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“All Hell Broke Loose”: Guy Bails On Brother’s Wedding Last Minute After They Suggest His Disabled Wife Stay With Babysitter
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“All Hell Broke Loose”: Guy Bails On Brother’s Wedding Last Minute After They Suggest His Disabled Wife Stay With Babysitter

Groom Wants His Brother's Disabled Wife To Stay In The Kids Venue, They Don't Show Up To The Wedding At AllGuy Refuses To Attend Brother’s Wedding After His Disabled Wife Is Treated Like A ChildDisabled Woman Is Expected To Stay In The Kids Venue During Her Husband's Brother's Wedding, Drama Ensues“I Remember Just Sort Of Staring At Her For A Bit And Asking If She Was Serious”: Man Drops Out Of Brother’s Wedding After Soon-To-Be SIL Disrespects His WifeHusband Is In Shock After He Finds Out His Disabled Wife Is Expected To Stay In The Kids Venue During His Brother’s WeddingBrother With Disabled Wife Refuses To Attend Wedding After Being Told She Can't Participate Fully And Has To Stay In The Kids VenueMan Refuses To Attend Brother's Wedding After Bride and Groom Offer To Leave Disabled Wife With BabysitterGuy Drops Out From Brother's Wedding After They Wanted His Disabled Wife Stay With A Babysitter, Gets Accused Of 'Making Them Look Bad'
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It is an awful moment when you realize that your family members don’t respect the love of your life. If it were a distant acquaintance or even a friend, it would still sting, but it would be nowhere near as bad as the sense of betrayal you feel when your nearest and dearest stab you in the back.

Redditor u/aitaaccount54156 opened up to the AITA online community in a heartfelt post about how he got into a massive argument with his brother and sister-in-law, just a couple of days before their wedding. The author of the post explained how all of this happened because they thoroughly disrespected his wife. He, in turn, stood up to defend her. Read on for the full story, in the OP’s own words. Bored Panda has reached out to u/aitaaccount54156 via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.

The sad reality is that even our closest relatives can hurt us emotionally

Image credits: maxbelchenko (not the actual photo)

A man shared how his brother and sister-in-law were incredibly disrespectful toward his wife and what he did next

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Image credits: Kyle Nieber (not the actual photo)

The brother and sister-in-law wanted to sideline the man’s spouse

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Image credits: puhhha (not the actual photo)

Tensions flared and the whole situation escalated further

Credits: aitaaccount54156

The entire family drama raised some serious questions about ableism

Image credits: charlesdeluvio (not the actual photo)

The redditor was meant to be his brother’s best man, but he dropped out of the wedding once he realized just how little respect they have for his wife.

“My wife has some injuries that make her slow to respond/understand what others are saying, and she needs help sometimes with her food, I’ll cut it up into small pieces. This doesn’t mean she’s nothing and she’s a smart, capable woman,” the man explained to the AITA community.

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However, the OP’s brother and sister-in-law suggested that, at the wedding, she should sit in the second venue, with the professional babysitter that was hired to look after the guests’ kids. The man was completely shocked, as pretty much anyone else would be if they were in his shoes. Here was someone close to him trying to keep his wife out of sight, to be nannied, as though she were a burden.

That did not sit right with him. The argument escalated and he decided that he wouldn’t have any part in the wedding. He chose his wife over his brother. A difficult decision for anyone. But one that many (if not most) would make.

The redditor then turned to the AITA subreddit to hear their thoughts on the situation. He was interested in whether he was wrong when he decided to no longer attend the wedding at all. Naturally, the vast majority of redditors sided with the OP. Many were horrified by just how disrespectful and ableist his brother and sister-in-law were being.

One of the signs that someone might be ableist is that they treat people with disabilities as though they’re children

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Image credits: alexlucru123 (not the actual photo)

According to disability inclusion training specialist Ashley Eisenmenger, the world “wasn’t built with people with disabilities in mind, and because of that, the world we live in is inherently ‘ableist.’”

Ableism is the discrimination and prejudice against people with disabilities and is rooted in the belief that typical abilities are ‘superior.’ “At its heart, ableism is rooted in the assumption that disabled people require ‘fixing’ and defines people by their disability. Like racism and sexism, ableism classifies entire groups of people as ‘less than,’ and includes harmful stereotypes, misconceptions, and generalizations of people with disabilities,” Eisenmenger explains on ‘Access Living.’

There are many examples of what ableism can look like. One of them includes talking to a person with a disability as though they were a child. Another example would be talking about the person instead of directly to them.

The author shared some more information about what happened in the comments of his post

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Many readers were utterly horrified by what happened. Here are some of their thoughts

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

Author, Community member

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

Author, Community member

Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Heather W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what I posted. NTA. If you wanted to be the AH you would have attended, then during the best man speech announced to everyone what happened and you were leaving and taking your wife with you. You could have *really* ruined the day and shown everyone what kind of people they are. Kudos for actually taking the high road.

Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I hope your marriage is a short one, and you choose a better, less horrible wife next time."

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Kayla J
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad he didn't give in. His parent's suggestion of just this one day is how it starts and next it'll be during other family functions and more. He married his wife in sickness and in health and its pretty sad that two people taking those vows didn't understand what it meant.

Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband’s brother has moderate Down Syndrome. He has the mind of a child, and could often be inappropriate (mooning, showing his bits…he thought it was funny, just like little kids do). But I never ever thought of not inviting him. We were going to make him a groomsman, but MIL said that might be too much for him. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand if he’s not invited to something, yet he has never been excluded in the 30+ years I’ve known him.

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Heather W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what I posted. NTA. If you wanted to be the AH you would have attended, then during the best man speech announced to everyone what happened and you were leaving and taking your wife with you. You could have *really* ruined the day and shown everyone what kind of people they are. Kudos for actually taking the high road.

Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I hope your marriage is a short one, and you choose a better, less horrible wife next time."

Load More Replies...
Kayla J
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad he didn't give in. His parent's suggestion of just this one day is how it starts and next it'll be during other family functions and more. He married his wife in sickness and in health and its pretty sad that two people taking those vows didn't understand what it meant.

Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband’s brother has moderate Down Syndrome. He has the mind of a child, and could often be inappropriate (mooning, showing his bits…he thought it was funny, just like little kids do). But I never ever thought of not inviting him. We were going to make him a groomsman, but MIL said that might be too much for him. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand if he’s not invited to something, yet he has never been excluded in the 30+ years I’ve known him.

Load More Comments
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