Load More Replies... Elvira394 5 months ago (edited)
Honestly, if a man, ANY man, had knitted me ANY custom item for my baby gift...I would have snapped that s**t up and bragged on him for the rest of his life. Even if it was a 13 inch pair of socks, or a knitted red bikini. The level of care and love shown by that act (yes I know it shouldn't be more impressive that a man knitted than a woman, but it's the world we live in), I can't imagine any other gift would surpass. Registries are suggestions...a guide for the people who want to spend some money but also want to make sure it's on a gift the couple wants or needs, without duplication. They are not mandatory directives. Handmade gifts are and should always be accepted just graciously as is the $10,000 guilded crib from a registry. What a person can give and does, outweighs wishes that that person might give more.
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
There’s one word in your comment that cinches the whole issue: graciously. Grace, graciousness. Those are sorely lacking in people these days. Of course, there have always been people who lack grace, but now it seems they’re being lauded for it instead of shamed as they should be. Being unpleasant and downright coarse with others doesn’t make you better or smarter than they are. It just shows you up as an unmannered and socially unacceptable a*****e. They behave as if real life is a reality TV show and they’re having their “oh no they didn’t” moment. How deluded. That is not how you should behave if you want to live in a society with other people in it—-unless you always want to be fighting. Personally, I don’t want to go through life with nothing but conflicts and strife. So I don’t incite them, and I do it by being generally polite. Yes, I have my moments, especially when angry, but that behavior is saved for those situations. I don’t behave like that 24/7/365, as if constantly inviting conflict. That is an exhausting way to live, and I’d rather conserve my energy to spend on the things I enjoy.
Load More Replies... Laura Gillette 5 months ago
LOLOLOL this happened to me. I offered to make my brother and his wife a blanket for their first baby (I knit and crochet). They were like, "oh, if you want, I guess, but can you make us a penguin?" My SIL's favorite animal is penguin. I was like what. I had never made a penguin. I had to teach myself a lot of new skills. I finally made a really cute pink penguin (they were having a girl) and they said, "oh we wanted a regular colored penguin, black and white." They had not specified a color initially. They didn't even want to keep the pink penguin. I had to make another, traditional penguin. Fortunately, that penguin is now my niece's favorite stuffy! She thinks it's an owl though. 🤣
AMaureen Dance 5 months ago
I knitted a baby blanket for a friend, many years ago. This friend is, without a doubt, the most materialistic person I've ever known. She still had the manners to write me a thank you note.
Load More Replies... Undercover 5 months ago
My client knitted mittens for me for christmas. She's a stroke survivor and has difficutlies controlling her left hand, so it took huge commitment to knit these for me. I cried a little because I was so moved 🥹🥹🥹 handmade presents are the best ones!
moggie63 5 months ago
My gf knitted a woollen w***y warmer for me on a coach trip back to uni from home. I told her she needed to put it in a hot wash to shrink it and that she should know better.
Load More Replies... Insomniac 5 months ago
If I ever returned a gift to someone because I didn't like it, my mother would send me to the giver on my knees to apologize (yes, I am a grown adult, but she would haul me by my hair). A gift is something you choose to give. You are never obligated. For years, all I could give my nieces and nephews for birthdays and Christmas was homemade baking. They were always delighted. I have given loaves of fresh bread with homemade jam as wedding gifts (in a nice basket). Always copious thanks. I have hand-sewn baby clothes from scraps I had in my stash because I couldn't afford to buy. Nobody has ever complained or demanded something else, even my well-to-do family and friends who can afford fancy things. People with manners are grateful for the intent behind the gift. If Brother and SIL cannot afford to put together a nursery without family buying the stuff, they should have thought twice about having a baby. It's not OP's responsibility.
Nonya Business 5 months ago
You have a good mom who raised a greatful human being.
Load More Replies... Valerie Woods 5 months ago
We're living in a materialistic society that rewards bad behavior. The lack of class and manners is appalling, and it's being condoned by the grandparents. Buy nothing!
Vinnie 5 months ago
Imagine the SIL telling the OP's niece: "Your uncle is dead to us. He made a blanket in the wrong colour."
Load More Replies... Gonzo Henson 5 months ago
Are they ransoming the baby? It's rude to demand gifts, ruder to demand expensive gifts, rudest to give back gifts that 'aren't good enough.' If OP gives them anything at this point, it should be a couple of packs of ramen noodles with a note saying "After giving back my labour of love, the only thing I have left is the food off of my damn plate."
