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“They Made A Pact”: Pole Dancer Reveals Hidden Truths About Bachelorette Parties

“They Made A Pact”: Pole Dancer Reveals Hidden Truths About Bachelorette Parties

Interview With Expert
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Women cheat, and a lot, at least according to Nath Wyld, a 31-year-old male pole dancer, whose job has led him to witness firsthand how they use bachelorette parties as an excuse to do things their partners would hate to know about.

“Every single one of the girls in the party cheated on their partners,” Wyld said, recounting an interstate event where he was hired to dance. “It was so crazy, and they all made a pact that they would never talk about it again.”

Highlights
  • A male stripper reports women cheat at bachelorette parties, claiming one in ten are unfaithful.
  • Wyld states women believe they won't get caught, making them as guilty as men.
  • A 2023 survey found 70% of bachelorette and bachelor party attendees cheat in some form.
  • Experts attribute cheating to peer pressure and substances at bachelorette parties.

For Wyld, who abandoned a life as a tradesman in order to become a pole dancer, female unfaithfulness has become almost a routine. According to him, approximately one in ten women who go to these parties ends up cheating on their significant other.

“The narrative is always that guys mess up more at bucks’ parties, but women are no different,” he stated.

“In some ways, they might be worse because they don’t think they’ll get caught.”

RELATED:

    Male pole dancer shared his experience witnessing women cheat on their partners at bachelorette parties: “Women are no different”

    Image credits: tabitha turner / Unsplash

    Despite his shocking statistics, Wyld believes he might be selling it short, as in his experience, most attendees keep their relationship statuses vague, considering themselves “single for the night,” and not informing the pole dancer if they’re involved with someone else.

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    The experience has led the dancer to question preestablished notions of infidelity, which often painted men as the main culprits of such behavior.

    Image credits: nath_wyld

    His observations, however, were supported by broader research into the patterns of pre-wedding infidelity. For instance, a 2023 survey conducted on 6,000 bachelor party attendees found that 70% of them cheated on their partners while at these events.

    The figures were virtually identical between men and women. However, it’s important to note that the study defined cheating as anything from flirting, to sexting, and engaging in sexual acts of varying intensity.

    According to experts, the cheating is the result of social and peer pressure, as the events are characterized as a “last hurrah” before marriage

    Image credits: nath_wyld

    According to experts like Bela Gandhi, founder of Smart Dating Academy, the behavior is explained by a combination of societal and peer pressure.

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    “Bachelor and bachelorette parties, it’s the last hurrah,” Gandhi stated. “These events are often fueled by alcohol, controlled substances, peer pressure, and a lack of communication between partners.”

    Image credits: nath_wyld

    According to Wyld, things can get “out of control” pretty quickly, with attendees pushing boundaries fueled by drugs and alcohol, as well as the overall atmosphere of the events.

    As per the survey, the most common forms of infidelity involve receiving lap dances in 33% of cases, kissing the dancer in 21% of cases, and escalating to intimate sexual acts at 11%, a figure that coincides with Wyld’s previous assessment.

    An industry veteran explained to Bored Panda that each agency sets the boundaries their dancers are allowed to cross, and urged people to choose wisely

    Image credits: tabitha turner / Unsplash

    To better understand the complexities of the male pole dancer world, Bored Panda spoke with Pablo Castro, the owner of Vedettos Chile, a high-class male dancer agency with over 26 years organizing bachelorette parties.

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    Castro, who worked as a dancer himself for 25 years before retiring, explained that the quality and nature of the service offered by the pole dancers is linked to the prestige of each agency.

    “Agencies are in charge of setting the boundaries the dancers operate within,” he said. “Some offer services that are more explicit in nature, while others like us do not tolerate nudity.”

    Image credits: nath_wyld

    However, running a male dancer business comes with a host of challenges, as bachelorette parties are intrinsically linked with alcohol and other recreational substances that the agency can’t manage.

    “We protect our dancers from harassment, but that’s not something that every agency does,” Castro explained, recounting how at times women can become quite intense due to the atmosphere of said events.

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    Image credits: nath_wyld

    For Castro, an agency’s reputation is of utmost importance, and avoiding situations that can facilitate cheating has been essential for their longtime success.

