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Toxic Partner Pressures Postpartum Wife About ‘Husband Stitch’, She Finally Has Enough

Toxic Partner Pressures Postpartum Wife About ‘Husband Stitch’, She Finally Has Enough

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Your partner’s support after you give birth is absolutely essential. Your body is going through some major changes during the postpartum period, and it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re loved and respected no matter what.

On the other hand, if your significant other keeps making hurtful jokes and comments about how you look, it can make anyone wonder what exactly is going on and whether you know them at all. An anonymous woman, who recently gave birth, opened up to the r/AITAH community about how her husband started making toxic comments about her body, forcing her to move out with their son. Read on for the full story.

Highlights
  • Medical professionals say the 'husband stitch' has no benefit and can cause painful sex.
  • The husband's offensive joke about the wife's body at dinner was the last straw for her.
  • Many internet users supported the woman, calling her husband's behavior abusive.

It can be utterly devastating to realize that the person you married isn’t who you thought they were

Image credits: damirkhabirov / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

A postpartum mom sought some advice on the internet after her husband started insulting her in private and in public

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Image credits: drazenphoto / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Intelligent_Fox_5588

The procedure that the husband wanted his wife to get is outdated and has no benefit

Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)

The last straw, as the author revealed, was her husband making an offensive joke about her postpartum body while they were having dinner with his family.

She tried explaining why this was so hurtful to her. However, instead of admitting that he was in the wrong, the husband tried to guilt trip her about not having gotten the so-called “husband stitch” after giving birth.

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What the man and the author are referring to, as explained by Medical News Today, is “an extra stitch that some women say they have received during the repair of an episiotomy or vaginal tear. This procedure takes place after delivery to decrease the size of a woman’s vaginal opening.”

The procedure is outdated (it originally traces back to the mid-1950s) and has “no approved medical use or benefit. Healthcare providers should never perform this procedure without the woman’s consent.”

According to MNT, there are no advantages to getting an extra stitch. “The vagina is a muscle that expands during birth but should eventually return to its predelivery state.”

Meanwhile, “Stitching the vaginal opening tighter will likely cause painful sex for both partners.”

So, what the story author’s husband was guilt-tripping her about is a procedure that is not only outdated but has no real benefit, and may actually be detrimental to both of them.

Medical professionals can do a lot to help new moms during the postpartum period

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Image credits: Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)

The postpartum period starts immediately after giving birth. Typically, it lasts between 6 to 8 weeks. It officially ends when the mother’s body has nearly returned to its pre-pregnant state.

According to researchers at the University of Kansas, some of the most common postpartum concerns include the so-called postpartum blues, aka baby blues. This is transient depression that is very common during the first week after delivery.

“Women may notice feeling down, anxious, mood swings, crying spells, irritability, and difficulty sleeping. Postpartum blues typically resolve within 2 weeks,” the researchers state.

Other common postpartum issues include intimate partner violence, incontinence, as well as hemorrhoids. This is why it’s so important that doctors, nurses, and healthcare providers put in the effort to support moms after their babies are delivered, not just during the delivery.

After the woman’s story went viral on Reddit and elsewhere on the internet, it ended up getting removed.

Meanwhile, the author’s account got suspended, so we were unable to reach out to her for an update about what happened next.

What would you have done if you were in the mom’s position? What advice would you give her? What did you do to support your partner after delivery? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Many readers were appalled by the man’s behavior. They came out in support of the mom

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Some internet users had some controversial opinions to share

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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cattkitt avatar
TribbleThinking
Community Member
5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gynaecologist who told the husband to drop his pants so she could tell how many "husband stitches" were required. 😄😄😄

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had horrific tearing during her first birth, over 100 internal stitches, a few infections, and pretty much every problem you can think of., She couldn't have intercourse for a full year. Her husband didn't complain once. All he cared about was her healing and doing his share of taking care of the baby. He is so annoying to me at times, but I could not have asked for a better husband for my sister or a more devoted, involved father to his children. This woman needs to run. "It's just a joke" is what abusers and bullies do to justify their actions. And then we get worn down, gaslighted that we're overreacting, and end up with trauma. Just get out, OP. Go far away.

anoniemereserve avatar
Jaya
Community Member
1 hour ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's so adamant that there be a surgery procedure to make their genitals fit in each other more tightly, he should just get penis enlargement surgery.

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cattkitt avatar
TribbleThinking
Community Member
5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gynaecologist who told the husband to drop his pants so she could tell how many "husband stitches" were required. 😄😄😄

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had horrific tearing during her first birth, over 100 internal stitches, a few infections, and pretty much every problem you can think of., She couldn't have intercourse for a full year. Her husband didn't complain once. All he cared about was her healing and doing his share of taking care of the baby. He is so annoying to me at times, but I could not have asked for a better husband for my sister or a more devoted, involved father to his children. This woman needs to run. "It's just a joke" is what abusers and bullies do to justify their actions. And then we get worn down, gaslighted that we're overreacting, and end up with trauma. Just get out, OP. Go far away.

anoniemereserve avatar
Jaya
Community Member
1 hour ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's so adamant that there be a surgery procedure to make their genitals fit in each other more tightly, he should just get penis enlargement surgery.

Load More Comments
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