Mike F 5 months ago
The parents will come around when they have it up to "here" with diapers, lost sleep and laundry. They will be on their knees begging for the OP to babysit so they can have a break and a "date night". I wouldn't worry too much, lol.
Load More Replies... Kim Kermes 5 months ago
Sailors have been knitting and crocheting aboard ship for centuries, including during WWII. My brother's FIL gave me a shawl he crocheted. Go ahead, tell a WWII vet about grown a*s men knitting.
Bowtechie 5 months ago (edited)
The mom saying he should just "put it on his credit card" makes me think she's one of those people who doesn't understand a credit card isn't just free money. He will have to pay that off from the same funds that already aren't sufficient to pay for the stupid registry, and it's just insane to suggest he ruin his credit for such an ungrateful SIL. Entitlement all around (except OP obviously).
Toni Reiner 5 months ago
Made my daughter-in-law a beautiful blanket and an gave a car seat. Never said thank you. She expected the 500 dollar stroller.
marco 5 months ago
NTA - A gift is not a thing you ask for, if someone wants to make a gift, okay, if not, okay as well. If they can not afford the things on theyr own, they maybe should not have made a baby. Anyway, you made a nice gift an put a lot of efford in it, it is very disrespectful to teturn that gift because of the "wrong colour".
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
What kinds of items are they asking for that are over $100? A carseat, a crib, and maybe a swing are reasonable at that cost but I can't think of anything else a baby would need that couldn't be reasonably found for cheaper. And I'm a mom of two.
Papa 5 months ago
I believe there are fancy strollers that cost well over $100.00.
Load More Replies... Zena 5 months ago (edited)
A registry for a baby shower is a great thing for things like a stroller, crib, car seat, etc., when the parents have thoughtfully considered their needs, compared safety features, etc. so that people who want to make this kind of purchase know what will make the parents happy. Also nice if you have a "theme" for your nursery, to let people know ("we're doing Winnie-the-Pooh stuff"); in this case, you could certainly pick up the theme and purchase off-registry items that go with the theme. But: a handmade baby blanket (or clothes; I have a friend who knits an entire layette) is something to be cherished for the effort it takes, regardless of whether it's the right color or theme. These folks are idiots. Also: Dad should be old enough to remember Rosey Grier, former football player who was famous for enjoying knitting, crocheting and needlepoint.
Daya Meyer 5 months ago
I would be grateful and so happy to get a gift like that and I would appreciate his work! There are people who think homemade gifts aren't 'real gifts' and one must pay for it. But they are blind to the value of diy gifts. The thoughts, the time, the planning, the dedication, the learned skill... Never ever I would give it back!
Id row 5 months ago
I would never giver them another gift ever. F the both of them. And f the mother for saying otherwise.
B.Nelson 5 months ago
1) Knitting shows a level of hand dexterity that most people can't fathom 2) Having all your baby blankets match the decor is creepy 3) Baby blanket yarn is expensive! 4) If this happens to anyone else, just get the new parents simple newborn onesies and diapers. It doesn't matter how many they have already, they will always need more.
Hodge Elmwood 5 months ago
Tell SIL that in Victorian days, blue was considered a girl's color because it was "calming", while pink was considered a boy's color because it was more "energetic." On second thought, don't bother telling her, she sounds greedy and entitled.
Justin Smith 5 months ago
Pink was actually because of the red coats. Their coat would get sun damaged with age. So they saw pink as a color for veteran soldiers.
Load More Replies... Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 4 months ago
SIL is a thunderc*nt, OP's brother is a spineless fraction of a man, OP's father is a do*chenozzle and OP is cool as heII for taking the time to make something so beautiful. Like Bouche said, I would have proudly told my child their uncle knitted that just for them!
Craig Reynolds 5 months ago
Am I missing something here? Op is a man! Since when are men expected to go to a baby shower or even buy a gift? I, 63m, never heard of that. Oh, and who has a registry for a baby shower? It sounds like entitled SIL threw herself a shower and that much I do know is unacceptable.