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    “We pride ourselves in the service and security we provide, but that’s not always the case for other agencies or dancers.”

    “Ultimately, each customer is responsible for the experience they hire, which why choosing wisely and communicating with your partner is very important,” he said.

    “No wonder marriages don’t last.” Netizens lamented the pole dancer’s account, feeling disheartened about marriage in general

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    Abel Musa Miño

    Abel Musa Miño

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Abel is a journalist at Bored Panda. Born in Santiago, Chile, he holds a Bachelor's degree in Communication and a diploma in International Relations. In his spare time, you can find him tinkering with his motorbike, playing with his dog, or reading a good novel.

    Read less »
    Abel Musa Miño

    Abel Musa Miño

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Abel is a journalist at Bored Panda. Born in Santiago, Chile, he holds a Bachelor's degree in Communication and a diploma in International Relations. In his spare time, you can find him tinkering with his motorbike, playing with his dog, or reading a good novel.

    Renan Duarte

    Renan Duarte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Renan Duarte

    Renan Duarte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol the photo of him in the bathrobe where he tucked it into his butt crack to show off his big glutes, hilarious.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That pic made me giggle. He's got a better äss than I ever had, even when I was younger. I'm sure he actually does the work to maintain the muscles, though, to be fair XD

    Load More Replies...
    Black Cat
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have thought getting a stripper for either gender is a red flag. If you cant stay faithful to your fiance, you're probably not going to be faithful to your spouse. It's the same person you're cheating on.

    Lee Lee
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree. Almost every bachelor party I've ever been to involved strippers in one form or another and its always been in good fun. I can only think of one occassion where the groom to be actually slept with a stripper and ironically enough they have one of the better marriages among my friends. Just my two cents though

    Load More Replies...
    TruthoftheHeart
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I have never understood having a stripper at a bachelor or bachelorette party anyways. You're about to get married why would you want to see anybody but the person that you love with all of your heart naked?

    Margaret Shannon
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think there is a difference between people who attend parties where there’s alcohol and strippers and people who prefer tamer entertainment.

    Major Harris
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wife and i will be married for 36 years this may. my bach party was just a few of my friends, drinking, eating, wrestling and remembering our times in high school. no stripper. respect her too much for that. hers was the same. never understood for that whole "last hurrah" garbage that is pushed.

    Mari
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why you are still married, you have a lot of respect for her and she is respecting you too. I am happy for you both.

    Load More Replies...
    Space Invader
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that the numbers go from "every single one" (at one specific party, granted) to "one in ten" and then to 70%...

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Different studies and then this strippers estimate. Obviously different groups of people have different numbers

    Load More Replies...
    Sergio Bicerra
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many years ago, can't remember where I was but heard a conversation about a bachelorette party, maybe early 2000's. The part that stuck with me was 'the (male) stipper locked himself in the bathroom and started crying pleading to me let out of the house' Aparentlly they were heavily inoxicated and the harrasement was strong on those women.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Article says the survey didn't distinguish between flirting and having sex when definine cheating. Really show they were just trying to get through data to fit an argument

    Arkham Wohlfert
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m not surprised but I’m bummed out that people get so offended by it. I mean if you’re ok with someone going to a party w strippers, you should damn well be ok with them getting lap dances at minimum. It may be becuase I, queer, but i have never been in a relationship where we policed each others desires. Instead we talk them, make them happen when possible and set boundaries that are rational, not hard to keep, and are respectful of not just each other but our honest desires and sexual needs. For safety we don’t sleep with other people that we don’t know well,and so far after 10 years married, we have both chosen each time to only do so together. But if that need changed, I am 100% sure I can trust my spouse to talk to me openly about it. As far as lap dances, or tipping or a little grinding or groping here and there, so long as it is consensual, and no chance of STIs, I’m all for her expressing herself. I never want to take sexual independence from someone I love. I could never be with someone I didn’t trust with the kind of honesty that comes with sexual liberation. How sad to have to lie or be unsure about the person you are most vulnerable with!

