Dear Pandas, it sometimes physically hurts reading some of the stories posted on the AITA subreddit. While plenty of people wondering whether or not they did the right thing end up being exonerated by their fellow redditors, sometimes we get stories like the one you’re about to read. Stories that make you lose your faith in humanity and wonder how thick, ignorant, and lacking in empathy some people can be.

Case in point, a very well-off redditor, who has since deleted their account after the massive backlash he received, shared a tale about how he and his girlfriend went on an expensive vacation abroad with his family. The thing to keep in mind is that the guy earns more than three times what his partner does and comes from a very well-off family. Meanwhile, his girlfriend had to get a second job for several months to even afford to go on the expensive vacation. And even then she couldn’t afford to go on all the outings or to even eat three square meals a day.

Let us know what you think of the situation, dear Pandas, and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview about the proper way to react to situations that make you defensive in a relationship. Spoiler warning: the answer definitely isn’t to avoid taking responsibility for the role you played in what happened.

A very defensive guy from an affluent family enraged the internet with his tale about how his girlfriend went hungry while on vacation

Image credits: David Vives (not the actual photo)

Image credits: reddit

The backlash against the redditor was immense. So much so that they ended up deleting their account and nearly everyone on the AITA community was against the man. In short, at the core of everything lies the fact that the rich dude had all the information available to him—how much his girlfriend makes, what the activities were going to be—and he still managed to remain oblivious to his partner’s struggles.

It’s pretty safe to say that the relationship is on the edge of a knife, teetering on the brink, and it all comes down to the man’s stubbornly defensive approach that he supposedly didn’t do anything wrong because they “agreed” to split the costs 50/50. This sort of defensiveness, among other things, is toxic to a relationship.

Relationship coach Alex Scot highlighted to Bored Panda that the solution to being overly defensive is acknowledging the role that you played in everything. “The antidote for defensiveness is to take responsibility for your part,” she said.

“We’ve all heard the saying, ‘It takes two to tango,’ and when it comes to conflict arising within a relationship, that phrase still rings true. When we can take ownership of the part we contributed to a problem, our partner feels heard and understood which allows the discussion for a solution to take place. Without it, tensions rise, talking becomes yelling, and conflicts are left unresolved only to reappear once again,” the relationship expert told Bored Panda.

Here’s what some redditors had to say about the entire situation. There wasn’t much sympathy for the guy

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