Sherman 5 months ago
I would have been so stoked to get the knitted blanket. I am a bit of a hoarder when it comes to anything knitted. I can't knit. I'm too inpatient N my ADHD will not allow me to actually sit n learn. So I have a deep respect for anyone who can. Anytime I go to a thrift store n I see something that's been knit, I buy it. Doesn't matter how good or bad it is, I buy it. Doesn't matter if it's a lot holder, a bag, a blanket, a pillow cover... I buy it. I probably have about 80 pieces in my collection now. It just makes me so sad to think that someone spent all of this time on this beautiful piece of art n now it's just sitting in this sad thrift store, collecting dust n not being appreciated. So yeah, NTA. F**k your SIL, Your brother N especially your dad. What an insecure, toxic mindset to have... I didn't know that creating art was only for women? Anyway, DO NOT GET THEM ANYTHING ELSE! Beggars can't be choosers. Don't have a baby if y can't afford it. U did ur part. They're just unfr
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 5 months ago
Extreme NTA. But his family is just an open sewage pipe of filth. Wow. The entitlement to specific gifts is mind blowing.
Eva 5 months ago
The only thing reasonable about a registry is to not get bombarded with multiple gifts when you only need one item. SIL is an entitled b***h. The rest of your family sucks. Do not have weddings or baby showers if your guests can't afford expensive gifts and that's not the point of gift giving. Also, there's nothing wrong with men knitting. Don't even give anymore gifts to the kid until they're old enough to speak for themselves, unless they parents complain about their choices. I have a feeling that poor child is going to be taught how to be an ungrateful brat. It was a sweet gift. Best gifts are homemade.
Susy Hammond 5 months ago
The handmade blanket was heart felt and made with love. It could been a car blankie if it clashed with the nursery. Rude family to this uncle-to-be.
Corella Fleabane 5 months ago
Today’s episode of raised by Satan jca Who are these people turning down a handmade blankie???
Jay Cee 2 weeks ago (edited)
Traditionally it was the men that knitted - quite often shepherds to while away the hours watching their flocks. Women spun the wool on spindles and later spinning wheels - hence the name "spinster" - it wasn't regarded as a slur. I crocheted a blanket for my niece's daughter and it went on to become a favoured doll's blanket!
Lena Flising 3 months ago
Dark blue seems to fit any kid, I'd say. It will last longer than a pink or a yellow one. Home-made things are more valuable than simply bought things. If OP's parents think he should buy a present, why don't they chip in, to help him afford it.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
f**k that family. Gifts are exactly that - you don't demand presents.
Jenny Mason 5 months ago
Hand-knitted items are worth far more than some mass-produced nursery items. This is exactly why I will not sell my crocheted and knitted things. People do not understand the costs that go into making things by hand.
Laura Lou 5 months ago
The author changed it for some reason. It had a correct title for this. They sometimes change the title for the article after putting it out, but this just seems to be a mistake.
Load More Replies... Ruth Watry 5 months ago
You cannot force somebody to buy items that they cannot afford. If brother and parents are so adamant that he needs to get a gift off the registry, they can buy it and say that it is from him
ADDchallengedINFP-T 5 months ago
That handknitted blanket is worth much more than $100. I could list a few male knitters here whose work is absolutely amazing. This SIL has a snob complex. OP, keep knitting and perhaps make a list of your hours, cost of yarn, and any other self-employed person creates. Even with min. wage, the blanket would get quite pricey. Be proud of yoursel, and start knitting little things to make some extra money. There are people who will appreciate art, as what knitting is.
Melissa Bellis 4 months ago (edited)
Unfortunately, most people do NOT have an appreciation for what goes into hand made items. A friend donated some items for a youth group fund-raiser. The adult asked the donor if it was okay if she listed the items at a dollar each. The materials, alone, were between $5 and $10 each before any time and effort was put into them. I was showing a person some hand made lace hearts I had made. She asked if I would sell them to her for a dollar each for between 4 and 7 hours work. People who don't make hand made items have no concept about what goes into it.
Load More Replies... Clara Stallworth 5 months ago
Since SIL didn't appreciate the time and effort that OP gave in making the blankie, may I suggest that he should donate it to a charity that assists new moms that couldn't afford baby items? That way, it's not wasted on those who don't appreciate it, like SIL!
Skylar Jaxx 5 months ago
That kid would have loved and cherished that blanket when older and knew the story!!!! Or maybe not with parents like that. Poor kid.