    LukewarmSoymilk
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neither polygamy nor open relationships are for me, but your relationship sounds a lot healthier than 99% of monogamous/conservative relationships I've seen. This just goes to show that communication is key. I'm happy for you! :)

    Load More Replies...
    Aline
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who cheat at bachelorette parties, have cheated on other occasions. If you're at a party and this happens, upgrade your friends I've been to a fair few bachelorette parties, no one has cheated, I can't imagine that would have gone unnoticed by the group. Clearly these are all friend groups where cheating is acceptable, which means, they have don't it before and will do it again. Doesn't have anything to do with the upcoming nuptials.

    Violet
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be honest it'd probably break my heart to know that my fiancé would want to hire a woman to be half naked (or however clothed/naked they are lol) to entertain him and his friends on the night before our wedding..I mean I guess some women might be okay with that and that's okay I'm not judging but idk it just wouldn't feel right to me. Thank goodness him and I already assured each other we'd only be hanging with friends the night before, I'm just glad he wants the same thing I do

    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TBH this guy is probably more attractive to his same sex. Woman cheat as much as men but do it a lot more discreetly and efficiently.

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always wondered, is this more of an US-American Thing? I've been to a couple of my friend's bachelor events, and none of them were at a strip club. I'm German, btw.

    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never bought into the requirement for Strippers, Nudity or Infidelity at bachelor(ette) parties. I dunno ... I hung out with my friends and we had a good time, that was it.

    LukewarmSoymilk
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend like this. When I go clubbing, I'm just there to dance and have fun, maybe have some conversations. My friend, however, had been in a long-term relationship; her motto was "once I leave the house, I'm single until I come back". Okay then.

    Mari
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she still your friend? I would end the friendship, I don't like people who lie and cheat.

    Load More Replies...
    Wendy Boustani
    Community Member
    7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This article is deeply unserious and should be ashamed. No integrity. The article mentions 70% cheaters and that is so bad! Very worrisome. Then the article fully reels that back and says cheating includes flirting to sexual acts, such a lap dance. It does mention 11% but even that figure likely needs additional work from it's readers to understand, since this article can not be trusted to do anything but AT BEST misrepresent. Very unserious. Shame on the writer. I was interested to learn more about this and instead learned that BP in at least one case can simply not be trusted. It's good it was as least contextualized. It's bad that a bad number was still highlighted

    Wendy Boustani
    Community Member
    7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this article is disingenuous AT BEST. 70% cheaters sounds terrible! Wow, so bad. Then the article fully reels that back to admitting that cheating includes both flirting and sexual acts, which includes lap dances, etc. 11% is problematic enough and I bet even that figure needs additional shading done on behalf of an article that purports to deal with a serious subject. Seriously. For shame. Very unserious.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol the photo of him in the bathrobe where he tucked it into his butt crack to show off his big glutes, hilarious.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That pic made me giggle. He's got a better äss than I ever had, even when I was younger. I'm sure he actually does the work to maintain the muscles, though, to be fair XD

    Load More Replies...
    Black Cat
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have thought getting a stripper for either gender is a red flag. If you cant stay faithful to your fiance, you're probably not going to be faithful to your spouse. It's the same person you're cheating on.

    Lee Lee
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree. Almost every bachelor party I've ever been to involved strippers in one form or another and its always been in good fun. I can only think of one occassion where the groom to be actually slept with a stripper and ironically enough they have one of the better marriages among my friends. Just my two cents though

    Load More Replies...
    TruthoftheHeart
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I have never understood having a stripper at a bachelor or bachelorette party anyways. You're about to get married why would you want to see anybody but the person that you love with all of your heart naked?

    Margaret Shannon
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think there is a difference between people who attend parties where there’s alcohol and strippers and people who prefer tamer entertainment.

    Major Harris
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wife and i will be married for 36 years this may. my bach party was just a few of my friends, drinking, eating, wrestling and remembering our times in high school. no stripper. respect her too much for that. hers was the same. never understood for that whole "last hurrah" garbage that is pushed.

    Mari
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why you are still married, you have a lot of respect for her and she is respecting you too. I am happy for you both.

    Load More Replies...
    Space Invader
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that the numbers go from "every single one" (at one specific party, granted) to "one in ten" and then to 70%...

