Totally agreed . Tbh , I would get very uncomfortable too if I was OP .

@Mistiekim ;Please don't make assumptions abt poly relationships. OP is NTA, because his decision isn't about them being poly, but because he doesn't know Dave. It's still kind of offensive for you to say that their relationship is "bizarre" (especially if you're saying it because they're poly and not because of the admittedly weird age difference.) Poly people have a different sexual identity than monogamous people. A mono person in a poly relationship will get jealous, because they're mono and therefore not built for that kind of relationship. Poly people experience relationships differently. I am a polyamorous person, and the idea of being jealous of someone else my partner dates makes no sense to me. As long as I know that they care about me, it doesn't matter who they see when I'm not around. You admit you have limited knowledge of poly relationships, so I'm not sure why you felt the need to comment on how they don't make sense to you.

My comment was that it seems his parents are indeed choosing this other man over their son - he respects their life choices and this relationship. They are not respecting him by valuing his request to not include Dave as he has not been apart of his life. My explanation of my limited knowledge is only to reveal that I don’t quite understand how the relationship works, therefore I don’t know how insulting the son’s request is. However, they are his parents and should want to their child happy and not create this drama on his special day.

Rather than sticking to the topic at hand, you chose to concentrate on the fact that Mistie admits to having limited limited understanding of poly relationships and then feel as if you hafta stick up for ‘em. That wasn’t the topic of Mistie’s post, though. Consider rereading it. All Mistie did was preface her remarks with her level of knowledge before launching into her take on the situation (which seems to be the same as the majority’s take on it). What she knows or doesn’t know about polyamory hasn’t anything to do with the topic at hand other than that it may color where her feelings about Dave come from.

I’m anticipating and giggling about the “AITA?” post you might make some day given all the women in your dad’s life. It’ll prolly be so viral it’ll break the net in a way Kim Kardashian’s bottom couldn’t! 😀 (I hope it was okay to make that joke; I’m merely funning around with you because the situation you describe sounds like the type where either you cry or else you laugh and I’m really hoping you chose the latter, because if you chose the former, you’d be all dehydrated.) (Wowie; DadGanesh suuure gets around, huh? I sure hope it was all worth it to him! (I’m imagining the most god-awful support payments to all those women. Yikes! It could make for a fun Netflix series, at least the way you describe it; the reality may be a lot less entertaining and fun-sounding, though.) (Sounds as if you came through it intact, though, so yay for you!)

I agree with you here, that's why it's such a mess though isn't it? Ideally his peer, as you put it, doesn't actually care about being invited or not. But if this peer has been trying to get to know OP they might feel hurt. If you kid hurts your partner, you'll want to stand up for your partner right? Especially if said partner didn't actually do anything bad to your kid. You and OP both are not obligated to accept anyone, nor does anyone "deserve" a wedding invitation regardless of relationship. But like you said, OP will still be their son. Whether they attend his wedding or not. Whether he invited Dave or not. Either way, there's going to be friction. No good solution.

Groom and groom. OP is marrying a man. And yes I didn't disagree that it's entirely the couple's choice who they invite and who they don't. But in the end whether you accept an invitation or not is your choice. If he doesn't invite Dave and his parents double down then they won't be there and the relationship is damaged. If he invites Dave and feels awkward then his wedding is ruined and the relationship is damaged. As things stand there's no good outcome beyond Dave going "actually it's perfectly fine that he didn't invite me".

If people in general have younger partners, that's fine. But if parents date people at the age of their own children, that's definitely icky! He could be their own son! He sleeps in their own sons bedroom! They f**k a man that is the same age as their own flesh and blood. That IS icky.

why? OP is in his mid-late 20s, making Dave also in his mid-late 20s. maybe mom's a cougar and dad likes to watch? it's none of OPs business HOW his parents run their sex lives. he's a grown-a*s man, and the polycule are all consenting adults. sounds to me, still, like OP has some serious hangups.

And so what if OP does have some serious hangups? (If he does, then so do a lot of us!) Most of us have hangups about one thing or another. So what?

But it IS icky to many (most?). I’m imagining my parents moving someone my age into my old bedroom and then telling me they’re in a relationship with her, and it frankly turns my stomach. That IS weird to many. If they wanna get with a girl my age then GREAT! But maybe move her into the guest bedroom and not my old room. Having her in my old room smells of topics I’d rather not mention. (The situation I describe here is totally moot, thank cow, as my mom is dead and my dad is close to being dead, too, and at this moment, I’m grateful I was NEVER in this situation! 😱)

Jessica - he never said their relationship was “icky”. He said it made him uncomfortable, which is understandable given the age difference and the fact that it’s his parents. These are people he grew up with and probably imagined could only love each other. The addition of a third person was probably a bit jarring until he came to terms with it. The issue he has is that he doesn’t know Dave and therefore doesn’t want to invite him.