Janelle Collard 5 months ago
Entitled A***oles do not deserve any more consideration from OP. He should go LC with all of the people berating him. People I know would be thrilled with handmade items. The time + love it takes to make them is priceless. I still have an coverlet my grandma made me 65 years ago. :)
2late4me 5 months ago (edited)
If thought and caring are important when choosing a gift, the blanket is spot on. Making a blanket is time consuming and obviously a sign of love. It is truly unique. Knitting was and is done by some of the manliest men around: pirates and other sailors, military (a Vietnam vet and Marine friend of mine crocheted and knitted while deployed). British royal babies' first blankets are hand made. You did great.
Voice of reason? 1 month ago
My kids are grown and I know a lot has changed since then, but my baby showers were women only and my brother's never got me a gift, nor would I have expected one from them. But them calling to ask what OP planned to give after refusing a thoughtful handmade gift?? Just so unbelievably rude and entitled. Start a tradition - handmade gifts for every birthday/holiday!
Georgina Lenna 2 months ago
a hand made blanket, knitted in your precious spare time is more than enough
P.L. Packer 2 months ago
Your SIL is a B***h and your brother is a POS for going along with her attitude. I would just tell them all that since they gave the gift YOU HANDMADE back they can take the registry and shove it where the sun don't shine.
sweet emotion 2 months ago
Tell them (especially SIL) that they are ridiculously entitled AHs and you pity their child, and by the way your friend loved the blanket and was appropriately grateful for your hard work.
blinkaoa187 2 months ago (edited)
I heard once that red used to be the color for boys while blue was a girl's color...at some point they switched. And about the 'price' of the gift, if op makes at least $20 an hour and spent at least 5 hours on it (90% of his downtime for a month, should have been able to earn at least $100 if he'd been at his job those hours) means he invested plenty of money in that gift.
Esther Archuleta 2 months ago
Baby showers are for the baby. It is not the responsibility of family and friends of the expectant parents to furnish the nursery. As for a registry, how greedy can you get?
Andrea Steinacher 2 months ago
Tell your dad knitting was a solely male profession from the 14th to the 19th c
Jaime Borris 3 months ago
i didnt have a baby shower honestly i dont have many friends and while i have a lot (28 aunt/uncles on just my side my husband is closer to 60 aunts/uncle) of relatives i didnt want a shower. my closest aunt sent me some money for the baby and gave me a gemstone heart necklace that my grandfather made (both grands died before i was born so anytime i can get my hands on a piece of something they made i horde) and another aunt sent me a quilt she made. and that happened for my second born too. both blankets still sit on my kids beds 9 and almost 7 years later. they are beautiful even if that aunt turn more into a witch than ever before (she was always a mean one) i always give out a crocheted baby blanket and knit toys whenever a baby is born. i never go to showers
Julie Schraeder 3 months ago
SIL was extremely rude to reject a handmade gift unless it looked horrible. He should have inquired about colors before he knitted it though. Buy them some diapers & be done with them!
Ethan Boatner 3 months ago
Registries are suggestions, not commands. They help so you don’t duplicate. If you give something else, that’s your gift. (And for a baby shower?) Anyway, she got a gift. She spurned it. That’s it You can’t send a gift-registry collector around to dun for a better, pricier one.
Featherking 3 months ago (edited)
Whoa, a whole family of crazy! I’m almost most blown away by the mothers suggestion of buying an expensive gift ON CREDIT - I’m sorry, ma’am, but you ARE aware that credit cards are not a source of free money, right? The macho man daddy is just a cliché, nothing complicated there, brother is a wimp and SIL a greedy and entitled bítch, but to suggest to your own son to buy a demanded gift to entitled people on your CREDIT CARD? What?
Melany Van Every 4 months ago
Definitely NTA a good friend crochets baby blankets and afghans and gives them away, and everyone is happy to get one! Something handmade is much more meaningful and will probably be kept a lot longer than the overpriced registry stuff.
Ivy at Eve 4 months ago
Sadly, this is not the first I hear of a handmade item being refused for "being the wrong colour". It sometimes is also considered as "cheap" because you made it yourself. As a knitter/crocheter, I can tell you that blanket in materials and hours, is one of the most expensive gifts, let alone all the love that went in to it. For that alone, it didn't deserved the scorn, even being the wrong colour. And for a man knitting: good for you. Reverse genders and make it woodworking and see what happens then... Also, I agree with OP that a gift for a babyshower is not an emergency.
