There’s nothing more embarrassing than being made a fool of for others’ entertainment. Sure, we live in a day and age where it’s pretty much impossible to escape the almighty eye of CCTV. Others simply do it to make a living. But if you’re anxious about one of your essential skills and your heart’s companion decides it’s okay to share your butterfinger moments with the rest of the world – that can’t be any good, can it?

At least that’s what u/gfdriving was trying to figure out by sharing his side of the story to the “Am I The [Jerk]” community. As he explained, his girlfriend wasn’t your ideal driver. She had a couple of minor car incidents that were captured by home security and dash cameras. He thought it was fine to upload it on YouTube as “educational material” for learners. And while that’s not a big deal, it suddenly became one after u/gfdriving realized he had forgotten to discuss this with his girlfriend beforehand.

Being used as a laughing stock, especially for something you might be greatly embarrassed about, is never fun

Image credits: Usman Malik (not the actual image)

That is particularly true when it’s done behind your back – by your own partner

Image credits: Xingye Jiang (not the actual image)

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual image)

Image credits: gfdriving

The proliferation of nonconsensual videos has caused significant damage to countless relationships

If there’s one thing we can certainly agree on, it’s that along with technological advancement, our already fleeting sense of privacy keeps shrinking. Take, for example, car dash cameras, the bread and butter of “Cops”, the much-maligned reality TV show, and its contemporaries. While some (or 8%) were not fans of this piece of equipment spying on their driving skills, explaining that they “feel their privacy would be encroached upon” or simply due to anxiety behind the wheel, according to one study; it turns out, dashcams helps to decrease accident-related costs by a stunning 86%.

Still, though, using such footage for the good of future drivers without the approval of the video’s subject is wrong any way you want to put it. Particularly, considering that nonconsensual videos have flourished on the internet for years, mostly without their subjects’ knowledge. For one, it breaches the trust between the perpetrator and the victim of such a situation. Not to mention the wave of embarrassment that follows such a revelation.

Breaking someone’s trust, then, can be one of the most insidious things one can do to another human being. Whether it’s cheating on a partner, lying to a friend, or stealing from a colleague, the consequences of breaking someone’s trust can be far-reaching and long-lasting. Even if it isn’t done on purpose.

Image credits: freestocks.org (not the actual image)

The good news is that trust that has been broken is not necessarily beyond repair

We all have been on both sides of the fence and know well how uncomfortable things can get. Similarly, we know that time heals all wounds and there are only a few things that can’t be fixed, and trust ain’t one of them. “The most important steps in rebuilding trust,” Darlene Lancer, a relationship expert and the author of Conquering Shame and Codependency and Codependency for Dummies, explained to Bored Panda, “are to listen to the offended person’s feelings, including their hurt and anger.”

Of course, the important thing is that you have to understand the other person’s side of things and empathize with them, let alone apologize from the bottom of your heart. Only then “you can ask what would make it right and let the individual know that your actions were not intended to be hurtful,” said Lancer.

While it’s always tempting to try to find excuses for your irrational decision, let’s say bringing up the past, Darlene explains it’s always better not to. “It says, ‘You don’t care about me, only yourself,'” she said, arguing that such attempts at justifying one’s actions might only escalate the conflict, since “the hurt person doesn’t feel valued, heard, and sympathized with.”

If you want to keep your relationships strong and healthy, it’s time to start promoting a culture of integrity, trust, and transparency. Of course, it’s easier said than done. But just like with many great things, trust begins with understanding each other’s needs and triggers. Darlene says that, “It’s fine to let your partner know what your triggers are or what topics are off-limits, or need to be discussed with delicacy” even before a very close bond is woven. Besides, regularly discussing the importance of honesty, integrity, and trust can do no harm either.

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Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual image)

People saw right through the guy’s excuses and unanimously decided that he was a jerk

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After seeing the general consensus, the author finally realized how wrong he had been

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