Another approach might have been for her to exclaim "Capital idea! I'm borrowing that" and then scribble 80% on a piece of paper. "Those are the odds of this date succeeding. Everytime you do or say something obnoxious, I subtract percentages. The only way to ensure quality dating time". Then immediately subtract 30%, explaining that's for being a d**k to the staff. And once he tries to retort, happily subtract more in plain view. EDIT: And still compensate the missing tip in the end, of course.

Haven't had a guest do this to me before but I think the s****y part is he just laid down $15 as if that's a huge tip that I should be grateful for or something. That's a decent tip, but I'm not amazed by it or anything. You tell me off the bat that the max you're giving is a mediocre tip and you'll probably get mediocre service.

that guy must eat a lot of spit when he goes to restaurants

That guy has Andrew Tate levels of insight into humans. But he's mostly guaranteeing he won't get good service --- either stressing out a newby (like here, so spilling drinks with any luck on his clothes, and mixing up orders); or alternatively, an experienced one will make a fool of him (refusing, or embarassing with over-complimenting, ... ) PLUS a guarantee of spit of at least two staff members in the food.

YTA for not getting up and leaving the moment he started to play his "game." That is easily the biggest of big red flags right there. How you treat people in the service industry is the quickest and easiest test to define poor character. Passing it may not mean you're a good person. But failing leaves no doubt that you aren't. I hate tipping and tipping culture, but I would never have the gall to treat anyone like this and, whether I like it or not, would still be generous to a person just trying to get by.

NTA but also, I wish I could react in a similar way in similar circumstances. If I'm shocked by a behavior, I tend to freeze up — the best I've done is just walk away — and it's immensely frustrating not to be able to tell the person that they're wrong for what they did.

As his server, I would have knocked over his drink on him. Worth every penny.

I would have gotten up and walked away as soon as he did this. Life is too short to waste time hanging out with trash like this guy.

I had a date try this once. I was tempted to walk out, but I decided to f*ck with him instead. I told the server I was going to start my own pile: Every time he took a dollar from his pile, I would add a dollar to my own. But I made it clear that that was NOT her tip (I would be leaving an actual tip as well). He took dollars away for arbitrary things, and I added dollars for arbitrary things. At one point he insulted the server and took away $4 because she stuttered. I said, "Oh, you want to up the ante? Let's up the ante!" And I slapped a $20 on the table (I was out of singles by that point). He cussed at me, grabbed his remaining dollars, and walked out. I ended up paying for the whole meal, but it was totes worth it. The manager offered to remove my date's charges, but I didn't feel right about that; it wasn't their fault (technically, I antagonized him). When a person's bad behavior has no consequences, they will never see any reason to change.

I had a couple like this before when I was still a server, the wife looked like she could die from embarrassment. I turned to the husband who did it with a smile and death and told him if we play this game, I will ignore your table the whole time you're here and dare you to say something to my manager. 😒I ended up with a write-up for it, but it was worth it. It costs nothing to be kind to people.

Younger me would have been mortified by this when I was serving tables. Nowadays if I were the server for this kind of person, I'd go ahead and write the tip off as a loss and intentionally screw up as much as humanly possible without it backfiring on me. Ordered a regular coke? You get diet. Medium rare steak? I'm sorry I thought you said RARE... woops I'm so sorry I can't believe I tripped over that chair-leg and spilled a plate of hot food in your lap... here, let me help you clean that up with some freezing cold water

I know that it would have gotten the server in trouble, and i'm not suggesting that anyone in this situation should do this, but. I would have loved to see the look on the guy's face if she'd said, "Oh, this is my tip? Thanks!" and swept the $15 off the table.

IDC if they spill some of my drink. IDC if they mess up my order, as long as they correct it. IDC if they're a bit slow bring my food. Those aren't what I judge their service on. Anyone can make a mistake or two. What I base the tip on is their attitude. If they're friendly, they get a nice tip (25-30%). If they act like they hate everyone and asking them to bring us food is the worst thing they've ever heard - they'll get a smaller tip (15%). If I see another customer giving them a hard time, I'll increase my tip and apologize that they have customers like that.

What a twatbasket! That he thinks that waitressing is not a respectable job tells you more about him than anything else. No need to second guess yourself: this guy should end his days alone and in misery.

This was the opener to an episode of Cheers in 1990 (S9E3)

At 65, I have learned some stuff. Want to find out if a person is worth being in a relationship with? Find out three things: 1. How do they sleep? Cool room with a blanket, or hot. You will potentially be spending a great deal of time in bed. Best to be like minded about the arrangements. 2. See how they act with a dog or cat. Any cruelness is a big red flag. Also, animals can sus out a stinker rather quickly. 3. See how they treat wait staff or any service person. No matter how attractive or silver tounged they are, it is best to find out their true character early. This lady did the right thing at the right time.

She didn't want to know if she did the right thing. She wanted to tell this ridiculous story and look like a hero and get all these responses saying how great she is.

Okay, as a former waitress, I can promise you right now, that is not a "game" to us. Most of the money waitstaff make is dependant on the tip (depending on where you work). I was making 4.25/hour, plus tips. I barely had any shifts because we were over staffed, and the guests hardly ever tipped more than 2 dollars because most of them believed that's all we deserved. Only once did I get a ten dollar tip. Trust me, I walked out like I had just gotten 100 bucks. If you can't tip at least 10-20%, don't go out to eat. We prefer cash tips, too. Card tips tend to get split up between every employee, and we don't get them until payday. Imagine only working your a*s off for 4.25 an hour, getting no more than an average of 15 dollars per day, and having to wait for 2 weeks just to get a 400 dollar check, 75 of which is tips. Waitstaff are humans, too. Treat them like it.

I want to ask these a******s if they don't get paid every time THEY make a mistake at work.

Let's play is this a real story or someone making it up so they receive a lot of praise for the obvious right answer?

Sounds like he took some inspiration from an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun. What an idiot.

In this situation, I would have asked the waiter to give us a few moments before putting the order in, and would then have had a discussion with my date. If they continued to behave in this way, I would have asked the waiter to return, given then $20. Turning to the date, I'd explain that I refuse to date people who treat other people so poorly, and wished them the evening they deserved.

My first thought was one of massive anxiety... I knew an ah like this who did this with his kids and their friends 😡..

If this really happened, OP is TA for even asking if they are in the wrong here.

As someone who has worked as wait staff - whoever of you voted "yes" on the poll, I will *personally* fight you and I hope every service worker from here on out spills your drinks on you.

If I was the waitress I'd take the money as soon as he put it down and say, "Every time I mess up, I'll give you back $2. I want to ensure my reward" Because who knows what he deems an offense!

i don't understand the "later that night" part. why was there a later? why did the OP say anything to him after paying their tab and tip? even if he drove, find another ride home because this is the kind of guy who would take offense to his power trip being ruined to the potential point of violence. leave, nope out of there, get gone. block, delete, distance yourself.

My mother would likely have given stellar service to the woman and pure garbage service to him. Or tell him to put the "tip" away as she spilled his drink in his lap.

I saw this in an episode of Third Rock from the Sun. I think it's fake.

This was an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun🤣🤣🤣

This is an urban myth. The same type of thing where someone offers work to a person begging on the street and they turn it down. I've never heard it in this form before - someone pretending they went on a date with the fake story person.