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Different studies and then this strippers estimate. Obviously different groups of people have different numbers

    Load More Replies...
    Sergio Bicerra
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many years ago, can't remember where I was but heard a conversation about a bachelorette party, maybe early 2000's. The part that stuck with me was 'the (male) stipper locked himself in the bathroom and started crying pleading to me let out of the house' Aparentlly they were heavily inoxicated and the harrasement was strong on those women.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Article says the survey didn't distinguish between flirting and having sex when definine cheating. Really show they were just trying to get through data to fit an argument

    Arkham Wohlfert
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m not surprised but I’m bummed out that people get so offended by it. I mean if you’re ok with someone going to a party w strippers, you should damn well be ok with them getting lap dances at minimum. It may be becuase I, queer, but i have never been in a relationship where we policed each others desires. Instead we talk them, make them happen when possible and set boundaries that are rational, not hard to keep, and are respectful of not just each other but our honest desires and sexual needs. For safety we don’t sleep with other people that we don’t know well,and so far after 10 years married, we have both chosen each time to only do so together. But if that need changed, I am 100% sure I can trust my spouse to talk to me openly about it. As far as lap dances, or tipping or a little grinding or groping here and there, so long as it is consensual, and no chance of STIs, I’m all for her expressing herself. I never want to take sexual independence from someone I love. I could never be with someone I didn’t trust with the kind of honesty that comes with sexual liberation. How sad to have to lie or be unsure about the person you are most vulnerable with!

    LukewarmSoymilk
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neither polygamy nor open relationships are for me, but your relationship sounds a lot healthier than 99% of monogamous/conservative relationships I've seen. This just goes to show that communication is key. I'm happy for you! :)

    Load More Replies...
    Aline
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who cheat at bachelorette parties, have cheated on other occasions. If you're at a party and this happens, upgrade your friends I've been to a fair few bachelorette parties, no one has cheated, I can't imagine that would have gone unnoticed by the group. Clearly these are all friend groups where cheating is acceptable, which means, they have don't it before and will do it again. Doesn't have anything to do with the upcoming nuptials.

    Violet
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be honest it'd probably break my heart to know that my fiancé would want to hire a woman to be half naked (or however clothed/naked they are lol) to entertain him and his friends on the night before our wedding..I mean I guess some women might be okay with that and that's okay I'm not judging but idk it just wouldn't feel right to me. Thank goodness him and I already assured each other we'd only be hanging with friends the night before, I'm just glad he wants the same thing I do

    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TBH this guy is probably more attractive to his same sex. Woman cheat as much as men but do it a lot more discreetly and efficiently.

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always wondered, is this more of an US-American Thing? I've been to a couple of my friend's bachelor events, and none of them were at a strip club. I'm German, btw.

    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never bought into the requirement for Strippers, Nudity or Infidelity at bachelor(ette) parties. I dunno ... I hung out with my friends and we had a good time, that was it.

    LukewarmSoymilk
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend like this. When I go clubbing, I'm just there to dance and have fun, maybe have some conversations. My friend, however, had been in a long-term relationship; her motto was "once I leave the house, I'm single until I come back". Okay then.

    Mari
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she still your friend? I would end the friendship, I don't like people who lie and cheat.

    Load More Replies...
    Wendy Boustani
    Community Member
    7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This article is deeply unserious and should be ashamed. No integrity. The article mentions 70% cheaters and that is so bad! Very worrisome. Then the article fully reels that back and says cheating includes flirting to sexual acts, such a lap dance. It does mention 11% but even that figure likely needs additional work from it's readers to understand, since this article can not be trusted to do anything but AT BEST misrepresent. Very unserious. Shame on the writer. I was interested to learn more about this and instead learned that BP in at least one case can simply not be trusted. It's good it was as least contextualized. It's bad that a bad number was still highlighted

    Wendy Boustani
    Community Member
    7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this article is disingenuous AT BEST. 70% cheaters sounds terrible! Wow, so bad. Then the article fully reels that back to admitting that cheating includes both flirting and sexual acts, which includes lap dances, etc. 11% is problematic enough and I bet even that figure needs additional shading done on behalf of an article that purports to deal with a serious subject. Seriously. For shame. Very unserious.

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