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Man Asks Internet For Advice If He Should Contact GF After Being Incarcerated For 9 Years And Losing Touch
Sometimes, a feeling gets a hold of you and simply won’t let go. Days, weeks, months, years, and even decades pass, but it only takes a smell, a sound, a certain image to take you back to that moment and make you feel exactly the same way as you did all those years ago.
A man shared his story of holding on to feelings for an old girlfriend more than a decade after they were separated, detailing how he finally contacted her and what happened from there.
More info: Reddit
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Finding love and comfort after being detached from society for a long time is difficult, but possible
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
The poster of the story wanted advice on whether he should contact a woman he had lost contact with 10 years ago after being imprisoned for political reasons
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
They had dated for two years, but after he got arrested, his girlfriend’s brother and the poster’s best friend died and his girlfriend left the country
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
With all of these traumatic events in the past and being unsure of her current relation status, the poster asked advice on whether to contact her
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
Encouraged by the community, the poster reached out to the old girlfriend and came back with an update
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Image credits: Burst (not the actual photo)
He sent her a polite message and some time later he got a call, with the woman asking if it really was him
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Turns out she never forgot him, attempting to send care packages and money to the jail where he was being held
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Image credits: Incase (not the actual photo)
They agreed to have a video call soon, with OP being both excited and anxious that he’ll have changed too much for her to like him
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok (not the actual photo)
About two months later, the poster came back with another update and they had had their first video call and many more
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Image credits: Suparada Intharoek (not the actual photo)
He mentioned that when he first saw her, he thought about how beautiful she was, telling stories of how caring she is, sending him care packages once again
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
She also encourages him to go out and see things, with the poster saying that he’s seen more of the city in the past month than in the entire time he’s lived there
Image credits: ThrowRA9478385939
Finally, they set up an in-person meeting, with them talking pretty much daily and growing even closer
The story is super touching, from the wrongful incarceration, to him never letting go of her and her also doing her best to send care packages to him while he was imprisoned and then finally contacting each other and slowly growing closer. To me, it’s really bittersweet, in the truest sense of the word – it was bitter at the start, but hopefully it can continue to sweeten for OP and his friend Daria.
Integration and assimilation is always no easy task, no matter if you’re moving to another country or are released from jail after a long time. It’s even worse if you’re going through all of it, traumatized by your experiences, as both OP and Daria are, as indicated by the post itself and some comments.
Forbes talks about dating after prison, saying that no matter the crime, it is always difficult, especially when it comes to saying to your date that you’re a felon. It seems that there is never a good moment to do so and that lots of times people react judgmentally, either recoiling in fear or somehow romanticizing the time served, both of which are never good signs.
Besides dating people, ex-inmates mention that it’s really difficult seeing all the changes in society, especially all the technological advancements. For us, it may be easy to keep on top of new tech, phones, computers, and appliances as they come out, but for people who have lived completely detached from our rhythm, it is completely different.
Image credits: Antonio Lorenzana Bermejo (not the actual photo)
On Slate, Michael Santos shares his experiences of being reintegrated into society after 25 years in prison. He mentions that he had never seen a modern cellphone after his wife (who he had married while in prison!) handed him an iPhone, and that she had to teach him. He also mentions that the news wasn’t as intense, with less political debacles. Fashion had also changed drastically from before his prison time, with people wearing much more revealing clothing.
What also may be interesting is reintegration to society after, say, a coma. Annie Shapiro was a person who woke up from one of the longest comas ever – 29 whole years. She had suffered a massive stroke in 1969 and woke up nearly three decades later. Sources say that it was difficult for her to come to grips with the fact that she was now a grandmother, that people have landed on the moon, and that there were now cordless telephones.
Her story apparently even inspired the 1998 movie Forever Love, which featured a woman attempting to reintegrate into society when she wakes up from a coma 20 years later. I won’t spoil the movie, but with the tagline: “She will discover betrayal… before she discovers herself,” on the poster of the movie, I doubt it could be anything short of amazing.
In the comments on his various posts, OP elaborated with some more details. He mentions that their conversations have been completely platonic, but he has also very awkwardly asked her whether she is in any relationship at the moment – and was relieved when the answer was no.
It also turns out that the laws of the country OP was in have changed recently, making people who are charged with the offenses that the poster was eligible for the death penalty. They mention how much has changed and how happy they are now, living in a country where their troubles are small and mostly bureaucratic.
OP’s story, reposted in the Best Of Redditor Updates sub, collected more than a whopping 17 thousand upvotes. It also collected nearly 1k comments, with people saying how touching it was, making them cry and wishing all the best for OP and Daria. Share your thoughts about the story in the comments below!
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What do you think ?
Kaa 1 year ago
Ooohhhj I need an update how the visit went! This was a very heartwarming read. Thanks for posting
guyx23 1 year ago
Damn ninjas cutting onions. Very touching and well written. (Also, assuming the country where Daria lives is probably France due to the mention of recent riots?)
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
And their country of origin might be Russia. I know the name he used is fake, but I think you tend to use names that are familiar to you and Daria is a Eastern European name. I know it from Poland and Ukraine, so it is probably Russian too.
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Kaa 1 year ago
Ooohhhj I need an update how the visit went! This was a very heartwarming read. Thanks for posting
guyx23 1 year ago
Damn ninjas cutting onions. Very touching and well written. (Also, assuming the country where Daria lives is probably France due to the mention of recent riots?)
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
And their country of origin might be Russia. I know the name he used is fake, but I think you tend to use names that are familiar to you and Daria is a Eastern European name. I know it from Poland and Ukraine, so it is probably Russian too.
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