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Guy Shocked At GF’s Reaction To Him Defending His Mom And House: “Doesn’t Believe In Violence”

“I’m Not Going To Apologize”: Guy Defends His Decision To Threaten Intruders With A Gun

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The possibility of an intruder breaking into your home is a truly terrifying one. In 2024, there were around 2.5 million burglaries in the U.S. It’s natural to want to protect your material belongings and loved ones, but people often disagree on the ways to do that.

This couple got into an argument after the boyfriend refused to apologize for the way he defended his home and his ailing mother. The girlfriend believed that violence was never the answer, and the guy was more of a realist. Both refusing to budge, they reached an impasse: who was actually right?

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    After one fateful night, a man and his GF found out they had differing views about protecting their home from intruders

    Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

    As their conflict continued, the guy sought opinions online on whether he handled the attempted home invasion badly

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    Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

    Image credits:

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    Image credits: freepik

    It can be hard when couples disagree about political issues, yet they should still strive to find common values in their differing views

    Couples have disagreements about lots of things: what to eat for dinner, whose parents to visit for Thanksgiving, and where to put that new artwork one of them just bought. However, some conflicts can be about their core beliefs, such as having children, the institution of marriage, or gun ownership.

    A 2024 poll revealed that when dating, 27% of women think that owning a gun is a red flag. In contrast, only 13% of the respondents who were men thought the same. But would it be a deal-breaker? According to one survey, it might be, because it’s the fifth most popular interest that would be a deal-breaker for both men and women.

    So, when partners disagree about ownership, it can become quite a strain on the relationship. Generally, experts recommend respecting each other’s views and opinions, however hard that might be. The partners don’t need to agree on the issue, they just need to respect one another’s opinion.

    According to Gottman-certified therapist Dr. Kathy McMahon, it’s hard, maybe downright impossible, to change your partner’s political views. The same goes for such an issue as gun ownership. Yet you still should strive to understand your partner’s perspective.

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    “Couples can strive to find common values, such as a shared commitment to justice, compassion, or the well-being of their family, to bridge the gap between their differing beliefs,” Dr. McMahon writes.

    Image credits: freepik

    Men and women in the U.S. have very different views towards firearms

    If we were to believe gender stereotypes, we would probably say that the conflict in the OP’s story is a classic one. Man believes he’s the protector of the house, hence, he gets a firearm and isn’t afraid to use it just like any other guy in an ’80s action movie. Interestingly, data shows that men are more likely than women to own guns; almost two times more likely!

    According to a 2022 Gallup survey, there’s a pretty significant gender gap when it comes to gun ownership and attitudes towards its laws in the U.S. More men than women have been gun owners in the past 20 years, for example. In 2022, 43% of men said they own a gun, while only 22% of women admitted to being gun owners.

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    Men and women also have differing views when it comes to gun ownership laws. Women tend to have stricter opinions, thinking that the country needs to regulate gun ownership more. In fact, 62% of women respondents said that the sale of firearms should be made more strict. In contrast, 51% of men thought the same.

    Interestingly, even if they’re gun owners, women would want to see stricter gun laws, as 40% of the women respondents said so. Men, on the other hand, seem to be more lax, as 32% of the respondents said they would like gun ownership to be more regulated.

    Many people sided with the man: “I would take a very long look at my girlfriend”

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    Others blamed him for not taking gun safety seriously and possibly putting his mother and GF in even more danger

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    What do you think ?
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    similarly
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does GF seriously think these people are going to do if they get inside? Does she seriously think they'll all become friends and sit around and drink tea and talk about love and peace?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the GF is one of those people who do not accept/understand that bad things can happen to you even in the safety of your own home (the "it'll never happen to ME!" mindset.) GF probably doesn't think that she could be raped and killed in her own home if someone broke in. Asking them to leave won't work, and sometimes the police won't show up in time even if you call them as someone is breaking in (not saying that the cops won't come immediately, but saying that one can be raped and killed within minutes - before the police arrive.) We had an ex-employee break into our home in 2020 and assault my elderly mother - my dad's caregiver called the cops and luckily a police cruiser was literally one block away, but it still took him ~3-5 min to arrive. The ex-employee wasn't armed (fortunately) and I had run downstairs when I heard noises, and all 5'5" of me was roar-screaming at the dude (he was at least 6'5", lol) to eff off, but my rage stunned him long enough for the cop to arrive.

    Load More Replies...
    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    14 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What world do some of these YTAs live in? Those guys weren't there to give you a copy of the Watchtower or talk to you about your car's extended warranty. I have a Taurus Judge with home defense loads, makes a mess of the intruder and I don't kill any neighbors. However, shooting through doors is an absolute no no.

    Papa
    Community Member
    4 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mentioned not killing the neighbors. That's why when my daughter moved into an apartment by herself I bought her a shotgun instead of a pistol. Someone knocked on her door once in the wee hours, saying it was a pizza delivery. She didn't order a pizza, and told him so, but he said she should take it anyway, and wouldn't leave. She finally grabbed the shotgun and racked it. After hearing that distinctive sound he decided it was time to go.

    Load More Replies...
    Lantana Howell
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA unless you stay with her. You did the right thing and she is unlikely to change her mind. This is the epitome of an irreconcilable difference.

    Ash
    Community Member
    50 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly, you can't fix stupid. (referring to gf in this situ)

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    similarly
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does GF seriously think these people are going to do if they get inside? Does she seriously think they'll all become friends and sit around and drink tea and talk about love and peace?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the GF is one of those people who do not accept/understand that bad things can happen to you even in the safety of your own home (the "it'll never happen to ME!" mindset.) GF probably doesn't think that she could be raped and killed in her own home if someone broke in. Asking them to leave won't work, and sometimes the police won't show up in time even if you call them as someone is breaking in (not saying that the cops won't come immediately, but saying that one can be raped and killed within minutes - before the police arrive.) We had an ex-employee break into our home in 2020 and assault my elderly mother - my dad's caregiver called the cops and luckily a police cruiser was literally one block away, but it still took him ~3-5 min to arrive. The ex-employee wasn't armed (fortunately) and I had run downstairs when I heard noises, and all 5'5" of me was roar-screaming at the dude (he was at least 6'5", lol) to eff off, but my rage stunned him long enough for the cop to arrive.

    Load More Replies...
    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    14 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What world do some of these YTAs live in? Those guys weren't there to give you a copy of the Watchtower or talk to you about your car's extended warranty. I have a Taurus Judge with home defense loads, makes a mess of the intruder and I don't kill any neighbors. However, shooting through doors is an absolute no no.

    Papa
    Community Member
    4 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mentioned not killing the neighbors. That's why when my daughter moved into an apartment by herself I bought her a shotgun instead of a pistol. Someone knocked on her door once in the wee hours, saying it was a pizza delivery. She didn't order a pizza, and told him so, but he said she should take it anyway, and wouldn't leave. She finally grabbed the shotgun and racked it. After hearing that distinctive sound he decided it was time to go.

    Load More Replies...
    Lantana Howell
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA unless you stay with her. You did the right thing and she is unlikely to change her mind. This is the epitome of an irreconcilable difference.

    Ash
    Community Member
    50 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly, you can't fix stupid. (referring to gf in this situ)

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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