Sophia Athene 4 months ago (edited)
My grandmother gave me a knitted blanket when I was still in single digits. Off all my blankets and clothes from that long ago, I only have that blanket. My house burned down when I was two or I might have more. But I would probably adore the blanket more. My great-mother knitted all of her great- and grandkids a cap, jacket, and booties for their 1st born baby. She made all of them with green trim or all ivory. It made them able to be passed around all their children. I will never have kids but this all that I have left from my great-grandmother (she had 10 kids, I would never ever have inherited anything from her). Maybe I can give them to my nephew when he has kids.
Lori Rommel 4 months ago
The first time I ever heard of a "registry," it was for a bridal shower. And even then, all I could think was, "What stuck-up people! 'We will only accept items from this list!'" And it still feels that way to me.
ColleenCanuck 4 months ago
NTA NTA NTA apparently somebody wasn't taught gratitude and clearly has shown their true greed at the same time. Also a little appreciation for your handmade item would go a long way. Grow up girl accept it and move on. Besides one day u may need a blue blanket, what's the harm?
Myth illogical 4 months ago
My favourite reaction to any gift I've ever given is to a store bought fleece blanket that I appliquéd my own felt designs onto for my nephew when he was first born. He has slept with the blanket ever since; used to refuse to sleep without it wrapped around his head as a child and now, as a 14 year old, still won't get rid of it!
AD Sully 5 months ago
This is tough. There was a situation in my (former) in-law's family where there were so many adult kids that we did a thing every year where all adult kids would draw one name and gift that other adult kid instead of having to buy all eight adult kids a gift. There was a cap at $50 but it wasn't required to spend the whole $50. AND the person would also tell you "I'd like (insert gift card or gift idea here)" and that's what the person would buy. It inevitably caused VERY BAD FEELINGS when anyone went off this formula, and they did. But not with anything as cool as hand made items, more like junk from the dollar store that no one asked for.
Pandaodboredem22 5 months ago
OP's family members saying OP is TA are all disgusting. Family only cares about money. If we received a hand made gift at a shower, birthday, etc we'd be estatic that we're loved enough to receive that
Jeff McDonald 5 months ago
Anyone who turns down something that was handmade is a complete entitled AH. The brother might want to consider growing a spine and standing up for his family. I make leather items from time to time for people and anyone who simply gave one back because it was the wrong color would never have to worry about it happening again.
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AMaureen Dance 5 months ago
When my daughter got married, my friend, an honorary aunt made a cross stitch. It haf both their names and the date and place of the wedding, in English and Hebrew, which needed to be researched. My daughter loved it. My son in law, whose family is the type to send the personal shopper to get 'something personal' was moved beyond words, that someone would put all that care and love into a gift for them.
Bernadine Fraser 5 months ago
My MIL does this to me - gives gifts back. So, I buy something I like now and when she gives it back I keep it. She gets nothing. You met your gift giving obligation and your rude SIL gave it back.
Amused panda 5 months ago
A dark blue blanket? Oh, the horror!! It will not show up stains the same way as a pastel blanket would. It will not clash with whatever shade of pink, purple, green or yellow the nursery, bedding and baby-grows are. It will be something that can be kept for future babies/future generations. SIL is ungrateful.
Nitka Tsar 5 months ago (edited)
I REALLY GET being a bit disappointed about not getting what you wished for, BUT this is ridiculous! Using a credit card? Really? To me it souds like the parents sren‘t buying anything themselves! And anyway: you don‘t really need all that stuff!
Cindy RS 5 months ago
I blame the BROTHER for not shutting down this conversation his house with HIS wife. This should have never been a topic of discussion outside his walls to show the family their immaturity and the entitlement of his wife. Certainly shows her upbringing. And the mom! I can’t even express my disgust there, wth people. First world problems much? Maybe they need to go visit some poor parts of town.
Spencer's slave no longer 5 months ago (edited)
I opened a bank account when my first grandchild was on the way. The money was for whatever my son and daughter in law wanted to use it for. Bills, mortgage, groceries, baby stuff, whatever they chose. That account is still active, 9 years and 3 grandchildren later, for whatever they want to use it for.
