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“Two Fronts Formed”: A Man’s Absence From A Wedding Causes Chaos, As The Reason He Didn’t Attend Splits The Family
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“Two Fronts Formed”: A Man’s Absence From A Wedding Causes Chaos, As The Reason He Didn’t Attend Splits The Family

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The truth shall set you free, but it might also cause a great deal of infighting among those close to you. This was the experience of one internet user who wanted to detail the time being honest and ended up causing quite a stir.

A man shared his chaotic experience with texting his family after not being invited to his brother’s wedding. His sister-in-law-to-be had a somewhat traditional family that wouldn’t approve of a male guest bringing their boyfriend, so OP was asked to stay home. Not wanting to cause a stir, he complied, only to get confused texts from his parents asking him where he was. So he decided to tell them exactly why he couldn’t come.

Being truthful is almost always the right choice, but people might not always take information well

Image credits: Renate Vanaga (not the actual photo)

A man told his family why he wasn’t at his brother’s wedding and caused a massive argument

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Some of his family thought the brother was out of line, and quickly two sides had formed

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Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)

Image source: Charming_Educator612

Honesty can be tricky, and unpleasant, but is almost always the best course of action in the long run

Despite any number of difficulties, pressure, conflict-aversion, and people-pleasing, honesty is generally the best practice. Our cultural history is chock-full of advice to just tell the truth, though normally this is tied into some dilemma. All sorts of classic scenarios, often involving confessing to a misdeed, where honesty will cause some punishment. Thinkers and creatives of all sorts have made appeals for people to avoid lying, from William Shakespeare, who wrote “No legacy is so rich as honesty” in Act 3, scene 5 of “All’s Well That Ends Well, though this doesn’t necessarily mean that the bard believed it himself. Thomas Jefferson once said that “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom,” so we can believe that he did absolutely believe in its virtues.

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So to OP’s credit, he did the wise and honorable thing, though his situation was a lot more straightforward. In a perfect world, his brother would have stood up for him over his bride-to-be, but ultimately OP was reasonable enough to decide that this hill was not worth dying on. The sad truth is that a brother who wouldn’t take his side maybe wasn’t close enough to cause a marital battle over. After all, it was the bride’s family with the conservative beliefs, and it’s unlikely that just seeing an openly bi man would have changed their opinion. Similarly, it might even be hard to enjoy a wedding party if there are only bigoted people about, judging you from the sidelines.

Being confronted with your own words should be a cause for introspection, not anger

While there are a lot of details missing, it’s pretty telling that OP’s brother, having learned that OP simply told the parent’s exactly what was said to him, flipped out. Screaming at someone just for repeating exactly what you said should be a good time for introspection. If you tell someone something that you absolutely don’t want to be repeated, you should really think your actions through. OP’s brother, unfortunately, wanted to have his cake and eat it as well. He wanted to satisfy his wife’s demands and also maintain his standing as a good brother in front of his parents. Compromise is hard and when confronted with the consequences of his choices, he unloads his anger on the one person who decided to be reasonable.

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Despite the lack of details we actually have about OP’s relationship with his brother, this experience might shed some light on why it seemingly wasn’t that hard for him to just skip the wedding. But it’s also heartwarming to see that OP’s family stood up for him so readily and surprising that the brother had caved to his wives’ family wishes so quickly. OP deserved better, but hopefully, this experience has shown him that most of his family is on his side, and would be happy to be with him.

Readers sympathized with OP who just wanted everyone to have a good day

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Others shared similar stories with family drama

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Kotryna Br

Kotryna Br

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

Read less »

Kotryna Br

Kotryna Br

Author, BoredPanda staff

Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP’s new sister in law is at the center of this. She let her parents railroad her into a church wedding she didn’t want, and she shielded them and their beliefs by requesting her soon to be brother in law not attend because it might make her parents mad. So she’s the wuss who wouldn’t tell her parents to go f*****g pound sand, that she was inviting her fiancé’s brother whether they like it or not. Then she got OP’s brother on board with placating HER parents and offending HIS. I don’t see that marriage lasting very long if his family is in the 21st century and hers in still in the Dark Ages. Not one single tiny speck of the fracas at the reception was OP’s fault. Brother’s? Yes. Sister in law’s? Yes. Sister in law’s backward homophobic family? Oh Hell to the YES!

Wise Turtle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn’t have said it better myself. They could’ve fought for op’s right to be at the wedding but of course they’d rather placate bigots than the parents fighting for their child

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xolitaire
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the first time I wish we got an update, because this is just sad.

Ron Baza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bigots will remain bigots. Eventually they will die. At their funerals, the minister will say “We are all born with God’s love. But they lived their lives with hate. Good riddance.”

Load More Replies...
Kristi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda telling what your brother and his family will be like from now on if "telling the truth" ruined a whole wedding. Leave it to the ultra religious people to get offended when it's their actions that caused this mess.. keep on living your life!!

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP’s new sister in law is at the center of this. She let her parents railroad her into a church wedding she didn’t want, and she shielded them and their beliefs by requesting her soon to be brother in law not attend because it might make her parents mad. So she’s the wuss who wouldn’t tell her parents to go f*****g pound sand, that she was inviting her fiancé’s brother whether they like it or not. Then she got OP’s brother on board with placating HER parents and offending HIS. I don’t see that marriage lasting very long if his family is in the 21st century and hers in still in the Dark Ages. Not one single tiny speck of the fracas at the reception was OP’s fault. Brother’s? Yes. Sister in law’s? Yes. Sister in law’s backward homophobic family? Oh Hell to the YES!

Wise Turtle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn’t have said it better myself. They could’ve fought for op’s right to be at the wedding but of course they’d rather placate bigots than the parents fighting for their child

Load More Replies...
xolitaire
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the first time I wish we got an update, because this is just sad.

Ron Baza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bigots will remain bigots. Eventually they will die. At their funerals, the minister will say “We are all born with God’s love. But they lived their lives with hate. Good riddance.”

Load More Replies...
Kristi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda telling what your brother and his family will be like from now on if "telling the truth" ruined a whole wedding. Leave it to the ultra religious people to get offended when it's their actions that caused this mess.. keep on living your life!!

Load More Comments
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