Rodney McKay 5 months ago
"demand that he got her" ...a better command of the English language. Tsk, tsk, Bored Panda. Perhaps instead of censoring "naughty" words, you should censor your own language failures.
Ephemera Image 5 months ago
Geez louise, it's a GIFT, not an obligation! I'd be telling them to pound sand if I got my handmade gift back! The rudeness! Brother should be embarrassed as hell, and should be telling wifey to grow up instead of gouging people for gifts as if everyone owes her!
MidnightProphecy 5 months ago
NTA and that's so rude giving the blanket back to him then asking what he's getting when there's expensive items on there - buy them yourself! So entitled I'd tell them to F*** right off. But in hindsight if you're making a baby blanket as a gift and don't know the sex, maybe pick a gender neutral colour? An amazing thoughtful gift but not the smartest colour choice lol
Melissa Bellis 4 months ago
If you reread what he said- he used yarn that he already had. There have been times I had to make the best with materials I already had.
Load More Replies... Vicki Hodges 5 months ago
Geez your SIL is a b***h. Good luck with her. Absolutely NTA. What a lovely person you are for trying your best. Home made blankets are the best.
Steve Hall 5 months ago
Why in the world would anyone expect an uncle to give a baby shower gift?
ReadBannedBooks 5 months ago
BP your headline isn't matching the article about the handknitted blanket. "Woman Gets Offended When Friends Enforce Her “No Talking About Babies” Rule When She’s Pregnant".
notlikeyou1971 5 months ago
NTA. They are selfish and entitled. You gave them a gift. If they can't accept what they were given,then they get nothing. I would not spend extra money, especially knowing that I can't truly afford it to please them. Take the gift I give you or no gift at all. I'd stay away from ppl like this. They are disgusting. Anyone who agrees with them is just as bad. Greedy ppl annoy me. What kind of example will this poor kid have growing up with a parent like that?
Granny's Thoughts 5 months ago
A gift registry are suggestions of what people need. Nobody should demand a certain gift. The SIL sounds awfully entitled. And she was horrible to complain about a gift received!!
The Redhead 5 months ago
NTA! A homemade gift for the new baby is an act of love. A unique gift that is one of a kind just for them. I will admit before my only child was born (a daughter) I wasn't a fan of knitted hats for babies. My daughter was born very prematurly (she's a normal 6 year old now). While she was in the NICU she received a knitted hat from a kind person who knitted little hats & donated them to the NICU for the babies. She looked so sweet in that little hat. Someone took the time to make gifts for countless children & you could just sense the love they put into it for people they didn't even know. That changed my perspective 100%. Her little hat is in her baby memory box. Also blue doesn't have to strictly be a boy color. My daughters older half siblings got her a little blue hippo when she was born. Her hippo is her best friend & nearly constant companion to this day.
Jim Robertson 5 months ago
Take your hourly pay rate and work out the hours spent on the blanket, I bet it works out the most expensive present they would get.
Nota Robot 5 months ago
Anyone not appreciating a hand-crafted gift over a store-bought one is automatically TA
DarkViolet 5 months ago
Years ago, I crocheted a blanket for my second nephew. He's in his 20's, and his mother still has the blanket. I also crocheted a blanket for her (using the Tunisian stitch, which is rather difficult.) 30 years later, the blanket (actually, lap robe) still graces her bed. I crocheted a blanket-and-booties ensemble for a baby at my church. As far as I know, her mother still has that ensemble. OP's sister is a Bratty Insensitive Trifling Childish Harpy who apparently never learned gratitude. "Wrong color"? More like the nephew has the wrong parents NTA.
Michael Wlodarczyk 5 months ago
I'd tell them that if they didn't like the blanket they could shove it up their a*s.
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 5 months ago
Make no mistake, SIL is TA here. But my advice to anyone in that situation would be to communicate in advance. I certainly don't blame OP, but a conversation. May have avoided the whole issue. But that is only a small part of the problem. SIL's appalling entitlement is the bigger issue.
Julia Blake 5 months ago
I think registry isxa vadcidea for any occasion. I didnt have one for my wedding and loads of lovely hearfelt gifts.
Papa 5 months ago
I will strongly disagree. OP specifically said he keeps a zero balance on his credit card, and you think he should go into debt because the new mother rejected the gift he'd spent hours making?
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